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dre-the-farter · 25 days ago

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A Rodeo to Remember

The loud cheer of the crowd caused you to nearly cover your ears. You’d only been here a few minutes, and you were already sick of it. You didn’t know exactly how you’d let your boyfriend drag you out here, but you certainly knew how this day would end. You’d begun to grow sick of him lately and was planning on breaking up with him once this show was over. You basically had almost nothing in common with him and, most of all, hated his gross, disgusting ‘humour’ if you could even call it that. If it weren’t for his raging good looks, you would’ve left him a long time ago.

“Hey there, big boy.”

Speak of the devil. You looked over to see your “boyfriend” coming over to you, carrying a tray of food. He was also wearing that silly cowboy hat, that so many other guys were wearing. You have to admit, you did feel a little hungry and considered grabbing one of the nachos on his tray. He sat down next to you with a smile.

“Sorry I took a while. I was in the bathroom taking a pretty big dump, that coffee and eggs I had for breakfast just went right through me. But I got some food for us on the way back.”

Ugh, hearing that put you right off your appetite. You sighed and turned your head away. He just laughed.

“Aww, don’t be like that. Come here, I’ll make it up to you.”

You sighed, looking back at him. It was that dam alluring smile he gave you that always somehow kept you coming back to him, every time you’d thought about leaving. You sighed and decided to lean in hoping for a nice surprise. Instead, you saw him lean to the side, pointing his jean cladded ass in your direction, and squeezed one eye.

FFRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT

A small tuba sounding fart rang out from his ass. You didn’t even have time to react before the smell of beans and eggs hit your nose, causing you to react badly and waft it away. Your boyfriend just laughed, as if it was one of the funniest things ever.

“Oh man, you always fall for that doncha?”

See what you meant? His humour is just repulsive. You couldn’t take it anymore, you were sick of him, his farts, his over descriptions of his toilet habits, this rodeo and everything about him in general. You considered breaking the news to him now but couldn’t bring yourself to do it face to face, at least not yet. You’d do it as soon as you got home (considering he was your only ride back). You stood up and said you were going to get some ‘air’.

“Ok then, I’ll see you later. Also, if you’re going to use the bathroom, avoid stall 4 cause that was the one I used and hoooboy, it was a real stinker.”

That was the last thing you heard before he started sniggering and you walked away. You’d just about reached your limit. The question was, where would you go now. You looked around and noticed a free bench at the far end of the stadium where he wouldn’t be able to see you. You sat down and pulled out your phone to distract yourself from this silly show. You noticed that it was on low charge and sighed, wishing you’d charged it before you left.

You leaned back, but then stumbled, as you remembered that these stalls didn’t have any back rests. Before you could react, you tumbled over backwards and hit the ground bellow. You looked around and realised you were trapped under the stall, with a beam of light from the gap in the seat shining over you.

You were about to jump up and leave when suddenly, out of nowhere, four other guys sat upon the bench, blocking your way out. They all appeared to dress the same as your boyfriend, with jeans on and wearing those stupid hats. All you could now see was their tight asses sticking over the bench, directly above you.

“See boys, I told you would make it in time.”

“Yeah well, we would’ve made it sooner if we didn’t stop at that buffet.”

“Well, you know me boy, I love me some beans.”

You could only just hear their voices, but it was a little muffled. Yet, you couldn’t help noticing that one of their voices sounded somewhat familiar. You didn’t have time to worry about that though, as you had to figure a way out. You thought about asking them to move, but then realised you’d have to come up with an explanation to why you were there in the first place. You didn’t want to look like some kind of pervert. As you were thinking of an escape, you were bought to the attention of a certain noise that you were all too familiar with. A noise you really didn’t wish to hear right now.

BBBBRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP

It had a low trombone sound. It was slightly muffled by his jeans, but it was the unmistakable sound of a fart from one of the cowboys above you. You heard the cowboy on the right laugh heartily as the smell began to hit your nose.

“Speaking of beans, you boys better hold onto your hats, because I’m about to get windier than a hurricane.”

You desperately wafted away the smell. This had to be the worst luck imaginable. You didn’t know how long the show was going to last, but you couldn’t stay here.

FFFFFFFRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT

Seriously? Another small blast, bassy came from the booty next to him, followed by his laughter as well. You were thankful that the sound, and somewhat smell, was at least muffled by their jeans. What were the chances of always being stuck close to flatulent maniacs like this?

“Now that’s some real southern wind right there.” It disgusted you that these men seemed to have no shame. They were no worse than your boyfriend. You continued to try and look for a way out, without disturbing them. As you were doing so, you heard a strange hissing noise. You weren’t sure where it was coming from, but didn’t care right now. That was before your nose was suddenly assaulted by a stench of rotten meat that made you halt in your tracks and actually cover your nose. From above, you could hear the others react to it and laugh as well as comment about it.

“And that’s why they call me the silent skunk.” The guy on the far left said gleefully. Whilst the others had been bad, this one was a little too much. You finally let out a cough, pretty loudly at that. There was a short silence, as you suddenly realised what you’d done.

