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dreamlaunchcoaching-blog · 6 years

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To the Bullied

To the Bullied,

No matter if you be man, woman, or child. You have had something taken away from you. You have had to experience cowards attack you in words and actions. You have had your value, confidence and self-worth ripped from you. Yet there is something you might not realize, something you might not be aware of. You are far stronger, more intelligent, more empathetic and powerful than you realize. I know you feel that you are weak, that you lack the ability to fight back. I know the words and taunts can dehumanize you. I understand the feelings of isolation and worthlessness. Please don't listen to those feelings. You are far more important, far more valued than you realize. There are an incredible number of people that care for and about you. I know it is hard to be aware of that because of the actions of one or two ignorant cowards. You might not realize this, but they attack you because they fear you. They attack you because they see a strength in you that they lack. They see something beautiful and special about you and they are jealous. Yet rather than trying to emulate you, they have decided to seek that one weakness you have so they can exploit it and build up themselves at your expense.

You could be bullied in the schoolyard, shame on your teachers for being so weak and powerless to let it continue. You could be bullied at college, evidence that others grow up ignorant. You could be bullied at work and feel absolutely hopeless. No matter what, no matter where it's not you. It is not your fault. You are simply the target of the weaknesses of cowards.

I would love to say “ignore it”, “pay them no mind, its just words”, “get over it”. But I can't, and won't. It is impossible to ignore bullying when the bullies steal your value and make you question your own worth. Anyone who says words don't hurt is an absolute idiot! Words hurt far greater than any physical assault, they linger longer and cut deeper. No, Those are the words and responses of people who have never been bullied. Those are the words of people who don't understand and are powerless to help you.

But there is help, there is support. This is not your fault. You don't deserve this. And you are not alone, approximately 3.2 million students are bullied, that is just students, there are no surveys about adults. There are a multitude of organizations, some of them are linked here, that will help you. I don't have a magic solution to heal you. I was bullied as a child as well and admit the emotional and mental damage it caused me. You can heal, you can overcome. If you believe, you will find the strength and power to rise above those emotionally stunted, weak cowards who gain validation and power stealing happiness and joy from people they perceive as weak. You know...bullies.

Please stay strong, please allow yourself to heal. You are allowed to be happy, you are allowed to find joy and peace in life. You are stronger than you realize, and my hope is that you can find that strength within yourself. Remember, more people care about you than you know. More people love you than you know.

Links:

https://www.kidscape.org.uk/advice/advice-for-parents-and-carers/supporting-a-bullied-child/

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/bullies.html

https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-bullying

https://www.girlshealth.gov/bullying/stopping/seeing.html

https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-kids/how-to-help-a-friend-being-bullied/

https://www.bustle.com/articles/116010-6-things-not-to-say-to-someone-whos-being-bullied

#bully #bullying #notavictim #happiness #empowerment

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dreamlaunchcoaching-blog · 6 years

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Synergize Attraction and Action

There is a lot of talk about the law of attraction. I’ve had clients ask me about it, if it works and if I believe in it. Wanting to offer an honest answer, I thought a lot about the law of attraction and yes, I do believe in it. But not exclusively nor independently. I get that by talking about the law of attraction we are entering the realm of either faith in God or new ageism. Both are topics that most people roll their eyes at and try not to laugh when we bring them up.

Personally, I believe in God and attribute the law of attraction to conviction and faith, for those that choose to believe otherwise, go for it. I don't judge. The law of attraction is a powerful force connecting both our subconscious and rational mind to an external ability to attract to what we really want in life. Simply speaking, through our thoughts, beliefs, convictions, and attitudes, we attract what we want and deserve from the universe-however you define that.

It sounds simple and in that simplicity, it is also easy to disprove. Say to yourself “I want ten million dollars by tomorrow”, well, when you wake up and realize you haven't received that ten million it is absolute proof that the law of attraction doesn't work and that I, and coaches like me, are full of shit. Wrong dude (or dudette-however you identify). We are not wrong, you did it wrong. And yes, it is that harsh.

