dtyfp2

[dtyfp2]

Two Weddings

The Great War

Ladies bustle in and out of your room.

Every time the door opens, Jaime sneaks a peek inside, slowly watching you become the beautiful bride he always knew you’d be. Every now and then you’d catch his eye and send him a smile. He remembers when you were young, when you were small enough to still be picked up, and out of the corner of his eye, he spies the little girl he once knew.

Tyrion had come earlier, able to snag you some honey bread that you gratefully ate.

The nerves you had yesterday were gone, you smile softly to yourself as your fingers brush your lips, where Robb had kissed you not so long ago.

“You look so beautiful Helen, like a princess,” Myrcella says in awe as she sits in front of you.

“Thank you Myrcella, one day you shall be an even more beautiful bride,” you smile as you cup her face in your hands. You pull her in and press a kiss to her cheek, as she giggles and complains of the tickles.

“May I have a moment alone with the princesses?” Your mother from the door asks. The maids stop their bustling and file out, leaving only you with your mother. Myrcella sits on your bed and plays with the jewels.

“You have grown so much, little dove,” your mother sighs as she fixes your hair. You’re sat in front of the vanity, looking up at her reflection.

“The bards will sing of your beauty on this day for generations to come,” she says softly as she looks at you through the mirror, bending down so her face is level with yours.

“It’s not too late to call it off, sweetheart, if the Stark boy isn’t to your liking then you do not need to marry. Say the word, and I will take you from this place,” your mother says as she holds your hands.

“Mother, there are so many people that have come all this way-“ you laugh, for nothing could ruin this day.

“It doesn’t matter. You are the princess, you are my daughter, you don’t have to marry so soon,” she says as she wraps her arms around your shoulders.

“But I want to, mother, I want to marry Robb. I have dreams of the life we will have, envision happiness and joy. I will have a happy marriage, he will be a comely husband, mother, I’ve seen it,” you tell her, eyes glazing over as if in another place. Your mother’s face softens as she presses a kiss to your temple.

“Good, my dear, I am glad you think so…my darling little girl…a woman grown before my very eyes,” she laments as you rub her arms.

“It was always bound to happen,” you laugh, forcing a smile from her as well.

A knock on the door draws you both from your thoughts.

This time, it is your father.

You stand to greet him, fixing your dress before finally looking up at him. He has tears in his eyes.

“Oh, Helen, you look heavenly, even the Maiden would envy you,” your father boasts as he comes to press a kiss to your cheek, making you laugh as his beard tickles you.

Your mother takes Myrcella, so they can go find their seats. Jaime accompanies them, and he’s replaced by Ser Barristan.

“You have been so understanding, my Helen, I know you have dreams of marrying for love-“

“I am, father, you have kept your promise to me,” you assure him, cutting him off before he can fall to deeply into his regret. He nods, an obvious weight lifted off his shoulders as he unravels a large cloak.

It has the Baratheon sigil, the sigil of your father.

“No matter what happens, you will always be a Baratheon, a Princess of the Seven Kingdoms, and my daughter. No marriage will ever change that,” he says as he drapes his name over your shoulders.

“Ours is the Fury, my dear, and you must never settle, mustn’t ever go down without a fight. Ours is the Fury, give the boy hell, eh?” He chuckles as he holds your face in his hands. He remembers when he could hold your entire body in his one hand, now he sends you off to be married.

“I will,” you laugh, blinking away the tears as he presses another kiss to your forehead.

“You make me so proud, Helen, you have every single day. You are good and kind, I sometimes wonder how such a beautiful thing like you had ever come from a man like me. I am proud to be your father, my love, all I have done has been worth it because it led me to you,” your father says as he envelops you into a warm hug.

“I love you too, father,” you sniffle as you tuck yourself deeper into his embrace. He presses another kiss to your cheek before readying himself.

He offers you his arm to begin the walk to the courtyard, so you could be married in front of the Seven.

Ser Barristan opens the door, and smiles softly.

“How do I look, Ser Barristan?” You ask as you smooth out the dress.

“As beautiful as I’ve ever seen, Princess,” he says softly, stepping back to allow you and your father out. You send Ser Barristan a smile before you start walking.

The castle is empty for everyone is outside for the wedding. It had been a beautiful day, the snows had stopped and the sun had shone brightly as if it knew what today was. The sun was beginning to set now, a heavenly golden hue lighting up your way.

Balerion flies above when you step outside, screeching as if to wish you luck.

There is an altar right outside the church, which Ned Stark had built specially for Catelyn. All stand to greet you as you walk past, holding tightly to your father as you were afraid you might fall. There were many people here, more than you realized would be. But your family sits in the front row, and Nymeros sits behind them. The friendly and familiar faces did much to calm your nerves.

Robb stands before you, dressed in his best. He smiles when he sees you, a smile you return, content at last.

Before the Altar, your father presses a kiss to your knuckle before letting go, allowing you to reach for Robb’s hand as the Priest prays over you both.

He takes your cloak off, handing it off to Tommen who scurries over to take it. You smile at your little brother as he runs back, pleased to have done his job so well. Robb unravels his own Cloak, the cloak with his own house, and drapes it over your shoulders, taking you under his love and protection. You look up at him as he does, and he lifts your hand to press a kiss upon your fingers.

You face the priest once more, kneeling and bowing your head as he says a couple prayers over you.

“You look so beautiful,” he whispers quietly as he dares to take a peek at you. You smile softly to yourself as you continue your prayers.

Robb is pleased, and bows his head too to pray. The new gods were his mother’s gods, he knelt and prayed to appease her, but his were the old. To him, the real wedding would be in front of the weirwood tree.

As he prays, he notices your hand shake a bit, and he gently reaches over to place his hand over yours. You peek over at him and smile gratefully, a sight Sansa awes at as she watches you both.

“Let it be known, that Princess Helen of House Baratheon and Robb of House Stark are one heart, one flesh, one soul…” the priest begins as he wraps a cloth around your intertwined hands.

“…cursed be those who seek to tear them asunder!”

“With this kiss, I pledge my love,” Robb smiles as he looks down at you.

“With this kiss, I pledge my love,” you repeat happily, unable to keep your smile off your face.

He leans in and presses a kiss to your lips. You can hardly hear the claps and the cheers over your own heart beating.

They sweep you into the great hall of Winterfell, where music plays and food is brought out. You dance with your father, Ned Stark, Benjen Stark, force Ser Barristan, Nymeros, each of your uncles, you manage to order Jon even, Tommen, Myrcella, and Robb.

You manage a moment alone, standing in front of the bards as they play their music.

“Princess, would you like us to play anything?” They ask once they notice your attention. You nod and ask them to play your favourite song, Jenny of Oldstones.

You close your eyes as you listen to them play. You hoped your marriage would be as full of love as the relationship between Prince Duncan and Jenny was. Minus the tragedy.

“It’s time for the second ceremony,” your father says as the music comes to a slow end. You look back for Robb, who sends you a quick smile before heading out first.

This ceremony is smaller and quicker. Only your families and a few of the northern lords and ladies. But it feels as real as the first, especially to Robb.

You don’t return to the Hall with everyone, instead you and Robb are directed to his room. There was some talk of a bedding ceremony but firstly, Robb wouldn’t hear of it, secondly, neither would you nor your father. To be honest, Robb did not have much to do with planning the wedding, but he insisted on only one thing.

It is awkward in his room, you sit at his desk and slowly remove your extra jewelry. You knew what was expected of you now, your mother had prepared you, but you did not know what to do now.

“Will you help me with the buttons?” You ask Robb as you stand. He gets up rather quickly and nods, almost stumbling as he makes his way over to you. You turn around and let him unbutton along your back.

“There’s a million of them, I’m afraid,” you try to joke.

“I’m quite good with buttons,” he assures you, amusement laced in his tone.

He helps unbutton you until you’re in the final silken gown. His hands linger by your shoulders and you can’t help but lean back into him.

“I felt like the luckiest man alive when I first saw you walk down that aisle. I don’t think Westeros has ever seen a more beautiful bride,” he tells you as you raise your hand to lay over his.

“You’re trying to flatter me,” you laugh.

“Helen… I have no expectation to do anything tonight. We won’t do anything you don’t want to do,” he tells you as you turn around to face him.

“I…I want to, I mean it is tradition,” you mumble sheepishly. You fit into his embrace easily, your hands interlace around his neck while his hands hold your waist.

“Have you ever…” you trail off.

“Once or twice,” he admits. You aren’t sure how to feel about it, disappointed? Ignorant to it?

“Have you?” He asks, to which you shake your head.

“Do you think I’ll like it?” You ask, unsure of yourself.

“Gods I hope so,” he smiles, which forces a laugh from you.

“I don’t know what to do. I hate not knowing what to do,” you admit to him.

“I can show you…if you want me to,” he says softly, his thumb raising to brush your lip.

“I want you to,” you nod. You hadn’t even noticed he was slowly guiding you towards the bed. He sits across so he’s facing you, but close enough where his hand is over yours, and he’s already leaning in.

“We can figure out what you like together, Princess,” he says as he lays gentle kisses along your cheek and jaw.

“And we can go slow?” You ask as you bite your lip.

“As slow as you’d like, my lady.”

[dtyfp2]

Release

Evermore

Instead of standing before the Amyrlin, like all the Aes Sedai who were sent on that accursed mission were summoned to do, you leave the tower.

You go off to find Loial, the only Ogier in Tar Valon, an old and dear friend.

“Gael Atreides, your name sings in my ear, what can I do for you, Sun Summoner?” Loial asks with a smile as you enter his small book shop.

“Loial, son of Arent, son of Halan, you honour me,” you manage a weak smile as you take a seat in front of him.

“What has happened, my lady? Have you been injured?” Loial asks as he takes in your fatigue.

“I’ve come to beg a favour of you, my dear friend,” you tell him, biting your lip as you consider your choice.

“The Ogier shall always be a friend to the Sun Summoner,” he nods.

“Will you take me to your home? Take me to a stedding, please. I need to get away from the source, this magic…it’s playing tricks on me,” you tear up, your hands coming up to cover your ears.

“I’m afraid, Loial, that I’m going mad. There is a darkness in me now and I can’t get it out. I dream every day and night, I have to get away from it or I’m afraid of what I might do. I know that I ask much of you, Loial, but I am so afraid,” you weep, leaning into the friendly Ogier when he opens his arms for you.

“My lady is born of light itself, darkness shan’t ever touch you,” Loial says, though he gently rubs your back in pity.

“I can feel it rip my heart out of my chest. I will never ask anything else of you, please, you must take me through the way gate. I don’t know what else to do,” you whimper.

“Whatever my lady asks of me, I will do. There is no ask to great. Would you like me to inform your warder?” He asks you as you raise your head.

“My warder? How do you know about my warder?” You sniffle as Loial hands you a tissue.

“The boy has told me himself. He, too, had come to ask if I knew of any remedy. It is quite a story actually, he came to me for help, yet found his friends upstairs-“

“Gael,” you hear your name from the doorway.

You hadn’t seen Aemon since Stepin’s funeral. He had found you not long after Lan. He bathed you and held you. At the wedding, you couldn’t bare to look at him. You were so afraid, so afraid he would be the next warder laying dead like that. He had laid a hand on your shoulder but you shrugged it off, pretending like you were so lost in your grief as you knelt beside Lan, quietly praying for Stepin’s soul. You wished him a peaceful next life with Kerene, a quiet life, far from the politics of the White Tower, far from all this grief.

You had shut your room door in his face when he followed after you. Now, you were both here.

“I thought you would be seen by the Amyrlin,” he speaks, his eyes full of sorrow.

You only shake your head, unable to say much else.

“Loial, will you give us a moment? I think Nynaeve was looking for you,” Aemon asks the Ogier. The gentle giant stands and goes, leaving you on the couch as Aemon comes to sit with you.

Kerene and Stepin’s deaths hang heavy over you. It hang heavy over every Aes Sedai and Warder in the white tower.

