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Briscoe Park

[dvnities]

seeing your favorite graphic novel end shittily is a hurt like no other 😭💀

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. * ✧ ❤ —  𝙆𝘼𝙏𝙀  ...  𝙑𝙄𝙃𝙄𝙇𝙐𝙈 ,

“No, I’m not lying to you, Kori,” Kate’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet, sleep deprivation catching up to her figure, slumped in the chair. When she leaned, it rolled, and she let herself slide away, mind frazzled, scrambled, tired of firing off on all cylinders with little to no rest.

The world wasn’t ending, but it might as well have been. Her world was ending.

“Maybe I should just let them pull the funding,” she scoffs, she was not being genuine, her crown sinking into her palms, “I would never,” the things she knew she didn’t have to reiterate around Kori, “We need to do something, but I can’t think of anything.” She was not the type to give up on the team that had been assembled in the wake of chaos.

“Even the head thinks we’re a liability,” in spite of the countless times the Young Avengers had been responsible for heroic acts, “They don’t take us seriously because we’re young, and I’m sick of it!”

she did not like this one bit.   there was no emotion worse than feeling hopeless.   kori’s chest tightens and she looks down,   head slightly tilted in thought.   there must be something that could be done.   if it made her friend feel so terrible,   she certainly needed to do anything she could to put a stop to all of this.

❛   no !   you must never let them pull this funding !   ❜   she practically shouts the words,   determination flooding her,    ❛   you are important.   ❜   the young avengers were the main reason so much of this city was still standing.   without them it would fall into ruin and chaos,   even with the efforts of the titans.

she reaches for kate’s hands,   gently tugging her to try and pull her to her feet,   ❛   we will go to this head together !   they must listen to both of us.   ❜   they were no liability,   just because they were not as old as the other heroes did not make any of them less capable.

❛   perhaps we are young,   but that does not make us weak !   if they will not take you seriously,   i will force them to.   and if that does not fix this   ...   then i will help you and your friends find funding.   we could do a stand of lemonade !   ❜

[dvnities]

. * ✧ ❤ —  𝙇𝙄𝙑  ...  𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙀𝙇 ,

all things beautiful and right died the day he did. the wound is too fresh to touch, and it it would always stay that way. time healed all wounds? bullshit. not this one. never this one. time infected this one            each day that past was another twist to the gut. more memories, more jokes, more days, more hours, more and more and more and more without him. they didn’t get it. who would? who else would hear noises from his room and swear he’d be there, dirty-ass jacket, cigarette between his lips. who else would hear the faint smiths melodies? who else had a whole apartment serving as a fucking museum, a taunting exhibit of someone who wasn’t coming back? 

she had learned to knock on his door and wait to be invited in. those invitations would never come anymore. too many words left unsaid, songs left unsung, secrets left unshared            it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fucking fair to hurt this fucking bad. it wasn’t fair that everyone thought she was crazy for wanting to go too. what was the point? what was the fucking point when she woke up everyday with a meteor sized ache in her chest, when the world was gray, when there were days she couldn’t even share with anymore? what was the point of going on when marcus didn’t get to?

“ there’s nothing soft and beautiful and bright anymore, lucy. not anymore. ”

this is fucking depressing as hell.   shut up, marcus.   she knows he can’t read her thoughts,   but just this once she wishes he could hear her.   if i had known i had to watch all of this i wouldn’t have been glad i died first.   oh wow — how sweet.   it just makes me feel like shit, you know? it’s not like i asked that car to hit me. i didn’t think anyone would be so upset. didn’t think anyone cared enough. not enough to want to fucking die over it. i mean, jesus christ, i’m not worth it. tell her i’m not worth it. she needs to fucking live.   it shouldn’t surprise lucy, that marcus has found a way to make liv’s suicidal tendencies all about him,   but it does.   he’s sitting on the couch next to her,   in that god awful blue jacket he always wore,   with the same exact scowl he always had when he was alive.   it almost felt like he was.   if it weren’t for the way liv was acting,   lucy thought she would have forgotten he was dead.

