dreamcr

[dreamcr]

who: santiago muñoz where: santiago's home tagged: @murdcrofcrows

It hadn't been long since she last visited her brother's home, but the swarm made it feel like it'd been weeks. The swarm and its aftermath had her unable to leave the premises of the Afterglow Compound. At least - that's what she'd been telling herself the whole time. Yes, the wall of protesters had her scared to go out, but in reality it was only part of the reason she couldn't go out and leave the Compound. Part of her felt like it had been her duty to work on a cure as fast as possible on many sleepless nights to cure those who'd been affected, when another part felt guilty for not being there for her family. And the longer she'd been holing herself away in her workplace, the harder it became to face those she'd been missing yet dreading to see. There was this voice in the back of her head telling her that her family would be perfectly fine without her anyways, since she couldn't leave her job at - what the rest saw as - the traitor company. A voice that amplified with each and every day that passed.

It wasn't until Javier's appearance at her desk she came to the realization how wrong she'd been. How that inner voice could manipulate her train of thoughts entirely. Especially after the strong lack of sleep. He'd convinced her enough to get out of the building and come see her family she'd longed to check up on ever since the swarm broke out. With regret she'd gotten on the back of his bike, clinging to him like her life depended on it, but glad about the change of scenery. She'd asked Javier to drive her to Santiago first, where he'd dropped her off for them to have some privacy.

Her legs had been shaking when the motorcycle came to a halt in front of Santi's place. The palms of her hands sweaty and wiped off at her pants, well - an attempt to. With a grateful wave and smile she'd watched Javier drive off until his figure was out of sight. Another excuse to just wait outside a little longer before gathering enough courage to bring herself to his front door. Her knock on the door had been subtle, like it always was. And when the door opened... After the weeks that passed - she barely dared to ask. A smile formed on her lips, one that never reached her eyes. Eyes that showed exhaustion from working all the over hours. ''Hi....'' she managed to bring out hoarsely, always checking up on others first ''...how have you been, Santi?'' Wanting to asking so many questions at once, she swallowed down the lump in her throat that was forming the longer she gazed into his eyes. Her voice a mere whisper when her lips parted again, the smile fading by a tremble.

''Can I get a hug?......I feel like I haven't been hugged in so long...''

[dreamcr]

Her mind wasn't there. There was a buzzing resonating inside her head, yet it didn't sound anything like the swarm that had caused panic to settle over town. A different kind of buzzing that usually simmered in the background, but by the severe lack of sleep now made itself more noticeable to the foreground in between her temples. An unladylike grunt fell from her lips when she rubbed her eyes and closed them for a second - desperately longing for some shut-eye.

But she couldn't. She tiredly told herself that when the first thing her eyes landed on was the coffee mug when she opened them again. If it weren't for her own personal porcelain coffee mug, there'd be stacks upon stacks of paper coffee cups on her desk right now obviously showing how she'd been here ever since the breakout. Instead the only signs of her long stay were written on her face. Dark eyes for days, a paler shade of skin, a nervously trembling eyelid every now and then, not to speak about what was going on behind her eyes. A migraine having its ups and downs. The last couple of days she'd noticed a light shaking of her hands as well, something she'd been trying to hide.

At first she didn't quite notice the voice talking was directed towards her, not until she caught a figure walking towards her from the corner of her eye. When her slower-than-usual reaction time recognized the figure as her own brother, she was back to being wide awake again and shot up from her chair. ''Javi -'' there was a crack present in her voice, half his name got muffled by her own breath. Surprised by his presence, she cleared her throat and swallowed. Trying again, ''Javi......'' what a surprise, she wanted to say, but a different matter came to mind faster than light, ''....how'd you get in here?'' Part of her already knew the answer, obviously he got in by breaking rules. Bribing a guard, finding a way to sneak in, maybe even Sera...?

