dreamprestige-blog

[dreamprestige-blog]

I’ve had my fair share of experience with the criminal justice system. This fueled my passion for striving to make a difference among the inmate population. I want to make a movement.

My earlier experiences with the criminal justice system have taught me a lot about how to maneuver through the hoops and obstacles that are all a part of the correctional process. Heck, today I am even grateful for the mistakes that I made because it has enhanced my understanding so that I can help be a guide to others and share my experience. After some of the things I have witnessed, I do not agree with how the justice system works and I am determined to bring insight to anyone who is willing to listen.

The first thing that should change is the stigma towards ex-offenders. Once someone has been stamped with the FELON label, it becomes nearly impossible for an individual to entirely move on with their life. So many opportunities are taken away. If someone does their time, becomes rehabilitated, and becomes a productive and trustworthy member of society, they should be free of the chains that bind them to their criminal history. Felons may experience difficulty finding housing, employment, education, and many other things. So how can an individual be expected to create a new life when they are constantly reminded and judged of their prior mistakes and limited to creating a new one? Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that some people, just aren’t capable of doing so, regardless of the resources that are provided to them. They may suffer from mental health issues that have gone unresolved, or they may continue to struggle with drug abuse even after having some time abstinent. What if these offenders were given the opportunity to truly make things right? Equal opportunity to have the life that they may have dreamed of before they became the person they were when they committed whatever crime that they did. An equal opportunity to make an honest living with a secured job in order to provide for themselves and their family. I mean, to me it sounds understandable why anyone would ever become what is called a “habitual felon,” and to better help you understand what I mean, I ask you to put yourselves in this hypothetical situation: We’ve been through a traumatic event as a child, or even a young adult and by trying to cope with our trauma, we find a method of self medicating and we become mentally and physically dependent on drugs. We begin committing crimes in order to support our habit and we can barely control ourselves because now, we have created our own mental health issues as well. We have to keep masking our feelings. We feel guilty about the crimes that we are committing so we continue embarking on our drug use so that we can forget what we’ve just done. It gets worse as we get worse. We stop being “smart” about the way that we are committing the crimes and we get caught and charged. We plead guilty and we serve our time to the department of corrections. Following our release date, we may struggle to find somewhere to live, and the means to meet the conditions of our parole. We have our family to support, as well as our own basic human needs. Minimum wage just doesn’t cut it, and we have been forced to work a job that we absolutely hate, we feel that we are serving no purpose, and we can barely afford our monthly supervision and restitution fees that are a part of our conditions. We are searching for a resolution, and we go back to selling and maybe even using drugs. We begin making lots of money, and in our own eyes, we feel like we’re really doing well because we are providing for ourselves and our families. We’re paying all of our bills and we were even able to buy our son the shoes that he had been begging us for.

One night, we end up selling drugs to a young girl who had recently relapsed. She had been to rehab, and was learning to cope with life after the death of her father. Unfortunately, for her, she had just experienced another loss. The loss of her first love. She had just found that her boyfriend of four years had been cheating on her and it had broken her heart. She relapsed after having had two years of sobriety and went out seeking drugs in hopes to mask the pain, and to mend her battered heart. She bought the drugs from us, and not knowing the potency of the drugs that she had just purchased, she took them all. She was found dead the next morning by her mother.

We have no clue that we contributed to the death of a young girl, so when the police end up at our door, we can’t imagine that we have done anything wrong. We can only assume that the police had just received a tip from one of the neighbors stating that there could potentially be some type of criminal activity going on at our home due to the increased amount of traffic that was driving through the cul-de-sac late at night on the weekends. When we are read our Miranda rights and told that we are under arrest for second degree manslaughter, our minds are completely blown. We were only trying to make enough money to be someone other than the poor and worthless felon that it seems we have been destined to me, we never intended to kill anyone. We have become a habitual offender, and we know what waits for us on the other side of those gray doors.