❛   okay,   first of all,   that is so not true.   second of all   —   ❜   marcus had never been soft or beautiful or bright,   but still her voice softens,   ❛   he wouldn’t want you to go after him.   i know you both had a deal,   if he jumped,   so did you.   but liv   ...   he didn’t jump.   it was a horrible accident.   you don’t need to be one too.   ❜   lucy knew this wasn’t about her,   but it didn’t stop the gnawing question in the back of her mind   :   would liv have ever cared this much if she had died instead ?   or would she be sitting here on the couch next to marcus,   smoking a blunt and laughing,   just grateful that it hadn’t been him.   she thinks she knows the answer,   she thinks that deep down they all do.   what about lucy hartmann would ever be worth missing ?

can’t you fucking ... let her see me or something ? so i can tell her she’s acting insane ?   that is so not what she needed to hear right now.   no one wanted to be called crazy during their grief.   ❛   i know how hard it is to keep going,   but you’ve got to fight to find something beautiful.   ❜

[dvnities]

Your Eyes Tell (きみの瞳（め）が問いかけている) 2020, dir. Miki Takahiro.

[dvnities]

. * ✧ ❤ —  𝙎𝘼𝙎𝙐𝙆𝙀  ...  𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙀𝙇 ,

tch. she was no different than the other girls just like her  ––––  painting a prince where there was none. using the nothingness, the disinterest he gave to fill in the blanks of what they wanted him to be. mysterious. brooding. unattainable. a savior. complex. good. he was none of those things. some days he found he was nothing but heat and rage, burning everything in sight. other days he was … nothing. not there. merely a face, a shadow, a gust of wind.  

“ … you don’t know anything about me. ” 

she frowns,   most did not react this way,   she could only think of one person who would.   maybe he was different,   maybe he was like raven.   she takes a small step towards him,   ❛   it is okay if you come from a world of darkness   ...   or if your father is a large demonic entity who wishes to destroy all life.   ❜   koriand’r nods solemnly with her words,   completely genuine despite the nature of what she is saying,   ❛   on my planet,   ❜   her hand raises,   resting over her heart at the mention of home,   ❛   we call those with evil families moorzop klingsum.   you do not have a word for this,   but it means ‘loved by the village’.   ❜

she supposed that now,   perhaps she was moorzop klingsum.   there’s a slight pang with the realization and she’s quick to divert her thoughts back to sasuke.   ❛   even those without a family are loved.   anyone may become a good person,   no matter their past.   you must try.   ❜

[dvnities]

. * ✧ ❤ —  𝙃𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙏𝘼  ...  𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙀𝙇 ,

though the ashes had long settled, she still choked on them. a cause of war,  a product of war,  a child of war             that gruesome three lettered word followed her always. when she closed her eyes, she could see the fallen. dreams could easily be identified as nightmares the second she found herself back on those battlegrounds. pain still radiated through her, wounds that had long healed leaving their everlasting mark.   (   do you think we fight hopeless wars?  )  there’s no clear answer. all she can think about is the dirt in her lungs, the agony in her bones, cousin neji            

eyes that are forever a haunted house for everyone she’s loved and lost squeeze shut. hands that could not do more to protect them curl into fists. did hopeless mean pointless? did neji, did everyone die for nothing? in the end, were they all just pawns in a hopeless war? no, it couldn’t be. because of them, things had changed. cycles were broken. sure it seemed hopeless, but not pointless.  (  is there a difference, hinata?   )   “ i think … we fight because the alternative is losing everything we have. ” eyes glance down at the cups in front of them, “i also think you need more tea. ”

her lip trembles,   what was this feeling   ...   deep in her chest ?   it was something she had not felt  since the citadel’s invasion on her home.   her people had never stood a chance,   they had not prepared for such darkness.   starfire had not known that such darkness had existed until her mother was killed and her sister   ...   she did not wish to think of her.   war was such a wretched thing.   she ached for the day all people would lay down their weapons and find in their hearts to work towards peace instead.   tears form in her eyes and before she can think to stop them,   they bubble over,   streaming down her cheeks in waves,   hands shaking in her lap.