“What were you asking Loial?” He asks, and for some reason, you are happy he hadn’t heard your previous request.

“Gael, please, I need you too,” he whispers as he takes your hand in his.

“I…I feel nothing, I feel nothing and everything at the same time. It’s killing me,” you cry as Aemon gently kisses your wrist.

“You feel nothing? Even when I do this?” He asks, lowering your hand so it rested on his chest, over his heart. You shake your head. Before, you would’ve felt warmth and peace, but now you felt hollow and empty.

He opens his mouth to speak, but a yell from upstairs distracts you.

“What did Loial mean when he said you found friends?” You ask, wondering what trouble he has found himself in.

“My friends, from the Two Rivers. They’ve found their way to Tar Valon,” he tells you.

“Have you told Moiraine?” You ask, every word exhausting you.

“No, somethings wrong with Mat. Nynaeve thinks he’s only sink, Rand thinks it’s madness-“

“Aemon,” you pull your hands back, surprise and shock etched over your face.

“He’s not going mad, Gael, I know it. I’ve seen madness in men, and this isn’t it. It’s…it’s something else, I swear it,” he promises as you look toward the staircase.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask him.

“How could I tell you this when you’ve already had so much going on? I can barely feel our bond anymore, I have no idea what I can tell you anymore,” he defends.

“Take me to him, let me see,” you sigh. Aemon glances at you, as if he’s unsure for a moment, before nodding. He helps you up and leads you upstairs, to a room with 2 beds and 2 boys.

“Nynaeve, you’re back soon-“ a red haired boy says as he gets up. His face tightens when he looks at you, a stranger.

“Rand, this is Gael. She’s the woman I’ve told you about. We can trust her,” Aemon tells his friend.

“Gael?”

“Rand?” You both question simultaneously. Aemon had described Rand to you, but he did look quite different than what you were expecting.

You walk over to Mat, peering over him.

“You’re right, I don’t think it’s madness at least,” you confirm.

“Can you fix him?” Rand asks as he comes around to Mat’s other side. He looks up at you as Aemon comes up behind you. You are pretty, he thinks, he understands a bit why Aemon seems to like you so much.

“I don’t know-“

You gasp as Mat lunges at you with a knife. With weaves of air, you hold the knife, not daring to touch it. Darkness radiated off it in waves. There was only one place that had darkness like this.

“You foolish boy, you took this from Shadar Lagoth, didn’t you?” Your eyes widen as Aemon harshly shoves Mat back. You look over at Rand for confirmation, but he’s too busy putting the pieces together.

“There is a darkness in him now. Shadar Lagoth is cursed, how did you ever end up there?” You ask Rand, demanding answers.

“We were chased. I didn’t know he took the knife, I swear,” Rand promises, mostly to Aemon who had surely asked him everything about his journey.

“Gael, do you think you can help him?” Aemon asks you. You’re still holding the knife, inspecting it.

“I can try. I have to take on the darkness itself, let it pass over me and back into the knife,” you explain. The darkness was calling to you. The darkness that was inside Mat, was very much alike to the one inside of you. You could feel it.

“Gael, that’s too much of a risk. You’re too weak, too important. We’ll find someone else to do it,” Aemon shakes his head.

“There is no one else that can endure the Shadar Lagoths treachery. They betrayed me in a past life, and now I am light itself, the only opposite to its reign of terror,” you mumble, so quietly that not even Aemon can hear you.

“Hold him down,” you order.

“Gael-“

“Aemon, please, just hold him down,” you plead. He looks hesitant, but decides to trust you. You weren’t so far gone from him that he wouldn’t trust you with his best friends life.

He and Rand both hold a writhing Mat down. With a shaky breath, you summon weaves of light with one hand as you extract the darkness from Mat. It moves statically around your arm before engulfing your face, you are sweating with exertion. Once the darkness is on you, you’re groaning as it latches onto whatever was inside you. It’s only when you feel Aemon’s hand on your back, steadying you, when you force the darkness over you. You hold your breath as you converge all that darkness into the knife, before letting it drop.

You hunch over, lungs gasping for air as you stumble toward the balcony. Aemon covers the knife, warning a frightened looking Rand not to touch the knife before he chases after you. You’re sat on a small bench, breathing heavily as the cool breeze blows your hair.

“Gael?” He asks as he kneels before you, his hands grabbing onto your face, looking for any sign that you were hurt, or any worse than before.

“Is it gone, that remaining darkness?” He asks as you take a shaky breath and open your eyes. Already, he sees, you look unburdened, like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

You nod.

All should be well, but you still looked sad.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see it before, Gael, how much pain you were in. Our bond was weakened during the attack, it was made weak after Stepin and Kerene. Let me back in, let me share your burdens. Please,” he begs quietly. When he had come to Loial, to ask if he knew anything that might help you, he had come across a book that mentioned that bonds could weakened after moments of severe trauma. While most Aes Sedai-Warder bonds did not have to be reinforced, perhaps yours did. When that darkness took you over, it weakened your light, the very light of the Soldat Sol bond.

“I can’t,” you voice wavers, though you can’t help the way you lean into his hands, closing your eyes as if to comfort yourself.

“You can, Gael, I want you to,” he shakes his head, forcing you to look at him.

“What have you seen that scares you so much?” He asks as your hands lay over his.

“I’ve seen you die before my eyes a thousand times over. These weren’t just dreams, Aemon, they were visions from our past lives. Every turn of the wheel, we have been together, and in every turn we lose each other. Sometimes it’s me, sometimes it’s you,” you manage to choke out. Your eyes are so filled to the brim with tears that you can’t even see him properly. With a blink, they stream down your face.

“It makes me happy, Gael, to know what I have lived every single one of my lives with you,” he says as he sits beside you.

“Theres no one else I’d rather be with throughout the ages,” he says softly as his forehead leans on yours. His hands, still on your face, gently tilt your face up. Through your tears, he presses a kiss to your lips. The first since Kerene was murdered.

“I love you, let me back in,” he whispers against you. You shake your head but he only kisses you again.

Perhaps it was the sleep deprivation, but you selfishly let him back in. Between light feathery kisses, a weave of light reforms around you both.

Once the bond is back, you feel right. You hate yourself a little for letting it happen, but all those feelings dissipate when he presses a kiss to your temple and pulls you into a hug. Maybe it was him rubbing off on you again.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so horrid,” you apologize as you lay a hand on his chest. Yes, this time you felt something.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he shakes his head as he pats your head. His fingers run through your hair until they settle on your necklace, his mother’s necklace. Despite all you had been through, even when he begun to doubt your feelings for him, you had never taken it off. It was his saving grace, the only thing that told him to hold on, because you still wore his mother’s necklace.

“I love you too, you know that right?” You ask him.

“I know,” he confirms. He smiles softly at you, rubbing the point between your tightly furrowed brows. He wipes your remaining tears as Rand steps back.

The shimmer of your necklace catches his eye as he looks between you and Aemon. He begins to understand your relationship a bit more.

“I saw the darkness move over you. You really took that on for Mat?” He asks as he leans on the railing.

“A friend of Aemon’s is a friend of mine,” you tell him.

“Thank you,” Rand says sincerely. The door opens and closes once more, this time it’s Moiraine and Lan.

“Gael? You look better,” Lan smiles happily as he kneels before you, taking your face in his hands in an almost paternal way.

“I feel better,” you admit.

“So this means you’ve found a way to get rid of the darkness then? You are well?” Moiraine asks as she sticks the back of her cold hand to your forehead.

“Yes, fixed Mat as well,” you tell them.

“Show off,” Lan smirks.

“How’s Siuan? Was she angry I wasn’t there?” You ask Moiraine.

“She’s fine, you know her. She was worried about you, gave her quite the fright, gave us all,” Moiraine says, though she’s so happy you are well. You know she is, despite her facade.

“You rest today. We have another meeting with the Amyrlin tomorrow, you can see her then. I’ll let her know,” she assures you. You nod, just now realizing you hadn’t slept for nearly 2 days.

“Glad to have you back, kid,” Lan smiles as he stands, fighting back to urge to kiss the top of your head. Aemon helps you up as Nynaeve and Loial come back. You don’t get to hear their conversation as Aemon lays you down on the bed beside Mat.

“Get some sleep, Sankta, I’ll be here when you wake,” he promises. He leans down and presses one more kiss to your lips, like he can’t even believe you’re you in front of him.

He gets up to join the others, and despite the little bickering you can hear, sleep overtakes you like a wave crashing onto the beach.

Bonus:

“She’s wearing your mother’s necklace,” Rand mentions as he, Nynaeve, and Aemon all sit together on the floor of the small room, eating bits of food Loial brought up for them. Aemon was just considering if he should wake you to eat or not, but he supposes not now.

“She is,” Aemon nods as he breaks some bread.

It had been a long time since he had seen his friends, but they all meshed together like no time had passed. The first night after Aemon found them, he had told them everything. He told them everything about his father, his family’s history, why he had left so quickly. Rand was unsure when he first heard, he didn’t trust the Aes Sedai, but Aemon’s explained it all well enough.

He was glad to know his friend hadn’t changed. When Nynaeve came, he asked about the Aes Sedai his best friend had bonded himself too, and when Nynaeve confirmed everything he had said, Rand knew he could trust him.

“So she’s better now? Nynaeve said she was…having a rough go of it,” Rand asks.

“She is. Rand, I want you to know nothings changed. I’m still who I was. It’s not that I trust all the Aes Sedai, but you understand it’s different with Gael, don’t you? You can trust her, she’s on our side,” Aemon tells him.

“I know. I trust you enough to trust her, and especially seeing what she did with Mat…how couldn’t I?” Rand asks rhetorically.

Aemon nods as he continues eating.

“So are you keeping that beard or…….?”

[dtyfp2]

Grief

Evermore

It’s been a month since you’ve buried Kerene.

Aemon can’t even recognize the person you’ve become. Nynaeve says it’s the grief, that it’ll fade a bit eventually, but Aemon knows it’s more. There’s a piece of darkness still inside. Moiraine says the healers of the Tower will be able to help.

She doesn’t sleep, her nightmares keeping her awake all day and night. Her visions, the ones she never told anyone about, he could feel before that they were pleasant, but now they were horrifying.

She avoids him during the day, but when she wakes up screaming, she’ll only settle back down if he holds her.

“Have you spoken to her?” Nynaeve asks, drawing him from his thoughts. You were riding ahead of him alongside Stepin while he hung back with Nynaeve.

“I try, but it’s like she doesn’t even hear me,” he admits.

“You Warders can feel what they feel sometimes, can’t you?” She asks him, to which he nods.

“There’s no stronger bond in this world than an Aes Sedai and her warder. But it’s different with us, she is the Sun Summoner and I’m her Soldat Sol, our bond is stronger than the average bond,” Aemon tells her. When he first told Nynaeve that he was a bonded Warder, she chew him out, asking how he could think to do such a thing. To her credit though, Nynaeve was a bit more understanding when he explained it all.

“I still don’t really know what that means,” she admits.

“Neither do I sometimes, but we figure it out,” he chuckles.

“You trust me, don’t you?” He asks her.

“Yes, of course I do,” she nods easily.

“I know you don’t trust the Aes Sedai, I don’t either, I don’t know if I ever will. But Gael is…she’s different, she’s with me, with us. You know that, don’t you?” He asks her.

“I know, but I think she has bigger problems than us right now,” Nynaeve tells him softly.

You ride alongside Stepin, and you bite your lip as you look over at him.

“Stepin, you’ll let me bond you as a Warder before you do anything stupid, won’t you?” You ask him, your lip quivering as you do. Your vision goes blurry with tears, but you blink them away.

“Gael-“ he says in a tone that makes you weep.

“No, no Stepin just say you will,” you cry.

“Gael, sweetheart, you don’t need me as your warder,” he says softly.

“You’re wrong, I do need you. You know me, I’m a handful, I need you to keep me safe,” you sniffle. He guides your horse off the beaten path and climbs off, motioning for you to do the same.