Now, before I go any further, I must tell you that while that story may sound familiar to you, and I truly hope that it does not, it is not my own personal experience. I promise you, I will save that for another time. This is only a hypothetical story that I am asking you to consider. What would this be like for you? Sure, we can all empathize with the young girl who overdosed due to heartache. We can all feel terribly sorry for the widow who just lost her daughter due to drugs. How many of us can suffer with, and understand the emotional process of the offender?

Doesn’t that sound crazy??

I think that the story that I just told has a lot of suffering involved in it. The offender suffered before the drug abuse ever even began, before the first felony conviction. He had been sexually abused by his step mother for 7 years. The only escape he could find was through drugs. How dare he tell anyone about the abuse, and without any type of insurance, he couldn’t afford therapy. His incompetence towards coping was where he made his first mistake. Feeling sorry for him now?

This is what we don’t know about people. We don’t know anything about them to be quite honest. We judge them by their mistakes. Technically, only by the mistakes that they get caught making. I’ve even heard correctional officers quote “I could be locked up just as easily as all of these other inmates, I just didn’t get caught.”

It would be easier if we could just blame all this suffering on the woman who was sexually abusing her step son, but that wouldn’t be right. Or would it?

Before we judge someone with a criminal record, we might want to ask ourselves if they are honestly trying to move on with their life. If you are an employer interviewing for a big executive or government position that needs to be filled, then maybe that “felon” that is applying for the job actually considers them self worthy enough for the job in the first place. After all, they probably wouldn’t be applying for it if they weren’t trying to get away criminal activity. If you’re a landlord, and you’re reviewing a leasing application from an ex-offender, keep in mind that considering them might actually be doing your own self a favor.

When we give someone an opportunity to prove their self as being capable of success in the future, then we are helping them be free of what might bind them to their criminal past. The more productive members of society that we can help create, the less criminals we have on our streets. Be a part of the solution, not of the problem. Remember, you know their opus number, not their story.  

[dreamprestige-blog]

The bigger picture: not only are we becoming divided as a country due to the election, but division is so prevalent now among ALL OF THE NATIONS. It makes me so sick, we are ALL HUMANS, we are all from the SAME CREATOR; NO MATTER WHO YOU BELIEVE YOUR CREATOR TO BE. You do realize, that one day, NONE OF THIS WILL MATTER. I guess you could say that that’s the good news. What will matter is what you contributed to the world and the people while you had the opportunity. Why live with hatred and judgment in our hearts? Think about the bigger picture is all I suggest. What about our environment? What about the people, of all races, gender identifications, cultures, etc.? Picture the Earth and how small and almost insignificant America’s small chunk of land is compared to everything combined. America is wonderful but CAN YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?! It doesn’t lie in the here and now, OR with the election. PRESERVE THE PEOPLE, PRESERVE THE PLANET AND CARRY PEACE IN YOUR HEARTS.

[dreamprestige-blog]

In the Mourning

In between my sleep and wake; I have found a hidden realm, but the sound of all this silence is enough overwhelm. Without you here to guide me, I am wandering and I am lost. I'd do anything to have you here, God just name the cost. Someone please come save my soul, please protect it from the frost. The cold and frozen memories of what should have been show me that love can haunt.

Wandering, among the city of the dreamers, I am ever so awake. Me knowing that I won't ever have you here caused me to willingly make mistakes. Reliving all those moments, the ones that I failed to appreciate- make it hard for me to breathe, it's like my heart is going to break. I'm left alone and sitting here, trying to filter through all this hate. If I could have said I loved you one more time, before it was just too late.

Your memory becomes my dreaming, my vacant stares; a paradox, they're full of meaning. My laugh, my smile, only gives the illusion that my spirit is beaming; But within my own reality, its vulgar and filled with quiet screaming. Just like the roaring ocean, the pain has not subsided. The storm has gotten out of control . The waves have not abided, well, I even tried to put them on parole.

The grief, it took me hostage and it seems to lock me in this state. And All the ways you cared for me, I can not even reciprocate. I'm submerged inside this hole, I need to escape right now. But the waves they washed away my soul, when it was death that I couldn't allow.