duskvsdawn

[duskvsdawn]

Emotional Walls Your Character Has Built (And What Might Finally Break Them)

(How your character defends their soft core and what could shatter it) Because protection becomes prison real fast.

✶ Sarcasm as armor. (Break it with someone who laughs gently, not mockingly.) ✶ Hyper-independence. (Break it with someone who shows up even when they’re told not to.) ✶ Stoicism. (Break it with a safe space to fall apart.) ✶ Flirting to avoid intimacy. (Break it with real vulnerability they didn’t see coming.) ✶ Ghosting everyone. (Break it with someone who won’t take silence as an answer.) ✶ Lying for convenience. (Break it with someone who sees through them but stays anyway.) ✶ Avoiding touch. (Break it with accidental, gentle contact that feels like home.) ✶ Oversharing meaningless things to hide real depth. (Break it with someone who asks the second question.) ✶ Overworking. (Break it with forced stillness and the terrifying sound of their own thoughts.) ✶ Pretending not to care. (Break it with a loss they can’t fake their way through.) ✶ Avoiding mirrors. (Break it with a quiet compliment that hits too hard.) ✶ Turning every conversation into a joke. (Break it with someone who doesn’t laugh.) ✶ Being everyone’s helper. (Break it when someone asks what they need, and waits for an answer.) ✶ Constantly saying “I’m fine.” (Break it when they finally scream that they’re not.) ✶ Running. Always running. (Break it with someone who doesn’t chase, but doesn’t leave, either.) ✶ Intellectualizing every feeling. (Break it with raw, messy emotion they can’t logic away.) ✶ Trying to be the strong one. (Break it when someone sees the weight they’re carrying, and offers to help.) ✶ Hiding behind success. (Break it when they succeed and still feel empty.) ✶ Avoiding conflict at all costs. (Break it when silence causes more pain than the truth.) ✶ Focusing on everyone else’s healing but their own. (Break it when they hit emotional burnout.)

[duskvsdawn]

ayo...

this gives me so many thoughts, you have no idea. for anyone who still writes at the moment, I'm begging you to please make a fic where ver is hung like a horse and reader struggles to walk afterwards. thank you for your contribution.

[duskvsdawn]

ikey my beloved... we miss you :(

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ there it is again, that funny feeling ]❜

━━━ .°˖✧ requested by @duskvsdawn ˚₊ ⊹

ft. ike eveland x f! reader — luxiem, nijisanji en

╰₊✧ after years apart, you reunite with your childhood best friend, and ike finds his little puppy crush of the past hitting him at full force once again┊1.2k words

contains: fluff! childhood best friends to implied lovers, no time travel lore au, it’s all modern timeline, mention of bullying

➤ author's note: i miss him :( (also this took a while because i got stuck half-way through and my brain stopped working for some reason lmao so that’s why it’s so short sorry T-T i hope this silly little thing made you smile ily meli <3)

he’s been waiting for this day for months now, nervously holding his cell phone in hand, and awaiting a text or a call or some indication that your flight had landed. there were also flowers and balloons with him, making him stand out among tired civilians, but he wondered if he was doing too much, or alternatively, doing too little. it’s just been so long, he isn’t even sure what you like anymore, if you were going to be touched by the gesture or if you were going to make a forced smile because you thought it was tacky— was blue even still your favorite color? it was a little bit of information he vaguely remembered when you had chosen the blue cupcake over the red one at a birthday party because you said it was your favorite, but he didn’t know it was still the case more than ten years later.

god, he’s so nervous for no reason at all, taking out a napkin from his pocket to wipe off the perspiration from his hands and forehead. you wouldn’t care about the colors, he knows that, you would be overtly flattered and would gush about how sweet he was for the amount of effort he put into your welcome. 

it’s been forever since the two of you last met in real life. thirteen years, four months, and ten days, but who’s counting? usually, all that time spent apart would cause a gradual drift in closeness. but you guys took the phrase “best friends forever” a bit too seriously when meeting as elementary school students. when he moved back to sweden to continue his education in his home country, the two of you exchanged letters monthly for years before switching to weekly video calls and gaming sessions. of course, as adult life and responsibilities became more prioritized, it eventually shifted back to monthly, but each call felt like there was never a gap at all.

this trip to see him was a spontaneous idea. you had just had a difficult semester, and now that summer was approaching, you were looking for a way to spend some of your hard-earned money and relax for a bit. ike suggested sweden as a joke, but he was thrilled to see that you loved the idea and booked plane tickets within the hour. you had always wanted to go to europe, and visiting one of your dearest best friends, whom you haven’t seen in the flesh for ages, was so exciting to you. 