“Oh, my dear Gael, you’ll be alright,” he murmurs as he envelopes you into a hug.

“Stepin, just say you will,” you weep, your tears wetting his coat.

The rest of the group passes by slowly. Aemon waits for you a bit ahead.

“You have grown into such a beautiful young woman. Sometimes when I look at you I remember the little girl you once were, who would have Alanna or some other do your hair in a pretty way and then come running to show us. You’re going to do so many beautiful things in life, Kerene and I both knew you would. I am so proud, and so honoured to have watched you grow up, to have been a little part of that,” he tells you.

“Stop saying goodbye,” you sob as you hold him closer.

“If I promise to think about it, will you try to lighten up? I know you grieve Kerene, but you’ve been so sad, Gael, I can’t remember the last time I went this long without seeing your smile,” he says softly as he wipes your tears.

“Will you really think about it?” You ask.

“I will, for you, I will. Don’t worry about me, Gael, Lan and the others watch over me just fine. Once we get to Tar Valon, go to the yellow sisters and see if they can do anything for you, hm?” He says as he holds your face. You nod in agreement, unable to find the words.

“You shouldn’t be taking care of me, I should be taking care of you,” you sniffle.

“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart, it makes me feel useful again,” he smiles softly. He presses a kiss to your forehead and embraces you once more before helping you up onto your horse.

When you catch up to the others, they’re preparing for the parade. You won’t be joining the parade however. No one thought you should have to.

Instead, you’d take the backroad with Moiraine, Lan, Nynaeve, and Aemon and head straight to the Tower.

Once off your horse, you fall to your knees in exhaustion. Aemon has to carry you inside. Once inside, Moiraine tells him to bring you to the yellow sisters. He glances at Nynaeve, but she gives him an affirmative nod, so he goes.

He hated leaving Nynaeve, but his priority would always be you.

Once in the yellow quarters, you’re laid out of a table while they peer over you. He does his best to explain, tells them what Moiraine thinks has happened, and he sits by your side while the yellow ajah tinkers around you. He reaches for your hand, but you pull it back, turning your face away from him so he wouldn’t see your tears.

He stands silently, looking down at you for a moment before leaving. You sigh a shaky breath when he does.

You must lay there for hours while your sisters tried, but they hadn’t come up with anything. They promised to keep trying, though, but you left with more questions than answers.

It is night when they let you go.

You lean on the wall as you proceed to your room. You wish for the comfort of your bed after months of nothing but hardness.

You pass by the warder statues and you think you see something. Curiosity gets the better of you as you change direction.

“Light, Stepin, what have you done?” You gasp as you fall before him.

Stepin, strong Stepin, Stepin who would run and play with you, was now knelt with a knife in his gut.

“Gael,” he sputters out.

“Stepin, you promised you’d think about it,” you weep as you take in the scene before you.

“I can fix this, let me fix this. I can heal it, I’ll bind you as my warder-“

“Kerene is waiting for me,” he says simply, stopping your rambling with a silent shush.

“Stepin…” you cry as you as he grabs your hands.

“It has been my honour to watch you grow up, my dear Gael, and I’m so sorry to leave you like this,” he heaves out.

“But this is a part of life, you have to let me go. This is what I want, this is how I want to go, I have to go. Kerene is waiting for me,” he tells you intently. He gets weaker by the moment.

You shake your head as he squeezes your hands.

“Will you grant an old man his final wish, little Sun Summoner? Show me the fire works again, one last time,” he whispers.

Left helpless once more, you can only wipe your tears. You take a deep breath and conjure your weaves of light, balls of them exploding into pretty fragments of light. Stepin watches the light as you watch him. You try to commit his face to memory, every hair, ever contour, the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles.

He smiles when the light touches his face, his eyes closed as he feels the suns embrace. He is content, happy to go, happy to chase after Kerene again.

“Thank you,” he breathes out, one final time.

Childish laughter fill the tower, the sisters swiftly moving out of your way as you run down the halls, smiling softly to themselves. They had never realized how quiet the tower was, not until the child they brought livened it up.

“You better run faster, Gael, I’m right behind you,” Stepin sings as he reaches out to tickle your sides. You scream as you pick up your pace, running past the brown quarters.

As you turn the corner, Stepin loses sight of you just for one moment. In that one singular moment, he hears a thump. Then a cry.

“Oh, Gael, what happened?” Stepin coos as he kneels beside you, your knees and palms scrapped to hell. It was obvious you had tripped over a bucket left by one of the novices.

He is quick to pick you up, holding you rather awkwardly as he jogs to the Greens, his pace quickening every time you cry.

Kerene hears you before she sees you, her studies interrupted by her warder.

“Now, Gael, didn’t I warn you to be more careful,” she tuts as Stepin places you on the table before her. She makes quick work to heal your knees, taking her time to do your palms.

“I tripped,” you explain, your tears subsiding as the pain does. Now, there are only a few stray tears left on your cheeks, and your obvious pout. Kerene glances over at Stepin and bites back an amused smile, her usually easy going warder is pacing behind her, biting on his nails.

“Accidents happen, don’t worry about it. Just be more careful next time, alright?” Kerene warns, though she isn’t all that sure who she’s reassuring, you or her warder behind her. You nod in agreement as she heals your palms. She wipes your tears and finds a sweet in her pocket. She always carried a sweet in her pocket for you.

You hop off the table and dust your hands off. You look up at Stepin and hand him the lolli, silently asking him to unwrap it for you. He gives you a playful look, like he’s accusing you of getting him into trouble. As he unwraps the sweet, you smack his knee and run off again.

“You’re still it!” You call over your shoulder, earning you a shush from the brown sister in charge of the library. Paying no mind to your blood stained dress, you take off down the hall once more, Stepin hot on your heels.

When his body comes limp, you weep as you cradle his body. His blood stains your dress and clothes but you don’t care, you hold him, feeling him go cold.

“Stepin,” you whisper, brushing out the lines of his face. When you receive no answer, you drop your head as sobs wrack through your body.

By the time Lan finds you, Stepin is cold and you’re nearly as pale as the man whose head rests in your lap.

[dtyfp2]

Nightmares

Evermore

“Lews has done this?” You ask in shock, unable to process the words as they sit in front of you.

“You must stop him, Santa Soleil. You’re the only one with power that rivals his. If you cannot…the world is lost,” they tell you. You glance over beside you, Ubbe re-reads the letter and tosses it onto the table as he leans back and sighs. He looks up at you and nods his head solemnly. He knows what he must do, just as you know what you must.

“Where is he?”

You wake with a hard jerk, hard enough that you accidentally hit your head on the wall.

Your head throbs and your heart beats erratically. It’s dark out, you can’t even remember the last days travels, you had been so out of it-lost in the visions that turned your eyes white. You hadn’t eaten, but you still had no appetite.

Aemon does not lay beside you like he does every night, instead, he’s asleep in a chair. It looks rather uncomfortable, you knew he’d complain about his back later. You quietly sit up and look at him.

You had been hard on him, since Kerene…since the attack. You couldn’t help yourself.

Tears prick your eyes as you look upon his face. Visions and memories of your past lives flicker, you remember all the faces he had once worn, faces you had loved and lost once. In every life you had ever lived, Aemon was by your side. He had different names and wore different faces and had different purposes in every life, but he lived his with you. In some, you followed him, but in most-he followed you. You remember the way he looked at you, eyes changing colour in every life…and you remember the tragedy that nearly always befell you both.

You want to reach out to wake him, ask him to hold you so you can hold him too, but you don’t. Instead, you silently leave the tent, breathing in the cold air. You wake a bit into the woods, kneeling by a tree, the short walk already winding you.

With some struggle, you weave strings of light from deep within, hoping you’d be able to remove the remaining darkness yourself, but you can’t. Moiraine thinks there is a hint of darkness left over, not expunged when Aemon had stabbed you. She thinks the White Tower will have answers, she hopes it, but you know they won’t. You had never come across a monster like that in all your readings, it was like the Dark One had created it specially just for you.

This was beyond what the other Aes Sedai would know of, let alone heal.

Once the exhaustion takes hold, you sit and breathe and listen. The wind had always sounded so pleasant to you, it sung you songs and whispered well wishes, but now it felt hollow. It was foreboding, bare, and it frightened you.

“You should have woken me,” Aemon startles you as he comes to sit beside you. He leans back against the tree. He doesn’t look at you, it hurts him too much, and sometimes you get angry with him. Some days talking seems to exhaust you, other days you are filled with rage.

You had argued with him the day before last. In your anger, you had threatened to release the bond, he had looked hurt but told you to do whatever you wanted. Of course, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. But, you blocked the connection enough so that he couldn’t feel what you felt, nor could you feel him. You probably should, perhaps it would save his life if you did. After that, your exhaustion took over, the visions took over and you lost an entire day. You’re sure Nynaeve has come up with some concoction to help you sleep too.

Before all this, you and Aemon never argued, it made a pit form in your stomach when you recalled his face. But of course, despite the fact you were both as stubborn as mules, Aemon relented first. He always did, he always would when it came to you. He was still always there, his presence was the only reason you could sleep most nights.

His hand tentively shifts off his knee and onto yours, giving it a light squeeze as you bite the inside of your cheek. His forgiveness did not make you feel any better.

“What is it?” He asks when he dares to glance over at you, when you didn’t immediately shove his hand away. You hadn’t realized that silent tears streaked your face.

“Gael?” His eyebrows furrow as he shifts his body toward you. One of his hands raise up to cup your face, his thumb gently wiping the tears away.

You can’t help the visions that come next, versions of your love dying before your very eyes. When you come to, there is an axe lodged into his forehead. You feel so helpless. When you blink next, the axe is gone. Your hand, which was balled into a fist in your lap, raises to touch his forehead, like you can’t even believe it was real.

His hand raises to catch your wrist, dragging your open palm down his face. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch, turning his head so he can press a kiss to your fingertips.

“Gael, you can talk to me,” he silently pleads. He wishes to share the burden of your visions, to talk you down from all the horrors you’re surely experiencing.

But you can’t bring yourself to say it.

Every night, you lose him. Every night, you can feel the madness seeping deeper. You can’t bring yourself to say it, as if you’d be speaking it into existence.

When you don’t say anything, he sighs deeply. He hardly recognizes you anymore.

“Okay,” he says softly.

The sound of his dejected voice breaks you even more. You lean away and push yourself up, labouring back to camp. Aemon doesn’t offer to help, knowing that you’d only reject him like you had done before.

Once back inside the tent, you lie back down. You look so small, Aemon thinks, curled up into a ball and tucked tight into one corner of the bed.

He lies down beside you and pulls you into his arms, his nose tucked gently into your hair where he takes a slow breath.

At night, in this bed, is the only time he gets to hold you. This is the closest he gets to having you anymore. Your fingers reach out and grab into one of his. The slightest bit of affection that lets him know you aren’t completely gone from him.

Then the cries come. You cry and cry all night until you fall asleep.

And Aemon can’t do a single thing about it.

[dtyfp2]

Attack

Evermore

By the time morning comes, you had spent all night pouring over the little book Aemon had given you. Some of it was actually legible, if you looked at it hard enough. Most was information lost to time. You had wanted to show him, but he had fallen asleep sometime throughout the night and you didn’t want to wake him.

Liandrin and Kerene come to take over for you, and that’s when you wake Aemon and drag him outside.

“The book, Aemon, I’ve read it! The last summoner had scribbled a small weave in here!” You tell him, grabbing and shaking onto his arm as if to convey your joy. Despite the fact you hadn’t slept a wink all night, you were as alive as he’d ever seen you.

“What is it?” He asks, still wiping the sleep from his face.

“Take out your weapons, lay them on the ground,” you instruct. He gives you a look but does it anyway. He feels naked without his weapons, he glances over his shoulder just in case. His heron marked sword, the axe he had on his hip, the knife his father once wielded. You kneel down and open the book to the right page.

An intricate weave of pure light, spun and woven over top of each other a hundred times, weaves that enter into his blade, leaving a sun imprint at the bottom of the metal.

