dxyorps-blog

[dxyorps-blog]

namunose‌:

his other hand fumbles at some grass, pulling it as a habit, only to then throw it aimlessly at his barking dog who has set another stick at his feet. “she wants my attention,” yangyang says looking to renjun with a smile. “what should i do?” he gives renjun a kiss on the mouth and stands up to pick up the stick which sends her prancing backwards. “she really is almost as needy as you.” 

Renjun gives Yangyang a bit of a shove back, and watches the cycle of joy that Zelda is caught in, fascinated and amused by how endless her happiness was when she was getting something she wanted; over and over again, and she’d never truly tire of it, only resting when her legs were too worn to run the laps across the grass and back. 

He thinks he could find himself in a cycle like that, too, if only he and Yangyang could be as she was—without obligations—how nice it would be to seek out a never-ending chain of kisses the way she perpetuated this infinite game of fetch. 

“Yeah...” he mumbles, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment, enjoying his boyfriend’s touch, the tickle of his nose against his temple, and the warmth of his breath, and he breaks into a smile at the compliment, opening his eyes to take Yangyang in for a moment—he radiated this very peculiar sort of sweetness, one that seemed so real, and yet more than a little uncertain—if Renjun thought too much about it a dully aching sort of love would settle into his chest. 

He kisses Yangyang back, but only very slightly; he’s an urge to chase his lips as he pulls away, and he only just manages to contain himself. He’s aware that they are in public, and even if it seems that nobody is around, he supposes it’s better not to risk too much—certainly not the safety his boyfriend seems to feel. But it’s hard to resist, and his heart throbs forcefully in his chest. There’s something buried deep in him that is only barely recognisable as a desire for someone to see, a desire for them to be witnessed to some degree by the world.

Renjun snorts. 

“Needy? Me?” he says with a grin, already dissatisfied by the amount of space between them, “How dare you.” 

ode to sleep.

[dxyorps-blog]

namunose‌:

“she’ll sleep good tonight,” yangyang says sitting down on the blanket he’d brought with them to the park, which was pretty abandoned now. he pulls renjun close to him and gives him a kiss on his forehead. “after this we can get something to eat.” he looks down at his boyfriend and smiles while admiring the way he fits into yangyang’s side. “i just thought it would be nice… to spend some time outside. just us.” 

Renjun watches Zelda zip across the grass, almost a brown and black blur, and he half-coos, half-giggles; she was only barely a puppy now, he wonders to himself, watching her sniff inquisitively at a nondescript patch of grass, and it was sort of surreal. He still remembers the first time he met her, very much a puppy, huddled against Yangyang’s sweatshirt.

“God I hope so...” he says to himself with a smirk, thinking about the ever-expanding intrusion of the creature between them in the bed, and how nice it’d be if she could at least sleep through the night. 

Renjun leans into his boyfriend, thinking that there must be a mark of his lips on his forehead, where the ghost of his kiss still lingered, warm. And he nods enthusiastically at the mention of food, his stomach feeling a little hollow, although not yet uncomfortable or painful.

“Yeah, I kind of forgot what you look like in natural light.” Renjun teases, finding Yangyang’s hand so he can take hold of his fingers, and he’d smile, “Not that I can talk...”

ode to sleep.

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

yangyang laughs, holding renjun tighter as he becomes restless in his arms. “i don’t tease,” he tells him with a smug grin. he wants renjun as close as possible as though he were about to lose him again. the thought makes his chest tighten with a horrible anxiety; he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, nuzzling further into renjun’s neck.  

his eyes look into his boyfriends as he turns to look at him, giving him a soft smile as he hums. yangyang listens to his boyfriend’s explanation, thinking about himself when they met. yangyang didn’t really think he were cool, but perhaps he was too busy worrying about other things. he’d always been a pretty anxious kid so perhaps what renjun saw was a kind of mirage, a fake sense of confidence. 

“i was never cool,” he says. “speaking korean with the weirdest accent? not really being able to communicate in any of my four languages. i’m glad i went to an international high school because public school would have eaten me alive.” he laughs a little and reaches out to touch renjun, with a small smile. “i thought you were really cute… nicer to me than anyone had been before.” 