“ike! i’m over here!” your familiar voice rang out crystal clear in the busy airport, catching him off guard with how different it sounded compared to how it usually translated over voice call. he turned his head and was swiftly nearly knocked off his heeled feet as you basically attempted to tackle him to the ground. “oh my god, i missed you so much— you’re so much taller than how i remember— are these for me? you really shouldn’t have!”

he laughed at how energetic you were despite the long flight, almost like seeing your sight for sore eyes old friend recharged your batteries instantly. “i missed you too, how was your flight?”

“it could have been worse. there was a baby right behind me, and i was so scared they would start crying, but they stayed asleep almost the entire time, so there isn’t anything to complain about!... but, actually, the food was pretty ass…” 

“well, it’s almost lunchtime, so i’ll take you out to eat, my treat! i know all of the best places around here.”

“it better be your treat! imagine if you just let a helpless maiden like me pay for her first meal in a foreign country—”

“you’re anything but a helpless maiden, you literally used to beat up my bullies after school.”

you scoffed at his snarky answer, but smiled, the same smile he remembered he used frequently to fawn over. you really haven’t changed much, you were taller and had your hair styled differently, but he could still see the girl he grew up with in your shadow. 

the girl he grew up with, the girl he used to have the fattest crush on.

the memory seemed distant at first, something that didn’t even come to mind when you came, but as you sat down across from him in that cafe, your order of two pastries and a coffee in your hand, he found himself reminiscing on how he thought he was in love with you for the longest time while you prattled on about something or other. 

back when he was a young and naive kid, he would tell his mom that he wanted to marry you when you both grew up, drew pictures of the two of you together under a rainbow, and wrote his first poems about you. he’s certain you knew about it to some extent, maybe someone whispered it to you, or you figured it out easily because you weren’t as dense as he was, but regardless, you didn’t bring it up and simply continued as best friends. you never went any further than friends, but perhaps there’s a chance that could change?

god, what is he thinking? you’ve barely been in the country for more than three hours and his forgotten puppy crush on you was hitting him like a truck trying to isekai him. 

“that reminds me, do you have a girlfriend? or maybe a boyfriend?” your voice had a mischievous tone to it as if you were about to have a gossip session. “i just realized we never talked about this kind of stuff over call.”

“me? no.”

“you answered that way too fast. all these years with that pretty face, and you’re telling me you haven’t had any romantic partners? not even a situationship?”

you thought he had a pretty face?

“w-well, i guess the opportunity never came up…”

you stared at him for a moment in disbelief before chuckling, “it’s okay! there’s no need to be embarrassed about it, we’re still young and have so many years left of our lives…”

“what about you?” asking this was a dangerous double-edged sword. it would satisfy his curiosity, but he wasn’t quite sure if he could hide his facial expressions if you said you were currently in a relationship. 

“nah, not at the moment,” you answered with a sigh, “i mean, i’ve dated a few people, but nothing really stuck for longer than two years.”

“so you’re single?”

“yeah, for now… why, you wanna ask me out?”

“no! well, not because i don’t think you’re a catch or anything— you are— it’s just that—”

“relax! i’m just teasing you! anyway, do you remember mysta? the kid who said he would be the next sherlock holmes? i heard that he—” you continued talking, brushing off the conversation like it was nothing.

meanwhile, ike felt like he needed about a year to recover from the sheer panic that overcame him at the moment. was that the end of it, or were you going to bring it up again sometime in the near future? he didn’t think he would be ready for it, even the suggestion of you being aware of his feelings for you was enough to have him fainting. 

one thing is for certain: that funny feeling from back when he was a kid that made his heart twist and the butterflies in his stomach go wild has returned at full force, and he isn’t sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

request:

with how i'm feeling i would really love an Ike or Fuu-chan fic. Doesn't matter what it's about. Anything is fine. I just want something to bring a smile to my face :(

[duskvsdawn]

fucking marvelous *chef's kiss* so incredibly accurate too.

hihi. dunno if you accept liver x liver but if you do,

sonnyban hcs, please & thank you!!

@@ WANNYANZ ♡♡♡♡

i fucking LOVE SONNYBAN!!! first ever liver x liver req, i hope i made them accurate! i tried my best! sorry for it being so short as well

unrelated to req, im trying to work on other reqs! this one kind of made my inspiration spark since alban and sonny are my oshis (even though it took me a while because school is still going on)!

