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dream 08.30.23

i had a dream that i got an venti iced coffee from Starbucks but someone also gave me a latte, so i chugged half of the iced coffee and dumped the latte into the rest of it. in the dream i felt over caffeinated, which is not something i have felt before in a dream.

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dream 06.09.23

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dream 09.10.22

i was rushing a sorority and it was a mostly black sorority sometimes. at one point we had to vote for people to be chairs of things for the big rush party. so like if someone wanted to be the chair of music, to the marijuana chair. but if you nominated yourself then you had to pay $25 but that would go toward your eventual dues anyway. also the event was happening in this rental venue/house that is always the rental house in my dreams. anyway at one point i was running around trying to take a shower and change into my outfit (funky capris with a green crop top and thick sandals) and all the bathrooms were taken. and this house has so many bathrooms. but after trying my fifth bathroom i was like “this is a dream i can just be showered and changed all of a sudden” and so i was. then my friend sierra from college saw my random leg tattoos and was like “i love the portrait of the woman with flowers” and then showed me her leg tattoos that were meat diagrams of sausage links and stuff. (sierra is vegetarian in real life). then the sorority announced the party was starting and that if we needed weed at any time, there would be 2 people manning a table where you could come with cash or check and they’d call the weed delivery guy for you. but they didn’t take “bicycle checks”. 

then in the banquet hall it was really random family (jeff bridges was someone’s dad) and a few sisters and by the time i got up the stairs, they were cheersing with pink rosé but i couldn’t find my seat or a clean flute. a lot of people were outside and there were huge bins of garbage under the tables. i saw my other freshman roommate and sat next to her and one of the sisters was like “the next sister who comes on…. don’t ask her her name, she’s lady gaga.” and then this woman comes out singing a gospel song with the most awful warble-y off key voice and grace and i are trying so hard to contain our laughter. then i notice there are bibles strewn about and i’m like oh it’s sunday. so a man with a mic comes out and he’s a rapping pastor (white guy). and he has barack obama’s head airbrushed on the back of his jacket. and he brings out a bunch of HUUUUGE muscle dudes with those terrible tattoos that young rappers get now where it’s just a color doodle here and there. and i guess they’re supposed to scare us… christian? but i just keep making fun of the guy at our table. and then i think that’s when i woke up. also i spent a lot of the dream replacing lightbulbs on a string of christmas lights. 

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05.24.22

The night was full of different dreams.

In the first dream, a montage of a woman named Katie getting rejected by the same guy over and over again. He would offer her a date, she would show up, and he would just not arrive. Then he would act like she was crazy for thinking there was going to be a date. Finally, she realized the idiocy of it and moved on, and met a man who loved her. In seconds I saw her life go by- marriage, kids, they grew old. It came time for them to die, together. In this world, you can meet with those who have passed on but it happens miles under the sea. Katie’s mother survived them so she built a restaurant in a giant submarine under the water, so that when she was at work managing the lunch shift, the ghost of Katie and her husband could stop by. In the dream, the ghost of Katie said “Mom, I have an important message. You need to listen closely.” Her mom knew that they were nearing the end of their allowed visits. “Write the message in your journal,” her mom said. “Write specifically in there that it is a message for me. They will send me a video of it.” She didn’t want to hear her daughter’s goodbye, if that’s what the message was.

Later, I was on a riverboat cruise in Panama. A family had purchased a huge suite but had two unused beds so they rented them to me and a friend. I woke to the dream not knowing where I was, just that there was water and a child playing nearby. When I opened my eyes, there was a dark haired toddler playing in a windowsill at the foot of my bed. It was an interior window that led into a sunroom, where I could see a hazy red light pouring in through the windows and on to a navy blue velvet couch, which stretched the length of the giant suite. The child startled at my wakening and ran into the sunroom. I yelled after him that he could keep playing - I was getting up anyway. I ventured into the sunroom and kept walking until I hit the table where the family was eating. They motioned for me to join. I sat next to the mother, a beautiful woman with curly dark hair. She gave me a dish of a dip that looked like a creamy black bean dip and tasted like onions and chives, but a bit sweet. I loved it. At the table were a man and an older woman, his mother I presumed. The child kept running about. I spoke with them for a while until I was approached by a riverboat attendant. She told me that I had been summoned by the Knife Sharpening Guild to have dinner with them. If I pleased them with my company I could stay on the cruise. If I did not, they could choose any punishment including death. I got excited. Of course they would be delighted with me! I went to the walk in closet to change. I was looking for a form fitting red dress that I knew I had brought but it was nowhere to be seen. The attendant helped me put my hair in an updo using two beautiful jade hairpins. My best friend was already ready. She was Taylor Swift if she had never gotten famous, and wore a blouse tucked into an off-white tulle knee length skirt. She had dozens of cool leg tattoos. I asked her if she had seen my red dress and she said no, then bid me farewell to attend her own dinner. I kept searching for the dress until I woke up. I never got to meet the Knife Sharpeners Guild, this time around.

