drk1ng

[drk1ng]

@dunkies asked: it can’t be that bad ,  right ?

" no, it's ── it's pretty bad. " if you were to look at the board, it probably wouldn't sound that bad. the patient had been brought in with a possible broken arm, though possible seemed an unnecessary word to include. the poor girl had fallen off her bike resulting in an open fracture that turned her wrist toward her elbow. " you know that one scene in that harry potter movie when he breaks his arm & then it's de ── deboned? it's like that but . . . not deboned. hands shouldn't ── point that way. we stabilized the fracture & pushed some antibiotics while she waits for imaging, but she's going to need surgery. " she shakes her head slightly to reset. " probably not the worst bike injury you've seen, but it definitely ruined her day. "

[drk1ng]

season 3 should take place on halloween . . . can you iMAGINE

[drk1ng]

she chews on her bottom lip as her gaze flickers between him & his work. she would have trusted anyone here to help her, but she was grateful that it was him. he was steady, calm, all of the things she wanted desperately to learn. what better position to learn about being a better caretaker than by being the patient. funny, isn't it?

his advice lands heavily in the middle of her chest, a certain abashed heat radiating there & tinting her cheeks a shade of pink. she knew what burnout was. she knew that even she was susceptible to it. but she didn't know any other way to be. not confidently, anyway. it isn't that she doesn't want to stop; she doesn't know how. the hand that isn't currently out of commission balls into an anxious fist at her side, her thumb running over her knuckles. " if i shouldn't be sorry, neither should you. " she begins with a nervous laugh, subtle & breathy. " i don't think . . . i know that balance ── balance is important. it just doesn't seem fair, you know? " and suddenly . . . maybe she doesn't know. it takes a few seconds, long seconds, before she has the words that have only ever floated around her mind when things got quiet. " you know, if i can . . . and someone else can't. putting yourself first is ── i don't need to be first. "

things being how they are, robby doesn't do sutures as much anymore– but when he'd noticed an angry slash of red down mel's arm, it had felt appropriate that he was the one to do them. his student, his concern. and he knows as well as any of them what it is to push yourself past your limits. the room he'd chosen is quiet– for all the chaos, the ed isn't particularly full today. ( and that's a blessing if robby's ever heard of one. ) confidence can't outmatch caution, so when he speaks, he doesn't lift his eyes to meet mel's. instead, he watches his work, is as careful as he would be with a patient, if not more so. and if he's taking his sweet time, then let him. mel is the kind of person to work herself down to the bone, so robby is more than happy for the excuse to get her off of her feet for a little while.

" you were paying attention to your patients, " he supplies, glancing up to offer a quick smile as he finishes the knot he's working on. " nothing to be sorry for. " the snip of the thread is the only sound for a moment as robby finishes one stitch and begins on the next. " you'll have to forgive me for turning this into a teaching moment, " he says, " but– times like these are always good to remind us to stop for a second. which i know is probably among the last things you wanna do. " another stitch, tied off neatly. robby looks up at mel. " i could tell you that you can't help anyone until you help yourself. and i will. but i'll also tell you that you're just as deserving of care as any patient in this hospital. i think that's the thing we tend to forget. "

[drk1ng]

an emotional response to death. death was clinical, wasn't it? it was inevitable, often messy. she understood the mechanics of it. that didn't make it any easier. a part of her wondered if she hadn't seen death so personally, so up close, if she would react this way: lump in her throat, tears welling in her eyes, fingers interlocked in a grip tight enough to keep them at bay. she backed out of the trauma room, now quiet with the monitors turned off, and did her best to swallow the emotion creeping in. mel pulled her phone from her pocket for a moment of distraction only to be faced with a long overdue reminder to call her sister & a missed call directly from becca. great.

@storybookodyssey asked: i can tell you’re upset , what happened ? (from dana)

dana's voice pulls her from her reverie. she looks up to the woman with tears still shining in her eyes, though the furious amount of blinks from behind her glasses are doing their best to dispel them. " yeah, no. i'm, uhm ── i'll be fine. " she nods a few times, taking a deep breath before continuing. " the patient in two . . . he ── he coded, and we couldn't get him back. and my ── my sister called while i was in there because i was supposed to call her, so she's probably . . . worried. " shoulders deflate with the last word as she lets loose the final breath she'd kept crowded in her chest. " i'm sorry, that was a lot. i just need ── a minute. "

[drk1ng]

me?? here to write?? someone alert the media

[drk1ng]

the extrovert in me has sabotaged the introvert she shares a brain with smh

[drk1ng]

listen, i understand why no one seems to let mel finish a single story she starts. she's a professional yapper & would talk for hours.