“What was that?” He asks as he picks up his sword, his fingers gently touching the little sun that appeared before his eyes.

“The last summoned imbedded some of her own light into the swords held by her Soldat sol. It was a symbol of their legitimacy. Someone wrote in this after she was gone, said that the light inside was able to fight against the dark,” you tell him, rambling off as you point to words in the book.

“You are my Soldat Sol, if you fight for the light then so will your weapons,” you tell him.

He picks up his weapons and puts them away.

“Do you know how it works?” He asks as he spins the knife in his hand.

“No, but we’ll figure it out,” you shrug as you stand and dust the dirt off your pants.

“I’m sure we will,” he chuckles, happy just to see you so happy. He presses a kiss to your temple before wrapping an arm around you, continuing the short walk back to camp.

“The wind sounds off today,” you comment offhandedly as a strange chord hits your ear. You’re close to camp, close enough that you can hear the chatter of everyone starting their day.

Then, like a pang to the heart, you can feel one of the wards you put out be breached.

“Aemon, someone’s coming, something’s coming,” you tell him as you grab his arm.

“I don’t think Logain’s army ran away, they must be coming back,” you tell him.

“That army can’t defeat 7 full Aes Sedai,” he says, eyebrows furrowed as you make it back to camp. The others seem to have felt the same thing you did, they’re all crowded together.

Aemon finds Nynaeve and quietly slips his knife into her hand. She looks scared, he thinks, he’s never seen her so scared.

“Gael? Who’s shielding Logain?” Alanna asks when she notices you.

“Kerene and Liandrin, they just took over for me. I’ve been with him all night,” you answer as you begin to worry. You hear a harsh swoosh, and you look up to see hundred arrows coming down on you.

Alanna is quick to use her weaves to stop them.

“Everyone, get to the cave, now!” She yells, just as Logain’s army breaks through the tree line. Aemon grabs your hand to run, just as Alanna turns the arrows back on the army and cuts them down. Lan grabs Nynaeve and pushes her to run as well.

You break through the same path you had just taken.

The army seems to be coming from all directions, by the thousands. You use weaves of air to blow them all back and Aemon has to fight anyone that gets too close.

There’s an arrow shot at you, and you stop it right before it pierces your heart.

You have no choice. You really have no choice. He was running toward you, his sword drawn, intent on cutting you down. You turn the arrows around and shoot it back at him. It pierces his head and he drops instantly.

He was the first person you had ever killed.

And you didn’t even know his name.

And you can’t even stop to feel sorry about it. Because there are more of them coming. Despite the fact he was trying to kill you, you say a silent prayer for his misguided soul.

“Gael!” Aemon yells out, motioning for you to keep running.

Throughout all the chaos, you get separated from the others. Just slightly though, you can still see their faint outlines. You’re fighting with weaves of air and earth, blowing up the ground beneath the incoming army.

You turn around to run again but you’re faced with a…shadow. A monstrous shadow. It grabs you by the throat, its firey eyes staring into your own.

You think you’re screaming, legs kicking, as its darkness seeps into you. Visions of death and destruction cloud your mind, of the world broken anew. Your weaves don’t kill this monster, it doesn’t even get you down. It’s not until Aemon stabs it with his power wrought, light embued sword, that it fades away.

“What the hell was that thing?” You gasp for air as your dripped down to your knees. Your neck burns, you cough for air. You can’t even see.

“I don’t know but we need to keep going,” Aemon says as he picks you up. You’re basically teetering on consciousness as he grabs you and runs.

By the time you make it into the cave, Logain has been gentled.

And Kerene is dead.

You feel like you’re on the brink of it yourself. Your vision blacks in and out and your legs feel heavy.

“Moiraine, something’s wrong with Gael,” Aemon pants as he runs into the cave, carefully laying you down in the middle.

The fact Nynaeve had just channeled, saving all of their lives, is quickly forgotten as Moiraine, Alanna, and Liandrin peer over you.

You crawl over to Kerene, you think you’re crying as you shake her.

“I can fix this,” you mutter.

“You can’t heal the dead, Gael, she’s gone,” Moiraine says as she places a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m the Sun Summoner, I bring destruction and creation. I can do anything!” You seethe, with more anger than Moiraine has ever seen. She takes a step back, glancing back at everyone as if to see if they had heard what you just said.

“Gael!”

The greatest weaves Moiraine has ever seen exudes from you, light so bright it blinds her. It vibrates in and out, weaves that resemble lightning pump in and out of Kerene. But to their extreme horror, the light is tainted black.

“Light save us,” Alanna mutters under her breath. Moiraine is shouting orders, instructing the other Aes Sedai there to link with her so she can put a shield on you, but she can’t. A shield with what, 8 full sisters, it’s like child’s play to you. You hardly even felt it.

With no other ideas, Aemon’s desperate. He grabs the knife he had given to Nynaeve and lunges at you. He grabs you and stabs the knife into your gut.

“The light can fight against the dark,” he mutters to himself. You’re left writhing on the floor as Aemon tries to grab you.

“Everyone get out!” Aemon yells.

Everyone makes a mad dash out of the cave, just as the dark shadow leaves your body with an explosion. It booms so loud that Lan’s ears begin to ring. Aemon is unscathed, perhaps for the sole reason he is Soldat Sol, but anyone else in the room would’ve been obliterated.

“Moiraine!”

Once he calls, everyone is coming back in. Moiraine and Alanna are quick to heal your stab wound as Aemon is pushed back.

His hands are stained with your blood. Nynaeve is quick to his side, taking the knife and wiping away the blood. She makes sure he’s alright, and he looks to be.

Lan takes a look around the room. The walls are stained black, Stepin is crying as he holds Kerene’s body, the false dragon is a shell of human being, his army lay dead outside, and Gael…sweet Gael lays in a comatose state. He shares a look with Moiraine.

The wheel weaves as it the wheel wills.

The end of this age was coming.

[dtyfp2]

Ok just by the way the my YLML fic is going, how do you guys think Odette and Jesse should first meet? I have so many ideas but I’d love some input!! you can direct message me through the app or just drop some suggestions below.

ALSO, I know the fic is a little dry rn (😭😭😭😭) but I’m trying speedrun the necessary back story. (Odette’s lore will be further explored!!)

[dtyfp2]

Secrets

YLML

“…I’m sorry about your kids,” you tell Maria as she cuts Ellie’s hair.

“Thank you, but only one. Kevin was mine, Sarah was Joel’s daughter,” Maria tells you.

You and Ellie share a look. Joel had never told either of you he had a daughter before. You suppose it makes sense, you should’ve guessed he had one. He seemed like he’d be a good dad.

“I guess that explains him a little,” Ellie mumbles.

“Look, I’m not going to ask why you’re with him-“

“Good,” Ellie answers back quickly, already on edge with the strange woman.

“But there’s clearly things you don’t know about Joel,” Maria explains.

“Oh, like how he used to kill people? We know about that,” Ellie refutes. You nod in agreement when Maria looks at you.

“So then you understand my concerns,” Maria sighs.

“He doesn’t do that anymore,” you interject.

“So he stopped killing people?” Maria raised her eyebrows.

“Innocent ones. Joel hasn’t killed anyone unless it was to protect us. He took care of us, even when he didn’t have to,” you defend.

“And Tommy did it too, are you worried about him?” Ellie asks Maria.

“Tommy was following Joel, the way you two are now,” Maria answers.

“Well maybe we’re smarter than Tommy, no offence,” Ellie seethes. You give her a look, as if to tell her to calm down, but she ignores it. As smart as she was, she was still only 14, still had a lot to learn. Like maybe don’t fight with someone holding scissors by your head.

“You sure are smart. Would have made a hell of a lawyer. But there’s a whole lot you’re not telling me,” Maria says as she walks away to put the scissors down. You and Ellie keep your mouths shut.

“Good. But there in lies the point. Be careful who you put your faith in. The only people who can betray us, are the ones we trust. You understand?” Maria says as she leans against the table, looking at you both.

“Sounds like you’re telling us not to trust you either,” you mutter under your breath.

“Like I said, too smart for your own good,” she sighs as she motioned for you both to follow.

You were going to the movies apparently.

You get up and follow Ellie out.

“That was weird,” she crossed her arms as you walk outside.

“Yeah, really weird,” you agree. You’re led into a large hall, like the one you had eaten in only a few hours ago. You sit with Ellie and watch the movie, getting in just as it started.

Movies were a rarity nowadays, but you liked watching them. You wondered what it was like before the outbreak.

You keep an eye out on the door, waiting for Joel to come look for you both. But he doesn’t.

You see Tommy, he comes and goes after talking with Maria, but Joel doesn’t come.

“Should we look for him?” Ellie asks. You glance around and nod. You both slip out and head outside.

“Fuck, how the hell are we supposed to find him?” Ellie asks as she zips up her super fucking eggplant jacket.

“I guess we just pick a direction and walk, look for lights that are turned on,” you suggest.

The two of you continue on, stepping into a few places with turned on lights.

Finally, you enter a house and hear some talking. Ellie, as per usual, butts in first.

She motions for you to be quiet as she quietly tiptoes in, staying close to the ground to stay out of eyeshot. You follow after her, kneeling by a table and straining your neck to hear.

“…I’m failing in my sleep, it’s all I’ve ever done. I just keep failing, again and again, and now everytime I look at Odette, all I can see is Sarah and she dies every night again in my dreams,” you hear Joel talk, presumably with Tommy. You glance over at Ellie and frown.

“You want me to take her?”

“I’m just going to get them killed, I know it. I have to leave her-“

“Joel-“

“I mean it’s why you left me too, right? To make up for the things we did. Well here’s your chance, to bring your kid into a better world. You’re younger than me, you’re still strong, you said it yourself-you’ll come back. You have to take them! It’ll be the last thing I ask of you, I swear,” Joel pleads with Tommy.

You’ve heard enough. So has Ellie. She crawls back to the door and leaves.

You follow her quietly back to the house, back into the little room.

“He wants to leave us,” Ellie says after a while. She’s sitting by the window while you sit on the bed, picking at your fingers as you mull over Joel’s words.

“I won’t leave you,” you try to console her. She looks over at you and nods thankfully before picking up some book by her feet.

You’re still sitting and thinking when Joel comes back and finds you both.

“Is this really all they had to worry about? Boys? Movies? Deciding which shoe goes with which shirt? It’s bizarre,” Ellie sighs as she refuses to look at Joel. Joel glances at you, and just by the look on your face, he knows.

“Listen-“

“Why are you here?” Ellie asks.

“I wanted to talk with you-“

“No, why are you still here? If you want to ditch us, then ditch us,” Ellie says passively.

“What exactly did you hear?”

“I have to leave her, you have to take her. You know we stood up for you all day today, because we thought…” Ellie trails off. She looks back at her book before she can cry.

“I made this decision for your own good. You’ll be way better off with Tommy. He knows the area better than I do-“

“Do you give a shit about us or not?” Ellie asks as she slams her book and gets up. The tension forces you to stand as well, biting on the skin of your lips as you look between them.

“Of course I do!” Joel answers.

“Then what are you so afraid of? I’m not her, you know? Neither is Odette. Maria told us about Sarah-“

“Don’t, don’t say another word,” Joel warns, his demeanour changing when Sarah was brought up. Before he seemed rather apologetic, just hoping you’d understand, but now he was angry.

“I’m sorry about your daughter, Joel, but I have lost people too. Odette has lost people-“

“You have no idea what loss is,” Joel stands up straighter.

“No idea?” You cut in, the tremor in your voice betraying the anger you were starting to feel.

“Everyone I have cared for has either died or left me. Everybody except for you! So don’t tell me I’ll be safer with someone else because I would just be more scared!” Ellie yells as she pushes Joel.

“You’re right. Neither of you are my daughter. And I sure as hell ain’t your dad. Now, come dawn, we’re going out separate ways,” Joel says angrily as he sends a glare your way.

You don’t say anything when he slams the door behind him.

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, and wipe the tears from your face.