The Law of Attraction works but it does not work alone, it is not simply thinking of something and poof, there it is. That's wishful thinking and hopefully, we all outgrew that about the time we hit puberty.

There are a few steps that must be taken for the law of attraction to work. But once you take these steps, you will be amazed at how powerful and transformative this force can be in your life.

The first step in making the law of attraction work for you is mental. You must program your subconscious that you are capable and deserving of the good that you wish you attract. Too many people work the opposite way, they invite misfortune, misery, and unhappiness into their lives. The fact that they are so unhappy should show that the law of attraction does work. If you think you are unworthy, if you think you don't deserve any good fortune or blessings, you aint gonna get any. Once you heal that pain and program your mind to truly believe that you do deserve good fortune, that you are fully capable of achieving your dreams then your situation will begin to change.

Once you have successfully programmed your mind to explore the positive and remove the negative, you must start visualizing. Close your eyes and see the new life you are living. The one where you have gained everything through the law of attraction. Visualize the feeling of driving your new car, paying off your debts, looking at your bank account and seeing multiple commas. Visualize the freedom your achievement and success bring to you. Feel it, smell it, taste it. Make it as real as possible. Let your heart race at the very thought of it.

It is vitally important to connect this feeling to your subconscious. Your rational mind is easily deceived. Your rational mind also fears risk and chance. It was designed to seek safety and security. To connect to the law of attraction you must go deeper and explore your subconscious. This is where your essence exists. This is where your emotions and impulses live. This is also where you sabotage yourself. Your rational mind might think you deserve success. Your rational mind might know you are fully capable of achieving your dreams. None of that matters if your subconscious doesn't believe it.

When you self-sabotage, when you give up and quit, there is a great chance it could be your subconscious rejecting success because you´ve allowed it to be programmed to believe it does not deserve anything better. This condition is brought to you by society, your past, your youth experiences, scars and pains that get in the way of your happiness. A deep, dark part of your mind believes you don't deserve happiness and success and ensures that you always go out of your way to destroy it. I know, I used to be that person. I don't want you to become who I was. You do deserve happiness and success. You do deserve to achieve your dreams. One of the key breakthroughs I focus on with my clients is helping them heal that darkness and embrace the fact that they, and you, deserve to achieve your goals.

If you have overcome your negative thinking, embraced visualization and reprogrammed your mind, congratulations, you are well on your way to achieving your goals and dreams through the law of attraction. But you are only half way there. As much as I wish it was different, it’s not enough to simply program and visualize. You must synergize attraction with another law...action.

The Law of Action is quite simply getting off your ass and doing the work. But action by itself is not going to result in success. There are plenty of hardworking people who act, who put in the time and sacrifice and follow all the steps yet don't achieve their goals and dreams. Remember that note about self-sabotage? There are millions of us who do that. We put in the work, go through the motions yet deep down we don't believe we are capable, we don't think we can be victorious. These thoughts cause us to give pause and in those moments that mean the difference between success and failure, we hesitate, fail and embrace the cycle of defeat.

To transform your life, you have to embrace both laws. Visualize, program your subconscious and act. It is only then that you will start seeing changes. And once you do, those positive changes in your life will become a tsunami of positive growth and transformation.

Every person who has changed the world or achieved all their dreams has embraced both laws. Even if they don't realize it, they did. They believed at that subconscious level that they were capable and deserving of success, they took the chances that others were not willing to take and then acted. There is nothing different between them and you beyond their willingness to believe they deserved their success and their willingness to act and to make it happen. It's time for you to get off your ass and make it happen! Let's do it together.

#law of attraction #action #transform #empowerment #success #dreams

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dreamlaunchcoaching-blog · 6 years

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Embrace Your Warrior Spirit

Civilization was built through war. We are born with an instinct to fight, to conquer our enemies and protect those we care about. From our earliest times, we celebrated the warrior. From Ancient Egyptian and Greek warriors to the Samurai and Ninja to their modern brethren Navy SEALs and DELTA Force. Yet within society today we are in the middle of a movement to reject the warrior, the idea of the fight and self-protection. Society wants us helpless, feeling like victims scared and dependent upon others.