❛   it is not fair !   ❜   suddenly, koriand’r reaches for hinata’s hand,   holding it gently in her palm,   ❛   you should not know this pain.   i can sense great sadness,   such loss,   you have done nothing to deserve it !   i shall make it better for you.   tsunade tells me that girls from your planet enjoy partaking in the drinking of substances.   please tell me where i can find these substances, hinata !   i will bring you some.   ❜

[dvnities]

. * ✧ ❤ —  @vihilum​ kate bishop said : ❛ everything is ending soon, but everyone is lying about it.  ❜

her hands clasp together,   kori’s eyes wide and glistening with a new fear.   she did not quite understand what kate bishop was saying,   she knew the definition of this   ‘everything’   that she spoke of,   but certainly it was not all coming to an end.   was earth in danger ?   if it was,   she would do all she could to protect it.   ❛   everyone is lying ?   ❜   her brows furrow in confusion,   ❛   does that mean even you are lying to me, kate ?   ❜   but kate had been so kind to her   ...   would she really lie about such things ?

koriand'r frowns,   her arms crossing across her chest,   ❛   is everything not ending ?   or must we do something as the only un-liars so that this everything does not end !?   ❜

[dvnities]

warding off the art block by drawing kori again

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Robstar by Artcraawl

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Justine Kurland  B.1969 - 

[dvnities]

. * ✧ ❤ —  𝙇𝙄𝙑  ...  𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙀𝙇 ,

urgency cuts through the haze of smoke like a knife. shit, was this another one of those dreams? one of a million imaginary phone calls where liv’s cup overflowed and she spilled all the things she meant to say when gen was still around? how could she blame gen for leaving? hearing secondhand the shit she went through, liv would’ve split too. 

the cut stung for awhile, a gaping hole where a friend used to be, but it was a reminder, the scar necessary   –––  people were allowed to sort out their shit too, even if you weren’t a part of it. anne had helped with that instead of letting her spiral into another round of self hatred. before she fell down another hole.

❛  hey  .  .  .   g?   ❜  voice softens, surprise lifting the end of a familiar nickname she hadn’t felt touch her tongue in over a year. stifling her joint in the ashtray, liv sits up, trying to string together the info gen was giving her.    london.    girl.    breakup.    flight.    now?   ❛   .  .  .   you? wait, wait, wait, what? you want me on a plane, like, now?   right now?  ❜

❛   maybe ?   i don’t know i just   —   ❜   she sucks in another long breath,   trying to take in enough air that she might steady her sobs to get a coherent thought out,   ❛   i need to come home but there’s so much here to figure out and i   ...   i don’t know how to go back.   ❜   she doesn’t know how to face the truth of her actions.   not quite yet.   but she couldn’t stay. 

she looks around the city and sees the bar where she’d met felicity,   the park felicity had berated at,   the corner she sobbed on after felicity told her in the midst of an argument that she didn’t understand how anyone could ever love her.   when gen asked her if it meant that she didn’t love her,   felicity hadn’t responded,   and gen did what she’d always done best   :   stormed out into the night without another word.   perhaps it would have been easier if it had ended then.

❛   i’ll pay for everything if you could make it out here but if you can’t i just   ...   i need a ride from the airport once i make it back to the states.   ❜   gen didn’t have a clue where she was going to stay,   if she would even tell anyone other than liv that she was back.   she thought about the glint of disappointment she always saw in her father’s eyes,   she remembered how her mother looked at her and viewed her daughter as nothing more than a wretched reflection of her worst flaws.   gen couldn’t face that.   not now. 