[drk1ng]

@knightfalling asked: how long have you been standing there ?

" oh! uhm ── " her eyes flit to the space behind her, naively wondering if the question was aimed at anyone else. of course it wasn't; she had been standing there for longer than was certainly necessary. she'd gotten distracted, that's all. she'd had a question about one of the patients they'd both overseen, but as always, her timing had been rather unfortunate. lucy had already been going in to talk with someone else, and mel was left standing lamely in the doorway. well, just beyond the doorframe ── always respect privacy.

mel figured she would just wait. she didn't meant to eavesdrop . . . but she was almost glad that she did. lucy was kind, she already knew that. but she listened, and she cared. it was obvious how much she wanted to help the patient she was speaking to, and how comfortable she felt being that person for them. it was admirable. she supposed she could have been caught doing worse. " not long. well, maybe too long. sorry, i just ── you're really good with them. i promise i wasn't trying to ── to spy on you or anything, but . . . you're just really good at this. "

[drk1ng]

her chin rests in her hand, her elbow propped up on the counter in front of her. she's practically bent over the tablet she had been scrolling through, though her movements had slowed considerably since she'd given her head a place to rest. she had offered to cover the first few hours of a shift that backed directly up to her own . . . which was fine! she didn't need much sleep anyway, what was a few extra hours? but things had gotten quiet. the results she'd been waiting for weren't exactly taking too long, there just wasn't anything to fill the time in between. now, here she was, leaning against the nurse's station, every blink becoming a bit slower than the last.

@gobagx asked: how long has it been since you’ve slept ?

his words temporarily shock the fatigue from her system, evident in the way she straightens her spine & looks back to dr. abbot with wide, somewhat guilty eyes. " what? oh. no, i'm fine. " words are joined with a slight laugh. " i usually run on very little sleep, actually. " and while it isn't a lie, her hands meet merely to wring together because she knows how silly it must sound after having been caught practically napping in the middle of the emergency department. " i - i'll get some sleep after this shift. "

[drk1ng]

the vibes on the dash whenever i log on are always so good, what a cool place to be!!

[drk1ng]

↪     𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑩𝑰𝑫 ᶜᵘʳᶤᵒˢᶤᵗʸ .    (  a  collection  of  various unsorted question prompts .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .   will  be  updated  frequently .  )

are you kidding me ?

[ name ] ,  what just happened ?

hey !  what’d you do that for ?

did you plan on ever telling me ?

do you want to tell me the truth ,  this time ?

you seriously think i could’ve done this ?

did you know about this ?

[ name ] ,  what were you thinking ?!

can we talk ?  alone ?

why are you doing all of this ?

it can’t be that bad ,  right ?

haven’t you heard the stories ?

who did this to you ?

what are you insinuating ?

what did you think was gonna happen ?!

you think i could do something like that ?

who do you think you are ?

why won’t you let me help you ?

do you have any evidence of that ?

can we put away our differences for a second ?

where have you been ? 

is that  …  blood ?

what’s your problem ?

are you real ?

where’s your sense of adventure ?

would you kill for me ?

you’re  [ name ] ,  aren’t you ?

why can’t you just let it go ?

do you want me to stay ?

what if we left  …  ran away ?

what else was i supposed to do ?

how did you get this scar ?

could you give me a hand with this ?

do you ever stop talking ?

you’ve never done this before ,  have you ?

where do you think you’re going ?

how many fingers am i holding up ?

what can i say to make it better ?

why can’t we all just get along ?

can i stay the night ?

what’s that supposed to mean ?

where did your common sense go ?

you seriously don’t believe me ?

what aren’t you telling me ?

do you have a minute ?

why are you lying ?

you’re gonna walk away from this ?

where am i supposed to go ?

can we stop and think about this rationally ?

how long has it been since you’ve slept ?

why can’t we be civil about this ?

what makes you so special ?

where is all of this coming from ?

how are we gonna get out of here ?

you’ll never leave me ,  right ?

were you in on this ?

care to join me for a bit ?

shows what you know ,  doesn’t it ?

do you want to get out of here ?

what were you expecting to happen ?

what are you working on ?

i can tell you’re upset ,  what happened ?

when can i see you again ?

where do we go from here ?

can you sit up for me ?

how long have you been awake ?

what are you getting out of this ?

can we put this behind us ?

where are you ?  nobody’s heard from you .

how can i make this go away ?

were you following me ?

where does it hurt ?  show me .