This is counter to our instincts and DNA. We are born to fight, not to be belligerent but to fight in defense of what we believe in, our values and what we feel is right and wrong. Yet society tells us that evil and wrong don’t exist, that we are evolving beyond good and bad, we are evolving beyond our instincts. If someone embraces a warrior´s mentality they are wrong, toxic, offensive and have no place in modern civilization.

And this “society” that is pushing us towards such destruction. It's all around us. Affecting every aspect of our lives without us realizing it. And it wants us weak and needy. It wants us dependent upon it for solutions to our problems, to uplift our spirits, give us purpose and meaning, sell us products to define our lives, justify our actions and help us avoid responsibility.

These societal forces that work against us:

- Marketing, which seeks to define happiness in our lives. Marketing wants to create desires for material things which we need to make our lives complete. In the process, driving us into deeper levels of debt to the point where we are beholden to finance companies and banks to buy more of the stuff marketing says we need.

- Corporations, which seek to turn us into indentured servants. Expecting us to trade our souls for a pittance of silver. In return for giving up our happiness and dreams, blinded by illusions of safety and stability, we get turned into expendable assets to be used as a monetization process when the company struggles. Corporations limit option and competition, control information and communication, are in bed with government and continuously invade more of our lives through doors we leave open.

- Big Psychology, which seeks to keep us weak and needy. Big psychology wants us to focus on our past, pain and damage to remain victims. It wants us to dwell on why we are weak, not how we are strong and can overcome.

- Big Pharma, which wants to sell us drugs to make our lives better, remove our pain, eliminate our anxiety, cure our depression and in all ways keep us sedated. The opioid crisis in America right now is directly attributed to Big Pharma.

- Big Education, which wants to mold our children, not into free thinkers but mindless servants of the state. Big Education willingly suppresses original ideas, free speech, and dissenting views. Big Education reinforces the idea that we are powerless victims and need to be protected from ideas that might make us uncomfortable.

- Social media, which has become the new promotion of the sins of envy, gluttony, wraith, deception, lust, and vanity. The lives we post on social media are generally lies and illusions yet create a sense of emptiness and isolation in our followers.

- Government, which is continuously extending its reach into our private lives. The power of government is the sense that we need it rather than it needing us. Government wants us powerless and dependent upon it for our lives. This is not a left or right point but the structure of government and those who enter it seeking power through the “public good”.

Through these entities, society is working as hard as possible to remove our strength and encouraging us to celebrate our weakness. This is all counter to our natural instincts. We were born to be strong, to be warriors, to stand and fight for what we believe.

We are created by God to stand out from the crowd, to embrace our innate gifts and abilities. But what we are given from God is often mocked and diminished in society. Society presents so many dangers, battles and attacks on us and we need to strengthen ourselves, arm ourselves and fight back. We need to protect ourselves from these attacks, we need to create a source of hope, of an ideal that we aspire to.

We need to embrace our inner warrior. We need to go beyond a warrior mantra (which is powerful on its own) and create our internal warrior-our Warrior Spirit-that all powerful, courageous, unstoppable force that can overcome all adversaries.

If you believe in God, you know prayer lifts your soul and provides solace in times of turmoil. If you embrace new ageism you believe a spirit animal exists to guide and protect you. But who fights your inner battles of envy, anger, rage or self-doubt? I´ve prayer yet still struggled, then I´ve sent my warrior spirit into battle with those negative emotions and was victorious.

These emotional enemies “The Emo 4 Horsemen”: fear, self-doubt, limitations, and the feeling of being powerless, are powerfully destructive forces waging constant attacks on our beliefs and mental strength. They sense weakness and attack it in droves. They are reinforced externally through society and will “Sweep the leg” if given the chance. They can destroy us. And the solutions society offers do not protect against these forces, these societal solutions distract, numb and confuse us until we can’t tell the difference anymore. Our protection, our ability to fight back comes from within us. From our warrior spirits.

