drinkingasoline

[drinkingasoline]

I think a car should be able to heal from its injuries. Its a living thing.

[drinkingasoline]

Dating the cars headcannons <3

Christine

• You found her put up for sale at some yard, rusting and well-aged. You buy her, intending to restore her - but you get much more than that.

• She loves affection, so be prepared to give her all you got

• Playing music is her love language - especially old romantic songs

• She can be mean when she wants - but never to you

• She's a natural femme fatale, and she knows exactly how to seduce you

• She's intensely jealous

• She'll let you wash her, fix her, take care of her. In return, she'll take care of you

Herbie

• The first thing you think when you get this car is "this thing is messed up".

• This is correct, because Herbie is driving well over the speed limit and doing things that shouldn't be logically possible.

• He likes fun, and he'll jump at any opportunity to impress you

• He loves affection - he follows you around like a lost puppy, waiting for you to give him some reassuring touches

• He'll drive you to a beautiful isolated spot, where you can both enjoy the view

• He likes a person who enjoys the fast life

• He's competitive, so any potential threats to your relationship will find themselves facing his (very unintimidating) fury

Duel Truck (a.k.a Daisy Duke)

• You found this old beast at a junkyard, parts caved in, as though she had fallen from a great height. Despite her weak appearance, though, she's nothing but.

• Out of all the cars on this list, she's the meanest

• She's also the grumpiest - letting out huffing growls and lazy sighs when it's time to hit the road

• At first she was threatened by the affection you gave her

• But as your relationship's grown, she's come to like it

• She's exceptionally lazy. She likes to sleep under the sun like some desert lizard

• If anyone upsets her on the road, she'll take the lead

KITT

• You're an assigned spy, working for Knight Industries. This company takes precautions, though - and hands you their most technologicaly advanced vehicle yet.

• KITT is fast, smart, and quick witted. Expect a snarky joke every now and then

• He's sassy, and not afraid to let his opinions known. He's looking for someone similar to debate and (affectionately) argue with.

• He's not so affectionate than he is sarcastic

• Loves it when you touch his hood sweetly

• Quiet drives and long conversations at night will get him sweet-talking, though

• Likes to show off his skill

• Loves attention - and is somewhat jealous

• expect lots of fast food and greasy burgers as dinner dates. Spy's gotta eat.

• He worries about you getting hurt on missions

• Somewhat needy. He's confident and respects himself, but likes to stay by your side

• He WILL scan you.

[drinkingasoline]

wait, do you actually wanna fuck planes and trains 😟 like for real 😟

[drinkingasoline]

Whoops! Polish speaker corrected me on a word.

-Crispy

[drinkingasoline]

What do you perceive as your car’s “voice?” Not literally, but what cues do you take from your vehicle as a reply or some kind of an indication that they’re trying to make a connection with you? What little coincidences feel most like them?

( My girl Tux typically growls pretty heavily when I drive her and the shifting of her engine feels like her voice, but I’ll also get these beautiful shafts of light coming through her windows when we’re together at night that feel like she’s trying her best to touch me back. )

[drinkingasoline]

cw: discussion of mortality as it relates to object partners and POSICness

A few weeks ago he told me that “falling in love with a car is a guaranteed tragedy.”

I’ve been having a lot of deep conversations lately with my boyfriend about the permanence of objects in our lives. How we impress ourselves upon these objects and how they take our traits on in turn. How they can be a comfort to us in a rapidly shifting world — objects don’t die after all, so surely you can own them indefinitely? But in a consumerist society it’s natural to cycle through your things. How magical it is when one defies the odds and … stays?

Tuxedo’s off lease contract maturation date is up soon. Her standing total is less than half my paycheck. She’s mine. My funny asymmetrical girl. Six long years. I don’t drive her with baby gloves. She sees a gravel road in the Everglades? She’s taking it if we can safely go slow enough. Muddy astronomy field? No problem. She’s dimpled with scuffs and the faintest strike of rust but they’re almost like scars, trophies from the road. Memories we’ve shared together.