“Ellie-“

“No I don’t even care anymore,” she huffs as she comes to lie down beside you, her arms crossed as she sniffles.

“We’ll be ok, we have each other. I’m not going to leave, we’re in this together,” you promise as you wrap an arm around her.

“Promise?” She asks.

“Yeah, promise,” you nod as you hold out your pinkie. She smiles a little and links her pinkie with your own.

“Get some rest. We’ll go with Tommy in the morning,” you tell her. You turn off the lights but you don’t know how much sleep you get.

Ellie holds your hand all night, even when she’s snoring and tossing and turning.

[dtyfp2]

Showers

YLML

You stick close to Joel as Tommy and Maria give a little tour. You’re practically holding onto his arm, not that he minds, you don’t think. He tucks his arm up to keep a hold on you, as if to make sure you don’t slip on the ice beneath you.

You listen to Maria tell you about the history of their little community. You don’t really listen as Joel asks about the power and electricity, you didn’t really care. You kept an eye on Ellie, but she seems to have gotten comfortable quickly.

You giggle as Ellie points out the sheep, teasing Joel and his sheep herder ambition he had told you both about after you pestered him all night. Half of him made it up, the other half didn’t mind the idea.

You reach the little stables, and watch as Ellie pets one of the new baby horses. The horses still freaked you out, you shook your head when Joel asked if you wanted to pet it as well.

“…well I’m sure they’d like a shower, some new clothes. We can put them in the house across from ours,” Maria thinks out loud with Tommy.

“Yeah, decent place, pretty much untouched since ‘03 but it’s got the heat going in it. You could do worse,” Tommy nods.

“Oh trust me, we have,” Ellie retorts.

“We’ve been doing fine,” you hush Ellie.

“Joel always made sure we had somewhere warm to sleep and something hot to eat. It’s hardly worse,” you tell Ellie as you pat Joel’s arm. You didn’t mean to side against Ellie, but you didn’t want to seem unappreciative of Joel either.

He did his best, and his best was enough. It had gotten you both here, after all.

She makes a face at you, a face you return.

“Why don’t I take the girls over there? You two can watch up,” Maria suggests as she points between the two brothers.

“Yeah, ok,” Joel agrees.

“Joel!”

“Joel,” you and Ellie both hiss. Now you were on Ellie’s side.

“You’ll be fine,” Joel assures you both as he takes your hand and guides you towards Ellie.

“Joel!” You call back after him.

“What?” He asks, in the midst of putting his gloves on. His eyes are wide, hands on his hips, wondering why you’re still calling after him. You take a breath before glancing at Tommy and Maria, it was awkward to say in front of them but you didn’t have a choice.

“Do you really trust Tommy enough, to trust Maria, to trust her with us?” You ask him, voice wavering, evidence of your fear.

“Fuck, Odette, say that again-“

“You know what I mean!” You exasperate, stomping your foot pathetically for good measure. The action earns a smile from Tommy (who remembers when Sarah was a toddler and would stomp up and down and all over the house), but you don’t notice.

“I think if you said what I think you said; yes?” He nods as he rubs at his temple.

“Joel, we will so get you back for this,” you threaten as he and Tommy walk away. You huff as you grab Ellie’s hand. It was the first time either of you had been without him in months, it felt weird.

“Shall we?” Maria asks, offering a tight lipped smile. You and Ellie both nod as you follow the woman away.

You follow her in silence, you and Ellie sticking close.

“Um, about my knife-“

“Give us a bit of time. Once we’re all a bit more comfortable with each other, we’ll give it back to you. Don’t worry, I’ll speak to the council about it,” Maria assures you.

“But you’re not going to…break it or anything, will you?” You ask her.

“We won’t,” she promises. You decide to leave it at that, it’s not like arguing with her will help.

You glance at Ellie and she rolls her eyes, something you smile at.

You reach a cute house, and Maria opens the door and lets you both in.

“There’s 2 showers, so if Ellie-“

“Oh, I’ll wait just wait for her,” you cut in quickly, not wanting to risk separating any more from Ellie.

“Yeah, I’ll be quick,” Ellie nods.

“Ok. Shower things are inside. I’ll be back with some clothes and supplies. You girls make yourself comfortable,” Maria nods. She closes the door behind her, and finally you’re alone.

“Do you want to shower first?” Ellie asks as she sits on the bed beside you.

“I think you need to,” you tease, dramatically plugging your nose.

“Screw off, fine. But I’m going to take my sweet ass time,” Ellie warns.

You kick off your shoes and with a sigh, you lie back on the bed. Your eyes are closed and you nearly doze off until you hear someone knock on the door.

“Come in,” you call. It’s Maria, with a pile of fresh clothes in each hand.

“I guessed a bit on the sizing, but I think it should work,” she tells you as she lays the piles on the bed beside

“Thank you,” you say gratefully.

“There’s also a little something else in there. Let me know if you have any questions. When you and Ellie are down, I’m right across the street,” she tells you. You nod and she closes the door again.

You look at the clothes and find what she was talking about. According to the instructions, it was a period cup.

The cup is squishy. What the hell?

Ellie comes out while you’re reading the manual.

“The fuck is this?” She laughs as she plays with it.

“Hell if I know. I’m going to go shower,” you say as you get up.

“Hope I left some hot water for you,” she sings.

“Ha ha,” you humour her. It’s a relief to get out of those dirty clothes, and it’s a relief to feel the hot water on your tired shoulders.

You finish showering and come out for the fresh clothes. Ellie is lying down on the bed. You can’t remember the last time you had laid on an actual mattress, Ellie couldn’t either.

“Come on, we should go find Maria again,” you tell Ellie once you’re dressed.

“Huh, you’re almost kinda pretty when your face isn’t full of grime,” Ellie tells you as she sits up.

You grab the pillow and smack her with it.

“Take that back!”

[dtyfp2]

3 months later

YLML

It has been 3 months since Kansas City.

3 months since Sam got infected and Henry killed himself.

3 months since you’ve been with Ellie and Joel.

You liked Ellie and Joel, you liked listening to their half hearted bickering (mostly Ellie teasing Joel and him going along with it). You even started joining in and Joel complained, whining about how he thought you’d be on his side.

You reminded Joel of Sarah, not that he told you that. Sometimes, if the light hit just right, he could forget she was gone when he saw the swish of your hair, or the side of your face whenever you laughed with Ellie.

It had been so long since he had seen Sarah.

Before, he’d lay awake and wonder what she’d look like now and he was never able to picture it, always thinking of her as the 12 year old she once was, but now he thinks she’d look like you. Her face just a little more matured then she was.

He tries not to think about it too much. He catches himself almost calling you Sarah instinctively, and he hates himself a little after. You weren’t Sarah, and Sarah wasn’t you. But he took to you easier than he did Ellie, he feels protective over you, and by god, he would find somewhere safe for you to stay.

Winter had come now. It was cold, but you had all found some winter jackets and shoes in some abandoned towns you passed.

You followed after Joel, trekking through the Wyoming Winter.

You had left an old couples home a few days ago, they pointed you in the right direction (after some of Joel’s threatening). They told you of the river of death, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t afraid.

Joel thought they were being dramatic, but I don’t know, it still creeped you out.

“We’re a small group. If we move quickly and quietly, we’ll be able to get past without making a fuss,” Joel had told you one night in the cave.

He hadn’t given you a reason not to trust him yet, so you believed him.

You and Ellie linked elbows, helping each other get through the tall snows. The two of you were giggling as you slipped on the ice underneath, laughing as you catch each other every time you slip. Joel was ahead of you, occasionally glancing back to make sure the two of you hadn’t lagged too far back. You could’ve sworn he was smiling.

You’re picking Ellie up one more time when a hoard of horses approach you. Instantly, the happy mood sours.

You both run to Joel and he runs back to you as well. He reaches for his gun, as does Ellie but you can tell neither of them will be able to draw in time, nor will they be able to shoot anyone without getting shot back first. You grab Ellie’s hand, shaking your head at her.

There was 10 of them. All on horseback. All of them armed. And they had surrounded you.

“We’re not looking for any trouble, only passing through,” Joel tells them.

“Drop the gun!” One man orders. Joel carefully takes off the gun sling and tosses it.

You and Ellie both have your hands up, but you carefully reach forward to grab one of her hands in your own. You’re not sure who you’re trying to comfort, her or yourself.

“The girls, take 5 steps back,” the man orders as he looks at you and Ellie.

“Joel,” you whisper.

“It’s ok, take the steps back,” he nods as he glances back at you both.

You and Ellie take 5 small steps back. Part of you thinks they’ll tell you to move more, but they don’t.

“How about we just talk this through?”

“How about you just shut the fuck up,” the man snaps as his gun cocks. Your eyes close, as if that’ll protect you.

“Have you been near infected?” The man asks.

“There’s no infected out here,” Joel answers.

“The hell there ain’t,” the man scoffs. He whistles and a dog gets brought over.

Fuck.

“Last chance for a bullet. If you’ve been infected, he will smell it and he will rip you up,” the man warns. Your grip on Ellie’s hand tightens. You were terrified of dogs.

Silence.

The dog is let off his leash and it goes to Joel first, sniffing at him before going back. You assumed that meant Joel wasn’t infected.

“Like I said, we’re just passing through. We’ll be on our way,” Joel says after the dog leaves.

“Now the girls,” the man orders as his gun points at you.

The dog growls as it approaches you, and you take an involuntary step back.

“Odette, stay still,” Ellie warns.

“Guys I never told you this but I’m really scared of dogs,” your voice shakes.

“She’s infected!” Someone yells. The entire group cocks their guns. You’re still taking slow steps away from the dog.

“No she isn’t! She’s not!” Joel yells over the commotion.

“Can I go over to them? I’ll get the dog to sniff her,” Joel asks. The man gives an affirmative nod.

Joel comes over and grabs you.

“It’s fine, you’ll be fine. Trust me,” Joel says as he grabs your shoulders. His eyes are wide, so are yours. He tucks you into his chest, so your eyes can’t see. He grabs one of your hands and holds it out for the dog. Your hand shakes so bad that he bruises your wrist from grabbing it so tight. You yelp a little when you feel the dogs wet nose, but it’s muffled by Joel’s sweater. He gently shushes you.

“You’re done, the dogs moving on,” Joel says as he lets you go. The dog goes to smell Ellie, and of course Ellie ends up on her ass, giggling as the dog licks at her face.

“You all just bought yourself 10 more seconds, barely. What are you all doing out here?” The man asks.

“Just looking for my brother. Nothing more,” Joel answers. A woman nicks her horse closer.

“What’s your name?” She asks.

“Joel,” he answers simply.

“Joel Miller?” She asks.

“Fucking depends who you all are,” Joel bites back. You internally cringe at that.

“Get them on horses, bring them with us,” the woman orders. You think she can see the panic on your face as someone gets off their horse and brings it closer to you all.

“We’re not going to hurt you,” she promises. You and Ellie get on the same horse, you let her guide it, you’ve never ridden one before.

You follow the group through the fields, until a little civilization comes into view, with gigantic walls and guard posts.

“Joel?” You call out cautiously.

“We’re fine,” he assures you. You can’t tell if he believes himself, or if he’s just saying it so you won’t freak out.

You all pull up into the small city. There are children building snowmen, men and women walking around town. Is this what the world looked like before the outbreak?

“Where the fuck are we?” Ellie mutters under her breath.

“I don’t know,” you answer.

You continue into the city, looking around at the buildings. Some of them even looked new.

“Tommy!” You hear Joel call out, as he waves his hand. You follow his line of sight onto a man that…kinda looks like him, a bit younger but definitely looked like Joel.

It’s only when Joel gets off his horse and embraces his brother, that you relax. You hug Ellie from behind, blinking away tears at the sweet brotherly reunion. You were finally safe. And you missed Henry and Sam.

You’d never hug them again.

His brother, Tommy glances at you and Ellie and you swear he does a double take.

“Sarah?” He calls out, his eyebrows furrowing as he takes a step closer. You can’t tell if he’s looking at you, you look behind you and see no one there.

