edyoungster

[edyoungster]

X-Men Evolution (2002) x The Craft (1996) x Coyote Ugly (2000) x Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1999)

[edyoungster]

Gonna miss u, dik. Even you already become elder sister to others, you always lil sister to me.

[edyoungster]

This is what we called 'nightmare dressed like a daydream' theme. Hahahahahahahaha. Black & White.

[edyoungster]

Me and my adek kesayangan. Selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin. #bondingtime

[edyoungster]

[edyoungster]

I always hate war. Why war? Why violence?

I should be working on my finals but I can’t. I need to talk about this because the world is looking at us through Notre-Dame, and I need to use this. You want to talk about France? LET’S TALK.

We have been on the brink of civil war since November.

You can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to live in France right now. Every Saturday, we protest for our rights, our civil, constitutional rights. Some may remember the student protests of last year (if not, here is a chronology of what happened: x, x, x, x). Since then, it’s gone downhill. In my university, the dean faces charges but is still in function, he hired a milicia with bulldogs who patrols the uni and separates any group of student they deem too big. They used to control our id before going in. The police violence is the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

I’m terrified to go outside, but I still go to protests because we are being silenced, slowly, methodically, by the Macron government. I was hurt multiple times during protests, almost always in the face. I was gassed, I was hit by water canons. The police isn’t even caring about the non-protesters. I’ve seen them shoot gas grenades at toddlers, three-year-old choking on lacrymo. Two girls, gassed, and a little nine-year-old who had her arm broken running away.

A mother falling to the ground because a plastic-shrapnel grenade exploded next to her ankle and destroyed her foot. Most of my friends have PTSD, any sharp sound can send every single one of us into a panic attack. We can’t handle fireworks or firecrackers anymore.

The blood. I can’t make you understand how much blood is spilled during the protests. The number of times they scream MEDIC during protests makes me sick.

On record, there are currently three persons who were shot in the eye. One man had his hand ripped off. Multiple men and women got broken ribs from the flashballs. THEY EVEN SHOOT AT REPORTERS from the national television and freelancers, with water canons and flashballs. They’ve beaten minors unconscious, they’ve shot a flashball into someone’s mouth and it exploded his cheek, they’ve thrown a disabled man off his wheelchair.

During the protests, we break things. Of course we do. We break glass, mostly, because it’s the cheapest to repair and it’s what’s the most impacting visually, so it’s our compromise. They break us.

If you carry a camera into a protest, they’ll track you down and target you until either your camera is dead or you’re too beaten up to be able to film. I’ve been there. I never bring my camera anymore. And even then, I wouldn’t film anyway, because the police is on social media, and they look at every video, they identify people’s faces, and then people get in trouble. They block entire streets so you can’t escape them. They make ‘nests’ where they circle around protesters until they’re surrounded, then they throw a gas grenade in the middle and when people run away towards the edges, they catch everyone one by one and beat them bloody.

And the worst is the misinformation. The media have done such a good job at misrepresenting the protests that there is infighting inside my own family, inside most families, at work, at school, between people who think the government is doing its best to control the situation and the protesters are violent anarchists set to destroy the country, and the people who’ve actually been in protests, who’ve peacefully raised their hands up when asked and where shot in the ribs with a flashball in thanks. My own parents didn’t believe me until I came back from a protest with a split eyebrow and sprained wrist.

This is a short documentary a French newsreport/gamer youtuber made. If you speak French, it will give you another inside view. If not, you can just watch the images from March 18th, until now the most violent protest since November.

In Paris, now the army is in the street. They pulled back the anti-terrorism squads soldiers (about 7,000) and put them in the street, against us. They had orders to shoot after three warnings and they are armed to kill. THEY ARE ARMED WITH LETHAL WEAPONS. The last time the army was sent to control a protest was in 1948.

You want to talk about France? Talk about that. We are scared. We feel abandoned by the world. And guess what? If France falls, you’re all coming with us. Right now, it’s easy to forget that the same thing is happening in South-America and all over Middle-East, because Western media doesn’t like talking about anything that isn’t white and pretty. But if they managed to forget to talk about just how bad it is here, then it’s going to happen to you too. So the first step? Is to talk about it. Share this, share other news report. Talk about it with your friends, your families. Contact your local news, ask them why no one is talking about it. Go to social media, tweet people, ask questions. Hell, ask ME questions.

