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Pauper Fun

So on Saturday I decided to go to a pauper win-a-box tournament.  The week before I had been practicing and gearing up, slowly learning the format in the process.  I had bought into a deck that was my favorite colors: BW Pestilence.  This deck felt grindy and totally my style of deck.  I went into this tournament understanding that I may not do well because of my unfamiliarity with the format, but I wanted to have some fun anyway.  That was my goal for this tournament: Just have some fun.

I arrived an hour early and the shop was already busy.  This shop had been my “local” LGS for the past few weeks and I knew some of the people there already.  This made me feel at home and comfortable.  They were watching Jon Finkle’s stream on the TV screens around the shop.  I discussed the tournament with a few of the guys and we joked around a bit.  I thought the tournament wasn't going to be that big, maybe around 8-10 people.  Boy was I wrong.  Throughout the hour that I waited for the tournament, another 20 people showed up.  Looks like we were going to be in for a long night of pauper.

Round one pairings went up and I see that I’m paired against one of the shop workers named Logan.  I was cool with him and we had even tested a bit the night before at FNM.  I knew he was on WR Weenie aggro and that my deck was favored.  We had some fun and totally joked around.  I however won the match quite easily with a 2-0.  I felt great and was having tons of fun already.

Round two came up and I was paired against a fellow that seemed to be a bit new to magic.  The game started and I quickly realized he was on Soul Sisters.  This was amazing for me because my deck can easily beat this deck.  I tried to joke around with my opponent but he seemed uncomfortable.  Maybe he was dealing with some anxiety like I had in the past.  He took game one and started to perk up a bit.  Game two and three however were not in his favor.  I landed a Pestilence in game two and my opponents eyes widened.  I don't think he ever saw that card coming and I could see he knew what that meant for his deck.  Between games two and three he quickly went to his sideboard and I could see him put in all of his enchantment removal.  This didnt matter however as I didnt need a Pestilence to take game three.  I was now 2-0 and feeling great.  I felt like I was having fun.

Round three pairings went up and I found my seat at the top table.  My opponent sat down in front of me, someone who I knew from the shop before.  This match was fun and we joked around a whole lot.  However, I felt intimidated as I knew my opponent was on UB Delver, the boogeyman of the format.  However, as we joked around and goofed I felt more at ease mentally.  The games didn't go the same way though.  My opponent quite handily beat me 2-0, but I didn't feel discouraged as I think I would have in the past.  The match up is a hard one and shouldn't feel bad for losing it.  I still felt like I was having fun.

Round four came around and when my opponent sat across from me I knew I might be in for some trouble.  This fellow was on a deck I had never seen before.  I noticed it as I was walking around between rounds and was really hoping I wouldn't have to play against it.  I believe its called Temur Wall Combo.  This match however was a roller coaster of a ride.  Game one went as expected.  I was just trying to figure out how his deck worked.  During the match we were both making some wall puns and I nicknamed my opponent “Trump” due to his obsession with making walls.  I felt game one I was totally having fun even though I lost.  Game two we played a bit of a grinder but I was able to slowly burn my opponent out with Pestilence.  This is when my opponents demeanor changed.  He got deadly serious and was seeming to be super focused.  This made me uncomfortable.  I had never seen someone go from joking and jovial to super focused and serious so fast.  Game three was another grinder.  We eventually went to time and ended in a tie after turn 5.  We both discussed how we felt we each could win after a couple more turns.  I really felt like I tried to have fun in this match during the beginning but that fell apart in game three.  This would change how I felt for the rest of the evening.

Round five and final round quickly approached.  I realized I was against another UB Delver opponent and due to my already changed mood, I felt I was definitely not having fun in this round.  I almost ground out a win on game one with a Pestilence, but I couldn't answer my opponents Gurmag Angler.  Game two wasn't even close, however.  It felt like my opponent had an answer for every little thing I did.  I could feel myself becoming tilted a bit.  I tried to correct myself slowly after the match and tried to go joke around with some of the people I was familiar with.   Standings went up and I finished the tournament 2-2-1 at 10th place out of 25.

Conclusion and outcome:  I felt like I had some fun for the vast majority of the night.  It was only until game three of round four that I could feel myself shift to a different mood.  As for achieving my goal of just having fun, I feel I had met that goal.  It wasn't a perfect outcome and the night didn't go completely as planned, but I need to keep in mind that not everything will.  Thank you for reading this.  Please provide any feedback.  I will post my decklist at the bottom.