[ name ] ,  what the hell ?

hey  …  can i ask you something ?

you’re not gonna tell me where we’re going ?

really ?  you’re gonna do that right here ?

are you even listening to me ?

we can help each other ,  right ?

hey  …  did you hear that ?

you have no idea who i am ,  do you ?

how long have you known ?

what exactly are you asking me to do ?

how was i supposed to know that ?

are you new around here ?

can you stop and listen to me for a second ?

do you think there’s something wrong with me ?

what ,  you think i’m not qualified ?

why did you help me ?

can you just look at me ,  please ?

what can i do to convince you ?

where did we go wrong ?

oh my god ,  are you bleeding ?

why the long face ?

are you trying to get yourself killed ?

what do you make of this ?

how much do you wanna bet ?

you’re sure this will work ?

why are you so concerned about me ?

what are you trying to prove ?

did you ever care about me ?

are you drunk ?

isn’t this amazing ?

how long have you been standing there ?

what are you suggesting ?

why are you such a pessimist ?

did you know them ?

can we call it a day ?

where did you come from ?

[drk1ng]

a little blurb about the kings!

mel & becca grew up in a family - oriented, middle - class home. both of her parents worked while the girls were going through primary school to support the services becca was receiving outside of school ( ABA & speech therapy ). mel took her role as a sister seriously throughout their childhood; saying that becca was her best friend wasn't an exaggeration. despite how hard her parents worked & how crazy their schedules could get, it was important that everyone sat down together at the end of the day for dinner to decompress.

this comfortable routine was tragically interrupted when their father was killed in a car accident. grief settled over the king family heavily. mel had been 14. maybe it was a desperation to preserve the family that they still had, but she very quickly & very easily stepped up to help manage the responsibilities of the house. it helped her to compartmentalize, to juggle the emotions she didn't know what to do with.

mel continued to live at home to support her family when she began her undergrad program. her sights had only ever been set on medicine, and she did well in school to secure her future. during the last year of undergrad, her mother was diagnosed with a malignant pheochromocytoma. by the time doctors had caught it, it had already metastasized to her lymph nodes. despite the upheaval in the family, her mother had made it clear that not going to med school wasn't an option.

her mother began treatment the summer after she graduated with her bachelor's degree. the trajectory of mel's career centered around taking care of people, so that's what she did. the role she had taken on after her father's death continued to build.

treatment worked, and her mother went into remission after two cycles of aggressive chemotherapy. mel almost made it through her first year before the cancer came back. her mother refused treatment this time, opting instead to spend the time she had left as coherently as possible with her children. both king sisters were with her when she passed, a little over a year after her initial diagnosis.

mel became becca's primary caregiver after the passing of her mother. with the money that her parents had left & the sum they had received from their life insurance, mel took care of them both on her own until the clinical years of med school. she was able to hire part - time help when clinical hours took her away from her sister for too long.

this was the life both of them knew until becca had been accepted into the care facility in north hills, prompting mel to pursue & accept the emergency medicine rotation at pittsburgh trauma medical center.

the only constant in both of their lives has always been each other. mel has always done her best to take care of her family, and that want to do good is what pushed her to where she is today. taking care of others is what she knows best. now, becca spends the majority of the week at the care facility, but there are still routines that mel won't let either of them give up. going to a restaurant at the end of the week, watching movies elf, checking in at the same time every day to show that becca will always be a priority.

[drk1ng]

accidentally became important at work n its ruining my life

[drk1ng]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗲𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀

❝ i wouldn’t find the need to tell you ‘i told you so’ if you weren’t so allergic to admitting i’m right—but by all means, keep walking into walls just to prove a point. ❞

❝ there are better hills to die on, but i’ve always had a flair for the dramatic, so this one? this one suits me just fine. ❞

❝ would you come with me? i know i could go alone, but everything feels a little less terrifying when you’re beside me. ❞

❝ that’s not the worst thing i’ve ever heard, but it’s definitely in the top ten—and i’ve been to family dinners. ❞

❝ i would love to help you, truly, but i’m currently suffering from a terminal case of 'not my problem' and my doctor says there’s no cure. ❞

❝ could you, for just one second, think about someone other than yourself? i’m not asking for a miracle—just a moment of humanity. ❞

❝ i’m not going to stand here and argue with you about how badly you need rest. when you crash, don’t expect me to catch you. ❞

❝ would you be a dear and shut the hell up? there’s only so much self-centered rambling a person can survive in one sitting. ❞