France is heading straight to civil war, and I’m terrified.

[edyoungster]

Yup. it's trueeee

if you could rb this esp if you’re non-muslim, it would be very appreciated. 

i’m always happy to see people supporting muslims. however, as the month of ramadan approaches, i’ve noticed a lot of the “nsfr (not safe for ramadan)” posts popping up. these are mainly made by white people, although some by muslims.

the whole point of ramadan is to be surrounded by food, water, swearing,(NSFW things are excluded from this post, those should be tagged) etc, and resisting the temptation to participate in anything. ramadan is about recognizing what we take for granted everyday and learning to appreciate it. we mindlessly feed our bodies food we don’t necessarily need everyday. to be able to let yourself be thirsty and hungry gives an insight to those who live like that daily, with no end to it. they do not get to just wait until the sun goes down to be able to eat a big meal surrounded by family. they continue to be hungry, regardless of what time of day it is. it reminds us of the struggles that poor and/or homeless people face. 

the point of fasting is to submit to Allah for as long as humanly possible, which is from dawn to dusk. fasting is indeed incredibly hard, that is true. seeing water when i fast is very difficult for me. however, people in countries who mass celebrate ramadan, go to work in the 100+ degree F weather, the kids at school don’t stop fasting just because they’re in school, etc. it’s slightly offensive that these posts are made “uwu!! be safe!! it’s hot out!!! don’t let yourself pass out!!!im tagging everything i can!!! uwu!!!” because most of those posts are made by people asking for notes rather than those who actually care about muslims. 

i’m going to wrap this up because it’s long, but please, don’t treat muslims like babies. we are mostly capable of seeing such things you guys tag during ramadan and not being affected. if you DO reblog posts about NSFR things, please do so FROM AN ACTUAL MUSLIM. 

thank you.

[edyoungster]

Yup. it's trueeee

if you could rb this esp if you’re non-muslim, it would be very appreciated. 

i’m always happy to see people supporting muslims. however, as the month of ramadan approaches, i’ve noticed a lot of the “nsfr (not safe for ramadan)” posts popping up. these are mainly made by white people, although some by muslims.

the whole point of ramadan is to be surrounded by food, water, swearing,(NSFW things are excluded from this post, those should be tagged) etc, and resisting the temptation to participate in anything. ramadan is about recognizing what we take for granted everyday and learning to appreciate it. we mindlessly feed our bodies food we don’t necessarily need everyday. to be able to let yourself be thirsty and hungry gives an insight to those who live like that daily, with no end to it. they do not get to just wait until the sun goes down to be able to eat a big meal surrounded by family. they continue to be hungry, regardless of what time of day it is. it reminds us of the struggles that poor and/or homeless people face. 

the point of fasting is to submit to Allah for as long as humanly possible, which is from dawn to dusk. fasting is indeed incredibly hard, that is true. seeing water when i fast is very difficult for me. however, people in countries who mass celebrate ramadan, go to work in the 100+ degree F weather, the kids at school don’t stop fasting just because they’re in school, etc. it’s slightly offensive that these posts are made “uwu!! be safe!! it’s hot out!!! don’t let yourself pass out!!!im tagging everything i can!!! uwu!!!” because most of those posts are made by people asking for notes rather than those who actually care about muslims. 

i’m going to wrap this up because it’s long, but please, don’t treat muslims like babies. we are mostly capable of seeing such things you guys tag during ramadan and not being affected. if you DO reblog posts about NSFR things, please do so FROM AN ACTUAL MUSLIM. 

thank you.