"You don’t tease...” Renjun repeats with a smirk, watching the upward bend of Yangyang’s lip-corners, leaning in to press a kiss to one of them as he considers how Yangyang had, and to an extent has, the weirdest accent in all of the multitude of languages he could speak, suddenly overwhelmed by the realisation that the other boy was rather precious. He thinks again, to when he first met Yangyang, his legs stick skinny and his head a little too big for his body, his hands dug deep into the front pocket of his hoodie, and he giggles. 

“I still just...I always thought you were...” he admits with a shrug, and he can’t help but to blush red at Yangyang’s words, although he’s a little concerned if they’re entirely true, “Nicer than anyone before?” he asks, his voice wistful, recalling how sweet Yangyang had been in entertaining Renjun’s weird interests, cringing internally as he remembered how excited he’d been to share of them—now they were kept so close to his chest that they had to be pried from his fingers by everyone who wasn’t in a very limited circle, “I was so...gross.” he says with a snort, “It was like...right at the peak of my awkward phase.” 

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

“maybe that was part of the charm,” yangyang says with a smile, giggling a little as he looks into renjun’s eyes. he sighs, letting the smile fade into a more languid one that carries his words more lovingly. “i… we were both kind of dorks. isn’t that what high school’s like for everyone? i just… saw you.” yangyang shrugs. “what did you think of me?”

Renjun shivers, his boyfriend’s mouth against his neck igniting a strange twist of his stomach, and a small giggle. He wriggles a bit in his arms, in protest, as a whine slips from his lips. 

“You...fucking tease...” he accuses, although the harshness of his words are cut immediately by a soft laugh, and he wriggles backwards against Yangyang, although he can hardly get any closer; only their clothes and a few atoms separate them as it is.

He turns his head a little, to look Yangyang in the face, and he’s struck, as always, by how attractive the other boy is—the elegant form of his nose, and cheekbones, the shape of his lips, the way his bangs whisper over his eyes, which sometimes glimmer with something dark, the strong line of his chin and jaw—pretty and handsome and not like anyone Renjun could have ever pictured himself with. 

“I thought you were cool...” Renjun admits with a snort, thinking of himself all those years ago, snaggletoothed and pubescently awkward, and how immediately smitten he’d been by Yangyang, with his vaguely Western energy and laidback attitude, seeming somehow so different from him, “I mean it didn’t take long for that illusion to wear off, but...” 

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

mayarirps‌:

starbucks is a very bad idea, but somi wasn’t going to tell eric that. everything there probably has sugar unless you tell them not to put it on the drink or to replace it with something equally sugar-high inducing. “oh, is this like a date now? are you going to buy me a drink, oppa?” she teases, smiling as she looks over the overhead menu. “oh~ americano, are you trying to be the cool-type?” somi continues, snickering, grabbing one of the smaller menu boards. “you don’t look like the americano-type, get one of those sweet or fruity ones~” the young girl looks over to him, smiling back, “cute boys usually like those… i think.”

Eric’s cheeks go a bright pink, and for a second he’s thrown from his game; is Somi reciprocating? 

He smiles, bashfully, a little surprised by the prospect.

“Uh...yeah, I’ll buy your drink, duh.” he says with a smile, following her with a renewed bounce in his step.

He reads the menu over her shoulder, a smile curling at the corners of his lips, because he finds her cute, and kind of wonders if she’d object to this being a date. Not that he really wants that; he supposes he just enjoys the thought of having someone’s attention that way. He doesn’t think that he has much going for him in that department, not that was unrequited, at least. 

“You caught me.” he admits with a giggle, and a shrug, “Did it work at all? Do I seem cool?” 

He offers her a smile, doing his best to be charming, before he very cautiously loops an arm around her shoulder as he steps beside her, ready to rescind it immediately if she seemed even remotely uncomfortable with the gesture. 

