dunktankstooge

[dunktankstooge]

Rutgers University wrestler Conor Wasson ain’t got no shame in his game. From here it looks like he’s packing all that limp, so I imagine when he puts his girls in a hold they feel him for days. You know you’ve arrived when the first word that pops up after the name “Conor Wasson” in Google is “bulge”.

[dunktankstooge]

CEPTIC TANK STOOGE

The private white male only club needed to raise money to feed their stud mule “BIG BO” and fix their backed up ceptic tank, Big Bo made good money in stud fees and was trained to perform his duty on demand. This saturday night i slipped into my skintight, white Elvis bellbottom jumpsuit. Thats when the president of the racist club stopped me on the street and asked if i could use $20 bucks? He told me all i had to do was sit my ass down in a certain place and relax. Being the dumb lazy coon i is  i said SURE! thats when a couple of Big White Redneck club members came over and pushed me into their van. We ended up down a muddy dirt road. I saw their clubhouse and could hear the drunken bruders inside, i was led around back to the coral where Big BO was . Thats when i saw the ceptic tank that was uncovered and filled with a month of  Bruders shit, piss and warm beer. They made me sit on a spot directly above this tank of smelly brown GOOEY OOZE. The back door of the club opened and all the racist, arrogant, WHITE men poured out and were told “STEP right up and DUNK a coon” $10 buckkks a throw…. Thats when i knew i was gonna get DUNKED in the tank of their shit….i spred my legs apart showing the buldge in my skintight white(for now) pants and all these drunkin men threw down $10 bucks . It only took 4 guys before the biggest, most arrogant bruder landed a direct hit…. SPLATT…to the TOTAL amusement of all them guys i ended up ass first in the tank of manure…..want to hear what happens next?  

[dunktankstooge]

Do your jobbers ever have to work the dunk tank when the carnival comes to town?

The answer is that some poor fools must have this task, and of course it’s best when they are professionally trained slapstick performers who are able to cope with the physical rigours – and the mental challenges, too. It’s a tough life, getting messed-up repeatedly, day in, day out.

As you know, the dunk tank is a time-honoured means of attracting the crowds, whether it’s on a fairground, or as a side-show to the circus. Surprisingly, recruiting those who are prepared to be on the receiving end is never a problem: there’s an inexhaustible supply of applicants - men with an urge to be seen getting messed-up, men who actively seek out public humiliation.

(Let’s be clear - jobbers aren’t involved. You can’t combine the role of a professional wrestler with that of a dunk tank stooge. For a start, the hours conflict, and secondly pro-wrestling jobbers already have enough indignity to contend with: imagine what it’s like to walk out into the ring knowing you’re going to finish with being powerbombed to the canvas three times in succession and lose to a folding press with your backside up in the air, your packet on display from behind, and your trunks riding up to expose the briefs you have on underneath.)

Returning to dunk tanks, as you’ll also be aware, there are two main types.

There’s the style that is basically a see-through rectangular box. It is divided in half by a shelf that has a trap door. The gunk fills the top chamber; the stooge sits in the chamber beneath. Once the trigger has released the trap door, the gloop pours through over the poor stooge below. The box is set at its rear into a revolving clasp so that the entire contraption can be turned upside down, enabling the procedure to begin again.

And then there’s the style where there’s an actual tank or large inflatable pool filled to the brim with gloop. Above this, the stooge sits on some kind of suspended platform that collapses once a target is struck, thereby dropping him - or sending him down a slide - into the muck.

What’s common to both these ways of operating is that there’s a usually a portable shower out of the punters’ sight, where the stooge attempts to clean himself in between his numerous messings as quickly as possible. And to prevent too much of the gunk material from being abstracted by the stooges’ bodies and sluiced away in the shower and wasted, the stooges must scrape off what they can of it before they wash themselves. The gunk that has been retrieved in this fashion is recycled to the tank.

There are frequently two stooges on duty sharing the work - they appear one after the other - but there are rarely any more than this. (When there’s only one stooge, punters may not bother waiting at the empty booth while the stooge is showering. If they see there’s no chance of any action they’ll wander off instead.)

The life of a dunk tank stooge is brutal in numerous ways.

Firstly, it’s relentless. Step into the box and have around 2,000 litres of gunge dropped over your head till it covers your body and reaches up to your mouth, shower, return to the box, repeat. And repeat ad infinitum.

(It’s a similar procedure if you’re on a booby-trapped platform, except that you can expect to fall up to one-and-a-half metres into a tank that holds perhaps six times that quantity of gloop.)

What has to be emphasised is that you as a stooge must do this again and again. And again and again and again. There are no limits to the number of times you might get messed up during the course of a working day, and these can be gruellingly long, while a six-day week is the norm. The dunk tank needs to operate all the while that punters are around. If you’re a stooge, don’t expect any sort of a break.

You’re under enormous pressure to shower yourself clean (or clean-ish) and get back to the booth super-fast. The management will expect there to be a stooge ready and waiting for another messing at all times.