WB Pestilence

4     Thraben Inspector4     Kor Skyfisher3     Aven Riftwatcher2     Phyrexian Rager2     Guardian of the Guildpact2     Palace Sentinels1     Okiba-Gang Shinobi3     Tragic Slip2     Castigate2     Chainer's Edict3     Doom Blade2     Prismatic Strands2     Unmake2     Prophetic Prism 3     Pestilence2     Barren Moor1     Bojuka Bog3     Orzhov Basilica3     Snow-Covered Plains4     Radiant Fountain4     Scoured Barrens2     Secluded Steppe4     Snow-Covered SwampSide-Board:3     Relic of Progenitus2     Castigate2     Circle of Protection: Blue2     Leave No Trace2     Standard Bearer1     Crypt Rats1     Palace Sentinels2     Okiba-Gang Shinobi

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My “Lucky” FNM

This post is going to be pretty personal.  It involves a lot of my feelings and what I dealt with internally due to some encounters I had last night at FNM.

I decided to go to FNM and I had one goal in mind: Introduce myself to one person.  I felt this would allow me to break out of my shell just a bit, enough that I would be comfortable with it.  I arrived at the store and was greeted nicely by the staff.  I signed up for the standard FNM and waited around and watched others play.  While I didnt introduce myself, I tried to involve myself in conversations and joked about the matches being played.  Soon after the first round of standard FNM was posted.

First round I was paired up against a nice guy playing Merfolk.  We had some friendly banter back and forth about the new Simic cards that were previewed.  I was happy with my plays that I made and eventually took the match 2-1.

Second round I was paired up against a nice guy playing Golgari Midrange.  Being the mirror, and knowing my deck set up, I figured I was advantaged.  My prediction turned out true when I easily won the match 2-0.  I was happy with a lot of the plays I made.  One I was stoked about was sandbagging a Detection Tower in my hand until my opponent played his own Carnage Tyrant.  On my turn I played the land and quickly disposed of his Carny T and Vivien Reed.  Another few plays I was happy with was just chump attacking with my Chupacabra a few times.  My opponent didnt want to block the chupacabra because he figured I had a Find/Finality in hand.  This allowed me to get in a bunch of chip damage without actually having a way to get the chupacabra back into my hand.

Before the third round a big group of players came into the store wanting to play Ultimate Masters draft.  They needed a couple more people to make two full pods, so I decided to see if my third round opponent wanted to split the prize.  He did and I used the 20$ from that to pay for half of my draft.  During the draft I sat quietly, making a few comments here and there.  As I was drafting, I noticed that the Black Red Sacrifice deck was WIDE OPEN.  I quickly moved into this archetype and drafted what I felt to be a pretty good deck.  I had tons of token makers, enablers, and removal spells.

Round 1 of Ultimate Masters draft was announced and I found my opponent.  My opponent didnt think he had a very good deck due to not knowing the format.  After a few turns I noticed he was on a Black Red Green Madness archetype.  My deck seemed to just run him over.  I was able to use Molten Birth and win the flip a few times, creating a huge board in the process.  I was able to take game 1 with a Raid Bombardment and alpha strike.  Game two was much of the same.  However, at one point my opponent became super aggressive.  The turn went as follows:  I played a Bloodflow Connoisseur.  My opponent said “ok.”  I then went to attack with all of my creatures.  My opponent used the discard ability on his Wild Mongrel to discard a Malevolent Whispers targetting my Slum Reaper.  My opponent reached for my card but I replied “Ill respond by sacrificing it.”  This set my opponent off.  He started telling me that im playing too fast and that I didnt give him any chance to respond to what I was doing.  I told him I had waited 10 to 15 seconds between each play and that he was able to go back a few steps if he wanted.  My opponent rudely said “No, its too late, you just need to slow down!”  This shook me.  I have worked hard on slowing down my play.  My opponent demeanor was super aggressive and his tone was far from friendly at this point.  I made it a point to go through every phase step by step just so he couldn't get more angry with me.  I was actually shaking from how this dude spoke and acted towards me.  I didnt want to be there anymore.  I know it doesn't sound like much in this post, but it felt worse in real life.  I won the match 2-0, but I felt like dropping.  I didnt drop though and went on to round 2.

In round 2 I was paired up with another guy who seemed to know the first round guy.  During game 1 my opponent had some mana issues and I easily won the first game.  Between games my opponent stated that “you got lucky, thats the only reason you won.  I usually dont lose if I can draw lands.”  This had me upset too.  I had drafted an aggressive deck and made plays that I thought were correct.  Game two went much the same way.  My opponent played one spell a turn while I was just attacking with my tokens and killing his creatures.  At one point I had played the same Molten Birth 3 turns in a row, winning the flip each time.  This really set my opponent on stating now “lucky” I was.  I didnt feel lucky, I just felt like I had built a good deck and made good plays.  This made me feel like shit and that my decisions didnt matter.  In any case, I won this match 2-0 as well.  I really really didnt want to be here anymore, but my friend who I was talking to online told me to stay.