❝ i know i need help. i know. but asking for it feels like walking into battle without armor—give me a second to find the words. ❞

❝ do you know where we’re going? or are we just letting the chaos guide us now? ❞

❝ i’m trusting you with this. that’s not something i give away easily, so please—don’t make me regret it. ❞

❝ do you like it here? not the place—the moment. the quiet. me. ❞

❝ are you still happy? and i don’t mean surface-level smiles and small talk. i mean really, truly happy. with me. with this. ❞

❝ i didn’t lie to you. i just told the truth in a way that made it easier to swallow. if that’s betrayal, then maybe you never wanted honesty—just comfort. ❞

❝ do you even like spending time with me anymore? because lately, it feels like all we do is circle the same argument and call it conversation. ❞

❝ one of us is going to have to be honest eventually, and i’m starting to think it’s going to have to be me—again. ❞

❝ i want to tell you something. something real. something raw. but i keep getting caught in the storm of my own hesitation. ❞

❝ if you were the religious type, i think i’d still find a way to make you worship me. or at least remember me in your prayers. ❞

❝ don’t tell me to stop being dramatic. it’s the only thing that makes this unbearable mess of a life remotely entertaining. ❞

❝ were you ever going to tell me, or were you just hoping i’d eventually give up trying to read your mind? ❞

❝ i never needed you to fix me. i just needed you to stay when i was falling apart. but even that was too much, wasn’t it? ❞

❝ sometimes i think you love the version of me that only exists in your head. the quiet one. the easy one. the one who doesn’t talk back. ❞

❝ i’m tired of being the bigger person. it’s lonely up here and the view isn’t even worth it. ❞

❝ you don’t get to disappear and then waltz back in like you didn’t shatter something on your way out. ❞

❝ if you wanted to hurt me, congratulations. you did it with terrifying precision. ❞

❝ it’s not that i don’t care anymore—it’s just that caring has become exhausting. ❞

❝ i don’t know what we are anymore. i don’t know if we ever really knew. ❞

❝ you keep saying everything’s fine like you’re trying to hypnotize me into believing it. ❞

❝ loving you felt like setting myself on fire and pretending it was candlelight. ❞

❝ i keep telling myself it’ll get better, but i’m starting to wonder if that’s just another bedtime story i made up to survive. ❞

❝ you can’t just say ‘i’m sorry’ and expect everything to go back to the way it was. apologies aren’t time machines. ❞

❝ you left. and somehow, i’m still the one who feels guilty. ❞

❝ i didn’t push you away. you just stopped reaching out. there’s a difference. ❞

[drk1ng]

🐝  *  ―  𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑪 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  you've been my best friend for years, what made you think it would change now?  ❜ ❛  i'm always here for you if you need me.  ❜ ❛  well, that's what friends are for.  ❜ ❛  remember, i'm always just one call away.  ❜ ❛  how long have we known each other now? i know you better than you know yourself.  ❜ ❛  you're an idiot most of the time, but you're my idiot.  ❜ ❛  do you want to come over and watch movies tonight? i could use some company.  ❜ ❛  you always know how to cheer me up.  ❜ ❛  i made you your favorite food.  ❜ ❛  i know it's 2 a.m. but i really need someone to talk to. are you awake?  ❜ ❛  remember when we used to build blanket forts? let's do it again.  ❜ ❛  please come to this family dinner with me. my family already loves you and i need some neutral person there with me.  ❜ ❛  here, i got you something. i saw it at the shop and it reminded me of you.  ❜ ❛  do you remember that promise we made to each other when we were kids?  ❜ ❛  i'm so grateful to have you in my life. you mean the world to me.  ❜ ❛  i don't need advice right now, just a friend to listen.  ❜ ❛  you're the best friend one could ever ask for.  ❜ ❛  hey, umm ... thank you for being my friend.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to go through this alone. i'm here for you.  ❜ ❛  want to grab a coffee and catch up?  ❜ ❛  we may not talk every day anymore, but i still consider you my friend.  ❜ ❛  i can stay and help you finish this if you want.  ❜ ❛  you've got this. i believe in you!  ❜ ❛  how about we plan a game night this weekend?  ❜ ❛  do you ever wonder what our lives will be like in ten years?  ❜ ❛  no matter what happens, you'll always have me.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to pretend with me. i like you just the way you are.  ❜ ❛  consider it ... a little friendly competition.  ❜ ❛  thank you, you always know how to make me laugh.  ❜ ❛  i can't believe how far we've come together.  ❜ ❛  just stay put, i'll be over in a minute.  ❜ ❛  i've got us tickets for that concert/movies/exhibition you wanted to go to.  ❜ ❛  how about a road trip? just like old times ...  ❜ ❛  i really appreciate you staying in my life all these years.  ❜ ❛  i don't know what i'd do without you.  ❜ ❛  you can tell me if something is bothering you.  ❜ ❛  race you to the end of the street!  ❜ ❛  bet you can't beat me at this game. i'm a pro.  ❜ ❛  i challenge you to a cooking contest. loser has to buy dinner for the next week.  ❜ ❛  you've been such a great friend, and i just wanted to say thanks.  ❜