Tour Guide

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

“i agree,” he whispers, pulling renjun close for him to kiss his cheek, laughing a little as he nuzzles into renjun’s neck. “you’re being kinda cheesy, huh? have you always been like that?” yangyang goes silent in thought of what it would be like if he and renjun could just run away somewhere, a place where no one would find them, and they could be safe and happy together. it then makes him angry, wishing for a moment that they didn’t have to run away to feel like that. he wishes they could just be together, no fears or insecurities. “i really love you, huang renjun,” he says feeling as though he has to. “i have since i first met you… and i think i always will.”

Renjun cackles, feigning a roll of his eyes for a moment before Yangyang nuzzles against his neck, affection which sparks tingles of excitement that shoot down his spine—he can hardly deny that he’s being corny, because of course he is—the problem is that that’s just how most of his feelings for the other boy tend to shake out; Yangyang’s a source of undeniable optimism in his life, and he awakens a disgusting, slimy romantic somewhere deep in Renjun. 

“You ruined me.” he confesses, a small giggle escaping his lips. 

It’s true, though, and Yangyang proves how by reducing him to a puddle of ooze with his confession of love at first sight. 

He remembers when he first met Yangyang; hair characteristically untrimmed, cascading over his brow from the lip of his hoodie, cheeks still plump with baby fat. It’s funny to think now, of how quickly they’d pulled together, making fast friends, and then more than friends, all before they’d even recognised what was happening. Renjun recalls the twist in his gut at the sight of the other boy across from him at the table in his family home—to Renjun, Yangyang had seemed so much cooler than he, and he’d been surprised to find that he was actually a sweetheart. 

“I love you more...” he says, wistfully, before giggling,“You...you didn’t think I was a dork?” he asks with a smirk, questioning Yangyang’s taste in boys, “Be honest!” 

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

finally he nods at renjun’s words, moving to get up and take off his jeans, swapping them out for sweatpants. he opts for no shirt, looking at renjun and remembering the smaller boy’s tendency to cling to him and make him warm, sometimes too warm, though it was never uncomfortable. he lays back down, turning on the tv, loading netflix and handing the remote to renjun. yangyang puts his arm around his boyfriend, pulling him closer to lay on his chest. he leans down to kiss to top of his head, fingers tracing his boyfriend’s small figure. 

“did you find a place for our little animal friends?” yangyang asks after a moment of silence.

“No pressure!” Renjun says, trying to sound reassuring, even though it feels uniquely awkward to be expressing these things to Yangyang—his boyfriend had never been super forthcoming with his feelings—Renjun just thought it was important that he at least knew he had the option, “I’m...here. That’s all.” 

Renjun returns every one of Yangyang’s kisses in kind, happy to be home with him.

He watches as Yangyang undresses, then, throwing on some sweatpants, making no effort to hide the fact that he was ogling him and his skinny little legs, and decides to peel off his own pants, as well, to get comfortable; he wasn’t about to cuddle Yangyang in his jeans. 

“C’mere...” he whines,just as Yangyang is laying back down, and he crawls over to him, absentmindedly walking his fingers over the skin of the other boy’s belly, his hand eventually finding a resting place perched on his hip as he leans against his bare chest, which he first christens with a kiss to the sternum. 

He blushes at the mention of the plushies they’d bought, because he’d already considered where in his room they could be prominently displayed. 

“Not yet...” he says, looking up at Yangyang’s chin, amused for a second by the sight of him from this angle, “I just know they have to be together.” and although he snorts, reaching up to tap on Yangyang’s chin for no reason other than to do it, there’s also a bit of pink in his cheeks, because he’s really just about that lame. 

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

“do you wanna… watch a movie or something?” he asks rubbing his eyes and beckoning renjun to come closer. “i don’t know… you choose what we do since i fucked up our date.” yangyang takes his phone out of his pocket, looking at the lock screen for a split second before it turns his stomach. he shuts his phone off, deciding to save the inner turmoil for later. right now, he just wants to be with renjun. 

Renjun strokes the form of Yangyang’s cheekbone with the pad of his thumb, his heart aching, just a little, for his boyfriend, who seemed so fragile in this moment. He makes a silent vow to himself to be especially gentle with him tonight. 

“Of course.” he says with a nod, “Let’s go like...relax.”

He peels off his jacket, only barely getting the chance to hang it on a hook before Yangyang’s arms are back around him, and he’s smooching him on his forehead. 