[dvnities]

. * ✧ ❤ —  𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙊𝘿𝙊𝙍𝙀  ...  𝙉𝙊𝙁𝘼𝘽𝙇𝙀 ,

theodore’s mouth was twisted into an ugly twitch,   his eyes narrowed a little as he stares at the outline of harry…     while the other was throwing himself down a path of self - discovery,    theo was losing himself in firewhiskey   [   it had been a rough few years for anyone who had been even slightly associated with death eaters:    self - pity had always been a familiar language on his tongue   ].     harry swans in like a saviour,  wearing his cloak of good will and his easy smile    theodore has not learned grace in his time away from hogwarts.     he drinks deeply from his glass,   wondering if the bitter taste of whiskey could somehow blot out harry’s voice.

‘      you didn’t exactly consort with our type,   harry.aren’t there some lions for you to scamper back to?     ’      grit of teeth,   flash of fangs,   the snake has never learned how to be anything else but what he was cursed to be:     pettiness was in his smile and in his blood.   his eyes scan harry’s face as if he’s searching for a trace of a joke,   of a tease,    of bad blood spilling out between them.    he is painfully sincere,     theo wants to claw his eyes out,    wants to fight him somehow to take back whatever harry’s kindness took from him,    but instead he summons a grimace - like smile.

‘      you’re offering to have a drink with me.      ’        a statement more than a question,   though his surprise is evident on his features.      ‘      what a little do - gooder you are.   fine,  but you’re buying.     ’

❛   your type wasn’t ever quite fond of me.   ❜   it’s intended to be a joke but there’s a whisper of bitterness that remains after all these years.   it had always seemed as though the whole lot of them had wished him dead simply for surviving an attack on his life as a child.   war divided people,   that much had been obvious,   the hatred between their houses exacerbated by voldemort.   but he was dead,   there was no more war,   and they were hardly children anymore.   ❛   let’s not allow our old houses to divide us still,   yeah ?   ❜   now was good as time as any to grow out of it.

❛   i am.   and believe it or not,   doing a little good won’t be the death of you.   ❜   harry points to the firewhiskey gripped in theodore’s palm,   ❛   another of the same ?   ❜   it would have been easy to still be angry after all these years.   he still remembered how it felt in his youth,   the way hogwarts molded around him to be both his home and a final resting place.   how something evil had lurked in the depths of the halls and still,   he’d lingered in the haunted spaces when it was finally time to leave.   harry wonders what it might have been had he never been marked as chosen,   if he wouldn’t have had to deal with the fear in that final year that someone who had once been his peer might turn him over to die.

but he wasn’t angry.   enough of his life had been spent fighting,   now he savoured peace   :   in all its forms.   even sharing a drink with an old enemy.   ❛   so   ...   ❜   he clears his throat awkwardly,   ❛   how have you been ?   after   ...   everything ?   ❜

[dvnities]

@tvarchive’s tv appreciation week | day 5: best tv fight scene(s) ↳ THE LAST AGNI KAI in AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER (2005 - 2008)  

It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements - and the other nations - will help you become whole.

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[dvnities]

. * ✧ ❤ —  𝙍𝙀𝙂𝙐𝙇𝙐𝙎  ...  𝙋𝙍𝙊𝘿𝙄𝙏𝙀𝙐𝙍 ,

      harry’s outburst settles a crease in regulus’ brow; he wrinkles his nose. “yes, i gave it to kreacher. i’d trust him with my life, and he’s plenty capable. or… i thought he was enough.” but it’s not the house-elf’s fault. it’s regulus’—for having overestimated his power, and having underestimated the power of a horcrux. 

      looking back, he knows he was a fool. he knows it was a mistake not to have seen its destruction through to the end. even now he doesn’t know if his plan was out of cleverness or fear—or perhaps both. regulus is as aware of his own power as he is his limitations, and he knows that the ranks of voldemort’s armies were far more experienced, far older than himself. they had almost every advantage over him. almost.