ART CREDS — zillerton on twt

Alban has a habit of stealing some of Sonny's things, sometimes its just to annoy Sonny, sometimes its just because he thought it was nice. At times Alban just fucks around with Sonny, stealing the smallest thing ever and waiting for Sonny to notice, but when Sonny doesn't he pouts and puts it back begrudgingly (sometimes Sonny does notice but he just thinks its Alban wanting the item, and he just lets him)

They both try to go on dates in quiet cafes, the aquarium, or study dates in the library, but they're stupid. They become way too loud after one stupid joke or comment and either get told to shut up or get kicked out, I do not take any other answers

They definitely go to karaoke nights and sing their hearts out together, love songs or just regular ones they enjoy, they're singing so loud to the point they lose their voices. Sonny sometimes just admires Alban when Albans singing, he loves his wife a lot

Alban likes matching stupid ass pyjamas, and Sonny indulges him. Sometimes Sonny buys some stupid slippers to match as well. Alban laughs at him for a long time before wearing it anyway

Sonny likes staying by Alban's side when either of them are streaming (of course not when they're both simultaneously streaming, but he wishes). He likes Alban's company a lot and would let Alban fall asleep on his shoulder when he plays Minecraft, would probably accidentally push him off if he switches games randomly though.

Sonny would probably draw on Alban's face to fuck with him if Alban falls asleep early, he apologizes with peppering him with kisses but it's still funny to see his reaction. Alban definitely does it back the night after, probably drawing a penis on Sonny's forehead if his bangs are tied up.

i swear im working on my requests, school and irls have been an ass recently

[duskvsdawn]

is it bad that i would just want a massive cuddle and kiss pile with all of the Niji EN boys? I love them so much and I need to cuddle them and kiss them cause of my god I love them so much.

[duskvsdawn]

lmao bitch wiped her alt twitter. but screenshots are out there. don't think we don't know. you can't claim to be a different person when you were still spewing hate a month ago.

[duskvsdawn]

[duskvsdawn]

I need to get this off my chest.

Why am I not surprised about the Twisty news? Because I saw how she treated her senpais, and that just felt really weird to me. People said things like "oh but that's just how she is" and "oh she's just joking". But idk the things she said and the was she said them just felt like a fucking knife between ribs to me. So disrespectful. Denauth is 2. There, I said it. Hope she's out the door soon. Good riddance.

[duskvsdawn]

OH MY GOD? THEY ARE BEING MEAN TO MY CHILD? THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE! YOU ALL NEED TO BACK THE FUCK OFF! HOW DARE YOU?! >:( THEY ARE SPEAKING THE TRUTH AND ALL OF YOU CAN DIE IN A FIRE!

maybe deactivating?

about what happened, some people dmed me about an insensitive post i made. i lost over 200+ oomfs because of it. i took it down but i still dont regret what i said. im not apologising for telling the truth that im dating all the male Nijisanji EN members like they are my own personal harem because I am a massive slut like that.

[duskvsdawn]

oh no! they abandoned you too cause they couldn't handle the truth? silly people... sorry, we just spitting facts over here. let us love in peace. and if you can't handle it, get the fuck outta my circle! Shu is currently watching over my shoulder as I type this and Ver is being a whiny baby asking me to come back to bed to cuddle cause it's still early, after all. Can't leave him waiting, I suppose!

Also, when did you guys get married?! I would have bought you guys a gift if I had known beforehand! Would have bought both of you something pretty to wear for the special day :( (I wish I could but I am fucking broke so just let me live in this one and only delusion I have, okay? T_T)

maybe deactivating?

about what happened, some people dmed me about an insensitive post i made. i lost over 200+ oomfs because of it. i took it down but i still dont regret what i said. im not apologising for telling the truth that im dating all the male Nijisanji EN members like they are my own personal harem because I am a massive slut like that.

[duskvsdawn]

[duskvsdawn]

maybe deactivating?

about what happened, some people dmed me about an insensitive post i made. i lost over 200+ oomfs because of it. i took it down but i still dont regret what i said. im not apologising for telling the truth that im dating all the male Nijisanji EN members like they are my own personal harem because I am a massive slut like that.

[duskvsdawn]

Caleb: I’ve been dropping her the most insanely obvious hints for like, years now. No response.

MC: Wow. She sound stupid.

Caleb: But she's not. She's really smart actually. Just dense.

MC: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Caleb: I guess you’re right. Hey MC, I love you.