“W-wait.” Renjun says, resisting Yangyang’s pull for just long enough that he could lean in and press a kiss to his lips, before following along like a good boy to the privacy of his boyfriend’s room, flinging his shoes off haphazardly, and discarding of his cardigan by draping it over the back of a chair. 

He climbs over Yangyang, now laid backwards over his bed, with a cheeky giggle, leaning in to leave a peck where his jaw meets his neck meets the bottom of his ear, but then his face grows serious. 

“I’m fine.” he insists, softly, “I’m more worried about you. You...you said you’re okay, right?”

He considers for a second, what movie he might want to watch, ‘but it’s hard to focus on such a thing considering the night’s events. 

“You know you can talk to me.” he says, half a question, half a statement, and it’s not more than a few second after he’s said it that he worries it’s a bit much, and sighs, sliding off of Yangyang to lay right beside him instead, “Choose what we do? Sure you wanna leave it all up to me?” he says, with a mischievous grin, giving his eyebrows a little wriggle, and he giggles nervously, “We can watch a movie, I guess. I just...I just wanna cuddle.” 

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

“i’m sorry,” he says finally as the car pulls up to the side of the street. he takes renjun’s hand again and leads him to the front of the complex. “i didn’t mean to ruin our date.” ruin everything is probably more like it, he thinks. his hands shake as he fumbles for his house key, unlocking the door and closing it only to lock again. he can finally shed off his entire coat of anxiety. he walks up close to renjun and hugs him tightly. “i love you,” he whispers. “i… i’m sorry, i feel bad.”

Yangyang leaves him hanging, wordless, and for a moment Renjun is a little scared, and confused, until he recognises the anxiety in his boyfriend’s eyes, which flick about the crowd that encases them, and he thinks he understands how he feels—like there was too much noise. He lets go of his fear that it was him who’d done something, and is instead more fixated on getting Yangyang back to the quiet of his apartment. 

They make their way through the throng of people, Renjun’s fingers interlaced tight with Yangyang’s, and it begins to thin out, and then his boyfriend is able to speak again. 

Renjun just smiles, and nods, not wanting to overwhelm him with questions, or anything more than a small alright. They’re looking for a taxi when Yangyang asks if he’s okay. 

“Am...I...” Renjun has to scoff, in surprise, “I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

He’s worried—he doesn’t know if he’s ever seen Yangyang like this, and he’s already dreading the likely reality that he wouldn’t want to talk about what was going on; all he can really do is give Yangyang’s hand periodic squeezes, gentle reminders that he was still there. 

“You didn’t ruin anything, Yangyang, it happens.” he whispers, in the backseat of their taxi as Yangyang’s building comes into view, wishing that they were already inside, so he could pull the boy into a hug and litter him with kisses—he’s lucky in that he doesn’t have to wait very long, although Yangyang does struggle a bit to find his keys, it is quick that they’re back behind the door of his apartment, and Renjun’s boyfriend is wrapping him in a hug, which Renjun returns, squeezing Yangyang nearly as hard as he can manage, adding the touch of a little peck to the tip of his nose. 

“Don’t be sorry, babe.” he says, punctuating the demand with a pair of soft kisses, one to each corner of Yangyang’s lips, “I love you, too.” he adds, lifting a hand to cup his cheek, “Do you feel...better now?” 

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

“renjun…” he lets out. “i feel kinda sick… m-maybe it was the chicken…” he lies because he doesn’t know how to tell him the truth. “can we go home?”

Renjun hugs the fox and sheep together against his chest, too cold to peel open his bag and stick them in there, and he follows along beside his boyfriend, watching him quietly, making note of the fact that he’s appeared to loosen up; the smile on his face is warmer, and more real, and Renjun feels now like he can breath again. 

They’re perusing jewelry at a stand, cheap little beaded and braided bracelets, and Renjun’s got a grin on his face, very near to suggesting that they get a matching pair when he hears a clatter from behind him. 

He whips his head about, a little startled, to see Yangyang narrowly avoiding knocking over a little display stand, and he half-laughs, about to chide him for being so clumsy before he recognises the look of panic in Yangyang’s eyes. 