“Oh shit, it’s fucking uncanny,” Tommy mumbles to himself.

“I know,” Joel answers, embracing his brother once more.

You’re let off your horses and Tommy ushers you all into a fancy wooden building. He says something to someone while the three of you take an awkward seat with the woman from outside.

3 plates of food are brought over.

Joel and Ellie dig in.

You push some of it around on your plate. You were starving, yes, but for some reason the food made you a little nauseous.

“What the fucks wrong with you, eat it,” Ellie says, mouth full, as she elbows you.

“I am eating,” you defend.

“There’s more if you need it,” the woman tells you all.

“Thank you,” you mumble quietly as you bring a piece of meat to your mouth.

“It’s been a while since we had a proper meal.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal, this is fucking amazing,” Ellie raves.

“Ellie, manners,” you whisper, just as Joel chastises her for the same thing. You look up to find Tommy is looking at you, but he averts his gaze when you look up. That was weird, you think.

You look up to find a couple people staring at you.

“What?” Ellie asks one girl hiding behind a pole.

“Ellie, manners,” Joel reminds her.

“What about her manners?” Ellie rebutes.

“It is rude to stare,” you side with Ellie quietly.

“She’s just curious. Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you,” the woman tells you.

“Right, well maybe I’ll teach them,” Ellie challenges. You smile quietly to yourself as you chew up some greens.

“I also want my gun back,” Ellie continues, eyebrows furrowing.

“Oh, if we’re making requests could I get my knife? It’s sentimental,” you pipe up.

“I think you all got off on the wrong foot-“

“She was going to have your guys kill us!” Ellie argues with Tommy. You and Joel look eyes over her, he gives you an exasperated look.

“Well we gotta be real careful about who we let into this place. It’s all bark, we’re just trying to scare off those who might try us,” Tommy explains.

“Well you got a couple 90 year olds shitting themselves across the bridge,” Ellie tells him. You hide your laugh as a cough, glancing at Joel who smiles quietly to himself.

“Ellie,” Joel hisses, though you can tell it’s only because he doesn’t want to encourage her…too much.

“They say you leave dead bodies around?” Ellie continues.

“Those are the people who tried us,” the woman shrugs.

“A bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad,” Tommy tells you both.

“Not always, at least,” the woman corrects.

“Ma’am, we’re grateful for hospitality and all, but it’ll be nice to have a moment here just for family,” Joel tells the woman as he looks over at Tommy.

You take that as your cue. You begin to get up, but your eyes meet Joel’s and he motions for you to sit back down. ‘Not you’ he mouths.

“Well uh, Maria is family actually,” Tommy says as he sits up straighter and takes Maria’s hand in his.

Ohhhh.

“Oh congrats!”

“Oh shit, congrats,” you and Ellie say simultaneously. Tommy offers you both a small smile.

“Joel, say congrats,” you whisper as you peek over at Joel.

“Congrats,” he says dryly as he stares at his brother.

“Maria’s a pretty name,” you chime in to ease the tension that had suddenly come over you all, which earns you a genuine smile from her.

“I never caught yours,” she mentions.

“Odette. Like that princess swan story from before the outbreak, my mom really liked that one,” you over share. You wince a little, she did not need to know that, but she smiles anyway.

“Beautiful name, I liked that story as well,” Maria shares.

“Um, how about a tour?”

[dtyfp2]

The Burells

YLML

You stay awake with Sam, laying on the bed.

Ellie, the poor girl, had tried her best to stay awake but fell asleep in the chair. You couldn’t blame her, the night had been exhausting.

A few hours in and Sam seemed ok. His hands weren’t shaking, which you knew was the first sign.

“Sammy, some rest will help you heal. Try your best to get some sleep,” you sign.

“You’ll stay with me?” Sam signs back. You could tell he was fighting the exhaustion, he dozed off every now and then for a few moments but jolted awake.

“Always,” you promise. You press a kiss to his head and hold him in your arms.

Once his breathing evens, you allow yourself to get some sleep as well.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When you wake, it’s because of the sun in your eyes. Sam wasn’t in your arms any longer, but sitting at the foot of the bed. Ellie wakes when you do.

“Is he ok?” She asks hopefully.

“I think so,” you answer as you climb off the bed. You come around to touch his shoulder, only to jump back when he attacks.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He had turned.

“Sammy, no!” You yell as he attacks you. Ellie opens the door and runs out, and you fall through it as well as you fight Sam. He’s trying to bite you, oh my god, he’s trying to bite you.

“Henry!” You scream. Sam is roaring, like a monster, and you’re screaming. You’re on the floor, your back against the ground as you try to fight Sam. It’s half hearted at best, you’re crying so bad and you can’t bring yourself to completely shove him off. You can’t fight him. It’s Sam, your baby Sam.

“Sam, no!” You’re crying as you grab his hands.

Through all the commotion, a gun shoot rings and Sam falls off you.

“No!” You cry.

It was Henry. He holds the smoking gun.

You crawl over to Sam, crying over him. Like this, he almost looks like he’s sleeping. His eyes were still open, the infection had already marred his face, his face contorted in his final attempt to bite you.

“Henry, give me the gun,” Joel’s voice draws you from your tears. You look back and Henry is still holding the gun, looking back and forth between you and Sam’s body.

“Henry, please, put it away,” you beg through tears.

“What have I done,” Henry mutters to himself.

“You saved me,” you tell him as you get in front of his view of Sam.

“Ellie, go back inside and shut the door,” Joel instructs. Ellie does what she’s told, running and closing it behind her.

You slowly get up, hands up as you approach your brother.

“Henry, it wasn’t your fault. Put it down,” your pleading as you take tiny steps toward him. He’s pointing the gun at Joel now.

“What did I do? What did I do?” Henry keeps repeating.

“Henry please,” you sob.

“You take her with you, find her somewhere safe,” Henry directs at Joel.

He points the gun at himself and shoots himself in the temple.

You make a noise you’ve never heard before. Screaming as you clammer over to him.

His brains are on the wall. It’s on the ground next to him. It’s all over your hands.

“Henry!” You shake his shoulders, screaming and crying as you look in between him and Sam.

Had you lost them both? You had lost them both. Oh my god, they were dead. You had finally gotten out of Kansas and they were dead. You wouldn’t make it without them. They were the only reasons you were still living.

This was all your fault. None of this would have happened if it weren’t for you.

You grab the gun and Joel jumps at you.

You place it at your temple and shoot it, it was the easiest thing you had done all your life.

Except the gun jams. And Joel tackled it away from you before you can shoot it again.

“No, it should’ve been me,” you wail as you cradle Henry’s head. You cry and you cry, and at some point Ellie comes out and cries too.

Joel picks Sam up and brings him over to you, and you grab each brother as if you could will them back to life. The paint was peeling from Sam’s face. Super Sam.

“No, no he was only a boy,” you weep as you touch Sam’s face. The infection had spread on his face, but he was still recognizable. He was still the baby you once help.

“Joel, please, I have to go with them,” you sob. You can barely see through your tears, you’re barely coherent.

Joel gives you a moment before looking around.

“We have to move,” he says regretfully. He places a hand on your shoulder, dragging you off your brothers. He pulls you into a hug. You scream and fight against him.

“No, I can’t leave them,” you wail.

“We’ll bury them. They deserve to be buried,” Ellie says softly as she wipes her face. Joel seems to agree, he goes off to find a shovel. Ellie goes with him, perhaps to give you a moment, or because she feels awkward with you alone.

You’re like a zombie.

Joel digs the grave.

He picks Henry up, and Ellie helps you with Sam. He lays Henry first and you gently lay Sam beside him.

“It isn’t too late to shoot me down there with them,” you tell Joel mindlessly.

“He wouldn’t want that. Last night, Henry agreed to come with us to Wyoming. Last thing he said was to take you with us. He would’ve wanted you to be safe, he wanted you to live-“

“It doesn’t matter what he wants, he’s gone,” your lip quivers.

“Hey, we need you with us. The three of us can protect each other, yeah? I need your help, ok? I want to get Ellie to safety but I need your help,” Joel tells you as he grabs your shoulders. He doesn’t need your help. You’re dead weight to him, but he tried to convince you nevertheless.

“Leave me, I’ll only slow you down,” you shrug his hands off.

“No, I’m not doing that. You’re one of us now, you’re coming with us,” he says, matter of factly.

There is a slight breeze in the air. You sit and watch as Joel buries your brothers. This would be the last time you’d ever see them, the last time you and your brothers would ever be together. The Burells, fuck fuck fuck.

You can’t watch.

You’ll regret that one day.

Ellie comes with all your things.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly.

“Me too,” you mumble. She sits beside you as Joel shovels and you wrap your arm around her. If you close your eyes, you can pretend she’s Sam.

When Joel finishes, she hands you Sam’s writing board.

“I’m sorry, I love you.”

[dtyfp2]

Prayers

YLML

“…Ellie, keep your head down,” you gasp as you pull her arm.

“I have to make sure Joel made it,” she fights with you.

“You’ll know when that maniac stops shooting at us. If you keep popping your head up, he’ll get you. Please, just keep your head down,” you plead with her. Your back is pressed against the car, one hand on Ellie, the other on Sam.

You sit in silence for a minute, not even daring to breathe. Henry reaches over and grabs your hand, giving it a slight squeeze to comfort you.

It stays silent until you hear a single gun shot. You hope and pray it was Joel doing the shooting. You don’t even have a minute to think, because you can hear an army of trucks pulling up.

“Run!” You think you hear Joel yell distantly.

“Come on,” Henry says as he grabs you and Ellie up. The four of you run. You hold onto Ellie while Henry holds Sam. The trucks are getting closer, one seemingly intent on running you and Ellie down. As Ellie runs, she points and shoots at the trucks. The bullets do nothing to stop the metal.

Joel shoots through the car and kills the driver which forces the truck off. Ellie had fallen while she ran, so you drag her back up and keep going.

Your heart beats so fast you’re worried it might just spontaneously stop. This is the end. You know this is the end. There’s so many trucks, so many people, there’s no way you’re making it out of this alive. You look for Henry and Sam, you had gotten split up through all the chaos.

The truck exploded behind you, which throws you to the ground. Henry comes running, he grabs both you and Ellie and goes back to his hiding spot behind the cars.

You grab Sam’s face, looking for any injury, but he looks ok.

You motion for him to keep quiet, and you keep a hand on two of the youngest.

“Dead end Henry. Why don’t you step out and save us some time,” Kathleen calls out. She doesn’t know where you are, but she knows you’re here. Henry glances at you and you shake your head. There has to be a way out. He looks at you and Sam, thinking. You want to tell him to stop, but before you can he speaks.

“I’ll come out! Just let the kids go,” Henry barters.

“No, sorry. The girl is with the man who killed Brian, and Sam and Odette are with you,” Kathleen answers. She doesn’t sound sorry.

“You don’t understand!” Henry yells. You wished you could explain everything, that Sam would have died without the medicine Fedra was offering.

“But I do. I know why you did what you did. But did you ever stop to think that he was supposed to die?” Kathleen asks.

“He’s just a kid!” You yell back, tears brim your eyes but you blink them away.

“Kids die, Odette. They die all the time. You think the whole world revolves around him? That he’s worth everything? Well this is what happens when you fuck with fate,” Kathleen taunts. Henry sighs deeply, his eyes closed for a second before he looks at you.

“Get ready to take him and run,” he tells you seriously.

“Kathleen, I’m sorry about your brother. If you want to hurt Henry the same way, take me instead. Kill me. Let them go,” you yell out, without even thinking.

“No,” Henry hisses.

“It’s my fault too,” your voice cracks as you grab his hand.

“Don’t be coy with me Odette, I know it was him. I’ll get you all eventually, you don’t think there’s a way out of this, do you?” Kathleen taunts.

“Get ready to take him and run,” Henry repeats again. You shake your head but Henry doesn’t have time to argue with you.

