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Day 15
You've lasted over two weeks. How do you feel?
Guilty. I don't feel like I've actually lasted, because I've given into urges. I haven't full out binged, not in the way I used to. I haven't let myself gorge on multiple treats after midnight, but I've let myself eat too much dried mango, or have a bowl of cereal after 11pm or eaten 2 spoonfuls of peanut butter instead of one. My best friend insists it's all relative, that at least I'm not binging on twinkies and ice cream, but I don't know. It still scares me that I feel like the food controls me more than I control it. It scares me that I still feel like I'm starting over instead of that I have started over and am making progress. And mostly, I'm upset because my pants still don't fit. Excuse me while I go weigh myself and get disappointed that I probably lost nothing this week.
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Day 14
Do you think your binging is emotional?
In short, yes.
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Day 13
What are you doing to make sure you are drinking enough water?
I actually need to start drinking more water again. I need to go out and buy a water bottle, write my name all over it, and become glued to it. If I carry it everywhere it starts to become fun, drinking from it, seeing how many times I can refill it. It always gets me to drink more water, until I lose it.
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Gala apple, green salad (spinach, butter lettuce, carrot ribbons, and cucumber), spicy plantain chips, Vitasoy malt soy milk, dark chocolate, tangelo orange and blackberries.
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put “top five” anything in my ask and i will answer ok go
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I have to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.
Audre Lorde (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
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roasted winter squash, cranberry, and almond salad.
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Day 12
Why do you think you binge?
I binge because food is available and it's a distraction. I've never been very good at dealing with my feelings and my parents taught me it was immature to cry. At this point it's more of an impulse than anything though, not exactly a thought process. I'm trying to change that.
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