dragonsatmidnight

[dragonsatmidnight]

stoned and autistic at a party trying to make conversation: I find the comparative lifespan of organisms so interesting. Spiders are comparatively long lived animals. Female black widows can live up to 3 years but their male counterparts rarely live four months. Some tarantulas live upwards of 20 years. The longest lived spider was around 43 years old when she was cruelly assassinated by a parasitic wasp. Domestic rats have a lifespan comparable to female black widows. To put things into perspective, there are spiders that remember a pre-pandemic world but it is likely every rat on earth was born post-COVID. There could be a spider out there born when Reagan was in office.

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Inspired by various tumblr posts.

Humans quickly get a reputation among the interplanetry alliance and the reputation is this: when going somewhere dangerous, take a human.

Humans are tough. Humans can last days without food. Humans heal so fast they pierce holes in themselves or inject ink for fun. Humans will walk for days on broken bones in order to make it to safety. Humans will literally cut off bits of themselves if trapped by a disaster.

You would be amazed what humans will do to survive. Or to ensure the survival of others they feel responsible for.

That’s the other thing. Humans pack-bond, and they spill their pack-bonding instincts everywhere. Sure it’s weird when they talk sympathetically to broken spaceships or try to pet every lifeform that scans as non-toxic. It’s even a little weird that just existing in the same place as them for long enough seems to make them care about you. But if you’re hurt, if you’re trapped, if you need someone to fetch help?

You really want a human.

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hi. fuck ice. here is how you can help families affected by unlawful deportation

edit: and FUCK LAPD. here is how you can help bail out protestors who are in the trenches, facing mass arrests and putting their bodies on the line.

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— requested by manbunjon

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's my understanding that in the criminal underworld, only two things are really widely known about Parker:

Parker is insane

Parker is a world-famous thief—the Parker

No one really knows what she looks like, who she works for, or even that she is a she.

So may I suggest "The 101 Parkers Job":

There's a global job so huge and so important that it behooves the Leverage crew to split up and convince many, many marks that the person they're dealing with is the Parker. Obviously, Parker can only be in place at a time, so this includes the usual suspects—Eliot, Hardison, Sophie, Harry, and Breanna—plus lots of members of Leverage International as well as some surprise faces, including Maggie, Quinn, McSweeten, Tara, and Sterling (and that's just the tip of the iceberg), all pretending to be Parker. For one glorious episode, they are all Parker, embodying all of the weirdness and skill that entails to the best of their abilities, guided by comms in the most chaotic job possible.

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“tumblr mutual” beloved friend I would pick up at the airport if y’all visited my home city

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The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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Throwback Thursday: It was 5 years ago when we were celebrating award season for The Shape Of Water, and I got to live my dream of being in an old musical dance number (dressed as an Amphibian Man, of course) with the amazing Sally Hawkins.

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on watching a parent age

i saw somebody say “what if you’re gone and i haven’t become anything yet” and basically that broke me on a random thursday evening

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You are suddenly an NPC.

Am I free to go?

I am exercising my right to a lawyer

I am exercising my right to remain silent

And that's it. Cops can legally lie to you, and they absolutely will. They care about confessions and success, not accuracy. Any cop, any time.

Also, you know.

HEY

so if you know someone who went to the LA protests today no you don't actually! All of those people have no identity. You've never been to a protest, you've never seen someone at one, and you certainly have never known the names or faces of any individuals associated with the protests.

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Always better to have information and not need it than to need information and not have it.

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"i want a dislike button on ao3" so you want less fanfic. even if you don't think you want less fanfic you want less fanfic. because when people start getting dislikes on their fanfic they will want to write less fanfic. hope this helps <3

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Okay you know what? Schizophrenia is way too demonized and, as someone who has had it for ten freaking years, I want to dispel some myths about hallucinations.

Aka talking about hallucinations using my own personal examples because I had an actual fucking THERAPIST tell me I was the ONLY person in the world who experienced hallucinations that were not solely visual or auditory. Warning for…hallucinations obviously.

Visual hallucinations - These are hallucinations you see. I usually experience these by way of inanimate objects moving (like dolls or mannequins moving on their own, before you ask yes I do hate clothing stores). Sometimes these can be scary and sometimes they’re mundane! I’ve hallucinated monsters and I’ve hallucinated pretty birds. Hallucinations don’t always have to be scary.

Auditory hallucinations - These are hallucinations you hear. I commonly hear crying, talking, music, and video game noises. If I play a video game for too long and it has a repetitive sound in it, I WILL be hearing that sound for minimum three hours. You think the sound that plays in LoZ when you’re low on hearts is annoying? Try having to listen to it on loop when you’re not even playing the game. Like with visual hallucinations, they’re not always scary! Contrary to popular belief, they can be totally mundane. Hearing voices is not always scary either. Sometimes they just say random stuff, sometimes they give me little pep talks, most of the time they just all talk over each other at once and I’m like GUYS ONE AT A TIME PLEASE jeezy cheez-it’s.

Tactile hallucinations - These are hallucinations you feel. I hear common tactile hallucinations are feelings of bugs on you and fur but I don’t usually have these, I mostly have tactile hallucinations of being choked which is…not fun.

Olfactory hallucinations - These are hallucinations you smell. Yeah I thought of farts first too. So far I haven’t heard of that being a common hallucination though. I hear a common olfactory hallucination is burning? But I just smell wet metal. I…don’t know why.

Gustatory hallucinations - These are hallucinations you taste. I don’t know how to pronounce gustatory either. I often taste blood or metal. I hear those are pretty common gustatory hallucinations.

None of these hallucinations are inherently scary! As a child, I thought hallucinations were a super power. After living with them for over ten years, they just don’t phase me that much. Remember: you don’t have to be schizophrenic to experience hallucinations! There are many things that cause hallucinations including and not limited to trauma, PTSD, psychotic depression, etc. (sometimes even stress!)

But please please please be kind to people who hallucinate. I’ve lived with it for over ten years and (rarely) it can still be terrifying to me sometimes. People say “But there’s nothing there and you know that-“ yes I know that! But it’s still very very real to me and very terrifying! Minimizing what people experience with their hallucinations is not helpful and will only make them feel worse.

Thank you for reading!

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Love this! Stay safe folks (x)

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