Society, in all its destructive influence, has left us soft-susceptible to its suggestions and ill-equipped to fight back. It doesn’t want us strong, it wants us meek and submissive to its distractions. We must reject this reality for ourselves. We must explore, create and unleash our individual, unique power. Our warrior spirits and fight back. For if this is war, we need warriors. They exist in all of us, screaming to be free and protect us. Let them loose.

#warrior #strength #battle #victory #emotion #innerstrength

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dreamlaunchcoaching-blog · 6 years

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The Destructive Limits of “Cant”

The Destructive Limitations of “Can't”

I hear it multiple times a day from friends and clients. “I can't do it”. Doesn't matter what “it” is. It can't be done. It drives me crazy. I admit I used to be that way. I had an incredibly negative outlook on life. Of course, at the time I didn't think I was negative, I thought I was being honest and realistic. I was lying to myself. I was putting limitations on my potential. I believed I couldn't do something, that I was not one of those chosen few. I killed opportunities because I didn't think I could succeed. I killed a willingness to take a risk because I didn't think it would work. I also willingly basked in the shadowy darkness of negativity. My friends and I would sit around drinking our beers bemoaning the fact that we were stuck and couldn't do anything about it. We got the shit end of the stick.

It is only since breaking free that I realized how deep, dark and dangerous that damn word can't truly is. Now, I'm not referring to real limitations such as a lack of money or physical ability. No matter how much I try and practice, I will not ever be able to beat LeBron James at basketball. No matter how much I want to, I don't have the money to buy a Porsche today. There is a difference between acknowledging a limitation and erecting a metal barrier that prevents you from acting.

Most of our success comes not from our background, upbringing or education, it comes from the momentum we create for ourselves through the belief of what is possible and achievable and what is not. If we condition our minds to accept that we can achieve something, our mind, our subconscious will go to work figuring out how to make this vision possible. Conversely, when we convince ourselves we can't do something, that same subconscious accepts the limitation we are creating and sees no reason to change our minds.

The cliché about positive thinking is laughed at and easily mocked. It does sound funny, especially for someone struggling. I know, I was that person. Whenever someone would talk about positive visualization I'd respond with a sarcastic, cutting remark. I had no time for anyone speaking the truth, I was too focused on creating my barriers and embracing victimhood.

And much like a newly converted member of any faith, I've seen my light and feel compelled to scream it from the mountain tops! YES! Positive thinking, positive visualization works, it is powerful, and it can change your life. Tear that damn word can't from your vocabulary. It kills hope, it kills any belief in yourself. It reinforced the idea of being powerless, of being a victim.

And the victim mindset is easy, it is addictive, and society works hard to keep you believing that you are a victim because the Big Victim industry is powerful. It wants you to believe that you are powerless to act, to make changes in your life. It wants you to believe that you need it to protect and take care of you because you can't (there is that damn word again) do it alone.

Big Victim is deliberately misleading you. It makes no difference where you came from or what your current situation is. You are not the victim unless you let yourself be. I let myself be the victim. It was easy, I had no accountability, I could blame everyone and everything else for my situations and struggles. But I got tired of saying can't. I got tired of being the victim. When will you be tired of being the victim, when will you be tired of accepting a life of limitations? When will you get tired of building barriers around your potential? Are you afraid of discovering just how incredible you are? Are you scared of taking ownership of your potential and building your own success? I sure as hell hope not. It's time to believe, it is time to tear down those limiting walls of “can't” and start figuring out how you CAN.

Getting back to those conversations with friends and clients. When they start talking about the mental limitations created by can't I start agreeing with them. “You're right, you can't.” Generally, they don't like that, but it should comfort them. They believe they can't why should I try to convince them they are wrong. And they are, just like you are, and I was. We can. We can rise from whatever our current situation is. We can heal, we can forgive, we can create, and we can achieve greatness, we can change the world. The first step is destroying the “can't” and embracing the “can”!

