eaglet-if

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slice of life/romance

I just took a lengthy nap and have dreamt what's possibly the most problematic ro ever into existence

just a complete piece of trash

but I already love him so much

and tbf the whole project he belongs to probably belongs in quarantine in the first place

(it's project number four, btw. don't worry though, I never work on three and four unless an idea comes on its own. the plan is to finish @a-dying-wish-if, project three and project four in succession on the side so I have something completed to show for during the years it will take to complete Орлёнок.)

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btw, project 4 now has the most progress out of all of them, even though it still doesn't have a name

so, I'm open for ideas i guess

I just took a lengthy nap and have dreamt what's possibly the most problematic ro ever into existence

just a complete piece of trash

but I already love him so much

and tbf the whole project he belongs to probably belongs in quarantine in the first place

(it's project number four, btw. don't worry though, I never work on three and four unless an idea comes on its own. the plan is to finish @a-dying-wish-if, project three and project four in succession on the side so I have something completed to show for during the years it will take to complete Орлёнок.)

[eaglet-if]

Yeah, uh... sorry about that. The demo update will be on a Friday, I guess.

I've been in a ridiculously bad state both physically and mentally for the past year, and things only seem to get worse (which is especially a problem because right now I'm in the midst of my final exams with my financial lifelihood on the line).

That being said, I've never stopped working on my various story projects, both interactive and not, and although Eaglet has seen the least progress out of all of them, it means that all of them including Eaglet will be finished someday (unless I off myself before that, fingers crossed).

Demo will remain unplayable (not moved to new hosting site) because I don't have a playable version currently - all the not completely finished parts added throughout the current demo as well as the mass of combat code (more about that below) currently makes it a mess of dead-end choicelines which I'd rather finish than mark as such.

Lastly, the combat... you've read the posts about the warfare system? Thought that it sounded incredibly complicated?

Well, turns out it was. Both in terms of code and playability. Don't get me wrong, I did finish the code - which is why I know it's too complex in terms of playability - but I will have to scrap a large part of it, namely the map system. Which is a shame, because the random map generation in particular was a nightmare to code. But not only is it really hard for players to properly navigate the map as Choicescript - nor any other text game language, by their very nature, at least as far as I am aware - does not have a graphical interface that would support such a map. I'll make a proper map painting grand strategy game someday, but for now I'm giving up on tangible maps.

(Also, I didn't think about how randomly generated maps with dynamic movement and that many tile modifiers would affect the AI - coding a responsive and actively maneuvering enemy is always a big task even if the action happens on static nodes, but on such a complex map it's far beyond my capabilities, especially in a programming language so utterly unsuited to this kind of thing.)

That's all folks, thanks for reading if you did. I'll probably not have the energy to post here again unless there's news, but you can assume none of my projects are dead in the meantime (if I'm dead, @reinekes-fox will know from me ghosting him for longer than the by now usual two or three weeks (sorry ;_;))

1. Somehow, I'm still not dead

2. I know about the dashingdon issue, but thanks to everyone who made sure

3. Demo update on Friday

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1. Somehow, I'm still not dead

2. I know about the dashingdon issue, but thanks to everyone who made sure

3. Demo update on Friday

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Слышу голос - голос спрашивает строго:

А сегодня что для завтра сделал я?

Я клянусь, что стану чище и добрее...

Ну, не будь ко мне жестоко.

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random vent post, sorry

So, while finishing up the third project ( @perceptron-failure-if ), I've stumbled over a line I was unsure whether to leave in because it's quite crass. I ultimately decided to keep it though, as it accurately represents how men think/talk about women when they're among themselves.

Context (tw sexism):

On the day I wrote the section in question, there was a sports day at school and I suffered the great misfortune of accidentally listening in on some guys from my class talking, thinking they were among themselves. Wasn't the first time, but it never fails to shock me.

I was originally pretty happy because they were doing some of the exercises with two girls from a different class and were very normal towards them, to the point that they thanked them for making the (forced by the teachers) arrangement comfortable. My happiness only lasted until the two girls were out of hearing range though.

Because then, the conversation immediately became this:

Guy A: So, Girl 1 looks like she's quite easy to get into bed, but I honestly prefer Girl 2.

