dxnamgyu

[dxnamgyu]

namgyu isn’t fond of being touched, in any way. the lapse in his memories doesn’t provide him with reason why, it’s simply a fact that he has lived with for the longest time. a brush of skin would so much as make him recoil, a sensation that’d ignite the urge to scratch at his own skin until the itch is gone. it’s not a weakness, per se, someone touching him isn’t a kryptonite that renders him useless in battle. it’s just grating, the thought of letting someone so close—too close—that there’s contact beyond the minute necessity of momentarily sharing a space.

what makes jihu so different then? upon first glance, he shouldn’t be anything special. in fact, they stand on opposite ends of the line. the prodigy son of a celebrated hero set for a lavish lifestyle, and a wanted criminal constantly running from authorities with no dime to his name. if this were a comic book, they’d be designated the role of protagonist and antagonist. but as they sit side-by-side on the rooftop of an abandoned building, they find themselves tangled in one another, whether in body or soul.

jihu should have been just like everyone else, blending into the background; an ant under his shoe posing as a righteous savior who sees no wrong in the systematic immorality of the heroic community he is a part of. namgyu doesn’t care for morals—but he hates being preached to. instead of doing that though, jihu willingly steps into the cesspool of namgyu’s created chaos, both their hands tainted with blood; invisible to the naked eye.

is that why? namgyu allows jihu to hold onto his waist with a specific intensity that might leave a mark on his skin. namgyu doesn’t make any motion to pull away when jihu’s hands explode the surface of his body, underneath his shirt. on the contrary, namgyu inches closer with a teasing smile, an amused laugh falling out of his lips. “you’re frustrating,” he replies rather belatedly, with no hint of the usual malice that usually accompanies his manner of speech.

a spark would set off in his brain, and it feels oddly familiar, but no matter how many hours he ruminates on his lost memories he’d always come up empty handed ( not for a lack of trying ). he settles for this, the feeling of jihu’s lips against his, the crackles resounding in his head. it’s not supposed to feel good, but it does, his lips parting easily as jihu’s tongue slides in between—coupled with jihu’s roaming hands unrelenting, a noise stumbles out of him. light, soft. different. a craving.

he’s equally in need of catching his breath as jihu is—or maybe it’s how jihu looks, as their gaze meet. hungry, heated. with a hint of desperation that doesn’t seem to be the norm for someone like jihu. it fills him with a strange sort of greed—to see how much he many buttons can he push before jihu snaps. it’s fun, exciting, unpredictable.

“you want me?” he turns, properly, slowly climbing onto jihu’s lap. taking his time, allowing jihu to wait. this feels normal too—sitting on jihu’s lap, making himself comfortable. “i’m already here though,” he says, feigning confusion.

his fingers coil around jihu’s wrist, following the trail upwards as another laugh comes out of him. higher, higher, higher. exposing more of namgyu’s skin.

“how do you want me?” he whispers into jihu’s ear once more, the hem of his shirt hangs loosely over their joined hands as namgyu entwines their fingers, the last remaining protective barrier. “like this?” his other hand rests against jihu’s cheek, swiping his thumb along the outline of jihu’s scar.

namgyu feels good – he feels amazing, really. in a way that jihu can't quite describe. namgyu is to jihu what he thinks a craving is, but it's a craving he can't quite tire of. their first meeting had been nothing close to normal, their second even more so, and now here they were, jihu's hands underneath the boy's shirt as he nestled his face close between the crook of namgyu's neck.

there's something so undeniably familiar about namgyu that he can't quite put his finger on. his chest swells in a way that isn't entirely unwelcome, and he enjoys the heat they both share with one another like this. so close, and yet, not close enough.

he listens as namgyu speaks, humming as his lips play across the other boy's skin. it's funny, jihu knows very little about namgyu and yet he feels the closest to him. "is it frustrating?" he asks, lifting his eyes slightly to meet namgyu's. so pretty. jihu doesn't think much about beauty ( doesn't think that there's anything beautiful in this world to start with ), but if he had to choose something that felt close to what he thought beauty might be like... he thinks he'd choose namgyu.

namgyu and his eyes, namgyu and his face, namgyu and his hands as they run through his hair.

he allows namgyu to press their bodies closer, the grip he has on his friend's waist tightening as his fingers run circle against his bare skin from underneath his shirt. jihu is no stranger to how namgyu's body looks like, has probably memorized it in the back of his head. has had dreams about it, to the point that he thinks it may border obsession. not that he hates that.

"i needed a break," he sighs, and he relishes in this feeling. namgyu is so warm, and jihu – despite never really allowing himself to get so close to someone else – wants more of it. more of namgyu, more of his warmth. "you're a good distraction," he laughs softly.

namgyu kisses the side of his head, and jihu smiles. he pulls away, only slightly, to angle himself better. he parts his lips, and allows them to meet namgyu's. this he isn't unfamiliar with. the feeling of namgyu wrapped around his arms, as his tongue would slide it's way between his lips, his hands – rough from having spent hours in the academy – gliding around the boy's torso, until they reach his chest. more, more, jihu wants more.

he finally pulls away, panting slightly. "what do you think?" he asks, but there's a smile playing on his lips, an intent in his eye that he can't quite hide. "i want you."