#positive #i can #i cant #motivation #empowerment #believe

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dreamlaunchcoaching-blog · 6 years

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The 20 Commandments to Healing and Letting Go

For over a decade I`ve been lost and in pain. I`ve struggled like I never expected myself to struggle. I`ve slept on floors, endured separation from my family for months at a time, I've sent out countless resumes never to hear back from those jobs. I`ve lied awake at night wondering how I would feed my family, pay the rent or even retain my dignity as a man. It`s been painful, It`s been hell. And based on conversations I`ve had with clients and friends, I`ve discovered I am not the only one suffering like this.

I started hating the person I was becoming. I felt cursed and condemned to always suffer. Holding onto past misfortune and pain was preventing me from healing and letting go. I was transfixed on what I didn't have and couldn't see what I had, what I had overcome and what blessings were in my life.

If you are in that dark place where everything seems hopeless you need to let go. You need to release the poison and pain so you can begin healing. When you are successful in releasing that pain and hurt there will be a feeling of emptiness in your soul, don't be afraid of that void. . Embrace it. You have just become an empty vessel and you are allowed to add happiness and peace. But you can't add happiness and peace if you are overflowing with pain, hurt, anger, resentment, poison, jealousy, envy or any other negative emotion.

I've been there. I was afraid of letting that hurt go. I was afraid of what would happen to me. I feared the void which I knew it would create. But I did, I was successful in letting go of my pain, leaving my past behind me and embracing what I`ve and am today.

If I can do you, you can absolutely do it. You owe it to yourself, you deserve to let go of your past hurts and pains. I didn't have a roadmap, I just did it. There was a lot of trial and error, too many fights to count and I ended up hurting some people close to me. I would save you from those mistakes. Here are my 20 commandments, my process, for letting go of that pain, releasing that poison and creating a foundation for a happy, fulfilled life.

Laugh: There is incredible healing power in laughter. When we laugh we reduce stress hormones and release endorphins that alter our moods in a positive way. Laughing helps us release anger and rage and provides us with an overall sense of calm and harmony. So, laugh, find something that makes you crack up, something stupid, something offbeat, something that will make you break out in uncontrollable laughter and let it cleanse you of your anger and frustration. If you don't believe me, try it. Find a copy of Super Troopers and watch it. See if you feel better after watching it than before. Laughter is the greatest natural mood enhancer around. Laugh often, laugh out loud, laugh at yourself. Give yourself to feeling great and laugh.

Don't compare yourself to anyone else: We are all original and unique. We have no idea what battles everyone else is facing. They might appear to be doing better than us, but only they know what is happening behind closed doors. Their lives might seem great, but it could only be an illusion. Don't worry about what others are doing. Focus on yourself and I promise, everything else will take care of itself. Remember what you have overcome. You have done this based on your own unique strengths and willpower. That person you are envying, they might have crumbled and been destroyed when faced with your problems. Don't sell yourself short by envying someone else. The only person you should compare yourself with is you. Are you better, stronger, happier, more fulfilled today than yesterday?

Stay off social media: Building off of “not comparing yourself to others”, there is no experience worse served for this than social media. Take a break from facebooktwitterinstagramlinkedinpinterestsnapchat. It is not going to make your life better, it will only make you feel worse. Take a break, shut it down for a week while you get healthy. You won't miss the Farmville invitations, flashes of imaginary lives, political rage and memes, ok, maybe you will miss the memes but still. Studies are already proving that prolonged use of social media leads to depression and insecurity. Do you really want to experience that while trying to let go of past pains? Ya, I didn’t think so. So let it go. Read a book, take a walk, talk to someone in real life, watch a sunrise/sunset. The shift will make you feel better.

