abi | 24 | dumb bitch w/ small tits
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Laura Palmer (Twin Peaks) // Dennis Reynolds (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
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once every month with 20k notes: *person so chronically online they've looped* i think we should consider agreeing with the status quo
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magical girl naomi osaka
based on this outfit of hers
#the coquette brat summer magical girl of it all#thank god at least one of the girlies are pulling their weight bc the mens nike kits are dull as dishwater#controversial opinion but i think the purple adidas dress w/ the sleeves is cute too#better than their penguin ass clay szn kit
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tw: theft, body horror, facial disfigurement
Hee hoo I got your nose!🫰👃
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(driving home from work) i must not kill myself. killing myself is the myself killer. i will— (sees a guy jogging shirtless and he’s all sweaty) Woaw i wish I lived in his armpit (crashes car into telephone pole)
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Me stepping onto the balcony to address my followers
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i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media
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I don’t want to find out about world events anymore
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i'm not a lesbian as far as i know and i already have a wife but thanks tumblr
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why is this the hottest thing i've ever seen
#professional sport needs more of this#like the italian high jumper who after he won pretended to limp#then took off his shoes to reveal some metal springs#all the while having one half of his beard shave
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hey girl i was biden my time waiting for y— [backspace backspace backspace] hey girl did you drop out of a coconut tree beca— [backspace backspace] hey girl i hope it's not joever —
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whenever i see another tiktok girlie talking about how she wishes to have been a fangirl in 2010s i feel like a seasoned veteran overhearing a foolish youngin boasting about wanting to go to war for glory and adventure. you naive little idiot. you know nothing. you understand nothing. you weren't there in the trenches. i have seen things, terrible things. i cannot plug in my phone charger at night without being plagued by the visions of Him
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