“Y-yeah.” he says, suddenly very worried for his boyfriend; he knows Yangyang well enough to know that he’s not being entirely honest, but he’s not interested in prodding him for the truth, because obviously something is wrong—he’s been acting strangely all night long. “Let’s go home.” 

He transfers the plushes to a single arm, and pats Yangyang on the back. 

“You feel like...nauseated?”   

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

“you don’t have to eat it all,” yangyang notes with a small laugh, watching renjun. yangyang sighs and reaches out, touching the nape of renjun’s neck and then tugs a little on his ear, gazing at all of renjun’s features with a small smile. he looks over renjun’s shoulder and notices a booth full of plushies. “look,” yangyang says picking up a small red fox with cute ears and a mischievous smile. “it looks like you.” yangyang laughs a little holding the plushie up to renjun to compare. “you’re cuter though,” he notes with a big smile. “which one is me? maybe that poop emoji one over there…”

Yangyang’s hand feels like it’s in its rightful place, perched on Renjun’s waist, and yet he waits, tightly held breath, for it to be rescinded—he’s not really sure why Yangyang seems so...fidgety, and he’s trying not to take it personally. He eventually relaxes a bit, his shoulders going slack, and he eyes his boyfriend as they wait behind a pair of old people for chicken, as if he could read his mind if he traced the lines of his face intently enough for a few seconds. 

When Yangyang doesn’t eat more than a single piece of chicken from the skewer they’re sharing, Renjun half-wonders if the other boy is just feeling ill, if that might explain his conduct. 

“That’s...all you want?” he asks, a smile tempting the corners of his mouth, “You’re so skinny, you should really eat...” and he chuckles, having meant to deliver a playful smack to Yangyang’s poor excuse for an ass to punctuate the thought, but something tells him the other boy would be angered by such a thing, and he cringes at himself, at his own thoughts, at his brain, and clams up for a second. 

He’s pulled from his needless inner turmoil by Yangyang’s fingers on the nape of his neck, and his ear, and he’s immediately relieved, redirecting his attention to a booth just behind them that is lined with plush animals, and he smiles shyly as Yangyang compares him to one of them, chewing his lip to bite back a giggle when his boyfriend tells him he’s cute, his eyes reducing to crescents. 

Yangyang beams in turn, and Renjun is reminded of how sweet he is, of how much he loves him. The other boys’ smile is wide, and toothsome, and Renjun practically vibrates with the desire to lean in and press little kisses to the corners of his lips, where they curled up like elf shoes whenever he broke into a smile. He’d done it a thousand times, and once they were home he’d be doing it a few dozen more, he decides. 

“Stop that!” he says with a laugh, slugging Yangyang playfully in his upper arm, “I don’t think so...do...do they have a little sheep one? That would be you...” he half-wonders aloud, pulling Yangyang after him so he can take a closer look.

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

“you still hungry?” yangyang says eyeing a trash can and throwing away the empty skewer before returning back to renjun’s side and placing a hand at the small of his boyfriend’s back, leading him along further with the current of the crowd. “i want chicken and something to drink. then maybe we can look at some of the cheap stuff they’re always selling,” he suggests. “sound okay?”

Renjun’s not surprised to feel Yangyang’s hand slip from his—he’d not really been gripping it tight—but it still stings. And then he speaks, and Renjun can feel a strange flickering flare of anger spark to life in his chest, surging into his throat, and he furrows his brow, trying to be casual, although the laugh he manages sounds hollow even to him, “Like...literal cannibalism. That’s all I meant...” he explains, his voice joyless. 

He can’t risk so much as a glance at him, either, because he knows then that the frustration he feels will melt down into hurt, and he can’t afford to let that happen; there’s no need to be hurt, or to cry, or any of that. He knows that Yangyang is behaving strangely, but he keeps telling himself, repeating it like a quiet mantra, that he has no way of knowing that he’s the source—not everything revolves around Huang Renjun, and he’s aware of that. 