MC: See! Just say that!

Caleb: Holy fucking shit.

MC: If that flies over her head then, sorry Caleb, but she's too dumb for you.

Caleb: MC.

[duskvsdawn]

someone please hug me.

I just woke up from a nap where I had a dream where lots of emotions were involved.

I had a dream about everyone (I don't even know most of the people that were in my dream) coming over to celebrate my birthday. As you all know, I hate my birthday. They wanted to spoil me to all hell and back, and brought snacks and gifted me lots of money. I fucking hated it and cried.

Some people, I really don't know who they were, came over as well and brought stuff that really shouldn't be in my house: alcohol. I struggled with alcohol addiction for quite some time, and I wouldn't say that seeing alcohol is a trigger for me. Not at all, people still drink around me all the time, and I am totally okay with that. But it was really clear they didn't know me at all and were just there for the party, cause they said "celebrating your 30th should have lots of alcohol in it and that I should just let loose for today." When they said that, I threw the bottles against the wall and ran to my bedroom crying.

They somehow managed to make one of the most traumatic things in my life even worse. Showering me with gifts, as you all know, I am terrible with gifts, and simply forcing me to be happy on a day where I simply can't be. Luckily, one of the mentors I like most was there, and she reminded me that there was a massive Niji karaoke collab happening, and she suggested I should just blast it over the tv and chill in front of it, not caring what my "guests" would think. That I should do something I enjoy. Some of my lovely online friends (if you're reading this, that probably includes you, cause there were quite a few) came over to comfort me and watch the stream with me. That felt really nice. Some occasionally brought me a snack so I wouldn't have to get up and lose even a single second of the stream.

That was nice. When one of you told the mentor about what happened and why I had been so upset, she got really angry and kicked the alcohol bringing people out of the house, far away from my ears, so I didn't have to hear it. She also kicked out the people who repeatedly told me to "just cheer up and enjoy the day". Because she knows full well that I didn't want to have this party in the first place, but I felt forced (like I had been for years) to "celebrate the most special day in your life".

It was apparently a long Niji stream, cause it felt like a long time where all of us chilled in front of the tv. It was so nice to be with all of you. And it was so nice to have the mentor there too. I love her to bits, and she knows me super well, so she knew exactly what people should and shouldn't do to hopefully make this day less traumatic and make it enjoyable for me. And all of you were really kind and understanding, too. You'd come up to me and just hug me and let me ramble about past traumas and how much I hated this day. You'd say things like "it's okay to be upset and hate this day, if I were in your shoes, I probably would too. It's okay to feel this way. Your feelings are valid, just know that." and it felt so nice that I woke up crying.

They say dreams always have a meaning. I'm not sure what this dream was trying to tell me, to be honest, but it was so incredibly nice to have all of you there to help me through it.

So, I guess this is me saying: thank you all. Thank you for always sticking by me. Even if my moods are all over the place once more, or I ramble about how much I hate things. It feels so incredibly nice to have people like you in my life who try to cheer me up by letting me do the things I like. I am terrible with compliments, and that's why all of you packaged it in such a way that it didn't feel like a compliment but just genuine support. It... It was nice. I am crying as I write this. All of you managed to make a terrible day that much better.

Oh, and we all lost our minds when Kaelix did a full version of Monitoring. We fangirled so fucking hard.

[duskvsdawn]

*sobs uncontrollably*

T.S.

| In which you release an original song, Enchanted (t.s.), for Shu.

| WARNINGS: mild cursing, angst to fluff, mentions of sex, Shu being both a dick and an absolute sweetheart

“There I was again tonight, forcing laughter

faking smiles; same and tired lonely place..”

Shu’s heart pounded, he knew you were releasing your very first song; and he also knew the possibility that it may be about him.

You and Shu had a complicated relationship. One day, you’ll be cuddling in bed together, kissing, making love, even. The next, Shu refuses to talk to you. Ignoring you.

The truth was - he was so, so fucking scared.

Scared about his feelings towards you. He had never experienced this before. He was also scared that in the long run, he would lose you. The one person who made him feel safe, secure, happy.

“Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and

vacancy vanished when I saw your face…”

Your voice rang through his headset, he was so, so infatuated.

He thought back to the night you first got intimate.

His hand running down your hips to your thighs, your hands tangled in his hair. Soft grunts and groans being shared now and then… God, he craved for that to happen again.

”All I can say is,

it was enchanting to meet you.

Your eyes whispered, ‘Have we met?’