“It’s time Henry, enough!” Kathleen calls. You can hear the crunch of her footsteps, she was getting too close.

Before you can stop him, Henry stands with his hands up in surrender. Sam tries to follow but you drag him back down, motioning for him to be quiet.

The three of you stay still, so still you could hear a pin drop. You can hear Kathleen cock her gun and your hand covers your mouth as you begin to cry. She was going to shoot your brother, she was going to shoot Henry.

“When she shoots, we run,” you manage to choke out. Ellie frowns but nods.

You can hear the exploded house crack a bit. You don’t dare to look. Was something moving the truck? It sounded like it was falling.

Your heart stops when you hear infected. You peek your head up and your mouth falls open at the way the infected are quite literally climbing up from the depths of hell.

Henry manages to make it back. Everyone turning their attentions back and shooting.

He grabs you all and motions for you to run. You all run. Henry holds Sam’s hand and takes off while you stick with Ellie. She falls and right when an infected tries to pounce, it’s shot.

It’s Joel, you realize, he’s watching over and shooting from above.

“Ellie, get up!” You yell as you grab her and continue on. The two of you manage to keep going, but you’ve lost your brothers again through all the commotion.

You spot a broken windshield and drag Ellie towards it. You push her in before climbing in after her. You hear something roaring behind you, you don’t dare look.

You and Ellie take a moment to catch your breath.

Wrong move.

An infected crawls in behind you. You manage to open the front door and you fall out, Ellie close behind you. Sam and Henry are in front of you, under a car and kicking at the infected crawling at them. Ellie hands you a spare knife and you both run towards them, stabbing at the infected. She grabs Sam and you pull Henry up.

“To the house!” Henry tells you all. You book it.

Kathleen stood you at one point, but an infected kills her. You run and run, past the bridge, and you keep going until you can’t hear the fighting anymore.

You end up in a little abandoned house.

A couple hours have passed.

Ellie and Sam are playing with the comic again, and you lie on the bed.

You had cut your thigh when jumping into the car. You didn’t really see it until you got to the house. Adrenaline was a crazy thing.

Henry and Joel bandaged it up for you and told you to get some rest.

When Henry tells you both to get some sleep, Sam pretends to sleep while Henry closes the door which forces you to smile.

He and Ellie start playing with the comic again until Sam taps her shoulder and writes something down. You sit up beside her as you wait to see what he says.

“Are you scared?” Sam asks you. You think about what to say to him for a moment.

“Yes, it’s ok to be scared. But you don’t need to worry, Henry and I will always take care of you. Henry isn’t scared of anything, he’ll take care of us,” you sign, speaking quietly so Ellie can hear and be included. Ellie writes something for Sam, asking if she looks scared.

You watch as Sam and Ellie talk for a bit, laughing when she brings up scorpions. Were there ever scorpions in Kansas city? She asks Sam if he’s scared and he writes something down.

“If you turn into a monster, is it still you inside?” He writes. Your lips press together, how could you ever begin to explain this to him?

“Sammy…” you sigh.

Before you can say anything else, he lifts up his pant leg and reveals a bit.

You gasp, hand covering your mouth. You can’t look at him, you can’t let him see how scared you were. This was a death sentence. After everything you and Henry did to save him from the Leukemia, he was going to die anyway.

You crawl over to the bed he’s sitting on and cradle him in your arms. What would Henry say? What would he do? You were afraid of telling Joel, he’d probably shoot Sam. Tears pour from your face as you try to cry quietly.

“Fuck,” Ellie mumbles. She takes a breath and shows her arm to you both. Bite marks. Healed bite marks.

“My blood is medicine,” she writes down.

“What does that mean?” You ask, hope brewing inside you.

“I’m immune to it,” Ellie says as she finds her knife. She cuts into her palm and presses it against Sam’s bite.

“My blood is medicine. You won’t turn,�� Ellie tells you both.

“Oh my god,” you breathe a shaky sigh of relief. Sam winces as Ellie holds it tight, and you hold his hand as she does.

The three of you take glances between each other, a silent promise that you wouldn’t tell the two outside until Sam was healed.

“Stay awake with me,” Sam writes. You nod your head and press a kiss to his forehead.

You were afraid of the hope brewing inside.

Ellie promises to stay awake too and she leans in for a hug.

You hadn’t prayed to God in a while, you weren’t even sure he existed. But you prayed now. You prayed to all the gods you had ever heard or read about and hoped one was listening.

You prayed they wouldn’t be so cruel to take Sam away from you.

[dtyfp2]

New Friends

YLML

You cringe as glass cracks beneath your feet.

Henry gives you a pointed look, all you can do is mouth sorry.

We’re looking for the man and girl we had seen early. The man, at least, looked like he had lots of experience. You watched them kill those people earlier.

You don’t know what you expected. Maybe they’d help you get out, but right now you didn’t have much choice. Henry insisted he knew what he was doing, and well, you suppose he’s never been wrong before. It’s not like you’d be able to convince him otherwise anyway, he was too stubborn.

Once you reach a certain floor, your thighs burning from going up all those stairs by the way, Henry motions for you and Sam to be quiet.

He hands you the gun. He’d already told you the plan before, no need to say it all again.

He goes in first, and you grab Sam and hide him behind the wall.

“Don’t come out until Henry or I come to get you,” you sign. He nods, his tiny face looking scared. You felt horrible, you wish he didn’t have to be.

You hold the gun and continue into the room. Henry motions for the man and you nod your head.

The gun shakes in your hand as you point it at him. He kicks the girl awake, grabbing her the second she wakes and pointing the gun at her head.

“We’re not going to hurt you,” he tells her. She looks up at you, eyes wide.

“Please don’t shoot him. Joel, Joel! Wake up,” she calls. The man, Joel, rolls over groggily, but wakes up quickly when he sees the gun you have pointed at him. You try your best to look menacing, but you don’t think you do very well.

“Don’t look at her. Look at me. You don’t have to worry about what you want to say. We want to help you,” Henry says quickly.

“Ok,” Joel says wearily. You dare to spare a glance at Henry, what the hell are we supposed to do now? You hadn’t thought this far.

“Ok, um, I don’t know what the next step is. But if I lower my gun, we don’t hurt you so you don’t hurt us. Right?” Henry speaks, looking over at you. Joel glances at you, probably trying to size up if he can take the gun away from you, you hope he doesn’t. You take a step back just in case, gun still pointed at him. The gun isn’t even loaded, but you wonder if you’d even hit him if it was.

“That’s right,” Joel answers.

“That’s a weird fucking tone man,” Henry shakes his head.

“That’s just the way he sounds. He has an asshole voice. Joel, tell him everything’s alright,” the girl cuts in quickly. You would’ve laughed at that if this were any other situation.

“Everything is fine,” Joel says in the same monotone voice.

“Henry,” your voice shakes as you look at your brother. What if Joel was about to call your bluff.

“Dude,” the girl winces.

“Fuck, ok, we’re going to trust you. But if either of you try anything-“ Henry starts, shaking the gun slightly to make a point. The girl nods, and when Henry starts to lower the gun, you do as well.

“Can I sit up?” Joel asks, directly the questions at you. You look at Henry, and he nods so you do as well.

“Slow. Get up slow,” Henry instructs.

“Who are you?” Joel asks.

“My name is Henry, that’s my sister Odette. I’m the most wanted man in Kansas City. Although right now, my guess is you’re running a close second,” Henry explains.

“Who are you?” You ask, glancing between Joel and the girl.

“My name is Joel, that’s Ellie, we’re just passing through,” Joel answers.

“You’re not going to hurt us, right?” You ask Joel.

“I said I wouldn’t,” he answers back. Damn it, he had a way of making everything sound like a lie.

“He won’t, as long as you guys don’t either. We don’t want a fight,” Ellie says, though she’s directing it more so towards Joel.

You look at Henry, silently asking if you should get Sam, and he nods, motioning for you to go. You jog back to the door and grab Sam, who was sitting with his hands over his ears, which wouldn’t really do anything but you supposed it brought him so comfort.

“That’s our little brother Sam,” Henry tells the two as you come back. You let Sam know that we’ll be trusting the 2 new people, and hopefully they’ll help us get away. Sam nods, still holding your hand as you come in.

“He’s deaf?” Joel asks once he notices your signing.

“Yeah, so what?” You ask.

“Nothing,” he mumbles as he turns the little lamp on.

Everyone awkwardly sits around the light. Joel and Ellie on one side, you and your brothers on the other.

It stays awkward, no one knowing what to say until Ellie grabs something from her bag. Some food, you think it’s a type of beef jerky, but any food is welcome. It’s been over a day since you last ate, you gave like half of your latest portion to Sam too.

“Where’d you get this?” You ask, hoping to break some ice. You grab Sam’s hand before he can eat it, shaking your head first. You wait until Ellie eats some first, afraid there might be some poison in the food. But once she takes a bite, you let go of Sam’s hand.

“From Bill. He’s dead now,” she says simply. You side eye Henry, he doesn’t seem all that fazed and takes a bit as well. So do you. It hurts your stomach, you don’t think you could eat that much anyway.

Joel wraps up some of his leftovers and hands it over to Sam, a peace offering if you might. Sam signs back thank you.

“He says thank you. We know you must not have too much, so this means a lot,” you thank them.

“How old is he?” Ellie asks.

“He’s 8,” you translate as Sam signs.

“Cool,” Ellie nods.

“Look, you ate, we ate, we all ate without killing each other. Let’s get to the point,” Joel says as he wipes his hands clean.

“Well I’m betting you came up here to get a better view of the city, find a way out, right? When the sun comes up, I’ll show you one. I show you a way out, you help us get out, and we go our separate ways,” Henry tells them.

Joel thinks about it for a bit but nods.

“Fine. Ellie, go back and get some more shut eye,” Joel orders as he gets up.

“You two as well,” Henry nods, motioning for you to head over with Ellie.

“I’ll take first watch,” you shake your head.

“No, I’ll take it. You get some sleep. We’re safe up here, no one will find us, you don’t have to be scared, ok? Just try and get some sleep,” Henry tells you.

“Ok,” you hum. You know he’s right. You haven’t slept well the last few days, whether it was from fear or hunger. You go over to where Ellie is, and lay out your jacket for you and Sam.

“You trust Joel?” You ask her quietly. For some reason, you trusted her a lot more than him.

“With my life,” she answers. You nod and lie down, tucking Sam close and under your arm.

You can’t remember when you fell asleep, all you remember is waking up the next morning.

You feel gross and stiff, but some sleep is better than none.

“Did you get any sleep?” You ask Henry as you pack everything up.

“Yeah, don’t worry,” he nods. Your lips press together, you can’t tell if he’s lying or not.

You follow the group up a crap tone of more stairs, until you reach the top. Joel and Henry go to the class while you stick with Ellie and Sam.

“How old are you?” Ellie asks as she sits down.

“16, almost 17. How old are you?” You ask her.

“14,” she answers.

“Cool,” you imitate her, which forces a smile from her. She and Sam start flipping through some comic as you glance over at Henry and Joel. You can’t tell what they’re talking about, or how Joel is taking any of. Sam laughs as he flips through the book with Ellie and you can’t help but smile. It’s been so long since you’ve heard him laugh, it’s been a while since you have. You look over at Henry and he has a soft smile on his face too.

While he continues speaking with Joel, you rest your head on the table and watch over Sam. You didn’t really care too much about the comic, but you liked seeing Sam happy.

You had sacrificed so much so Sam could be.

You’d do it again in a heartbeat.

[dtyfp2]

Attic

YLML

You squeeze Sam’s hand so hard you worry you might crush it.

Your other hand has a hold on Henry’s jacket. You’re almost hiding behind him. His gun is drawn as he carefully walks through the old broken building.

You jump at the sound of a gun shot outside. You wonder if you would’ve known the person that just died. It doesn’t matter anyway.

Dr. Edelweiss appears before you, Henry and him having startled each other while you were distracted by the shouting outside.