They get their tteokbokki, and by the time Renjun has eaten most of his from the wooden skewer they were impaled on, the frustration has faded, and he walks beside Yangyang, his eyes watching passersby; old ladies with permed hair, and old men in polo shirts, and young groups of friends, and the occasional couple. He can hear Yangyang talking, but he’s zoned out until he hears look at me, a command which he obeys, almost out of muscle memory.

He’s got something on his face, apparently, and he slows his gait so that Yangyang can wipe it away, and he feels his heart, which has steeled itself ever so slightly, melt back into the warm goo that it usually was in his boyfriend’s presence, and he kicks himself; he just wishes sometimes that he could hold out, that he could be less needy. 

“A-ah. Thanks.” he mutters, a smile parting his lips—he tries not to notice the flicker of genuine warmth in Yangyang’s eyes, because it confuses him beyond measure. He makes a mental note to ask him if he’s alright once they get home.

“I’m...yeah, I’m still kinda peckish.” he says, flinching ever so slightly, more a twitch than anything, at the unexpected touch of Yangyang’s hand against his back, and he chides himself internally, “Ch-chicken sounds really good, yeah. I think...I think I saw some back there, but...” 

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

yangyang can feel renjun recede and it makes his heart twist in an uncomfortable way. the pain that takes over inside his chest makes it hard for him to breathe, and he freezes almost immediately. they shouldn’t have left the house, he thinks. they could be snuggled up and warm, ordering in and watching a scary movie. instead he’s verging another anxiety attack, hyper aware of how fucked up this situation is, how fucked up he is. 

he shakes his shoulders, trying to bury his feelings, if not once and for all, at least for the rest of the night so he doesn’t make his boyfriend feel like shit for no reason. yangyang reaches out, cautiously, fingers grazing against renjun’s as he reaches into his boyfriend’s pocket to hold his hand slightly. he gives him another smile, this time bigger, more yangyang like, with the corners of his mouth pulling up. “tteokbokki is fine,” yangyang says softly nudging renjun a little with his shoulder. he leans in to renjun, whispering in his ear so only he can hear his confession, “i love you.”  

Renjun’s a little surprised when Yangyang takes his hand, and for a second he’s not sure what to think—he’s sure that his confusion shows in his eyes for a moment before he forces it away—he does give Yangyang’s hand a firm, affectionate squeeze, though, his smile prompting one of his own in response. Renjun was starting to feel a lot of quietly frightening moments like these unfolding between them; Yangyang’s energy will stiffen, and Renjun will near-panic in response, and then Yangyang’s back, and Renjun can breath. He’s not sure if he’s imagining that his smile is ever-so-slightly strained, or even that these moments are happening. 

Ideally, he’d not think too much about it, and so he shoves his concerns aside. 

He leans in, whispering in kind, “I love you, too.” delicate, as though the words themselves were fragile, before he locates a stall that appears to be selling tteokbokki on skewers, and nods towards it. “Let’s go. I’m gonna have to eat you if I don’t like...get one of those asap...” 

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

Fantasea

A STARTER FOR @yurglow

Soojin is unduly excited, practically chomping at the bit; she’d been hard at work recently, in the studio, and a day off is exactly what she needed—she’s always loved aquariums. 

Yoorim coming along was a big plus, too. They’d not seen one another properly in what felt like ages, in spite of being roomies, and Soojin was strangely eager to spend the afternoon with her. 

Soojin pays their way, trying to bite back her giddiness, but she can’t help it. 

“When I was in middle school I wanted to be a marine biologist, actually…” she says, as they step past the main desk, and into the entryway, towards a big, upright map. “Kind of funny to think about it. I passed the nerd baton to my brother, though, because by the time I got to high school I think I’d abandoned that dream.” 

She laughs, deciding not to mention that she’d abandoned her dream as a result of her parents beginning to take interest in and encourage it, as she peruses the map.

“Fuck the map, let’s just like...do whatever.” 

She takes the taller girl’s hand and pulls her along a wide, tiled hallway, into the first exhibit; a large, domed room filled with jellyfish tanks, each one underlit in a way that illuminated the pinks and oranges and purples of their amorphous forms. She coos, tugging Yoorim along after her so that she can read the informative plaque posted beside one of the tanks.