[edyoungster]

Dear You, Sayang

I know you will never read this. This is why i will write it here. This is just for me to write and relieve this suffocating feeling inside me. Dear you, sayang... Can I give up on you? I'm afraid of losing myself each day by each day. I'm afraid of loving you more than myself. I'm afraid of the pain losing you. Perhaps I should give up on loving you? Dear you, sayang... I get the feeling that one day you will eventually leave me behind. Should I stop loving you for now? I'm afraid I will never recover my heart after losing it to you. Because I feel like I like you more and more each day. But I also feel like I'm unwanted by you. I feel like my feelings are burden for you. Somehow I feel like I no longer want to share my feeling with you. I'm afraid my feeling will annoyed you. Dear you, sayang... If one day, we really gonna break up. It's okay because I already expecting that. Because I feel like I'm a burden to you. Because at the end of our relationship, I always become your little dirty secret :') but never more than that. I still can't understand why you ask me to be your gf if you can't commit yourself to it. If only we keep going our relationship as TTM (teman tapi mesra), I can forever pretend that I don't have such feeling to you. Pretend not loving you is much better than feeling unwanted like this. Dear you, sayang... I'm sorry. I might give up on you. I'm sorry. I'm not strong enough to fight for my feeling toward you. I feel like if I put a fight, I can't ever win the fight. I'm a loser since the beginning. I'm sorry for loving you when you might not even belongs to me. I'm sorry for being greedy to your warmth. I'm sorry for wanting and desire you. Dear you, sayang... I'm incredibly tired and exhausted from loving you. I'm so sorry that I want to give up my feelings on you. I want to take a rest. Goodnite, sayang.

[edyoungster]

Emotional Wreck During Fever

Today 2nd Ramadhan and I have such huge emotional wreck like the emotion on windy and extreme rollercoaster since the fever kindly visit me last nite. I don't even know why I cried rn. I am super clingy and feel incredibly sad when I actually used to be so tough lady in my daily life. To add on my weird emotional wreck, my boyfie (well, not my ex. The new guy) told me that for today iftar, his mom asked him to go back to iftar together with her friend's family. His mom want to introduce him to her friend's daughter. That super upsetting, doesn't it? Just imagine you got fever and feeling weak all day then your boyfie told you such devasting news. Being me, I was joking to him and said "why not? Perhaps she's your destined one". Yet I feel so hurt inside. After all, his mom doesn't even believe that he have new gf and thought that he still pinned on his ex. In all truth, I feel super insecure today. I really want to give up on him. I don't like this kind of insecure feeling. Each day, I feel so lost and incredibly tired with this kind of uncertainty. I feel I am a burden to him. I don't know why. Perhaps because I feel like I like him more each day while for him, I'm just a convenience. Of course these are just lingering feeling of mine. He told me that today is the third times his mom do such things. Which means his mom already introduce other girls to him twice before. And he didn't even told his mom, he has a gf. So his mom thought he reject to meet the girls because he still pinned on his ex and doesn't want to get married. He rather give excuse that his ex is getting married in next month and he wants to focus on his career. And yeah, not even mentioned his current gf. I'm not blaming his mom for thinking that he still pinned on his ex as he never mentioned even once about me to his mom. I know he want to focus on his career but somehow his action make me think why he ask me to be his gf in the first place? I rather be his friend like before than being a hidden gf like this. I really want to give up on him. This feeling is too suffocating for me. I caught fever today and being super clingy but I try my best to conceal it. But I really want to hear his voice today. No. I'm desperately want to hear his voice and feel his presence beside me. However what await me today make me feel unwanted. At the end of the day, I did cried a lot. Such a crybaby. It's embarrassing for me since I rarely cry just because of this. I used to think I'll be alright even my boyfie is too busy. But then, I realized no matter how tough a girl could be, she is a lady with sensitive feeling and have her own limitations of being tough. And today is my limit. Perhaps it's true that you should find someone who will love you more than you love him. May in this Ramadhan, my love for Muhammad bin Abdullah outgrow my love for him. May my love for Allah outgrow my love for him. It's a sin to love someone who doesn't belong to you. I even know couple is haram for muslim but I'm not a good muslim. That's the biggest weakness of me. I just hoping Allah still have His Mercy for the weak,poor and ungrateful me. :')

[edyoungster]

Dan Brown fan here too!

[edyoungster]

I rarely have my own selfie in my phone. I guess these two are the very first ones in 2019. Some of my friends told me, me with spec and without spec is soon different so here the comparison. Gotta save the pictures as these the only recent pictures of myself that I have for now. The 23++ y/o me.

[edyoungster]

me: gosh i have so much work to do i better get started

my brain: you cannot

me: why

my brain: you are feeling moderately upset, any attempt at productivity is futile

me: i don't see how-

my brain: cannot.