Forgive others: Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts given to us by God. Even if you don't believe in God, embrace the power of forgiveness. Remember, we are not perfect, and neither is anyone else. There are people that have hurt you, forgive them. Forgive them for the pain and suffering they have caused. Do it for yourself if you can't do it for them. Forgiveness allows us to be in peace. Seeking revenge, even if only in our thoughts hurts us emotionally. Don’t go down that road. Forgiveness takes strength. And if you don't think you can, you are wrong. I did. I`ve been lied to, betrayed, stabbed in the back (figuratively), almost kidnapped and assaulted by 4 guys on motorcycles. I`ve forgiven all of them. I`ve forgiven every single person who has caused me pain in my life. The result, a huge weight was lifted of my shoulders. I immediately felt better about who I was. I encourage you to do this. Forgive all who have hurt you.

Forgive yourself: Yes, forgive yourself. You have made mistakes, some might have been horrific. Your actions might be inexcusable. But if you are willing to redeem yourself, show true repentance and be accountable for your actions then God will forgive you. Therefore, you should be willing to forgive yourself. We are not perfect. We all act out of rage at times. We also experience a level of remorse for those actions. Own up to it, apologies and then forgive yourself. You will find inner peace through self-forgiveness.

Trust that you are stronger, braver, smarter and have more ability than you realize: Yes, you are! You might not think it, you might not feel it but damn it, you are powerful. You were born to be strong, to be triumphant. It doesn't matter where you are coming from. You would not have made it this far if you did not have the warrior’s strength. It might be undeveloped, it might have atrophied but it is there. You have greater wisdom, intelligence, and desire than you realize. As you release your pain and hurt, get in touch with this strength. This is the true you, the powerful being that God created to achieve amazing things.

Cry: Yes, cry! Let it out. Crying offers incredible cleansing and healing power. I realize there is a bit of irony in listing crying right after strength, but it is only weak people who are afraid to cry. This does not mean cry daily, it does not mean to cry whenever something doesn’t go your way. NO! Crying should be done in private, not in public. No one wants to see someone completely lose control. It diminishes the respect people have for you if you cry too often or over trivial things. Find the right times, ideally alone or with people you deeply trust and cry. Crying cleanses your soul and your mind. It releases emotions you are not even aware of and helps you relieve stress toxins and calm yourself down. I cry from time to time and have found that I feel better and get a great night sleep because of it. Again, not all the time, remember that internal strength but cry.

Create your safe space: I am not using safe spaces in the more commonly accepted way. I do not refer to snowflakes afraid of word triggers and people who disagree with them. When I talk about a safe place I mean a place where you can let it all out. Where there is no judgment and ideally no one to hurt. A place you can yell, scream, throw things and yes, even cry. A place where there is no one to judge your actions and you can be the most honest, raw version of you. When you suffer or are in pain and need to let go, head to your safe space and get it out.

Accept that you are starting over: Yes, if you are like me (and I hope you did not fall as far) then you are starting over. Yes, it sucks when that realization hits you, but you can't ignore or deny it. You must start over. The trip might be hard, it might be long but it won’t begin if you are still anchored in the past or resisting your reality. Starting over is hard on the ego, I’m 44 and I`ve 4 kids. Start over sucks. But believe me, as someone who lost everything and has struggled to rebuild, it is a hell of a lot better than standing pat.

Remove “can’t from your vocabulary: We are all born to be exceptional, I believe that from the bottom of my heart. Yet we continuously erect barriers to our success and happiness by saying we “can’t”. We are removing opportunities from our lives because we have convinced ourselves that our dreams are not possible. We can’t achieve them. What is sadly funny is that it takes just as much effort to convince ourselves we can't as it does to convince ourselves we can. Remove that damn word out of your vocabulary. Start convincing yourself that you CAN achieve your goals, you can heal, you can let go of the pain, you can take that first step.