[dxyorps-blog]

sapphickrp‌:

yangyang feels somewhat uneasy, looking around to make sure there were no eyes following them through the night market. his anxiety about being out with renjun is worse now that it was before, great, noted. but renjun had wanted to do something and yangyang couldn’t say no, thinking it might not be a great start to their new relationship if he mentioned he didn’t really want to be seen in public being clingy with another boy. 

yangyang’s thoughts are overwhelming and they threaten to damper the mood, but he refuses to give in, reciting in his head over and over how important it is that he not fuck this up. renjun is the only person he can see himself with for the rest of his life, why is it so hard for him to let other people see them together too? his lips are turned into a frown as he looks to renjun, smiling a little. “yeah, of course,” yangyang says softly. “i’m okay with whatever you’re okay with.” 

Renjun can feel that Yangyang is a little tense, skittish, like a stray cat, but he can’t think of why that might be. 

For a moment, Renjun wonders if he said something, or if he’d done something to dampen the other boy’s mood, and he tries very hard to brush those concerns away, and focus on perusing the horde of stalls that have them surrounded; the scowl that is writ across Yangyang’s features turns his stomach in a curious way, prompting Renjun to let go of his boyfriend’s jacket sleeve. 

“I don’t know...” he says, returning Yangyang’s smile with a cautious one of his own, tucking his hands into the pockets of his puffy coat, “We can get some sundae, maybe? Or tteokbokki. Whichever sounds better to you...”

Night Time My Time

[dxyorps-blog]

Night Time My Time

A STARTER FOR @sapphickrp

The night air is chill cold, although not enough so that his breath turns to vapour before him. Renjun doesn’t mind so much. Him and Yangyang, once again his boyfriend, were weaving through a thin crowd of people at the night market, looking for food. The air is cold, but the scents that travel through it are warm, and they make Renjun’s stomach pucker with hunger. 

 “Can we make up our minds?” he says with a half-chuckle. 

It’s a little strange, being out with Yangyang like this, after so much time had passed, and he watches the other boy intently, admiring the familiarity of how he moved, the posture of his shoulders, and the sway of his legs as they step forward. It’s surreal, still. Yangyang is here, and Renjun is yet to be convinced that he isn’t a few seconds away from waking up. 

He doesn’t step from out of his shadow, a palmful of Yangyang’s sleeve clasped tightly in his hand. 

“I’m starving...I’m gonna die…” he claims with a little pout, tugging backwards on Yangyang’s arm.

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sapphickrp‌:

“i love you,” he mumbles, burying his face in renjun’s chest. “you’re sure you want me?” yangyang looks up at renjun shyly. “because… you can have me… if you want…”

Renjun feels a flare of frustration.

He’s here, Yangyang’s here, they’re here in bed, the morning after; he doesn’t see what else there is to talk about. Surely they’d said all that needed to be said, if not in words, than through touch. 

He decides to humour Yangyang, though, and give it a serious moment’s thought. It’s just that any way he does the math, the answer is always yes; of course, their break-up was devastating—the two of them had been together for so long that life without Yangyang was distinctly empty, and full of unforeseen triggers—Renjun would see boys in public whose gaits reminded him of Yangyang’s and he’d have to close his eyes until they were gone, he’d think of a joke and realise that Yangyang was the only person who understood him enough to speak it to and his heart would sink. His emotions were reduced to eggshells, and for a couple of months he was so tender that he could do little else but function, on a baseline level. It was those strange moments of remembrance that’d kept him aware of how much hurt he carried with him, but so much of that hurt is numbed by Yangyang’s presence alone. The warm familiarity of his arms, the taste of his lips, it was such immense relief that he didn’t think he needed to ask any further, to think, or ponder. If anything, that’s what he thinks Yangyang’s doing wrong. 

Renjun can feel his eyes water, ever so slightly, and he defiantly blinks back the emotional display as he thinks for a second, of how much he missed the boy who was now wrapped round him—he just wants him back.

He takes a deep breath, cradling Yangyang’s head in his hand to hold it where it is, wondering at how small, and delicate he seemed. 

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t sure...” he decides, fighting back tears,