drugs-and-affection - Tumblr blog

drugs-and-affection · 8 years ago

Text

I hope you read this, last note I will write to you.

I can't help the way I feel. If I could turn off my emotions I would, I would turn off the caring, the loving, the kindness and feel nothing towards you. I know it's over between us it has been, I tried so hard to make you love me again the way you did before but no you moved on. I hope one day you realize how much I cared and loved you. I was down for you and only you through your good times and your bad times, when you treated me like shit like I was nothing. I don't know if I was the 2nd option or that other girl cuz you made me feel so special and I held on to that because when I said I love you I meant it and I thought you did too, you talked about forever like we could make it through hell and back but I learned people change their mind, nothing is promised, and you have to put yourself first. What did I do to you to treat me like this? I just want some closure I hate not knowing where I stand in your life like what do you think of me? I think you didn't love me like you said you did because look how easy it was for you to leave me, and I'm still here. I want you but I don't need you. And don't think because I don't get into a relationship any time soon it's cuz I'm not over you no you taught me a lesson and I don't want to get hurt again or waste my time. I have a love/hate feeling towards you I love you there's no doubt in my mind I would do anything for you but I hate the kind of person you are, you have a lot growing up to do (coming from me that's not good) I hate that you're so stupid like open your eyes open your mind think a little! I wanted you to be the best you I wanted to do everything you liked I wanted you to succeed in everything I wanted the same for me but I guess I was wrong, I hate being wrong I hate that all my effort was for nothing. I have this weird feeling like we're still attached but we just can't be together and I hate it! I don't know whether to keep trying or wait for you to realize shit or just forget it cuz it's just a feeling it will fade away. Wish you the best I really do, I have bad thoughts to ruin you cuz I can but I don't it's not worth it I want you to be happy even if it's with a girl that your friends or cousins don't like and trying to get back with her kids dad, who cares you like her and that's what kills me that you hesitate between her and me but I don't deserve to be an option. How much of an idiot could you be? Like I am not saying pick me lets get back together lets get a place again no, not at all I am giving you your space let me help you get your shit together shit happened and will happen but what holds me back is that you don't want me anymore... I feel it, I can feel you think about her when your with me but I know you think about me when your with her. You say your confused I get it but I'm not I know I love you and We could be great, I'm not going to wait for you to make up your mind you hurt me too many times. People go through this heartbreak even worse they're married with kids and luckily we don't have anything that can keep us connected. Thanks for everything, ill probably wake up tomorrow hating you, cry in the afternoon, realize I shouldn't cry, be happy and get sad again. I'm so bipolar I'm confused too I just wish I could fast forward time to where you're just a memory.

7 notes · View notes

drugs-and-affection · 8 years ago

Photo