She followed his gaze towards the other scientists, considering how easily they could rat him out, she grabbed her mug and gestured for him to walk with her towards a kitchen area where they'd have some more privacy. ''What are you doing here?'' Her voice hushed as she walked close by his side, nearly touching arms, ''did Sera tell you to check up on me? Cause I'm fine, Javi....I swear I'm fine.'' An answer that ironically ran in the family, always deflecting about one self but caring always about the other. Pushing a button for more coffee, it's only then she realized how much time had passed. ''How is everyone? I wanted to check up more but then- I don't know... it's been a lot here.''

Closed for @dreamcr | Javier & Amelia @ the Afterglow Compound

Even as far back as childhood, Amelia and Javier seemed to be polar opposites. She was closest in age to him and yet was one he was least able to connect with. Without saying it outright, he knew that she frowned upon his behaviors - his rebellious streak in childhood and his poor habits in adulthood. She made smart, calculated decisions and he didn't think much before he leapt.

But she was still his sister.

If he had to make a guess, she wasn't able (or perhaps she wasn't willing, even) to sneak away from work like Sera was. She had likely been pulled into the efforts in concocting an antidote and had been head down at her desk for, at this point, who even knew how long. Seeing that the protests had blocked the entrance and made it difficult - if even impossible - to leave even if she wanted to, Javier was willing to bet she'd made the compound her temporary home since the swarm had descended upon Burnington.

He assumed she was okay but he hadn't even seen her since before all of this started going down, not to mention her car was gathering dust in the shop...

So he'd pushed his way through the crowd that still seemed to be gathered outside the building, perhaps at a slightly further distance (clearly the antidote wasn't all they demanded), and found his way to her typical quarters. When he spots her, he clears his throat. "You do know you're not being held prisoner in here, right? You are allowed to leave, get some fresh air, maybe grab dinner with tu familia. Or...Are you being held prisoner?" He pauses, glancing around at the faces of the other scientists still busting about. His voice lowers. "You know I'm more than happy to break you out. Blink twice for yes, or something."

[dreamcr]

maybe there was never a DEMON, maybe it was just me DREAMING, and now i can't escape this FEELING

CHARACTER BASICS.

FULL NAME: amelia ‘’lia’’ diaz muñoz GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis woman, she/her AGE & BIRTHDAY: 40, october 28th WHERE DO THEY LIVE: burnington FACTION: afterglow ( science ) OCCUPATION: researcher ( microbiologist ) STRENGTHS: soft spoken, patient, sympathetic, selfless, imaginative  WEAKNESSES: dissociative, anxious, workaholic, overthinking, naive  FACECLAIM: odette annable WANTED CONNECTION: filling the santiago sibling wanted connection 

DIGGING DEEPER.

TW: internalized homophobia

having been born into the big muñoz family, there has never been a shortage of love to the newly born sister amelia diaz muñoz. it was esmerelda’s warmth that embraced the girl and alberto’s strength that she inherited. muñoz blood proudly coursed through her veins, beat in that tender heart behind her ribcage with every second that passed. it made her grow stronger everyday, the love that was shared in overflow in the family.    

from a young age, it’d been clear amelia had been a parent pleaser, wanted to do everything right and most of all; be a good girl. anxiety of doing wrong engraved itself into her bones ever since she can remember. out of all her dear siblings, she felt the closest to constanza when they were still young, only a year apart and both finding their hearts beating for a mutual love of nature. a two-sided love she felt fade into one when constanza chose a path of destruction and amelia didn’t oblige to tag along. amelia’s strong love for mother earth resided in her heart even when she often at times felt like she remained the only child in the household that did. gravitating from one sibling to the other over the years, it were her parents she felt the most loyal to in the end. when good grades were expected of her, when the household needed a proper cleanup, when a family gathering was to be prepared, it was all she could focus on. with a big family as theirs, it was easy to become invisible at times as both a middle child and a woman who had no aspirations to follow into her father’s footsteps. Her interest lay in nature and especially its wildlife.

