dragonsplz

[dragonsplz]

“We have no full amnesia; it’s OSDD-1!”

-to the tune of Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches by Emilie Autumn

Two reason’s this is here: firstly, I thought ‘this is terrible, open tumblr.com’

but secondly I was like literally who is going to get this joke (because it was just the line ‘we have no anesthesia: it’s 1841″ stuck in our head and someone decided to Meme) but maybe?

[dragonsplz]

hi what a wild couple of days; yesterday i purged so hard i popped a vessel in my eyelid and today my best friend’s sibling (who i am also about to live with) and i revealed that we were gay for each other so uhhh 

[dragonsplz]

i had my second dose of the vaccine yesterday and started to feel like i was going to pass the fuck out so i ate like how i think actual people might eat (except idk what the fuck do people really eat 2500 calories daily????) to try and take care of my stupid body but now my brain is freaking the absolute fuck out and i just tried to talk to a friend about it and they have just. not responded at all. and then my friend that i really wanna talk to about it (but i worry that i’ll trigger her) started talking about the jelly i made earlier in the day and we got talking about some of the foraged foods recipes i’ve been doing and i just feel even grosser thinking that i’ll have to continue to eat food in the coming days

[dragonsplz]

literally not active on here anymore except to occasionally look at UA content and complain but like,,, this is stuff i don’t know who irl is capable of handling hearing about like

the one friend i think i could maybe talk to about The Bigger Thing is on vacation and i don’t wanna accidentally trigger her But being at my grandmother’s house is relapse the remix like i’ve relapsed in sh (which,, i have people i could talk to about it but ehh it helps idk something something harm reduction) but also!! my disordered eating  has definitely just Gotten Ten Times Worse. I haven’t talked to any professionals about it so like idk not diagnosed with an eating disorder but i’m pretty sure obsessively counting calories and forcing myself to over-exercise (haven’t done that in a couple years and even then i don’t think it was a full blown ed) isn’t healthy. But Wait! There’s More! I’m now abusing drugs that suppress my appetite! And Even More! last night at like 1am i binged (which has been a kinda common occurrence since high school) and then purged for the first time! i got puke on the walls!! 

i have said that I'm still not dealing with the traumatic things that happened over the past year but maybe i should say I'm not dealing with them in healthy ways.

also please don’t think the exclamation points mean I'm excited or proud of myself they are facetious and i am Suffering

[dragonsplz]

klaus: time sensitive question, how to flirt with boy

diego: throw rocks at he

ben: hotdog

vanya: kill him

klaus: thank you guys

[dragonsplz]

So naturally I'm only horny for people I should not be horny for

[dragonsplz]

i genuinely am just dumb as fuck and want to make dumb as fuck decisions but my anxiety is metaphorically cockblocking me

[dragonsplz]

not to be Problematic but as someone with chronic pain i love when i get so fucking mad i can no longer feel my body over the stupidest shit : ) like yeah now i am filled with rage and have no outlet but at least i can’t feel every single joint in my body

[dragonsplz]

well it turns out i don’t have hot glue but i Do have too many emotions that i could cause copious amounts of Issues with and no one to stop me from fucking over relationships permanently : )

my “i want to cause problems on purpose” is either i want to put hot glue on my face to look like caroline polachek in the crying in public music video or say/do the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times knowing there would be serious repercussions there is no in between but i am in a Why Not Both? kinda mood

[dragonsplz]

my “i want to cause problems on purpose” is either i want to put hot glue on my face to look like caroline polachek in the crying in public music video or say/do the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times knowing there would be serious repercussions there is no in between but i am in a Why Not Both? kinda mood

[dragonsplz]

Hi! I’m Very Mentally Ill! And I Want To Do Impulsive Things! And Tell People My Feelings! But I Am Afraid Then They Will Not Want To Be Friends With Me Anymore!

[dragonsplz]

Look I'm really high and would really like to be railed to ic3peak/witchhouse in general

[dragonsplz]

o fun time to split again. can people just not fucking make plans that they won’t keep? that would be cool now i’m super pissed off and my psych appt is in 10 mins

[dragonsplz]

idk man like i get being unenthused about me being goofy and trying to give lint as a gift but i painted on one of my good canvases and i don’t think “it’s not great” is the correct response to receiving art as a gift? like bitch i know it’s not great but i tried and i spent time on it for you like ??????

[dragonsplz]

only vaguely related but i am overanalyzing like 4 different people’s attitudes towards me and i would 100% make Decisions right now

[dragonsplz]

cw substance misuse

love to deal with the Big BPD Splitting by getting crossfaded hahahaha i sure am fun to be around

[dragonsplz]

day 2 of lithium and day uhh 4 of putting off calling my insurance to find a dbt specialist. not officially diagnosed but probably if i talk to someone who knows about bpd i will be i guess? according to my psychiatrist?