dumpsterangelted

[dumpsterangelted]

"Yeah, well, there's no accounting for taste is there?" he grumbled. "So what do you want to do? I guess we're soulmates so we're probably going to do something and magically find out we both like it, right?"

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet my new assistant, Melissa." Ken said as he lead Melissa into the break room. "She's fairly new in town, so I want all of you to show her respe-"

Ted was sitting with Charlotte when Ken walked in. He was grinning when he glanced over and Ken’s words stopped short. The new girl was hugging her torso when he met her gaze and he could only let out a groan. “You?” he demanded, standing up. “Well, I’m Ted. Sorry about that.”

[dumpsterangelted]

"Oh, nice, 'cause the universe says you're gonna be TaMine," Ted chuckled, opening a soda and turning on the TV only to find static. "A cruel, capricious universe that shut off any form of modern entertainment that isn't books while you're with your 'soulmate'."

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet my new assistant, Melissa." Ken said as he lead Melissa into the break room. "She's fairly new in town, so I want all of you to show her respe-"

Ted was sitting with Charlotte when Ken walked in. He was grinning when he glanced over and Ken’s words stopped short. The new girl was hugging her torso when he met her gaze and he could only let out a groan. “You?” he demanded, standing up. “Well, I’m Ted. Sorry about that.”

[dumpsterangelted]

Ted led her out of the building and to his place. "This is Casa De Spankoffski," he grinned, showing her around the small apartment. "I don't think I caught your name," he remarked, plopping down on the couch. "Davidson probably mentioned it but I barely listen to a word that comes out of his mouth."

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet my new assistant, Melissa." Ken said as he lead Melissa into the break room. "She's fairly new in town, so I want all of you to show her respe-"

Ted was sitting with Charlotte when Ken walked in. He was grinning when he glanced over and Ken’s words stopped short. The new girl was hugging her torso when he met her gaze and he could only let out a groan. “You?” he demanded, standing up. “Well, I’m Ted. Sorry about that.”

[dumpsterangelted]

“Be, uh, comfortable?” Ted responded, confused that it wasn’t obvious. “We could go to your place too, I guess, I’m just not staying here if I’m not getting paid for it.”

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet my new assistant, Melissa." Ken said as he lead Melissa into the break room. "She's fairly new in town, so I want all of you to show her respe-"

Ted was sitting with Charlotte when Ken walked in. He was grinning when he glanced over and Ken’s words stopped short. The new girl was hugging her torso when he met her gaze and he could only let out a groan. “You?” he demanded, standing up. “Well, I’m Ted. Sorry about that.”

[dumpsterangelted]

“Oh, don’t worry sweetheart, you’ll get them,” he assured her. “Alright, well, since we’ve gotten the day off work, do you wanna get outta here? We can go back to my place.” He grabbed his coat and poured his mug out in the sink, kicking himself when he remember it would’ve been just fine when he came back in a week.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet my new assistant, Melissa." Ken said as he lead Melissa into the break room. "She's fairly new in town, so I want all of you to show her respe-"

Ted was sitting with Charlotte when Ken walked in. He was grinning when he glanced over and Ken’s words stopped short. The new girl was hugging her torso when he met her gaze and he could only let out a groan. “You?” he demanded, standing up. “Well, I’m Ted. Sorry about that.”

[dumpsterangelted]

Ted snorted, sitting back in his chair. “Go in for a temp job, come out with a soul mate, huh,” he remarked, ignoring her question and opting to look around the room instead. He was handling this badly, this was going to be an awkward week if he made the one person that he could talk to think he was a total dick. “You could’ve had anyone else on the planet and you got stuck with me. I think that’s enough to be sorry for,” he shrugged. 

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet my new assistant, Melissa." Ken said as he lead Melissa into the break room. "She's fairly new in town, so I want all of you to show her respe-"

Ted was sitting with Charlotte when Ken walked in. He was grinning when he glanced over and Ken’s words stopped short. The new girl was hugging her torso when he met her gaze and he could only let out a groan. “You?” he demanded, standing up. “Well, I’m Ted. Sorry about that.”

[dumpsterangelted]

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet my new assistant, Melissa." Ken said as he lead Melissa into the break room. "She's fairly new in town, so I want all of you to show her respe-"

Ted was sitting with Charlotte when Ken walked in. He was grinning when he glanced over and Ken’s words stopped short. The new girl was hugging her torso when he met her gaze and he could only let out a groan. “You?” he demanded, standing up. “Well, I’m Ted. Sorry about that.”

[dumpsterangelted]

"You won't lose it, will you?" he asked, eyebrow raised. "I mean, even if you did, I'm pretty sure this is my only shot at marriage." A humorless chuckle spilled out of him before he pushed his chair back and stood up. "I need to get ready for work. I'll see you around, Liss."

💒 but make it spicy so Melissa -RelaxTalkFuck

Slowly blinking awake, Melissa let out a faint sigh when she saw Ted asleep next to her. She groaned quietly as she got up, quickly looking in the trash and nodding in satisfaction before heading into the washroom to take a shower, rubbing her head slightly. After a few moments, a loud yelp of surprise came from the room and she hurried back to roughly shake Ted awake. @relaxtalkfuck

[dumpsterangelted]

"Y-You can still wear it, if you wanted," Ted told her in a soft voice before clearing his throat. "I mean, the only man in Hatchetfield that doesn't care when it comes to hitting on women with wedding rings on is the one who put it on your finger so that creep at Beanie's might finally leave you alone."