Yes! It is possible: People have come from nothing to become incredibly successful. People have endured greater pain, abuse, and humiliation than we could even imagine. Yet they have forgiven, they have moved on and let go. If they can, why the hell can't you? Its either because you like having the victim mentality, and if you do I can't help you, or you don't believe you can. It is possible to overcome. It is possible to heal. Trust yourself, trust your instinct to heal and move forward with your life rather than clinging to the past and using it as an excuse not to do anything new. It is possible to heal and change. It is possible to overcome. Embrace your inner warrior, the one who is fearless and strong. The ideal image that you have of yourself. Let that warrior be your guide. They would not quit, they are not afraid. If you can imagine your warrior, you can become your warrior.

Embrace the power of visualization: Visualization is power, visualization creates reality. If you can see yourself as a success, I mean really see yourself as a success, and believe it deep down, then that is what you will become. However, visualization also works in reverse. If you see yourself as powerless, as a victim, as having no control over your life, then your life will manifest that reality as well. Embrace the power of positive visualization. Close your eyes, let your subconscious be your guide and visualize the greatest, strongest, most powerful you that you can imagine. The you that does have control, the you that is not a victim, the you that does have the power to determine your path. Every day, morning and night, when you are alone when you are lost in thought. Instead of daydreaming or focusing on fantasy football picks, visualize transforming into Super-you and becoming the person you wished you could be.

Don't be afraid of the work and sacrifice: Yes, letting go, changing, embracing the new you is going to take work. If it was easy you would n`t need me, and you would not be reading this article. It takes focus and a willingness to do something new. It also takes sacrifice when you are struggling, feeling frustrated and know that it is easier to fall back into old routines. Don't be afraid of this, that pain you are feeling is growth and development. It means you are getting closer to success but your body, mind, and emotions are not used to it, so you panic. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you will be victorious.

Your goal is to move forward: It does not matter if you move forward an inch or a mile a day. Just. Move. Forward. Progress is internal and remember, no one other than you knows what obstacles you face. Don't retreat, don't stand still, move forward, forget about the pace.

Drop your baggage: YES! Your journey is easier without that garbage. And it is garbage. You don't need it. Let it go. You will feel emotionally lighter, more positive and happier. You choose to carry your baggage, generally out of guilt but once you realize you were never meant to be perfect, once you can forgive yourself and others, you don’t need that baggage. Let it fall and walk away. Don't look back, look forward with a smile.

It’s only failure if you don't learn from it: Unless you are skydiving failure is not going to be fatal. It is merely a learning opportunity. The most successful men and women throughout history have failed greatly. Your failures are no worse than theirs. Shift your thinking about failure from a negative to a growing experience. It is only cowards and fools who fear failure.

Rejoice at the opportunity to create a new you: Yes, a new you. The person you were born to be, the person you dream of being. As you let go of your pain, you open new and incredible opportunities to become all you are capable of being. There are not certain people pre-determined for success, only people willing to take the chances and make the sacrifices others are not. Become the new you, self-discovery is exciting and provides you the opportunity to reinvent who you are. Embrace this.

Develop an empowerment mantra: Stuart Smalley killed the empowerment mantra with his “I'm good enough, smart enough and doggone it, people like me” BS. As much as I believe in self-empowerment I still laugh at that. But let's get over it. Develop a mantra that you can say daily that helps you visualize the person you want to become or the change you want to make. I do this daily, a reminder is set on my calendar. I recite it multiple times a day. Every time putting more emotion and conviction into it. Develop your own, something that will capture what you feel. Mine is “I am the Phoenix rising. I am the Phoenix resurrected from the ashes.” The more I say it, the more I believe it. The more I want it. The more I live it. Create your own and let it be your power.

Remove toxic people from your life: This is hard, among the hardest things you will do but it is vitally necessary. You must remove those toxic influences from your life. Those social vampires who drain your energy being too clingy and needy. Those overwhelmingly negative people who always have a problem. Those victim mentalities who are always mid-crisis. Those negative attitudes and emotions become their realities and they will suck you in and destroy you if given the chance. They don't want you happy, they don't want to see you as an inspiration. They want to pull you down to their level and share their suffering with you. Break free of them. Block them on social media, limit your exposure to them, know when they start going down their dark pathways and excuse yourself. You do not have to be there for them. If they don't care enough about you to support your efforts to better yourself, you do not owe them your time and energy. Remove them as much from your life as possible.