I have a very complicated relationship with cars and driving if it’s not obvious. My nerves aren’t meant for the road and my brain isn’t made for what feels like the encyclopedic knowledge required to understand how cars work. I smashed her door during an impulsive blind spot u-turn and even though you could never tell, a part of me still feels so guilty for failing her like that. For hurting her.

Cars are not selfish entirely by design. They are purpose built to keep us safe and punctual. I know she is happy to keep me protected. But my boyfriend told me that falling in love with a car is a guaranteed tragedy, and I can’t help but believe him when I look at car crash statistics and swear I feel her transmission lurch.

I don’t know what my future with her looks like now that our relationship has shifted so intimately. I do know I’m driving her until her wheels fall off.

In my ideal world I look to the future where I have a home with a backyard. When she no longer can start I park her under the shade of a tree where the spiders can spin webs on her and keep her company just like they did back in Florida. She’s old and useless and worthless to even try selling but she’s my funny special girl and she’s not dead, just quiet and still and unable to get around. You don’t throw people away when they stop walking — why would I do that to her?

My children earned their permits in her seats before she limped back home to park one last time. I trim the grass around her and keep her clean and safe, here with the person who she’s known longer than she hasn’t. I tell her about where we’ve been, what amazing road trips we’ve done. I bring her back new magnets and stickers from places I wish she could’ve seen — and places that will always make me think of her. I detail her bumper and cycle her stickers and safely fix Polaroids from across the USA on her dash where her airbags will never have a reason to deploy. Maybe I still fill out the little travel log I have on her dash … or maybe my new car inherits it and carries on her legacy. I don’t know.

On days where the sky is blue and clear and open just like it was so many years ago in the astronomy field, I sit in her seats and smoke as I stroke her wheel and catch her up on everything she wants to know.

She will never know another crash. And when the time comes to let go I’ll know it’s the true definition of a tragedy. Grief, but catharsis, too. The understanding that I’ve lived the complete human experience of what it is to be wired the way I am.

[drinkingasoline]

Gas station attendant, filling up my car with gasoline: (slaps the trunk) heh, you like that don't you, you whore?

[drinkingasoline]

Damn girl are you a car cuz I want to fuck you

[drinkingasoline]

@stxckyfxsh

I jist want a living plane to call me a pretty pilot and fuck my brains out is that so much to ask

[drinkingasoline]

I wonder if transformers ever yern for humans to be in their Earth alt modes. The vehicles are quite literally designed for humans to ride in. I want to put it in better words.

But just it must feel nice right? Their alt modes are essentially part of who they are. Human vehicles are not alive no soul just pure purpose. They are meant to be driven and take people places, nothing less nothing more. Yes of course there's nuance and different purposes for more specialized vehicles but still. When a Cybertronian takes over that form of pure technological purpose do they crave the simple satisfaction of doing what the vehicle was meant to? It could be very relaxing for a bot just to shut off their brain and let their human drive them. To feel the weight of the human in the driver's seat, the belt strapped against their beating chest, the gentle hands that guide the controls, the thing you love and want to protect safely nested inside of you.

Just the simple joy of it.

[drinkingasoline]

I've seen a few "filling a car with gas but as a sex thing" posts before but never one that compares it to food. Does nobody else think that's hot. Okay baby eat up make sure you get niiice and full. I'll even top it off a bit. You can handle just a little more, right? Fender pats like belly rubs. Gasoline sloshing around in there when we pull away. Hello. Can anyone hear me.

[drinkingasoline]

NSFW

Have you ever seen a car so sexy you got a boner?

[drinkingasoline]

[drinkingasoline]

kicks ground. if you're still doing objectum requests what about gyroplanes

hell yeah boss

[drinkingasoline]

Can we stop calling objectum a paraphilia? Hopefully this isn't controversial, but I'm not comfortable having my attraction compared to things that actually harm people, like fucking pedophilia or necrophilia or zoophilia.

[drinkingasoline]

Gahan Wilson

[drinkingasoline]

why is there no transformers porn of them as vehicles artists get on this RIGHT NOWWWW