      “the burrow…” he mumbles, and offers a cursory look around the little… home. he knows who lives here just as he knows everything else there is to know about the names worth knowing. it’s difficult to hide the distaste in his lips as he admires the house that is so very unlike his own, but he’s not here to pass judgement. he can’t judge, anymore. “i’m sorry. you were never meant to be burdened with this task.” it belongs to regulus—and he alone. “are you him? the chosen one, meant to destroy him?” 

      when regulus wrote that letter all those years ago, he himself wasn’t sure he believed there was such a person. a large part of him believed that voldemort would win, and that nothing anyone—including himself—could do would stop him. but a small, very powerful part of himself wanted so badly to believe he was wrong. and he died with that hope.

      “if there’s any information on the horcruxes besides what i know, it’ll be in my family’s archives. you won’t find a better collection of information anywhere in the world.” a carefully-cultivated assemblage of ancient magic lost to time. “but what i know is that a horcrux can only be destroyed by magic stronger than itself. and i thought… i thought kreacher’s magic would be enough.” 

harry’s brows shoot up a shock,   ❛   are we discussing the same kreacher ?   ❜   he couldn’t imagine trusting him with anything,   let alone something as important as one’s life.   the house elf had spent the entirety of harry’s short time at grimmauld place berating him and far more importantly   ...   berating sirius.   he’d known that his godfather was the black sheep of the family,   but he hadn’t been expecting this.

❛   is positively wonderful and we’re lucky to be welcomed with open arms.   ❜   he seethes quietly,   filling in the silence created by regulus trailing off.   the weasleys’ had done more for him than he could possibly thank them for.   he’d never make up for the number of times they endangered themselves to protect him.   for now,   harry sets aside his anger at the smallest hint of judgement against them,   shifting uncomfortably at the apology.   there were plenty who would argue it was his destiny.   ❛   i’ve never fancied the idea that anyone is meant to be burdened with a task but   ...   i’m not alone in doing this.   ❜   that’s the only way they’d beat him.   together.

the chosen one.   he’d heard it enough times in his life that it didn’t affect him quite like it once had,   but hearing it from regulus feels   …   heavier.   he doesn’t think of himself as such,   but a solemn,   ❛   yes, yes i am.   ❜   falls from his lips regardless.   he couldn’t hide from the prophecy any longer.   dumbledore had told him that it wasn’t set in stone,   it was only as real as they made it.   but voldemort had been treating it as if it were real ever since he murdered harry’s parents.   it was about time he did too,   no more running from it.

there’s a long pause,   ❛   i’m sorry,   you   ...   you believed a house elf’s magic would be stronger than a piece of voldemort’s soul ?   ❜   harry can practically hear hermione’s frustrated voice in the back of his head,   chastising him for making house elves out to be weak.   but it wasn’t as if he thought they were weak,   he just didn’t believe a single one of them to be stronger than voldemort.   ❛   how likely is it that those archives aren’t overrun or destroyed by death eaters ?   ❜

[dvnities]

. * ✧ ❤ —  𝙎𝘼𝙎𝙐𝙆𝙀  ...  𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙀𝙇 ,

six months. everything else fades. sound waves pick up and throw those two words on the walls of your skull. six. months.  you selfishly wonder if this is apart of your atonement. foolish, weak little sasuke, getting attached to yet another soul that was destined to be severed. when will you learn, you can only rely on yourself? no otherworldly being or possession can provide everlasting comfort, safety and care which is what you so desperately crave. stupid little sasuke. when will you learn?

hate how people look at me when they learn i’m dyin’.   like i’m some   …   i don’t know   …   wounded animal or some shit. he elects not to look at her at all. eyes cast downward, peering down at the bottom of the glass as if it holds a cure. all it contains is a liquid to numb the pain of yet another life lost and the face of a soul tired, oh so tired. ❛  i see.  ❜ but he doesn’t see. doesn’t see how this keeps happening again and again despite his best efforts to curb it. it’s not his fault, yet it burns all the same. 