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last night i dreamt that i was naked in a coffee shop and i asked for a double espresso in sparkling water with bitters and a squeeze of lemon. they gave me a 20 oz soda water in a plastic cup and i was happy.

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dream 07.15.21

I had a dream that I was going into a public library in Portland but when I walked in there were security officers and medics running to a homeless man who was on the floor between shelves (and it smelled really bad, so that answers my question about if I have smelled in dreams. So I went back outside but a group of like gamer punk kids were like “its always like this you just have to walk past it” so I went in with them and I suddenly had two HUGE white and pink stuffed bears. Like one was almost as big as me. And I was wearing an Ariana grande concert outfit (sweetener era) but like from Marshalls so I looked terrible. The library was huge and I was getting so many books but then I realized I didn’t have a library card and each section of books had its own check out station, so I had to go all the way back to the front for my card, and on the way there a man with a fake sword started attacking a woman so I ran for help and then he started to attack me too and whenever one of us started to run he would go after that person. i screamed for help and another man came running but instead of helping he wanted to get in on attacking us. Eventually I got his sword AND an oyster shucking knife from the floor. Then I woke up.

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dream 07.06.21

at one point i was in a harbor and a pod of giant whales were smiling and waving and singing to people on a big boat painted like a whale. then one whale realized the boat was a sham and got mad, and started chasing the boat.

later, i was in a large stone building shaped like a big mausoleum. it was an art history class with theater seating and the only windows to the outdoors were slats high up on the wall above the projector. maggie smith was the professor and i was the only student in attendance. it was night, and we suddenly saw fireworks right outside of the building. we were shocked because they are banned this year. in the dream it all connected, but this was a stalker i had had for years (i’ve never had a stalker) and they were trying to scare me out of my class. later, i was on the top floor of a chateau with a room that had a wide terrace. i turned around and there was an IED device strapped to my pikachu (a live one, i guess) and once it hit the last 5 seconds the device was removable so i risked it and saved my pikachu by throwing the device out beyond the terrace. right after that, a barbie pink le creuset dutch oven was transported onto my roof - it was supposed to be sneaky. i have no idea what purpose it served but i knew the stalker was doing it so i yelled “I CAN SEE YOU” and the le creuset went away. but it was replaced by a small buzzing drone whose wings were made of blades. it chased me inside and i was tired of being chased so i caught it and it mangled my hand, but it didn’t hurt. the body of the drone looked like a yellow cartoon platypus. i popped off the battery cover once it had been disabled, and there was a suspicious looking thumbdrive inside which i took out. i don’t remember the rest. 

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06.20.21

in the dream i was in harry potter and someone was trying to pull an elaborate prank by telling people that activities were scheduled 1 hour before they were actually scheduled, or a day before, so that they would think the organizer had forgotten them and eventually everyone would hate the organizer of the activities. i think it was harry they were trying to get everyone to hate? voldemort’s most elaborate ruse.

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06.19.21

Had very vivid dreams all night and I wish I could remember the remainder of them. At one point I was a part of a family coming back to their rural ancestral home. There was a brick farmhouse at the top of the hill where some people lived but most of the rooms needed renovating. Anyway we had to take care of the chickens so a few of us stayed in a shack near the chicken coop. there was a row of shacks and sheds that were all connected and had a slat wood roof over the dirt hallway between them and the L- shaped row of chicken coops. In the center of the L was a pecking ground that was also covered. 

At one point the character Bee from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (or maybe just a young Blake Lively?) was me and I was a non-participant. But her/my (i took over her perspective) dad was an agent of some kind and we couldn’t make contact. Someone we knew was a psychic but didn’t really know how to utilize their powers. They seemed to think something was going on with one of the neighboring shacks. Bee/me entered that shack and saw that there was a large woman and a skinny man asleep in the living room. It looked like they had been cooking m*th for a while there. In what would have been a dining room but had not been furnished, her/my dad lay on the ground face down in front of an explosive device that was simply a stock pot. Inside of the stock pot was his standard issue firearm, a reusable phone battery, and some smoke coming out. For some reason I knew that the couple had made the device and had knocked my dad out and then knocked themselves out in some way or another. 

Luckily the dad was lithe. I picked him up by the strap on his bulletproof vest and booked it out of there. I tried to move the device also but i couldn’t do both. I heard the device go off, and shortly thereafter then entire coop complex leveled around us. It went slowly and solidly, and no one was hurt. I was happy to know we would be moving to the brick house with a big green door and stained glass in some of the windows.

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06.14.21

I remember two things from my dream last night. 

1) I cursed out a child and felt very confident in my decision to do that. 

2) I walked into a room filled with bugs and other vermin, and watched a flying scorpion eat a spider. 

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dream 05.20.21

I had a very detailed dream where I saw all of my loved ones brutally slaughtered in front of me. Then I was on a large boat trying to navigate it out of a busy canal. 

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dream 04.29.21

one of my ex boyfriends from college had large bold tattoos on his forearms and forehead. he put questions for me in a google doc, and my current boyfriend and i answered them together.

