eeriesthetic

[eeriesthetic]

Day 11 & 12

Forgot to do this yesterday, but I also took several old boxes out of my room, so I guess the spoons for that had to come from somewhere.

The new head cover works a charm, only trouble is that once it's on, I have to take it off in order to take off/put on my glasses or take an antacid. This morning I did find one medium sized bedbug clinging to the inside of it, but it didn't look like it had fed.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 10

Not really anything new on the bedbug front, just working my way through picking off bugs when I see them, and heating things when I need them.

Spent a good portion of today dipping into content creator streams & helping them meet their goals. Just grateful I've got the means to do so.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 9

I don't know if I can trust the hotbox. The thermometer it came with says it's getting to heat, but when I open it during the process the items don't feel nearly as warm as I would expect them too. I don't know if it's a position issue or what. I spotted a young bedbug on the clothing I put in last night in order to wear this morning once I'd gotten to work; fairly certain it didn't come from what I slept in, as I took those off and put them in the box before even touching anything else.

Honestly, though, I don't seem to be getting bitten, and I'm not seeing adults as often as I had been, so I'm not too terribly concerned. Should be getting more DEET wipes in today, which is good because I have one left to get me through to tomorrow when the new head cover comes in.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 8

The head cover was a massive fail. Could barely see through it, and it squashed my nose. Tried to sleep in it anyhow, thinking maybe I'd get used to it, but after two hours I almost had a panic attack and pulled it off, then spent another ten minutes attempting to open the DEET wipes with my still-gloved hands so I could wipe down my face and go back to sleep. I've ordered another head cover, this one actually meant for what I'm buying it for. I'm just hoping the mesh is small enough to keep out the bedbug nymphs. I also ordered more wipes, just in case. And some long socks & a turtleneck, see if I can't pare down my sleeping attire

Heated two Squishmallows and my pillow, but had to put the pillow back on my bed. At least I felt better. When I stripped down & started putting things into the hotbox, I hung a tshirt I was wearing off the post of one of my shelves; I didn't check it before I did that, and this morning when I went to put it back on, I found a large adult bedbug, so I don't know if it was already there when I hung it, or if now I have to be concerned about infestation across the entire room. Also found a nymph on my skin when I undressed in the morning, so while I don't seem to have any bites, I'm concerned that they're wiggling their way into my clothing still at night. Could just have been from the panicked mid-night outfit adjustment.

Other than still not bringing any new boxes into the room, I haven't made any progress on getting it clear.

[eeriesthetic]

it was easy to talk about technoblade. everyone knows techno. everyone loves techno.

but now it's been a year since tfc died, and... it's still hard to talk about. i didn't watch his content very often, but i do know this: he was an incredible person. he was kind, he was funny, he had one of the best laughs in the world, and he didn't care what others thought of him or his style of content creation. if that doesn't make him an incredible person, i don't know what does.

my absolute favorite memory of tfc is at the beginning of season 9. scar and a few other people were at spawn, and tfc (i think) was underground, and he laughed at something and scared the living daylights out of scar. his laugh was absolutely infectious, and it hurts like a bitch that we don't get to hear it anymore.

it's hard to talk about someone you miss when you didn't know them very well. it took me five tries to write this post without crying. and while it's been a year, if you're still grieving, if you're still processing, take your time. it's okay. we made it through a year. i'm sure he's watching us, wherever he may be, and i can only hope that he's happy, and he's still making people laugh.

rest well, tfc. keep mining. i miss you.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 7

Been doing this for a week now, go me.

I'd almost talked myself into not setting up the hotbox yesterday, rationalizing that it would be best to set it inside the shower stall where it'd both be out of the way and easy to douse if it caught on fire (yay paranoid tendencies), and the stall was still damp. However, I spotted *several* bedbugs on the outfit I'd been wearing for bed, which meant chances were high that there were hidden ones I couldn't see that would be inside the clothes and biting me if I put them on. Even if there weren't, I'd feel phantom crawling all night. So I did a test run with just the two pieces of clothing to see if the hotbox even worked.

It took 15 minutes to heat up to the killing point (110ºC), and I left them in for somewhere between 40 and 50 minutes after that. When I pulled them out they didn't seem as hot as when I pull things out of the dryer in the middle of a cycle, so I wasn't 100% sure they heated properly, but I did spot toasted bedbugs, and it was getting late, so I went ahead and wore them for bed.

