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theres this chinese girl in my class who isnt very fluent in english and she asked me if i have a boyfriend and i was like “i dont. i dont like. boys” and she nodded very wisely and went “ah. cooties”

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peak cooking competition humor is when a contestant doesn’t know where or what something is and the camera just slowly zooms in on it

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some customers: oh my god i’m so sorry i have to ask you a question i feel so foolish for not knowing this already please help me but i’m so sorry forgive me other customers: answer this question before i’ve even asked it or i’ll kill you where you stand 

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jk rowling’s at it again

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✞✞✞

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Otter teaches human how to pet him.

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Is there rly any softer scene than when o'malley sees duchess and falls in love with her at first sight in the aristocats, complimenting her at every turn and climbing into a cherry blossom tree to make the flower petals snow gracefully down on her? How dreamy 🥀💕

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my mom’s getting too into the meme game

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