Secondly, everything about the job is nasty. For a start, you have to share costumes. You come out of the shower and grab whatever’s on top of the communal pile – the next pair of shorts, tank-top, or Speedos. Your colleague wore them last, but you’ll be thankful if they’ve dried out since their last rinsing.

You’re probably going to be using a primitive portable shower. Its’ reservoir ought to be refilled frequently with fresh water, but this may be impractical, in which case you’re merely sluicing yourself down with a diluted solution of the gunge you’ve had dumped over you, and which you and your colleague have already shared countless times earlier in the day.

Next, the gunk is cold. It’s not going to be heated for you. If you’re lucky, the water in the shower may be warm, which will be your only chance to restore your body temperature.

The gunk isn’t clean. At least, it won’t be for most of your contract. When the booth first operates, the gunk will still be fresh. Then, it’s a neutral, inert mixture that’s had colour added (the basis is usually some form of methyl cellulose which is the chief ingredient of wallpaper paste as well as certain food thickeners).  

However, it doesn’t take long for this concoction to become adulterated. Airborne viruses are sufficient to set it deteriorating. And because the gunk is partly recycled off your own and your colleague’s bodies, you need to be inured to the reality that the mixture with which you’re making repeated full bodily contact increasingly incorporates dead skin, spit, sweat, and snot. Plus (and I’m sorry to mention this, but it’s a fact, given you’re unlikely to be allowed any kind of rest-break) piss as well. After a few weeks, the mixture will be rank. Though this is what you’ll have dumped over you - or be falling into – repeatedly.

Unless you’re extremely tough and resilient, you’ll most likely suffer various forms of minor ailments as a result of your daily treatment. But unless you turn up for work you won’t get paid. (And overwhelmingly probably, the pay will be miserable anyway.) You’ve developed a skin infection, an eye infection, an ear infection? Too bad. Change into these trunks and get back to the booth. You’ll be told there’s a list six pages long of men who’d like to take your job.

These are the physical hardships you’ll face as a dunk tank stooge: are there also mental ones?

‘Definitely,’ says Wesley Gittings who gave up a good job in IT to tour with a carnival for three years. ‘It can get to you. I used to wake up in the mornings in a basic trailer and all I’d have as the prospect for my day ahead was that I’d have gunge poured over me time and time and time again. And I’d think why the hell am I putting myself through this? What I’m doing is degrading. Absolutely no-one respects you for it.’

‘I’ll admit I don’t have the greatest body in the world, so I’d be out there each time before I got messed in just a pair of swim-briefs, and I’d have kids of no more than eight or ten in front of the booth laughing at me. And then when a punter managed to throw the quoit onto the stick and the muck went all over me the kids would all go, “Eugh! He’s crazy!” And do you know what? Maybe I was.’

‘Eventually I had to come to terms with the fact that wanting to get messed-up in public was a compulsion. I realised I needed to be seen being humiliated, and although the work as a gunk tank stooge harmed me in all kinds of ways and exhausted me totally, my hunger for having it done to me over and over and over again just kept growing. I knew I was being exploited, but I wanted to be exploited. Sometimes I hated myself for doing what I was doing, but I couldn’t have borne it if somebody else was the full-time dunk tank stooge and not me. I just had to do it.’

[dunktankstooge]

How does one sign up for the dunk tank or the egg toss?

You have to audition in your skin tight wranglers with the carnival boss

[dunktankstooge]

it’s humiliating for Niggers to wear posing trunks like this

And the WINNER is….

[dunktankstooge]

Welcome to the muscle man carnival.William is the stooge at the egg throwing contest. If you buy an egg to throw at William and hit the bulge in his trunks, you get to come up and throw a pie in his face. Any place else on Willaims body you hit, you get to enjoy watching Willam get messy and humiliation

William Martins

[dunktankstooge]

Here is Mark Lindsey at the traveling carnival’s egg toss game. The target of the eggs is anywhere on his jeans, to see him face the humiliation of raw egg on his tight wranglers. If the red neck hits Mark’s belt buckle, then the broken egg will make Mark’s huge bulge in the crotch of his wranglers slimes with egg. That is also a bulls eye and Mark has to turn around and shit his jeans. He had steak and baked beans for dinner last night and was not allowed to take a dump any time today before coming to work at the carnival.

[dunktankstooge]

Why don't you hire more clowns for your dunk tank? Don't ask a regular guy to do the job of a dumb bozo stooge, lol

It would be humiliating for bozo the clown to be the dunk tank stooge. The other clown, Rusty, can sell the balls and be the dunk tank barker. What do you think?

[dunktankstooge]

It was so embarrassing for Mark Lindsey to have to work all summer at the traveling carnival’s pie in the face booth. The barker makes him wear his speedo trunks so everybody can see his horse dick hanging out

Pies to me!

[dunktankstooge]

[dunktankstooge]

Ross is the next guy in the dunk tank. Too bad he forgot to pack his jock in his gym bag

[dunktankstooge]

Nigger biggest duck contest at the circus side show

[dunktankstooge]

Anthony is next in the nigger dunk tank

He finally posted that dick

[dunktankstooge]

Can’t hide the boner