Head covers should be in today. My thrice-weekly online meeting starts at 6PM tonight, so I'll be doing that as soon as I get home, but while that is happening I'll put my sleepwear and at least one Squishmallow in the hotbox for a couple of hours. I'll also put the thermometer sensor inside of the clothing, for better accuracy.

[eeriesthetic]

Me: “I got so much done today! I washed my sheets, I put them in the dryer… I’m ready for a well-deserved rest!”

Also me, walking into my bedroom: “where the heck are my sheets?!”

[eeriesthetic]

Day 7

Actually took two empty boxes out of my room when I left for work this morning. Baby steps. And I need to remember to bring batteries home, so I can get the hotbox going.

Had a dream last night, that not only did I find gigantic bedbugs (the size of silver dollars), but people I knew had to access my rooms, and see the states they were in. So I guess it was more of a nightmare than a dream.

Today I'll be getting some earwash, hopefully it'll finally get rid of the excess buildup I've got. The microcamera I got a couple weeks ago helped me pull out two large chunks from my right ear, but the left is too sensitive to get the camera in, so I can't see what I'm working with over there.

Tomorrow, masks, jogging pants, and styluses in the mail, so that I can be fully suited up in bed even if I'm not going to sleep immediately.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 6

Took a shower, another huge step that's nothing for neurotypical people. Can't run the heatbox because it needs a battery for the temperature gauge; I'll have to pick one up at work tomorrow.

Been seeing lots of little bed bugs, but very few big ones. I'm hoping this means I've at least got the infestation at a standstill. Face masks should be here Tuesday, so just two more nights (tonight & tomorrow) of DEETing my face. Looking forward to when that's over, I've been waking up with a worse headache than usual.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 5

Turned out the beekeeper face mask had large mesh on it, which shouldn't have surprised me. The gloves, however, worked perfectly. Now I only have to DEET my face at night. Put in an order for a full head mask, one of those stretchy ones like a green man suit. If I can at least sleep soundly at night, I should be able to get the energy together to actually do something about these bugs.

I've seen more bugs emerging outside of night hours, which I hope means they're starting to starve.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 4

While nothing came out of the room, no new boxes came in, either. Got the protective suit, steamer, etc., am expecting the hotbox tomorrow. Unboxed everything & took just the items inside, which is honestly a big step for me.

Hopefully the suit works.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 3

Routine got thrown off yesterday, one of my housemates was home an hour earlier than he usually gets there, which meant I would have had to walk past him multiple times in order to complete the box/bag plan. I think the thing I hate the most about my mental illness is that I'm well enough to know *why* I feel the way I do about things, and *what* I need to do to get my life on track, but attempting to implement the *how* reduces my brain to panic and static, so I fall back to the same old routines, just to get the gremlins to stop scampering.

Ordered the heater bag. Last night during my gaming session I noticed multiple bugs on/near my desk. I really need to get this under control. I'm back to feeling phantom crawling constantly, just like the last infestation 8 years ago.

Wish I could order spoons.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 2.5

Ordered a few more things to help get me through the de-infestation process. Still haven't bitten the bullet on getting the hotbox, though, that one is almost $200. Got some double-sided tape (to wrap around the legs of my bed for bug-catching purposes) and a beekeeper's suit. Yeah, a beekeeper's suit. It'll be better than wearing socks/sweatpants/hoodie with everything tucked in, hairties around my wrists to keep the sleeves closed, and wiping all exposed parts of my skin down with DEET wipes, which is what I've been doing for the last four or five nights.

Two boxes. One trash bag. Tonight.

[eeriesthetic]

Day 2

Took out a loan earlier this week to try to push myself to get things rolling. Guess that actually makes this Day 3, if the loan came through Monday & I started taking steps then? Put 20% of it aside for emergency funds, paid off a couple of cards, paid part of what I took out of some savings back.

Really trying to deal with the mild infestation in my room now, but man, spoons ain't there. Ordered heavy duty trash bags to put things into once they're treated, a hand-held steamer to get in the cracks of my furniture, and plan on getting a hotbox so that I don't have to make the trip to the laundry room just to run things through the dryer.

Today's goal: Just empty two cardboard boxes & take them out with a bag of trash. That's all. Should be manageable.

[eeriesthetic]

First time for everything, I suppose. Perhaps this will give me the incentive to keep up with what I need to keep up with.

Task 1 - Do something about these pests in my room.