[dxnamgyu]

a switch in namgyu's brain was flipped, the moment he met jihu. in any other context in might sound romantic, fated even—but it's nothing of that sort ( namgyu doesn't think that's something he'd experience in the first place ). it's a strange sensation, blacking out and waking up to no memory of what had transpired during his episode. sure, it had apparently happened before. still, it never occurred in front of anyone in particular. somehow, jihu was able to trigger that state of his. honestly, he hates it, he doesn't like not knowing things. he can't even recall what he said to the other boy, unable to recount anything from that mysterious event. but according to jihu, he said a lot. too much.

that should be reason for namgyu to stay away from the other boy. their first meeting ( and all that transpired after their encounter, next to a dead body ), should have raised a lot of red flags for namgyu to avoid. but it's fun—never knowing what to expect, on the edge of his seat. regardless, everything related to jihu had been unconventional. which shouldn't be setting off any alarms, considering namgyu's profession and literal day-to-day. but it's different, somehow.

reuniting in this abandoned building had been nothing short of a coincidence. namgyu hadn't even asked for jihu's name, never thought of the possibility that they would run into each other again. but they did, as namgyu was hiding away from authorities intent on bringing him in. jihu had been within the premises, against all odds, lending out a helping hand despite being the son of a hero. the contrast of the situation is hilarious, namgyu can't help but stick around a little longer, spending time with the other boy on the rooftop.

and then, things happened ( a lot, despite the fact they only met recently ). and here they are again, on that same rooftop, with jihu studying something namgyu can't comprehend ( never having any formal education ). so he opts to look over the edge of the rooftop, squinting through the walls of the other buildings to gleam any sort of information he can. controlling his second ability is somehow more vexing than his primary ability, but it's not something he's going to talk about—he should never let his guard down, never appear vulnerable.

somehow though, jihu is able to easily wrap his arms around namgyu's waist, a direct contrast to the walls he told himself he has built. it's strange, how quickly they clicked and how fast their... relationship ( for a lack of a better term ) has progressed. it doesn't take long before he can feel jihu's fingers on his bare skin, slipping underneath his shirt, rubbing slowly. it's even stranger—namgyu isn't receptive to most people's touch, but he doesn't find himself needing to pull away when it comes to jihu.

"i'm trying to control my eyes," namgyu replies, leaning back against jihu with a hum. "i can't... turn off this ability, so i got contact lenses. remember?" he doesn't usually talk about the shortcomings of his abilities either, but for some reason, it comes out of him because it's jihu that's asking. "it's hard to use them though. they're custom-made, but they don't exactly come with a detailed manual. it's annoying," he huffs a little.

as he's talking, he feels jihu's lips against his skin. he hums, followed by a short and breathy laugh. "what are you doing? i thought you were studying," he comments, running his fingers through jihu's hair. "now you're just distracting me. or were you the one who needed a distraction?"

from this distance, namgyu can spot a few of the moles on jihu's face and the outline of jihu's rather bushy eyebrows. every detail of jihu's face seem familiar—but namgyu doesn't know why. of course he doesn't, his memories have all left him; he doesn't remember anything about his past. so... what? was jihu a part of it then? but jihu doesn't seem to remember namgyu either.

namgyu makes another executive decision to leave all those thoughts in the back of his head, instead inching closer to jihu until their bodies are pressed flush against one another. an arm loops around jihu's neck, planting a kiss to the side of jihu's head. "you're so touchy," namgyu remarks, although he's making no attempt to pull away either. "what do you really want to do now?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper, lips grazing jihu's ear with purpose.

under the moonlight // @dxnamgyu

it isn't the most ideal place to study. really, it isn't. if you listen hard enough, you'll hear screaming from the far distance, and the way the shadows fall, illuminated by the moonlight, might seem a little far too distracting to some. it isn't a conducive place, but for some odd reason, it works for jihu.

his house is huge, it's lavish and comfortable with a study table that others in district x could only dream of – but that's just it. there's nothing about it that makes jihu want to study, nothing about it that makes him want to know more.

here though, as he's leaning against the wall of the abandoned building, eyes flickering from his notebook to the landscape outside, something itches at the back of his mind. something that tells him that there's a lot more out there that he should be studying up on. that this world isn't quite as black and white as his textbooks make them out to be.

he rubs between his eyebrows, and closes his notebook momentarily. there's that scream again, so frightening. and yet, so oddly familiar – in a way that jihu can't quite describe. he feels as though he's heard it from childhood ( he knows he hasn't. his memories are hazy, static even. a result of a fall he'd suffered years ago according to his dad ). but he waits, and he listens, wants to hear more of it.

the scream subsides and jihu thinks he's studied enough for now. he turns to look at the boy beside him. namgyu. it's odd, how close they'd gotten recently – but jihu doesn't think too much about it. it's always nice to have someone he feels as though he can be unabashedly himself around; even if they'd only just met a while back.

"what are you doing?" he asks, and he snakes his hand around namgyu's waist, an attempt to pull him closer. he likes this, this warmth. his hands find themselves underneath the boy's shirt, fingers drumming against bare skin. he genuinely is curious as to what namgyu is doing though. and so he hooks a chin over his friend's shoulder, lips dangerously close to namgyu's jaw.

ah well, since my lips are already here.

he begins to nibble at the sides of namgyu's jaw, trailing kisses as his hands work their way to rub at namgyu's torso. "something interesting?" he asks, nuzzling his nose against namgyu's neck. so good, he thinks, namgyu smells so good. "i want to know too."

[dxnamgyu]

“heal your inner child” this, “let your inner child find peace” that… maybe my inner child is very angry and just wants to punch someone in the dick

[dxnamgyu]

[231022] chasing that feeling ✸ beomgyu fancam