[drk1ng]

she hadn't needed to be taken care of in a long time. truly, she might not have needed to be taken care of now, but she wasn't going to deny that it was nice having someone check in. being sick always made her miss her mom. she didn't get sick often, and the rational side of her brain understood that her immune system had probably strengthened the longer she'd worked in healthcare, but part of her wanted to believe that something was just protecting her from the emotions she didn't have the energy to handle.

he'd brought her food, brought her water. he was staying. she knew she wasn't necessarily exciting company right now. she didn't want to take him away from his family, from his time off. he might have been joking when he'd said that she would feel better now that he was there, but there was some truth to that. THIS IS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR ── that's what they were. friends. he was a good friend to have.

leaning back against her pillows, she reaches out to take the glass of water. her throat feels raw, so the sip she takes goes down like lava, but she knew it was important to attempt to stay hydrated. her brain knows that, but the face she makes when she puts the glass back down is probably less than enthusiastic. " soup would probably be perfect right now, but the thought of eating sounds exhausting. " doctors made the worst patients, wasn't that the saying? " guess i should take something. i think there's tylenol in the bathroom? " she'd fallen asleep earlier, fever had broken, but it seemed to have returned with a vengeance. any other day, she probably would have been more self - conscious sending a friend to rummage through her place, but she didn't have many guards up at the moment.

" didn't save enough lives today, had to come save mine? " it's a poor attempt at humor ( and a poor attempt at asking what damage her absence during the day had left ), though she would argue that her usual sense of humor isn't much stronger. it might only be an attempt to gain the courage to ask more of him. " could you, uhm ── could you just stay for a little while? i don't want ── i know you probably want to go home, but . . . it's just nice to see you. " that might have been the fever talking, but she meant it.

i had been surprised when mel had texted me that she wasn't going to be in today. well ... surprised and concerned. in the time that i knew her she had rarely missed a day of work. always clocking in, dedicating herself fully to her job. it was admirable, really, to see her work. so she had to be feeling rough if she wasn't coming in today. i tried to just put my head down and do my work, but i found my mind drifting to my friend. the shift honestly wasn't bad, it passed by quick enough. sure, it was a little bit more busy because we were down a body but that's fine. i know she's probably worried about that, leaving us short.

maybe that's why i decided to make a pit stop at mel's place before going back to my apartment. first thing's first was grabbing her some soup on the way. when i arrived i had sent her a smile, raising the bag of soup and declaring that she'd be feeling better in no time now that a doctor was here, laugh slipping past my lips as i moved inside. of course she was going to say she was fine, i knew that. lucky for her i'm stubborn as hell.

i'm relieved that it's not too much of a fight to get mel back in bed. i instruct her from the door frame to stay put, shoulder leaning against the wood, fresh glass of water for her in my hand. at her thanks i shake my head from side to side, pushing myself upright and walking towards her bed. "don't thank me." i say as i set the glass of water on her bed side table. i take a few steps back, moving to sit on the very edge of her bed. i hope i'm not imposing, that this isn't too much, i'm perched towards the edge of the mattress just in case.

"this is what friends are for." mel looked up to me, i knew that. hell, it's not really a secret that i'd fallen into the role of her mentor. i'd done it on her first day at the pitt. i'd been worried that when i returned things would be awkward, tense ... that she'd no longer have any interest to learn from a doctor like me. mel had surprised me again by treating me like she had on her very first day. sure, i was her mentor ... but i was her friend too, and now i could be there for my friends. i'm going to take advantage of that every single time that i can. "i put the soup in the fridge ... are you sure you don't want me to heat some up for you? do you need any tylenol or something?" i hope my concern doesn't come across as overbearing. "abby's got the kids and the dog tonight, so i'm all yours if you need me, okay?"

[drk1ng]

The Pitt | 1:00 pm