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That Time • Regina Spektor

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you know how sometimes you see a shape from a distance and hope it's a cat or other small pettable animal. but it turns out to be just a plastic bag or something. well that's sort of what just happened to me, except for some reason i decided it must be a gargoyle statue someone had decided to abandon on the side of the road. so i think i may have just had a truly unique human experience.

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dump of my favorite marine biology memes 🦑🐠🦈🪸

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caramel frappe give me the strength to clean my room

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.║\ ║▒\ put this on your blog ║▒▒\ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ to show others ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ▓▓▓▓▓ [█▓] [█▓] you are gay [█▓]

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no "other/see results" option bc JUST CHOOSE ONE

YOU TOO, GENDER-CONFORMERS,

EVERYONE!

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Thoughtful mlem

Idea formed

LEAP

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A job I was applying for mentioned I would be working with something called a “frosted flatwoods salamander”, which sounded positively delightful, so I looked them up and I could not be more pleased with what this beast looks like

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i invented a machine that transcribes the inner thoughts of oysters and it turns out the first oyster i tested it on was thinking like "beautiful human woman riding a bike i am the bike i am the bike"and i tested it on more oysters and it was all "delicious sediment" "my mucous membrane itchy" "i wish to digest particles" so i guess that one guy was just real horny

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“studies have shown”

WHAT STUDIES, WHO CONDUCTED THEM, WHERE ARE THEIR RESULTS, CITE YOUR SOURCES

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dear mojang

add more crops in minecraft im begging you im on my hands and knees give us tomatoes give us onions give us strawberries give us peppers

add more food recipes please give us sandwiches give us more pastries give us pudding or some shit

sincerely, the farmer of every minecraft server

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think is so lovely that we can choose to be kind

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just found out i've been abandoned by god which means he's not watching anything i do anymore. you should come over.