dreaming-by-starlight - Tumblr blog

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Hello my dear Customers~

Today should be the day you ALL buy a Thneed!!

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CUNNING CHESS MASTER: *moves a piece* the game is afoot.

FOOT FETISHIST CHESS MASTER:*gets a boner so hard it shakes the table* the gange is a wuh

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wdym u don't want to hire the burnt out tranny that doesn't wanna work

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BORN TO FORGET

WORLD IS A BLUR

I Am Memory Issues Man

410,757,864,530 FORGOTTEN PRECIOUS MEMORIES

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studio trigger understood the assignment. i would let her wreck me.

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I’m putting in my too weak notice.

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most notable times of being hit on by customers:

guy who tried to impress me with card tricks and failed every single one of them

old man who attempted to get my number when his wife walked away and slipped me his email address ending with “@ aol.com” when i said i don’t do that

cute gay couple that came back to tell me i was cute and then called the shop to ask me out

older professor who i talked to about folklore and told me he dressed as a wizard for recitals saying “this is really embarrassing but umm.. i’d love to get to know you more..” and gave me a receipt with his email address on it

dude in his 40s asking me on a movie date and me saying yes but then he kept starting text conversations with “ahoi hoi”

military guy who said it’d be hot if i killed him with a baseball bat

most notable time a customer did not ask me out:

a man who i knew had a wife and children getting really flustered and saying “um. ive been, uh.. idk if you remember me but um. i come in here a lot and ive uhhh haha umm ive been wanting to ask you for a couple weeks now.. um. have you read the green lantern issue i recommended??????”

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the cursed armor you can never take off once you put it on stays ON during sex. due to the aforementioned curse.

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Did the Krampus offer a way out of the White Space?

No.

[dreaming-by-starlight]

Did the Krampus offer a way out of the White Space?

No.

[dreaming-by-starlight]

Did the Krampus offer a way out of the White Space?

No.