what else is there to say? don’t go? please? your prayers have never been answered before, let alone heard. don’t get your hopes up. all the things you’ve strived to perfect, yet you can’t perfect the act of saying goodbye? you’ve done it so many times before, haven’t you? it should be a third language by now.

throat dries up. what can be said? the things he said before never stopped the inevitable. finally he stands, tosses some money on the counter and announces: ❛  i’m going home.  ❜

she hasn’t been nervous like this in a long time.   her stomach in so many knots she thought she might throw up everything she’d eaten today all over the table between them.   his reaction does fuck all to help.   she finds herself looking down too,   staring at her hands and she wrings her fingers.   it makes her feel small,   smaller than when she’d learned she had a lot less time than she was promised.   it felt like absolute shit.   but he was avoiding her eyes,   like she was weak.   useless.   like she’d drop dead any second.

v half wanted to reach across the table and deck him in the head to remind him that she wasn’t some lost cause.   the other half of her tried to remind herself what it was like to hear.   if he’d told her he only had six months to live,   she’d be yellin’ at him so loud she’d probably get them both thrown out.   so she gives him some grace,   throws back her second drink before she speaks.   ❛   ....   and you’re makin’ the face.   ❜

she stands up,   hand resting on his shoulder,   not firmly enough to really keep him there but a gentle reminder she wanted him to stay.   ❛   hey, woah,   i get if you’re pissed and shit but i owe you another round still.   i know death is a massive downer but shit,   that’s six months out and i’ve got some pills that make it easy to forget i’m sick at all.   ❜   a bold fucking lie.   ❛   so just   ...   chill, yeah ?   the night is young.   don’t   ...   ❜   don’t leave me. not now.   ❛   don’t walk out on shit just yet.   ❜

[dvnities]

. * ✧ ❤ —  𝙎𝘼𝙎𝙐𝙆𝙀  ...  𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙀𝙇 ,

they hadn’t left v’s place in a week. while sasuke was free to go at any time, there always seemed to be something tethering him to this place ––––  dishes that needed to get done, someone had to make sure v was eating and … still able to do so. ever since she blacked out on the way back from dirty dave’s sasuke had   been to afraid to leave her alone  felt some sort of obligation to ensure that she wasn’t spasming in her own waste. 

today had been one of the better days. v had eaten her soup without being an unbearable baby, just an annoying one. she cracked a few jokes. even got sasuke to play a game with her out of  fear that he would regret saying no to her when she was gone  pity. 

❛  …  i’ll  … take you.  ❜ it doesn’t sound like a good idea when he says it, but who is he to deny her a beach trip? who knew how many were left? ❛  you know how to surf?  ❜

❛   you are looking at a three time night city champion.   ❜   she grins,   there wasn’t a lot in her life that she felt she could be proud of but surfing ?   yeah, she was pretty alright at that.   ❛   only lost the title cause i stopped competing.   work started comin’ in like crazy for me and the prize money was always shit in comparison so i couldn’t afford to pass on the jobs.   but i still like to get out there when i can.   ❜   while she still could.   if there was anything that all this bullshit had taught her,   it was that it was about time she started living for what made her happy,   not to chase a check.

she crosses the room,   throwing open her closet and dragging out the board,   ❛   sick, right ?   ❜   it’d been too long since she’d had the time to go.   ever since the whole johnny mess it was like she was one near-death experience to the next.   no time for leisurely activities.   ❛   you ever been ?   ❜   she sets the board down,   shoving open the closet a little bit further and ignoring the creak that threatened it would give out.   ❛   i’ve got a spare you can use.   the dude at the beach is charges way too much to rent from.   it’s a fuckin’ rip off.   ❜