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dream 04.15.21

my dad had convinced me to take a long flight, which is something he does in real life. flying is my biggest fear and its always a struggle to get me to agree to go on a long trip, but my dad always convinces me by choosing great destinations and paying for my ticket.

in the dream, he had reasoned that this was for a milestone birthday, so i was going with him. this flight was to outer space. it was a crossover project between delta and NASA. i fluxed between excited and scared shitless. we sat in the plane as it moved slowly down a long, long tarmac. everyone on the plane buzzed with excitement. finally, i thought, we were coming to the point of takeoff. the plane surged forward but then swerved from side to side. “Ladies and gentlemen this is the flight deck speaking. We cannot take off safely unless 1/3 of you hold your tray tables up.” everyone freaks out and starts holding their tray tables. the announcement chimes again. “ladies and gentlemen, that was our lead flight attendant--she was just joking. she hates the sound of the tray tables rattling. we will take off safely with or without you holding them.” everyone seemed to think this was hilarious. 

we never took off. instead, we rolled up to a station and were put on a conveyor belt. in front of me was a giant old sheep hanging in a harness and bleating at me. it went through the scanner and moved forward. there were ARMY guys at different checkpoints moving us forward. i was ushered to an open layout bathroom and instructed to use white and black silicone scrubbers and ARMY issued foaming soap to wash myself at a sink. more and more people filtered in and were passing around the scrubbers as they were in short supply. apparently we couldn’t bring our germs to space. 

the bathroom quickly became filthy. even though i got there first, i let more people go ahead of me. my nerves were taking over and i thought maybe the shuttle would just take off without me if i was too late and hadn’t washed. maybe they wouldn’t hold it for me. my dad would be disappointed. my dad would be disappointed, but i would be drastically lowering my chances of death by shuttle explosion. but how could i pass up the opportunity to have my entire perspective shifted by seeing the earth from far, far away? what if i didn’t want my perspective shifted? what if i couldn’t deal with that monumental change when i got back to earth, thereby ruining the remainder of my life? why hadn’t i thought about all of this before? 

as i oscillated between nerves and the urge to be adventurous, my computer popped up on the bathroom sink. my brother was facetiming me. i couldn’t pick up. i had to pee. the dream ended. 

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dream 04.02.21

i was in an old house in the middle of a graveyard cleaning out a closet when i found a posthumously released Mac Miller album that was all about grandmas. Each song was dedicated to a different grandma. 

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dream 03.28.21

last night my dream was a remake of that awful Julia Roberts movie, My Best Friends Wedding. I’ve never seen the whole thing but that was essentially the concept that was going on. But the Julia Roberts part was played by a young black actress and her character was like important in politics or American security or something. 

it’s the end of the wedding and the bride (who, oddly enough, looks like a dollar store Julia Roberts at times) is supposed to be singing a song to her husband at the reception when she chokes. like, not literal choking but she gets panicked and can’t sing. and the best friend woman who is jealous of her is obviously feeling some vindication, when then bride asks for her. she keeps saying “Julie? Get me Julie.” (yes the Julia Roberts character has creatively been renamed Julie in my dream. to be fair, she was named Julianne in the movie).

It turns out she had heard about some potential terrorist activity in the area and was scared out of her mind. she was trying to play it cool for the sake of the wedding but couldn’t take it anymore. apparently she was pretty important, but like in a princess-who-needs-saving kind of way. so at this point i become Julie and i’m no longer watching everything unfold and i’m watching all of the action from her perspective. i take the brides arm and lead her to an unmarked car. we talk everything over (allegedly, i remember no words). we had revealed a mole in the network just days earlier so we thought there was nothing to worry about. her head of security and his assistant are with us on the way to the safe hold. 

we walk into the enormous safe hold building with two elevators that are across from one another. julie steps into one, and i am about to follow. i ask her head of security (played by Martin Starr) if he will be joining us. he keeps opening his mouth to pop his ears. he indicates that he will be using the other elevator to get to the basement and smiles. i wait for his elevator doors to close, and grab Julie to run outside. 

Martin Starr, head of security, was another mole, and he was going to kill her once we got to the safe space away from witnesses. (and probably me, too). he kept popping his ears because he had just been in a country witnessing a lot of explosions and he had lost some of his hearing. it was his tell. that’s all i remember.

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dream 03.23.22

the young man with bright white hair whispered “any.. anything”

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dream 03.22.21

Last night one part of my dream was that I was walking around a sharp corner of a paved road. A small smart car was zipping toward me and at the same time a mini pony saw something blowing across the road and started chasing it. The car was able to swerve in time, but the mini pony got stuck in a ditch. everyone in the neighborhood mobilized to get to pony out of the ditch. they were getting a surf board ready to use as a stretcher. it was my job to make sure no one came down the road. i ran up ahead and the top of the road was a full parking lot, which was gated. i stood in front of the open gates and blocked traffic. one man was in a burgundy 4x4 SUV and was kind of pissed that he had to wait. when the pony was finally rescued, he parked and got out of his car, and a person in a horse costume ran up and started hitting him with a wiffle ball bat.