drunkenbard - Tumblr blog

[drunkenbard]

I blazed this post just to see what it did. Apparently $10 gets you 150 notes and 8 new bot followers.

Thanks Tumblr.

Nobody:

Some 40 year old white guy's shirt:

Never Mess With A Welder Who Was Born In December Who Likes Beer And Titties And Has A Really Hot Wife Who Bought Him This Shirt Because She Loves His Massive Schlong *skull with guns for teeth*

[drunkenbard]

sorry if i was weird the other day i'm but a conduit for powers as terrible as they are strange

[drunkenbard]

the gods receiving their offerings like

Vegetarian Heathen Hacks:

Make bread rolls in the shape of animals for offerings and feasts.

[drunkenbard]

At least there is precedence for convulsions or "fake seizures" with ecstatic religious experience so I think cops move on to the final round

cops having pretend seizures from touching drugs with gloves on VS white moms having pretend seizures from eating msg

cops having pretend seizures from touching drugs with gloves on VS christians having pretend seizures from speaking in tongues

[drunkenbard]

Okay I know I'm late to the party but I just stumbled across this feature and what? Hello??

If anyone needs me I'll be in my room making pretty rainbow swooshes and giggling like a maniac

[drunkenbard]

If you give this woman money, it will go to transphobic causes. If you give this woman a platform, she will use it to boost transphobic causes. This isn't a "well nobody's perfect" or "well x other creator also did something bad once" situation, this is an inordinate amount of influence for a creator to have, and supporting her by word or wallet actively hurts trans people.

[drunkenbard]

I don't give a shit if they call it a "kink" and we aren't supposed to "yuck someone's yum" but DDLG, age play, baby play, and anything that involves someone pretending to be a child as part of a sexual fantasy is fucking disgusting. It's just pedophilia with more steps.

[drunkenbard]

This might singlehandedly be the best idea for a sticker/shirt I've ever had

[drunkenbard]

[drunkenbard]

Ralph Foody on the set of “Angels With Filthy Souls,” the fictional gangster movie seen in Home Alone. circa 1990.

[drunkenbard]

The Lincoln County, MO Drug Task Force arrested a pirate.

When arrested he begged to walk the plank, he decorated a pontoon to sell drugs from. Which he required customers to say, “Ahoy matey, I come to purchase ye party favors.”

His nickname was Red Beard.

[drunkenbard]

tys ladies

[drunkenbard]

Nobody:

Some 40 year old white guy's shirt:

Never Mess With A Welder Who Was Born In December Who Likes Beer And Titties And Has A Really Hot Wife Who Bought Him This Shirt Because She Loves His Massive Schlong *skull with guns for teeth*

[drunkenbard]

seeing all the 14-17 y/o queer kids who don’t know what v for vendetta is…. u mean the blockbuster film written by two trans women about a masked vigilante who decides to singlehandedly take down a fascist alternate version of england set in the distant year of 2020… and his driving force was getting justice for a lesbian who he never met but whose diary he found, who was separated from her wife before being killed by said fascist gov…. and it stars natalie portman…. okay

[drunkenbard]

I bet octopuses think bones are horrific. I bet all their cosmic horror stories involve rigid-limbs and hinged joints.

[drunkenbard]

Now I'm questioning if it is actually Wednesday

you heathens will reblog day specific posts any day of the week. i woke up thinking it was wednesday