[edyoungster]

Me the whole day. Hahahahaha

enfp talk with someone

someone:what are you doing today?

enfp: i'm going to clean my room,read a book, learn something and cook my dinner

reality: laying in bed and watching tv series

[edyoungster]

Saat kau benar-benar mengharapkan keajaiban untuk mengubah takdir kehidupanmu atau saat kau benar-benar mahukan Dia menunjukkan mu jalan keluar kepada kehendak dan permintaan mu, bangunlah di sepertiga malam. Semoga Tuhanmu mengasihani mu lalu mengabulkan permintaan hati kecil mu. Amin...

[edyoungster]

Saat kau benar-benar mengharapkan keajaiban, maka bangunlah dan dirikan solat dua rakaat di sepertiga malam. Semoga Tuhanmu mengasihani mu dan memberikan jalan keluar yang terbaik untuk kehendak dan permintaan mu. Sesungguhnya Dia lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untukmu dan yakinlah Dia sebaik-baik perancang. ^_^

[edyoungster]

What a nice amalan!

“7 Sunnah Hebat Dalam kehidupan sehari-hari ada kala kita mungkin telah melampaui batas. Imaginasi kotor, percakapan dan perbuatan yang tidak betul menjadikan kita selalunya semakin jauh dengan Allah SWT. Tetapi itulah kita manusia, tak lari dari kesilapan..dan mujurlah Allah selalu membuka pintu taubat kepada kita, agar dapat kita meneruskan perjalanan menuju akhirat dengan lebih berkat. Hendaknya kita sekurang-kurangnya selalu menjaga Tujuh Sunnah Nabi setiap hari. Ketujuh sunnah Nabi SAW itu adalah: Pertama : Tahajjud, kerana kemuliaan seorang mukmin terletak pada tahajjudnya. Pastinya doa mudah termakbul dan menjadikan kita semakin hampir dengan Allah. Kedua : Membaca Al-Qur’an sebelum terbit matahari, alangkah baiknya sebelum mata melihat dunia, sebaiknya mata membaca Al-Qur’an terlebih dahulu dengan penuh pemahaman. Paling tidak jika sesibuk manapun kita, bacalah ayat 3Qul, atau ayat qursi. Ketiga : Jangan tinggalkan masjid terutama di waktu subuh. Sebelum melangkah kemana pun langkahkan kaki ke mesjid, kerana masjid merupakan pusat keberkahan, bukan kerana panggilan muadzin tetapi panggilan Allah yang mencari orang beriman untuk memakmurkan masjid Allah. Keempat : Jaga solat dhuha, kerana kunci rezeki terletak pada solat dhuha. Yakinlah, kesan solat dhuha sangat dasyat dalam mendatangkan rezeki. Kelima : Jaga sedekah setiap hari. Allah menyukai orang yang suka bersedekah, dan malaikat Allah selalu mendoakan kepada orang yang bersedekah setiap hari. Percayalah, sedekah yang diberikan akan dibalas oleh Allah berlipat kali ganda. Keenam : Jaga wudhu’ terus menerus kerana Allah menyayangi hamba yang berwudhu’. Kata khalifah Ali bin Abu Thalib, “Orang yang selalu berwudhu’ senantiasa ia akan merasa selalu solat walau ia sedang tidak solat, dan dijaga oleh malaikat dengan dua doa, ampuni dosa dan sayangi dia ya Allah”. Ketujuh : Amalkan istighfar setiap saat. Dengan istighfar masalah yang terjadi kerana dosa kita akan dijauhkan oleh Allah. Zikir adalah bukti syukur kita kepada Allah. Bila kita kurang bersyukur, maka kita kurang berzikir pula, oleh kerana itu setiap waktu harus selalu ada penghayatan dalam melaksanakan ibadah ritual dan ibadah ajaran Islam lainnya. Zikir juga merupakan makanan rohani yang paling bergizi, dan dengan zikir berbagai kejahatan dapat ditangkal sehingga jauhlah umat manusia dari sifat-sifat yang berpangkal pada materialisme dan hedonisme.”

— (via kakpijah)

For self reminder