Round 3 started and I found my opponent.  My opponent was a nice guy for the most part, a bit direct and blunt, but nice.  We had a jovial discussion about our decks and then started the games.  Game 1 I lost due to never drawing a black land.  I ended the game with 3 red lands and 7 black cards in hand.  I didnt feel lucky.  I didnt feel like my opponent was lucky.  I felt like I should have mulliganed this hand and made a better decision.  Game two started and I was able to curve into some tokens into sac outlets into raid bombardment for the win.  Game three started much the same way.  I was able to make some tokens, remove his blockers, and pound in for the win.  My opponent noticed I had been shaking during this time.  I told him I have anxiety and was feeling it currently.  My opponent then told me “well  you probably shouldn't play magic if you have anxiety.”  This floored me.  How could someone say that just because I have a disorder that I couldn't/shouldn't do something.  I felt so dejected.  This made me so happy to win this whole draft.  The prize was 25$ store credit and the box topper. The box topper was a Stirring Wildwood.  I quickly left the store and headed home.

This night had a big impact on me.  It made me feel like anytime I had told someone they were lucky or when I tilted on them that I was hurting them.  I vowed now to never put someone through what I went through.  At the end of the day, though, I was happy with my play and the decisions that I made.

My decklists:

Golgari Midrange:

4 Llanowar Elves 2 Cast Down 4 Merfolk Branchwalker 4 Wildgrowth Walker 3 Find // Finality 3 Midnight Reaper 4 Jadelight Ranger 2 Ravenous Chupacabra 3 Vraska's Contempt 1 Vraska, Golgari Queen 1 Karn, Scion of Urza 1 Doom Whisperer 2 Vivien Reid 2 Carnage Tyrant 1 Vraska, Relic Seeker 2 Memorial to Folly 5 Swamp 7 Forest 4 Overgrown Tomb 4 Woodland Cemetery 1 Detection Tower

SB:

4 Duress 1 Cast Down 1 Assassin's Trophy 2 Golden Demise 1 Plaguecrafter 1 Deathgorge Scavenger 1 Thrashing Brontodon 1 Ritual of Soot 1 Golgari Findbroker 1 Karn, Scion of Urza 1 The Eldest Reborn

Draft List:

2 Fume Spitter 1 Sanitarium Skeleton 2 Last Gasp 1 Chainer's Edict 1 Fire//Ice 1 Ghoulcallers Accomplice 2 Hissing Iguanar 3 Bloodflow Connoisseur 3 Molten Birth 1 Soul's Fire 1 Raid Bombardment 2 Slum Reaper 1 Moan of the Unhallowed 2 Unholy Hunger 7 Swamp 1 Island 9 Mountain

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12/15 PPTQ

On Saturday I decided to go to a PPTQ. Leading up to the event I was debating what to run between Golgari or Izzet. I decided to run Izzet due to more familiarity with it. My plan for the event was to slow down my pace of play. One of The Practicing Minds lessons is to do things one at a time. Don't shortcut and bunch things together, instead you should deliberately do things one by one.

Round 1: I was against a guy I had played in a different event. I knew he was on boros aggro and kept a hand that could punish it. I was able to slowly think of my plays. At one point, my opponent tapped out to play Heroic Reinforcements. I looked at my hand of shock, spell Pierce, and a couple other cards. My first and quick inclination was to just shock one of the tokens. However, I paused and realized I could just spell Pierce it. I was proud of this as I feel in past events I may have just quickly let him finish casting. I won the match 2-0 and was happy. My opponent complained about Mana issues. I never know how to feel here. I felt sad for him and felt a bit like my victory was downplayed.

Round 2: I played against Izzet phoenix this round. After keeping a 1 lander and not finding a third source, even though I had 2 opts and 2 Discovery, I felt dejected. However I was able to win my next two games and won the match 2-1. This made me feel great. However, this opponent also complained about Mana issues. I knew he had Mana issues in the 3rd game, and even exploited this fact but countering an opt that he was using to look for lands. I felt super happy with this play as it allowed me to run away with the game. These comments from my opponents made me feel like my play wasn't as good as it seemed.

Round 3: I played against Golgari this round at the top tables. During the first game my opponent realized he left a sb card in and called the judge on himself. I was happy to see an honest player do this. He was given a game loss. I felt kinda lucky as I think I was gonna lose the game. I also realized I needed to slow down. I had missed a few triggers during the game and those may have helped me if the match went on. I definitely didn't want to win the match because of this though. Unfortunately I could not rally and win another game. I lost the match 1-2. I felt a bit down and started to get the feeling of failure. I just told myself that it's a rough match up and I can still rally.

