dumbassphysicist

[dumbassphysicist]

hi tumblr,

i come to you in times of extreme distress. i would also like to come here when i am overwhelmed with happiness but it seems like a distant dream at this time and place.

i understand that it’s the very essence of life (being sad, frustrated, lonely and stressed) and i do accept it, probably more than many of my counterparts. but what adds to it is the fact that things will keep getting worse. i’ll have bigger, more unsolvable things in the future that will haunt me and that scares the shit out of me. i don’t think i am brave enough to face them. what will i do? who will help me? i have no qualms asking for help but who will and more importantly, who can?

there are people who find their solace in their faith but that too is such a sharp double edged sword. i guess i could choose that. it seems better than the options of insanity and drug overdose. far better than ending it all too.

i keep wishing that i didn’t have to deal with any of these problems / stressful things that haunt me but even these are of my choosing. the question is, if i do have so much power that i am able to choose my stresses and problems, why can’t i also embrace them and work towards solving them? i mean, it is inherently a part of it right? when i have chosen these problems.

hmmmmm.

maybe i’m on to something.

maybe i can figure this out after all.

maybe i can find alternatives to what can’t be solved.

or maybe i can move mountains to still solve the unsolvable.

i just pray that i find the strength to be able to do it.

yours, a.

[dumbassphysicist]

hi mister,

I am writing this here because I don’t know if I would ever get a chance to say absolutely anything to you at all. I don’t even have anything specific to say to you or to ask you of something, but I would just like to be able to say things. I think it would make me quite happy, if you also get just as excited about the same.

I see that you’re single right now. it is a bit surprising to me. you must have dated some people at least, I hope. why are you single right now? I mean, sure you must have your reasons but even this news makes me so akdosisjxj, just because I can’t get myself to do anything about it, even with the opportunity.

I just keep thinking that you will absolutely not like me right now because I feel inadequate myself and I wouldn’t want to project that on you, or anyone else. it’s a work in progress though and hopefully it will not be the case soon.

apart from that, I have so many irrational fears about what is bound to happen in the future. I have come to realise that I crave constant change and I dread it at the same time. it’s really weird.

yours, a.

[dumbassphysicist]

dear tumblr,

aliens are on their way

please prepare your ten questions

they will make an appearance on my podcast

[dumbassphysicist]

man always suffers in a prison of his own making

man searches for something to blame for his struggle

man finds god

man makes god suffer