(other guys give their opinions on who of the two is more worthy of being fucked by them)

Guy A: Actually, i think I might have to retract my choice, I don't think Girl 2 is 18 yet. (vocational school, age range is all the way from 16 to 40. these guys were all 19-23)

Guy B: Eh, as long as she looks like she might be 18, it doesn't matter.

Guy C: Yeah, as my boss at work always says, if you take them from behind there's no difference between 13 and 23.

Guy B: See? So just do it from behind.

(everyone does dirty laughs)

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So I did a thing! Has the first volery activity with the Nest added as well as a part of the time wrap up!

Will add a small snippet showing the normal Divine Flock once I am home but it got approved after I left for work :(

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I can only put on headwear the first time we can dress ourselves, the other clothing doesnt work or im too dumb to understand

Either way girly will continue slaying even if clothed in bloodied rags

Can you please elaborate what you mean by "doesnt work"? Like, does nothing happen when you click on the other categories? Or can you go into the categories, but the options there do not save?

The code is pretty straightforward, I need more information to check for errors ;_;

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Progress on the main project: the religious parts will now play a more major role, even outside the Living Saint route.

...Veritas Vincit?

(in retrospect, i think i may have had a crush on jan čapek ze sán when i was like 12)

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sorry i woke up in my rantsona. but like seriously isn't it fucking twisted that every child in almost every country are basically legal property of their parents. like their parents have complete control over where they can go, who they can talk to, which words out of their mouth are truth or lies; they're allowed, encouraged even, to be the sole interface by which the child connects to everything else in this world. like isnt that extraordinary. like how is it a mystery to anyone that children are constantly dying under parental abuse or growing up into utterly dysfunctional traumatised adults. why are we talking about these nebulous narratives of "the unstoppable and nuanced cycle of abuse" instead of looking straight at the reality we've built specifically for this purpose

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those funny little side effects went on for about three weeks, after that was one week of intense depression, and then it worked sort of fine for a while - still constant horrible nightmares, but stable sleep and no side effects. Except it eventually worked less and less and a week ago I had to stop taking it altogether - it barely worked anymore, and my psychiatrist decided not to try any other meds either since she's convinced I'll react even worse to them.

Which means I'm now stuck with waking up 2-3 times per night again from all the horrible dreams, which I can't really compensate with after-work naps anymore... maybe I'm just paranoid (well, I am, but usually not in this way), but I feel like my psychiatrist is intentionally withholding any meds that could help now, in order to let my sleep situation finally force me into extended therapy (which I can't do for various reasons). Like, she spent years trying to talk me into SSRIs, and now she suddenly tells me meds "just don't work on people like me"? s u s

Once again sorry for going off-topic, but this blog has always been 50/50 between traumadumping and devlogs, so hopefully you're used to it by now.

Anyway, fingers crossed that I get my projects done/the other project demos out before I finally go full insane or off myself c:

I'm really trying hard

my psychiatrist finally talked me into trying antidepressants (trazodone, my sleep issues/constant nightmares finally broke me) - tried it for the first time yesterday, and it was absolutely horrible. same feeling as sleep paralysis, vision problems, and I still had mild (but extremely stressful) nightmares in the end. plus, I feel like a zombie today. good times.

don't know where I'm going with this, apart from making excuses why updates for my projects are so slow ;_; sorry

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Sorry ;_;

may you find solace in the fact that I suffer greatly from every day I don't post an actual update (especially since the Орлёнок finished prologue and the full release of @perceptron-failure-if have been so close to completion for months now)

the core issue is that, in order to be able to write, I need to be just miserable enough to be inspired, but not miserable enough to be paralyzed; and I've been very much swinging to the latter for quite a while now. like, I don't mean to whine, but I'm constantly veering dangerously close to a forced grippy sock vacation, and still have to try to somehow stay alive, keep my job etc., which is really hard

(fun fact: I've even lost my voice at this point because I haven't spoken to anyone in weeks)

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Another small update :(

I have been really sick the last weeks, but you can finally choose your first name!

https://dashingdon.com/go/16963

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I've never actually seen a maid in real life, but based on the way people post about them here, I gather that they're basically like a praetorian guard with cuter outfits and a better weapons load-out.

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they are back

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Mostly working on Project Four at the moment.

MC is such a precious little cookie, working hard on getting relationship advice ;_;

(slight spoilers I guess)