The doctor guides you to an attic. Henry goes up first, to make sure it’s safe. When he motions for you all to follow, you push Sam up, urging him on faster before you go up behind him.

Sam scrambles into a corner, a corner you follow him into. You hold him tight against you, the last few days having you so on edge you don’t think you’ve ever felt fear like this before.

The doctor and Henry talk quietly as Henry takes out all the resources you have from his bag. He insisted on carrying it, so you could run faster if you needed to. He also held the gun, your hands shaking so bad you probably would’ve shot yourself instead.

“…are they scared?” You hear Dr. Edelweiss ask. You’re more scared than Sam you think, he’s already taken out his little drawing board and is playing with it while you’re just…sitting there. Your ears are ringing, you can barely hear a thing.

“Yeah, they saw a lot, nothing I can do about it now,” Henry answers as he counts the cans of food he brought. The doctor glances over at you and Sam. It’s obvious you’re scared, but your eyes follow Henry, you’re feeding off him.

“They’re scared, because you’re scared,” the doctor tells Henry.

He sighs deeply before approaching you both. He lays a hand on your knee before looking at the drawing Sam had made.

“Super Sam,” he signs in acknowledgment.

“What did he say?” Sam signs back.

“He said we’re safe here. No one is going to find us,” Henry signs, speaking lowly for you so you can hear it from his own mouth.

“Are you sure?” You ask him, not signing because you don’t want to scare Sam.

“100%,” Henry promises.

“Hey, look at me, look at my face. Do I look scared?” Henry signs. You can tell he’s faking, that beneath it all he’s terrified, but he does well enough masking it. If you pretend, you can’t even see it.

Sam shrugs in response.

“There’s one problem though. This place is ugly,” Henry continues, pulling out a bag of crayons from his back. He hands it to Sam, intending for him to colour the walls, to distract him from everything going on.

Sam is happy nevertheless, and hands both you and Henry a crayon before turning to colour along the walls. You colour too, mindlessly.

“Don’t be afraid, Odette, I’ll get us out of here,” Henry promises as he lays his hand on your shoulder.

“How? We have no ammunition left,” your hands shake at the realization.

“That doesn’t matter. We were never going to shoot our way out of here. I have a plan, ok? Just trust me, I have a plan, I just have to work out the kinks and we’re golden. You just distract Sam, try not to freak him out too much, and I’ll handle the rest,” Henry tells you, giving your shoulder a light squeeze.

“Okay,” you nod, sighing slightly as you frown. You feel horrible that Henry’s under all this pressure, you were half responsible for it all you suppose.

But Henry was your eldest brother, your big brother, and he always knew what to do-even when you didn’t.

[dtyfp2]

CAST

YLML masterlist

Taylor Russell as Odette Burrell

Young Mazino as Jesse

The rest of the cast as themselves

[dtyfp2]

Your Lips, My Lips

Cast

Preseason 1:

Season 1: Attic | New Friends | Prayers | The Burells | 3 Months Later | Showers | Secrets

5 year gap:

Season 2:

[dtyfp2]

THE LAST OF US UNIVERSE

Main Masterlist

Your Lips, My Lips (a story)

[dtyfp2]

Old friends

Evermore

It’s cold in the water, but you suppose it’s better than nothing. You and Aemon had ridden ahead of the group to find a good place to settle for the night, and to ensure there was a good place to hold Logain.

You had found one, and luckily it was even near a small river. You had found a spot where the current slowed and decided to wash up, slipping into the deep pool.

Aemon comes as well to wash up, coming in a bit away from you. You find it amusing how far he washes, how he doesn’t dare look your way.

You splash water at him, laughing as it hits him and he turns around, eyebrows raised. You splash him again, and this seems to be enough to force a smile on him, and he splashes you back.

You use weaves of water to splash him harder, so hard he’s drenched.

“That’s cheating, is that how you want to play?” He teases as he inches closer.

“As long as I win,” you shrug back, splashing again. He laughs as he flings water your way, and you can’t help but scream as he grabs a hold of you.

“I always let you win, my lady,” he grins, his forehead pressing against yours. The fun is gone, and in its place…tension. You’re so close your noses touch, your hand raises to touch his cheek as his hand moves up to cup the back of your head. You close the distance, kissing him passionately. The water no longer feels cold.

He backs the both of you up, so your feet can touch the ground. His hands roam your back as you keep yours planted around his neck, instinctually your legs wrap around his waist and his hand guides you up.

You can’t help but gasp when you feel something poke at your leg below you. He apologizes but you make no effort to move away.

“It’s ok,” you tell him as you bite your lip nervously, which only drives him crazier. You dare to grab one of his hands that were holding you up, bringing it up to your lips so you can press a kiss against his fingertips, slowly running it down your chest before stopping at your breast.

“Gael-“

“I want you to…if you want to,” you say quietly, tilting your head so you can meet his gaze.

“I want to,” he affirms, leaning back up so he can continue to kiss you. His hand moves on its own accord, gently squeezing, as if to see what you liked.

His beard scratches at your skin when he moves to kiss your neck, but you find yourself yearning for it. It’s familiar, and you’re enveloped by his scent.

“Aemon-“

The whinny of approaching horses draws you both for your moment. You can’t help but sigh as he stops kissing you.

“You finish washing, I’ll go,” you tell him as you drop your legs from around him.

You press a kiss to his cheek before telling him to turn around so you could get dressed.

By the time you finish and start heading back to camp, the others are already setting up their things.

“Lan! Where did you come from?” You ask giddily, running over to him and enveloping him into a bear hug.

“Gael, you have become a woman grown since I last saw you,” he laughs as he returns your hug. Over his shoulder, a woman you don’t recognize stands. She looks angry, but you offer her a smile anyway.

“It’s not my fault you and Moiraine have been gone. Where is she?” You ask as you pull apart. His face darkens for a moment, the happiness he felt seeing you fading.

“She was injured. She’s with Kerene now in the Green tent,” he tells you.

“I will go see, I’m a better healer than Kerene,” you assure him, offering him a comforting smile.

“Don’t let her hear you saying that,” he quips.

“Oi, Nynaeve, is that you?” You hear Aemon ask as he comes up behind you. You glance over at the girl with Lan, and she takes a shaky breath before daring to relax for a moment.

“Aemon, you are a sight for sore eyes. Where have you been?” She asks as she makes her way over to him. She smiles as she envelopes him into a hug, like the one you had just given Lan.

You wondered how they knew each other. You don’t remember him telling you about her, and you suddenly wonder if there was a reason.

“I heard you finally bonded the poor boy,” Lan mutters behind you.

“What else have you heard?” You question.

“That you have become an accepted, didn’t quite hear of you passed the final test though,” he comments as you raise your hand to show him your ring.

“Not yet, didn’t feel ready,” you admit to him.

“Nothing wrong with taking your time. And how was your accepted test? I heard you had a rough go,” he asks with a knowing look, almost fatherly.

“Maksim has a big mouth, doesn’t he,” you playfully roll your eyes.

“That he does, the biggest mouth in the White Tower,” he chuckles. You can’t help but laugh at the little nickname before saying your quick goodbye, jogging over to Kerene’s tent.

Inside, Moiraine is lying down with a wound near her shoulder. It had begun to fester, and there was a strange green poultice on top. Kerene was just getting ready to heal her once you came in.

“Let me do it, Kerene, you need your strength,” you tell the older woman, placing a hand on her shoulder as you take her place.

“She’s better at healing than you are, maybe it’s for the best,” Moiraine quips through ragid breaths.

“Always so funny, Moiraine,” you smile down at her, something she does her best to return.

You summon weaves of spirit, air, and water to heal her, imagining the blood and muscles and bones fusing back to one another. You add your own light in, to give her the energy boost she so desperately needed.

Moiraine sighs as she sits up, giving your hand a light squeeze in thanks.

“It’s good to see you again Gael, you grow in power and beauty every time I see you,” she smiles.

“I know,” you scrunch your nose, which earns a laugh out of her. You get the sense she and Kerene need to have a conversation so you leave the tent. Lan is catching up with Stepin but looks over when you exit, and you give him a thumbs up to assure him she was alright.

You look for Aemon, and you can see he’s still talking with, what was her name, Nynaeve? They’re a bit more secluded now, and it looks quite serious.

You’re sure he’ll tell you eventually, so you go to take over for Alanna and Liandrin. Moiraine and Kerene drop by, and Moiraine even offers to help shield, but you assure her you’ll be fine and to get her strength up before she helps.

Thats where you remain for the rest of the day, at least until nightfall. Around the time you start thinking that you’re hungry, Aemon comes in with some food and a solemn look. He drags the extra chair over so he can sit closer to you as he hands over a small bowl of soup.

He sits hunched over, one of his hands resting on your knee as you eat.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, your hand raising to rub his shoulder.

“Nothing, but everything at the same time,” he answers vaguely, reaching up to grab your hand.

“The woman Lan and Moiraine brought, her name is Nynaeve Al’Meara. She is from Emond’s field, same as I, she was the new wisdom when I left,” he begins to explain.

“Were you friends?” You ask. You wonder if he ever liked her. She was beautiful.

“Somewhat, she was a couple years older than me, always a little too serious, but Two River folk always look out for their own,” he smiles softly as he sits up. He pulls a small bag out of his pocket.

“Lan and Moiraine were in the Two Rivers. I had asked Lan, before he left, to grab a few things for me if he was ever in the area,” he says as he pulls a couple things out out. One was a book, a necklace, and a knife.

The book looked old, it was obvious repairs had been made to it. He hands it over to you, and the ink has faded so much it was practically unreadable.

“It was passed down, supposedly belonged to the last Sun Summoner. I don’t know how much you’ll get out of it though,” he says as he watches you flip through a few pages.

“It’s written in the old tongue!” You gasp as you lean forward. You turn to share your amazement with him, but find that he’s turning the necklace in his palm.

“Aemon?”

“This belonged to my mother. Before she died, she gave it to me and told me to give it to the woman I loved when I grew up, so she could continue to look after me,” he tells you, placing the pendant in your palm. It was metal forged, a little sun. It was worn through its years of use, but sentimentally beautiful nonetheless.

“Will you wear it?” He asks, his voice as vulnerable as you’d ever heard it. You turn to look at him, forcing him to look back at you. His eyes were a little red. You nod your head earnestly, words completely escaping you. You press a kiss to his cheek, in an effort to comfort him.

“Are you saying you love me, Aemon Dayne?” You ask, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yes, I love you, I thought I had made it obvious,” he chuckles as you smile bashfully. You hand him the necklace and motion for him to put it on for you. His hands linger on your shoulders as he does, and he leans down to press a kiss on the back of your neck.

“I love you too,” you tell him as he sits back down. He leans forward and presses a light kiss to your lips.

“And what about the knife?” You ask him, remembering the last of the three objects.

“It was my father’s, also the first blade I ever held. This one I’ll keep,” he tells you, allowing you to hold it. It was a simple blade, the strings frayed at the hilt.

“And what else is troubling you? Is Nynaeve alright?” You ask him, drawing back to reality a bit. Why had she come all this way?

“The mission Moiraine and Lan left for 2 years ago, they were off trying to find the dragon reborn. Apparently they were reborn 20 years ago. Moiraine thinks it’s one of my friends from the Two Rivers. They were travelling together to come to the White Tower, but they all got separated and lost. Moiraine and Lan have promised to find them, with resources from the Tower once we’re back,” he tells you.

“The dragon reborn?” Your mouth falls open as you turn to look at Logain.

“It’s not him, he’s 10 years too old at least,” Aemon shakes his head.

“Gael…I’m going to help look for them when we get back. I have to, it’s Rand and Perrin-“

“We will find them, together,” you promise him as you force yourself to put the shock aside.

“You don’t need to help me. This is my problem-“

“No, not anymore. When we first bonded you promised me that I’d never have to face my troubles alone, well the bond works both ways. You are my Soldat sol, your losses are mine, your responsibilities are mine, and mine are yours,” you shake your head as your hand raises to cup the back of his head.

“Where you go, I go, in this life and the next.”