“Well, well boys, lookie what we got here.” You turned your head up to see that all 4 of them were now looking down at you. You froze, unable to find the words of what to say.

“Some kind of perv trying to get a good look at our asses?” There was a fierce undertone in their voices that made you feel worried.

“Wait a god damm minute, I know you.” Said the one on the left, you looked over at him and recognised his face. A few weeks ago, your boyfriend had forcibly taken you down to a bar, where he began chatting with a few guys. There was this one guy he particularly got on with, which he started shamelessly having a fart competition with, to which a lot of the other bar guys cheered them on. His name was Robert, you think. The whole thing had disgusted you and was one of the reasons that you’d wanted to break up with him. You didn’t even care about when he'd told you he was going to the bathroom with that guy to play ‘battleshits’, whatever that was, it sounded gross. They could’ve hooked up for all you cared, as it would’ve saved you having to break up. But now here he was, directly above you… small world.

“This is the guy who was talking about breaking up with Jerry, for saying he farts too much.” Wait, had you told him that? You had gotten rather drunk, so maybe you rambled something to him at some point. “What’s the matter boy, scared of a little wind?”

“It’s alright, maybe you just need a whiff of some proper gas. How bout we give this boy a first-hand experience?” Your eyes shot open widely. They wouldn’t, would they? You then heard the others cheer and agree. Oh god, they would. Then, to your terror, all 4 of them began to pull down their jeans and pants, fully exposing their bare asses above you. Their fat, jiggling asses where now pointed directly above you, with nowhere for you to escape.

“This is what you get for trying to break Jerry’s heart. Come on boys, let’s get rooting TOOTING!” You quickly tried to cover your nose with your shirt, but it didn’t make that much difference, as each of their asses began blasting.

BBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT

FFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTT

FFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT

BBBBBRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRTTTTTT

BBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSPPPPPPPBBBBBBBBBBBBB

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTT

FFFFFFFFFFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT

RRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Their asses roared as the show continued on for what felt like forever. You could hear them whooping and hollering, combined with them grunting and laughing at you. The stench of beans, eggs and rotten meat was getting trapped, entering your nostrils under the stands. You desperately tried to look for a way out, but the loud blasts coming from above you were distracting you from your thoughts of escape.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you heard the guys get up and pull up their jeans. They looked down at you, as you felt on the verge of passing out, smirking.

“Now that’s some payback. Phew, that smells worse than a manure field in the summer sun.” One of them said, smiling at you.

“Oh, and don’t think you’re off the hook yet, because I’m going to tell Jeremy the truth, something that I bet you were too scared to do. See you later fart boy.” Robert said, looking darkly at you. And with that, they all headed off, leaving you finally free to scramble out and gasp for air. You got a few strange looks from a few people walking by, but you didn’t care. You stumbled out to the entrance and looked at your phone. You’d received a text from Jeremy.

“I just got told from a friend that you wanted to dump me. If that’s really how you feel then fine, it’s over!! Good luck getting home.”

You couldn’t decide whether or not to feel thankful or not. On the one hand, you were relieved to be done with it. But, on the other hand, you kinda wished you’d gotten to do it when you got home, as you didn’t have any other means of transportation back. Still, at least that meant you didn’t have to worry about riding in the car with him whilst he farted it up, locked the windows and laughed at you as you’d gag (as he always would).

You figured your best option was to call an Uber home. Unfortunately, as you opened the app, that’s when your phone decided to die. Great, now what? You began to panic a bit, when suddenly a car pulled up to you in the car park. A guy then poked his head out the window, with a silly cowboy hat, asking if you needed a ride. There was something familiar about his voice, but you didn’t care, as you were rather desperate. You reluctantly agreed and climbed in. You looked around to see 2 other guys in the car. That’s when it hit you that they were the same guys who’d been farting above you in the stands just mere minutes ago. What were the chances?

“Boy, are we glad we ran into you? After your little breakup with poor Jeremy, Robert rode back home with him to cheer him up. I think he’ll make a way better boyfriend to him than you ever were. Apparently, they had a farting competition on the way back.” You cringed, wondering why that was important for him to mention.

“Yeah, but we felt kinda sad that we got to miss out on it. But now that you’re here, we figured you’d be the perfect person to judge our contest, considering you’re apparently pretty good at taking them point blank, according to Jeremy.” You gulped and realised the horrible mistake you’d made. You’d rather walk all the way back than this. You quickly tried to jiggle the door, but it was unfortunately locked.

“Haha, sorry bud, can’t let you go. Those beans we had earlier are still bubbling our guts up stronger than a volcano in erupting season.”

“Hey, maybe when we get back, he could judge our game of battleshits as well?” You felt your stomach drop in horror. It was bad enough trying to avoid the bathroom when only Jeremy was using it, but 3 people like him?

“Good idea boy, but first, let’s warm him up a bit.” They all then pointed their asses to the side as they began to grunt. You felt your body go limp, you knew when you were beaten. One thing’s for certain, this truly cemented your hatred of rodeos.

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