eatlikeadairyfarmer - Tumblr blog

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Hi Dan! What was your easiest catch (you know I'm not talking about an animal)? And perhaps someone managed to get away from you? Say hi to your mom.

Everyone's easy to catch, no one ever got away. Not countin' Lee and his group. I guess younger people tend to be dumber and less aware of their surroundings, so you could say they're easier.

Momma said hi to you, she likes the sunglasses the little circles got.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

can i give andy a kiss i need permission please

I don't give a shit leave me alone. This is my page I'm sick of this "let me kiss Andy let me throw eggs at Andy let me suck Andy's toes" bullshit You wanna kiss Andy thn go fucking kiss Andy I ain't his god damn secretary and Fuck you people. Andy this Andy that Andy Andy Andy. Stupid. He's stupid. He ain't better than me, he ain't the one. He ain't nothin. Good for nothin' nobody couldn't even saw a limb off if he tried, had to get his widdle brodder to do all the nasty stuff. It's too much for me make him stop screamin Dan wah wah wah boo fucking hoo. What a stupid fucking asshole. Stupid baby bitch.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

do you have that skibidi gyatt ohio livvy dunn rizz?

Okay.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Is Danny for something like a nickname? Then dan is a different nickname? Like how your brother Andrew is andy?

Nah. My name's Danny. It rhymes with Andy's nickname. It was supposed to be a cute lil matching thing but it was more of me bein' an after thought. It's what's on the certificate.

I don't mind. Don't need no fancy full name. It feels pretty sissy to have one anyhow. Who the hell wants to be a pussy named "Daniel"..? I'll pass..

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Do you think from the first time to now, do the people you eat all taste different?

Some people are saltier than others. Some people are sweeter. There's nothin' that helps you tell how a person's gonna taste, you get surprised each time.

It'd be different if we started farmin' people like animals and got the chance to figure that stuff out long term.. but Andy and Momma always hated that idea..

Chicken nuggets haha

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Do you think human meat changed you? Also, how did you feel about eating it for the first time?

I felt alive. I changed, yeah. I woke up.

I think it's what a home run in baseball was meant to feel like. Real nice. You won, here's your reward.

It's funny. It's sick, but it's funny. And nobody cares. Nobody sees it.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

How do you think your life and your families lived would've been like if the whole apocalypse thing never happened? I imagine you would have still been running your insurance company or something.

Also, did you know who Lee was before the dead times from the news? If you did, what did you think of his whole case about killing a guy?

Yeah, I'd still be running that company in the city, Andy would be helping out around the farm. Waitin' for Daddy to retire so he could take over. That's what they always had planned. I kinda prefer the alternative. I heard about Lee's case, yeah. I was hopin' we'd have a few things in common. I liked the idea of someone else that thought the same way I did. I liked Lee. But Lee couldn't mind his own business.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

hello dan, i hope ur doing well, i made this drawing of you and andrew (its terrible ik) as a spring gift! happy spring!<3

It's great. Happy spring.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

like. what is so good about charlotte. she is a GUN

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Hello Danny! Just wondering when are you and Andy's birthdays? And one more thing - does anyone in your family believe in astrology and predictions for zodiac signs (I think YOU probably don't)?

My birthday is in the fall, Andy's is in the summer time. We don't really pay attention to that zodiac stuff. It's all a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. Jesus has the answers, not some damn stars in the sky..

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Dan, hi! Does your mother torment you with hints about grandchildren, marriage and other mommy bullshit? Thanks for your reply and happy upcoming spring!

Happy spring to you too anon. I love spring.

She don't torment me none with the reproducing.. I can't have kids, so it'd be pretty insensitive.

Everyone in the family accepted a while ago that my life wouldn't have family as a priority. Ladies ain't really my thing anyway.. ain't anything they can do for me that Charlotte doesn't do ten times better. I focused on other things.

She does call me adorable and sweet all the time, makes me smile. Momma's got a big heart.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Hello Danny! Do you have some kind of phobia or just fear? Maybe you were afraid of something as a child, and then you outgrew it (in this case, maybe this fear is associated with some traumatic event)? What about Andy - is he afraid of something? P.S. I’m terribly afraid of snakes and clowns : -( Probably more afraid of snakes, since it’s more likely to meet a snake on the street than a damn clown!

Andy's pretty flakey around snakes too, and spiders. Me, I dunno. I ain't scared of people, ain't got a phobia of talkin' to em, I just don't like to do it if I can help it.

Wish I could give ya some kinda sad little backstory, but I ain't got one. Nothin' traumatic, no "triggers" or whatever you people call em'.

I don't dream much but sometimes I get nightmares about the ocean. I've always got the upper hand in them woods, but the ocean.. ain't familiar. Maybe I've got a phobia there. Never been out in it before.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Chicken Nuggets

Okay.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

What did Mark taste like to you, I'm just curious

Tasted about the same as everyone else, plus the flavor was covered by what momma cooked it with, so ya couldn't really feel the personality on yer tongue. Just the home cooked meal parts. I'd say I wished he had a little more fat to him. The vet- now she would've been pretty damn good..

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Ever had a karaoke? Maybe with someone or your family?

Nah. Maybe when I was too black out drunk to remember back in the city? Couldn't tell ya. I ain't really a fan of puttin' attention on myself..

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

Hi Dan! What exactly are you using to write here - a computer, laptop, smartphone or tablet? Does your mom use this? Because mine always screams that she hates the Internet and all this technology when it comes to paying bills and work, but she is always ready to text with her friends. And she loves all kinds of videos with animals, old films. What site do you hang out on most often? Something to do with guns, or is it stereotypical?

I'm using my fat juicy brain to communicate with y'all telepathically but don't tell momma it Andy because they'll think I'm a liberal.

Just kiddin'. I'm usin' a phone. Momma and Andy both use technology but none of us use it like the kids these days are usin' it. That's why I ain't fumbling to be on here every day. If I'm bored I'll go on a shock website or two. Watch people die. It's.. heh. Y'know. I'm not sayin' it's as good as the real thing but I guess we all gotta make due somehow. Hope that's not too stereotypical of me..

When Charlotte ain't lookin' I might just browse some gun sites. Nothing could ever replace my girl, she just gets jealous is all.

[eatlikeadairyfarmer]

What's your opinion on sunny summer days? When it's hot and all, what do usually do when it's super hot over there?

When it's hot out we just go down to the river and cool off. We don't usually like to stay inside much anyhow, least I don't. Had enough of that in the city. We've got some inflatable pool floaters, them donuts and whatnot. Makes for a peaceful day. I don't really care for summer. I get sunburnt real bad on my face if I ain't careful. Spring is my favorite season.