dude-be-nice

[dude-be-nice]

*scrolls far back into my blog* oh yes…i was suffering quite vigorously here

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you know what? im gunna say it

my trauma didnt make me a better or stronger person and i shouldnt have to act like it did to be taken seriously

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Imagine staying friends with someone and letting them get attached to you emotionally just so you could fuck them and then stop being their friend.

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when is god just gonna *slitting my throat hand motion* help me out here

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when will my emotion regulation come back from the war

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i really fucking hate my body and i want to tear myself apart so i don’t exist anymore

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Was I too much or not enough?

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Nothing particularly makes sense right now and I don’t know what is real and what isn’t and I don’t know if I care

//

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i feel like im just waiting for someone to inject me with emotions again

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i wish that people either didn’t care about me so that i could disappear without bothering anyone, or that people cared about me in the first place so i wouldn’t feel this way.

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Zoloft ain’t shit on you babe

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Friend: please don’t kill yourself. I’d miss you.

Me: oh god don’t worry I’d never do anything I’d know would hurt you like that

Also me: but how can we distance ourselves and show them it’s actually a good idea for me to die so that we can commit suicide soon tho

[dude-be-nice]

Something BPD taught me...

If you lift your tongue to the roof of your mouth and clench your teeth hard enough, you won’t cry.