'Cross the room your silhouette

Starts to make its way to me.”

The night you had very first met, was not when he debuted as a member of Luxiem, but was a year or so beforehand.

Shu does not like parties, he does not go to them. He got dragged to one by a friend. But, god, was he happy that he had gone.

When his eyes landed on your figure, he knew he had to talk to you. He knew there was something there.

He knew.

He knew.

He knew.

And god, was he right.

”The playful conversation starts

Counter all your quick remarks

Like passing notes in secrecy.”

The live chat to the premier of this song is going nuts. Superchats, members, akasupa’s even. The occasional NIJI member sending a message

Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧: OH MY GOD

Kyo Kaneko [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧: OKAY I SEE YOU

Even people from other companies were going feral into chat. He wanted to say something - he really, really did. But he knew the song was for him, he knew you were in pain; and he knew he was the cause. His hands remain on his letter-less keyboard, trying to think of a message to send but nothing coming to mind.

“And it was, enchanting to meet you…

All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you…”

Shu decided against joining the VC that was listening to your song live, afraid they’ll connect the dots.

Since when did he care what others thought?

Since when did Shu fucking Yamino even have romantic feelings for anyone?

He wants so badly to console you through the screen - tell you why he hasn’t been there for you… embrace you… give you his words of affirmation..

“This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up

2 AM, who do you love?

I wonder 'til I'm wide awake

And now I'm pacing back and forth

Wishing you were at my door

I'd open up and you would say, ‘Hey’”

Shu never wanted to admit this fact to anyone else, but he knew that you knew.

Shu had slight feelings for Petra.

I know, crazy right?

Petra did not return those feelings, she saw him as a brother and wanted to keep it that way. The feelings he had for Petra were nowhere near as big as the ones he had for you, of course.

Especially now, hearing the desperation in your voice.. The longing… The way his heart is pounding.

He knew.

He knew how much he loved you, and he knew he had to make things right.

”This is me praying that,

This was the very first page,

Not where the story line ends..

My thoughts will echo your name, until I see

you again.

These are the words I held back,

as I was leaving too soon..

I was enchanted to meet you.”

At this point, Shu was tearing up. God, he hated this. He hated this so much. He hated this stupid song, he hated his feelings, and most of all he hated you.

He hated you for making him feel this way.

He hated you for writing this beautiful song, he hated you for kissing him, he hated you for being so goddamn pretty.

He hated you.

Hated you so fucking much.

But fuck, he loves you.

He loves your smile, he loves the way your eyes crinkle when your laughing, he loves your voice, he loves the chokehold you have him in.

He knows.

He knows he loves you.

“Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you..”

As the song neared an end, Shu found himself sobbing into his hands, not daring to look up at the beautiful art displayed across his screen. He longed to hear your voice in a more appropriate manner, in a way that could reaffirm him.

He wanted you.

Scratch that, he needs you.

And he has to show you just how badly he does.

He tries to subside his crying, his vision blurry whilst he pulls up Discord on his center monitor.

He goes to your profile, staring at your beautiful, beautiful, profile picture.

It was a picture of you laying in his lap giving a peace sign, although no one besides him could tell whos lap you were in.

His fingers type away onto his keyboard, as soon as he sends his message, one from you comes in.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

[duskvsdawn]

weeping like a baby T_T i feel so honoured that my sweet baby loves me so much <3 I love you very, very much too! Muah! Keep being awesome!

this is not like most things i post, so i'll try my best to keep it short! i wanna be as happy and appreciative as possible towards others

this is a huge thank you to my mother figure, meli , they are one of the best people ive ever met! i dont know if id be the person i am if i hadnt met them. theyre always so kind to others and always put others before themselves, they are one of the kindest people i know and i want everyone to know that! meli deserves the world, they are the mom i wish i had growing up, and i hope they can learn to see themself that way and will be more kinder to themselves.

meli is one of the most talented writers i know as well, their works are always phenomenal. even if they have decided to step away from writing, they will always be one of the best to me!

i just wanted to share some meli appreciation, they really are the best. please show all of your support towards them!

[duskvsdawn]

Hii, I don't use tumblr often, but when I do I always make sure to check this blog 💕 I just saw your most recent post and I hope you're doing okay 🥺 Writing is meant to be fun!! If you're not having fun, it's okay to take a break and focus on other things. Be kind to yourself. We'll be supporting you if you decide to return 🫂 take care!

that's kind of you, and i appreciate it. but i wont return to writing anytime soon. i just can't. i'm sorry.