💒 but make it spicy so Melissa -RelaxTalkFuck

Slowly blinking awake, Melissa let out a faint sigh when she saw Ted asleep next to her. She groaned quietly as she got up, quickly looking in the trash and nodding in satisfaction before heading into the washroom to take a shower, rubbing her head slightly. After a few moments, a loud yelp of surprise came from the room and she hurried back to roughly shake Ted awake. @relaxtalkfuck

[dumpsterangelted]

As her hand slipped off of his shoulder, Ted leaned forward again to rest his head back in his hands. "I wonder what spurred all this on, you know, last night?" he wondered aloud, "Do you remember anything? The last thing I remember was showing up at Connie's pissed off but I have no idea why. What in the hell were we drinking? Rufies?"

💒 but make it spicy so Melissa -RelaxTalkFuck

Slowly blinking awake, Melissa let out a faint sigh when she saw Ted asleep next to her. She groaned quietly as she got up, quickly looking in the trash and nodding in satisfaction before heading into the washroom to take a shower, rubbing her head slightly. After a few moments, a loud yelp of surprise came from the room and she hurried back to roughly shake Ted awake. @relaxtalkfuck

[dumpsterangelted]

Ted relaxed under her touch. "I mean, I don't think it'd be that bad," he shrugged stubbornly. He rested his hand on top of hers, grateful for the human contact. "I mean, better to be married to you than someone like Paul."

💒 but make it spicy so Melissa -RelaxTalkFuck

Slowly blinking awake, Melissa let out a faint sigh when she saw Ted asleep next to her. She groaned quietly as she got up, quickly looking in the trash and nodding in satisfaction before heading into the washroom to take a shower, rubbing her head slightly. After a few moments, a loud yelp of surprise came from the room and she hurried back to roughly shake Ted awake. @relaxtalkfuck

[dumpsterangelted]

Ted let out a sigh, the hysteria fading only slightly. "You're right, you're right," he admitted, putting his head in his hands. "I'm not handling this very well am I?" he chuckled softly, leaning back into the chair. "I'm sorry, Mel."

💒 but make it spicy so Melissa -RelaxTalkFuck

Slowly blinking awake, Melissa let out a faint sigh when she saw Ted asleep next to her. She groaned quietly as she got up, quickly looking in the trash and nodding in satisfaction before heading into the washroom to take a shower, rubbing her head slightly. After a few moments, a loud yelp of surprise came from the room and she hurried back to roughly shake Ted awake.  @relaxtalkfuck

[dumpsterangelted]

"No, you know what?" he insisted, the train of thought going buck wild in his head. "I deserve to have someone who treats me like they actually wanna be with me. Fuck Charlotte." As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he didn't mean them. "If that's okay with you, of course. If you wanna be my girl-wife-friend." Hysteria had taken over, making him more okay than he should have been with the prospect. This was Melissa, he reminded himself. Someone who had no interest in him whatsoever outside of being his friend.

But, of course, if that was true. Why had she agreed to marry him?

💒 but make it spicy so Melissa -RelaxTalkFuck

Slowly blinking awake, Melissa let out a faint sigh when she saw Ted asleep next to her. She groaned quietly as she got up, quickly looking in the trash and nodding in satisfaction before heading into the washroom to take a shower, rubbing her head slightly. After a few moments, a loud yelp of surprise came from the room and she hurried back to roughly shake Ted awake.  @relaxtalkfuck

[dumpsterangelted]

"Yeah," Ted nodded absently, before a thought popped in his mind, "Or we don't and I just use this to make her jealous," he shrugged with a sleazy grin. He was half serious but maybe knowing he was off the market for good might finally knock some sense into Charlotte, he hoped.

💒 but make it spicy so Melissa -RelaxTalkFuck

Slowly blinking awake, Melissa let out a faint sigh when she saw Ted asleep next to her. She groaned quietly as she got up, quickly looking in the trash and nodding in satisfaction before heading into the washroom to take a shower, rubbing her head slightly. After a few moments, a loud yelp of surprise came from the room and she hurried back to roughly shake Ted awake.  @relaxtalkfuck

[dumpsterangelted]

TED. fmk. Paul, Bill, Melissa

OH, OH, that’s cake walk pal.

f: bill

m: Mel

k: paul (maybe he should’ve invite me to coffee more 😤)

[dumpsterangelted]

"Not raw," he muttered absently, sitting at the table and putting his head in his hands. He couldn't care less about eggs right now, though he knew his stomach was begging for them. "However you make them for yourself is fine with me." The true answer was scrambled with cheese but she didn't have to do all that. "How am I going to tell Charlotte?" he whispered softly to himself.

💒 but make it spicy so Melissa -RelaxTalkFuck

Slowly blinking awake, Melissa let out a faint sigh when she saw Ted asleep next to her. She groaned quietly as she got up, quickly looking in the trash and nodding in satisfaction before heading into the washroom to take a shower, rubbing her head slightly. After a few moments, a loud yelp of surprise came from the room and she hurried back to roughly shake Ted awake.  @relaxtalkfuck

[dumpsterangelted]

"Quarter past ten," he groaned, checking his watch. "We still have... Plenty of time." He gave her a salacious wink and moved into kiss her, fully prepared to make up for lost time.

♡ (thehatchetfielders charlotte)

The first thing Ted noticed when he started to stir was the sea of hair covering his face. The menu from the movie he and Charlotte had been watching was playing on loop, adding to the surreal feeling in this apartment. Charlotte was snoring softly on his chest, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. 'What in the hell had happened?' he asked himself. They were supposed to just come back to his place and have sex, how had she ended up asleep on his chest?

@thehatchetfielders