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Mesosex: A Revised Definition

Mesosex: a person who has an intersex variation, but one which does not conform to perisex (non-intersex) ideas of what intersex is. For example, people who have intersex traits that are considered "mild", or who have variations such as PCOS Hyperandrogenism and Poland Syndrome.

Meso- for middle/in between, to refer to the state of being in between what the intersex community accepts as intersex and what the broader public (mistakenly) thinks intersex is.

This is a revision to the initial definition for the term, which I originally coined a few months back. The revised definition comes from many conversations with both identifying-as-intersex people and identifying-as-mesosex people.

In particular I'd like to highlight this long (but very productive) thread from which the revised definition was first proposed by @queercripintersex

From that thread and private conversations some key takeaways have been:

There was too much ambiguity in the initial definition.

The people I've spoken to for whom mesosex has resonated all either have intersex variations, or very good reasons to question that they could be intersex.

And a lot of those people have faced harassment and invalidation by perisex people for experimenting and/or claiming the intersex label. They have expressed a desire for alternate language by which they can communicate their relationship to being intersex.

Not everybody with an intersex variation wants to use the term intersex, or to only use it contextually. Some feel they aren't "intersex enough", even people with variations like Klinefelter's or CAIS that are widely accepted as intersex.

For people who are new to thinking of themselves as intersex, it is valuable to have a microlabel available that can capture their impostor syndrome.

There is a real and legitimate concern that the initial definition of mesosex would lead people with intersex variations like PCOS to think of themselves as neither intersex nor perisex, even though the intersex community is unanimous that PCOS hyperandrogenism is intersex.

Although there is a clear hierarchy of which intersex variations are seen as more legitimately intersex by perisex people, if we validate this hierarchy then we undermine our collective need for pan-intersex solidarity.

I hope that redefining the term reduces rather than adds confusion! And that it's useful for people! Feedback is welcome. 💜

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

I've got a theory that empaths are as equally emotionally fucked as we are, just on different spectrums, and that's why they take every single small thing we do as "guilt tripping", because they've got zero clue on how to actually regulate guilt or empathy

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

scrolling the npd tag and scoffing at someone’s superiority complex while simultaneously thinking how i’m so much better than them. Girl

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

something i've realised is bpd is almost seen as a "victim disorder" and npd is seen as an "abusive disorder." the fucking ableism in that oh my lord. they're both cluster b personality disorders, and both have extremely high correlation with childhood trauma. they're BOTH ""victims."" people treating pwNPD like horrible people for just Existing and then turning around and treating pwBPD like Poor, Hurt Souls needs to fucking stop.

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

"narcissistic abuse is the WORST kind of abuse—"

wow! that's a lot to unpack. okay so first of all, maybe we shouldn't be unironically treating different forms of abuse like the oppression olympics?

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

Nplatonic

(NPD EXLUSIVE : "TRANSABLED" DNI)

A flag for those who are Nplatonic!

Nplatonic or narcplatonic is a term used to describe the aplatonic feelings caused by npd.

Aplatonic is a term used to describe people who do not experience platonic attraction. It is a lack of desire to form friendships with specific people, or difficulty forming friendships in general.

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

People need to draw their OCs like this honestly

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

I wish people could understand that feeling no remorse and empathy isn't a choice. It's not something I can turn off and on. It's not something that will change if you're close to me. It's just how I am. The way that I don't understand your pain or feel bad is not personal. Not being able to bring myself to care about a lot of things doesn't mean I think you don't deserve care. It's not me trying to attack you or make you feel bad. It's just how I am.

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

I wish people could understand that feeling no remorse and empathy isn't a choice. It's not something I can turn off and on. It's not something that will change if you're close to me. It's just how I am. The way that I don't understand your pain or feel bad is not personal. Not being able to bring myself to care about a lot of things doesn't mean I think you don't deserve care. It's not me trying to attack you or make you feel bad. It's just how I am.

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

NPD Culture is the only reason I'm not openly a hater is because it would allow for other people to hate on things I like to my face and I would cry if they did that.

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[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

barely surviving this week <3

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

i dont think im better than you i know im better than you 🙄🙄 (nearly sobbing and shaking like a wounded animal)

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

NPD culture is getting angry when people aren't as smart as you and simultaneously getting angry when they are

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

‘i’m not demonising NPD, i’m talking about narcissistic traits’

so… symptoms of NPD.

do these ableist freaks not realise that narcissism and NPD are not separate things?

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

egotypicals will get upset pwnpd often have superiority complexes, but will go around talking about us as if we’re subhuman monsters, implying they see us as below them and are superior? ok girl

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

i love narc supply

[dustybr3ads-tumbl3r]

I'm aware that I sometimes have delusions of grandeur, but ugh, people truly are inferior to me. I'm surrounded by vulgar people. How am I supposed not to believe I'm better?