as one sibling rebelled after the other, amelia remained the good girl she was and stayed home with having no aim of leaving out of spite or other ill intentions. even if being a good girl meant suppressing her own freedom, the cost of her own happiness: throughout the years amelia noticed herself differentiating from other girls her age, having almost no interest in men, there were no strong (if at all, realized with time passing by) romantic feelings involved when she dated men and only kept them around to seem like she was. in the end she’d blame it on herself (which technically wasn’t a lie) when she broke it off, writing him off to her family as not ‘the one’, when deep down she knew no man would ever be the one for her. deep deep down only amelia knows that she’ll never be into men the way she is into women, a secret she’s kept to herself until present day. she’s a closeted lesbian, afraid to disappoint her mami mostly even though santiago is openly out and their mother hasn’t loved him any less.

after years of studying science, her knowledge about wildlife didn’t go unnoticed by superiors. amelia diaz muñoz got recruited to work as a researcher, specifically microbiology, for afterglow. a recruitment that certainly got celebrated by her parents because their daughter’s talent got recognized by, what seemed in their eyes, a higher deity. amelia has been working as a microbiologist at afterglow ever since, often drowning herself in work and getting home late (a way of coping with her inner demons, avoiding her past boyfriends or siblings when confrontation was necessary and overthink at times). 

when santi shared his findings about afterglow/eea’s shady business, amelia’s first reaction was to shut down internally and find it hard to choose between ‘good and bad’ when in her reality it meant losing the one thing that kept her sane in her day to day life. her job was her whole life, there was no doubt about that. unable to leave the company, in fear of losing herself, she kept santi’s secret to herself, as long as she was still accepted as family for her ‘betrayal’ to loyally remain active at the company. though fearing to having to choose between her family or job one day, wishing everyday today would not be that day.                      

EXTRAS.

family / connections santiago diaz muñoz - oldest brother benedicto diaz muñoz - older brother constanza diaz muñoz - older sister javier diaz muñoz - younger brother serafina diaz muñoz - younger sister lindsay o’halloran - brother in law maisie o’halloran - nibling

wanted connections or plots the one that got away - a woman she once met in her life (could be childhood friends, school best friends, university roommates, colleagues or anything else) that has made a lasting impression on amelia’s heart, but she’s been too much of a coward to ever speak of those feelings. as a closeted lesbian, amelia’s never told anyone she’s actually into women and continually dated men (though keeping them at bay enough). this woman could’ve admitted her feelings to amelia and expected a good ending (‘i know you feel it too…’) to which amelia reacted by shutting down and leaving/running off in flight. or they could’ve both been too scared to admit their feelings and still be stuck in the friendzone, if they haven’t grown apart yet. the trusted one - someone that’s her ride or die, someone she’s trusted for years and worked closely with if they happen to work at afterglow too, someone outside of her family she trusts with her life.

headcanons - after father’s passing, amelia’s heart broke not just for herself and her siblings but especially for their loving mami. She couldn’t watch mother live by herself, in a constant reminder of what was once a home full of celebrations, laughter and love (conveniently pushing away the lesser times), so she did what amelia always did when her family needed help and took it upon herself (for both selfless and selfish reasons) to take their mami into her home in burnington. - when connie got into prison, amelia couldn’t bear it to visit her more than once, finding it hard to accept her sister’s cruel fate. even though her time in prison was short lived, amelia had a hard time finding forgiveness for leaving her at all when they were younger. cue to years later, it’s when her sister’s pregnant they reunite stronger than ever, their bond’s grown bigger and amelia (along with their mami) has helped her sister raise her daughter nora ever since. - however much emotion amelia shows, she keeps her deepest pain, grief and secrets to herself behind closed doors. the aftermaths of breakdowns held in isolation are hidden behind a mask that carries a smile, working over hours and putting herself last, always. even though love is a big understatement for how much is shared in the muñoz household, after all those years self-love is something amelia struggles with the most.