You deserve to heal: You do, you deserve to allow yourself to find happiness and fulfillment. You deserve to let go of your past and embrace your present. You deserve to have every opportunity to create a beautiful future. But you must be willing to allow yourself to do this. It won't be done for you. No one will give it to you. It is completely up to you to allow it or not. No matter what anyone tells you, you do deserve to give yourself this chance, this blessing of forgiveness and healing. Trust that.

Holding onto your past will affect your future and your present. You might be in a shitty situation, you might feel like everything is stacked against you. I know, I've been there. I overcame it, I put in the work, made the mistakes, wanted to give up and just feel sorry for myself. But I couldn't. I was not willing to fail, to quit or become less than the man I am fully capable of being. I want this for you to. Become your own Phoenix, light your own path and refuse to accept what other people label you as. You can transform and become your own Superhero. But you must be willing to let go of your past, allow yourself to heal and embrace all that makes you special and unique.

Stay strong and God Bless!

#god #blessings #forgiveness #forgive yourself #healing #emotional #empowerment #transform

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dreamlaunchcoaching-blog · 6 years

Text

Be Thankful

As I stared at myself in the mirror, feeling my razor glide across my face, removing my weekend stubble I started thinking about what a great experience shaving is. This morning ritual gives me a few minutes of peace, allows me to look and feel my best and revitalizes me. This realization opened my mind to other things I am thankful for. Suddenly, I was hit with an inspiration, I am thankful for everything in my life. The good and the bad, the messes, chaos, order, and structure. I am thankful for my successes, they validate my efforts and sacrifices. I am thankful for my failures, they made me strong and more determined. I am thankful for the fights, they have allowed me to release my emotions and pain, I am thankful for the make-ups, they have allowed me to express my love. I am grateful for my lack of direction, it has provided me with a more interesting and unique life and allowed me the chance for self-discovery. I am even thankful for my bills. Having bills means I have hot water, electricity, a cell phone, internet, and TV. And paying bills means I have money, I have income and am embracing my responsibility to provide for my family.

I was not always thankful for everything. For most of my life, I was angry, bitter, and resentful of everything. Being angry and resentful made me unhappy, which in turn created poison in my soul. I couldn't see the light because I was transfixed on the darkness. I hated everything, my job, my relationships, my happiness and my life. Being resentful almost made me sick. Everything that happened in my life was colored gray. I was miserable.

Thank God I saw the light. Thank God I was able to change my perspective. The challenge I have dedicated myself to is helping others change their perspective. I have friends and clients who cling to dark clouds as my son clings to his teddy bear. They can't see their blessings because they are so concerned with their suffering. They refuse to understand that the mind, the subconscious attracts like-minded experiences. If you see the beauty, you attract beauty. If you see darkness, you attract darkness.

Changing your thinking to embrace the light is not hard to do. You must make the decision, commit to it. Take it slow if you must. Set yourself up for success. You can change your outlook, but no one is going to do it for you. The most I can do is help and support you. But you owe it to yourself to change, to get the most out of life, to welcome every blessing and gift life can offer you. It does happen, but it only happens when you are mentally and emotionally open to seeing and receiving it.

Set yourself up for success. Spend 5 minutes a day forcing yourself to be thankful for 1 great thing in your life, 1 good thing in your life and 1 problem in your life. That's it, don't do anything more. Just be somewhere alone, reflect and give thanks. I give thanks to God as I am a believer. You might not be, so give thanks to whatever supreme being, or just your own self-ego if you must. What matters is giving thanks.

My challenge to you is to do this every day for one week. Commit to it. Force yourself if you must. Open your mind. Believe you will be a success. Will yourself to change your mindset and celebrate the light that you begin seeing.

#thankful #blessings #happiness #peace

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