Round 4: This round I played against boros aggro again. This match didn't particularly feel close. He just kind of ran me over. I'm not sure what I could have done. Maybe better Mulligan decisions. I lost the round 0-2. Once again, I started to get down on myself. It's a position in a tournament I had been in before and didn't wanna fail again. I just told myself I could potentially top 8 if I just won my next two rounds.

Round 5:. I was up against Golgari again this round. The first game I felt I had a great start, but my opponent landed a Carnage tyrant and I just couldn't answer it. I really felt dejected now. Being in such a good position, only to fail due to not being able to answer something. Game 2 is when I realized my opponent was a bit newer to the game than I. I started to feel entitled to my victory. I have a problem with thinking that just cause I'm more experienced or did more preparing than someone, that I deserve to win over them. This thinking is something I need to rid myself of. I should be happy for anyone that wins. I was able to win the next 2 games this round and was happy that I would at least end the day 50/50 on record. After looking at standings, I knew it would be very improbable that I would top8. However, I wanted to know if I could go 4-2 in a tournament, so I decided to play it out.

Round 6: When I sat down, my opponent instantly told me he was giving me the win. This mad me sad. I didn't want to win this way. I wanted to earn my win. I asked my opponent if he would still play a friendly game with me. He initially declined but he decided he had nothing better to do anyway. My opponent was on dimir surveil. The fact that the match wasn't for anything made it super fun. We both kept helping each other with triggers and just joking around. One of the games ended when my opponent used a Nemonic Betrayal to take every win condition out of my deck. I was able to win against him 2-1. I felt good that I was able to go 4-2 and ended the tournament in 11th place.

Another narrative through this day was me and my second round opponent kept checking in on each other to see if the other won. At the end of round 5, my opponent was only 1 ranking higher than me. He ended up getting into top 8 at 8th place. I'd like to think that my wins helped someone achieve their goal.

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First standard showdown.

Last night I went to my first paper standard showdown. I decided to play golgari as it is what I think I will play at the pptq this Saturday.

First round I felt great. I was against a jeskai Drake control list and felt like I was the underdog. I quickly took game 1 and felt so pumped. Game 2 went long with a bunch of back and forths. Ultimately my opponent took game 2. We started game 3 with 10 minutes left in the round. Playing at lightning speed, I felt I was able to make good decisions. I made a couple play errors, but ultimately took the game and match.

Round 2 I was against Naya dinosaurs. I quickly won game 1 and felt unstoppable. Game 2 though I got run over, and badly. Game 3 I got put behind quickly and never recovered. I felt so down. I felt like I should have won the match against a deck that was considered lesser tiered. However, I knew I needed to change this style of thinking. I kept telling myself that it wasn't bad to lose to a deck I wasnt prepared for. I shouldn't be ashamed of this. Round 3 I quickly dispatched my opponent who was on GW tokens. Opponent was super cheerful so it made for a fun game regardless. It was nice to see someone who just lost act so happy anyway. It made me want to be a better person.

Overall I went 2-1 for 3rd place.

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Hello

Hello, my name is Kyle. I am starting this blog to help me through a transition period of my life. I love strategy games, particularly Magic: the Gathering. I also suffer from mental health issues, such as anxiety and imposter syndrome. This blog is going to be my tool to improve at both by combining them.

What I plan on doing:

I have been inspired to do this by many people, such as Thyst from Lagging Balls, Spencer from Constructed Criticism, and Holly Conrad. My most inspiring source however, comes from a book called "The Practicing Mind" by Thomas M. Sterner. This book teaches how to become better at something through slow steady practice. It's focus is to teach someone how to learn to love practicing. This book will be my main tool to learning both how to become better at magic, as well as utilizing techniques to manage my mental health. I will be using a different technique each week to help progress myself.

I will be using this blog to keep account of my feelings and progress. Each week I will write about a magic event I attended. It will include how I did, how I felt I did, what emotions I faced, and how I used the techniques of the week. I will keep my emotions accountable and truthful.

I will also start to stream at least once a week. I am planning on doing two days, Monday and Thursday, but I may not always feel up to it. I will try my best though. You can follow my stream at http://www.twitch.tv/dysposablehero

My goals:

My original goal was to eventually play on the Magic Pro Tour. However, since that's not a thing going forward, I hope to play on the highest level, whatever that may be. That is a long term goal. I don't anticipate achieving it in the near future, but it is something I want to do.

My short term goals are to become a better player and become accepting of my mental health. I also hope to help others like me through my stories and experiences. I also hope to learn from you all and create a community that is committed to learning.

Welcome to my blog, I hope you enjoy yourself.