eileenprideprince

[eileenprideprince]

Harry, entering the dungeons: I just had a thought.

Snape: Congratulations...

[eileenprideprince]

Severus: what did you do?

Harry: okay, but you can't be mad at me

Severus: what did you do?

Harry: okay, first. I was minding my own business—

Severus: BULLSHIT!

Harry: I WAS!!

[eileenprideprince]

McGonagall: I saw two of the students, Snape and Black, hugging.

McGonagall: And then I realized they were choking each other and I was like, okay, that makes more sense.

[eileenprideprince]

Severus: I feel a strange emotion towards you

Umbridge: Respect?

Severus: Never

[eileenprideprince]

McGonagall: Why do you like being out in the rain?

Dumbledore: I like splashing in the puddles and rain is just fun.

Snape: I’m trying to get hit by lightning.

[eileenprideprince]

can people please reblog this if they’re a harry potter account/snape fan account or something, my dash is like barren and I know it’s bc JKR is a terrible person but i’m dying over here LOL. when i was in college there was so much shit every day and i miss it

[eileenprideprince]

Neville sounding frantic: Headmaster, headmaster, Professor Snape stormed out of the room mid class and said he quits!

Dumbledore: He does that every Monday

[eileenprideprince]

Severus: how do I tell Lockhart I want to hit him with a chair?

Lucius: don’t tell him. Just do it

[eileenprideprince]

Severus: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. Black supposed to be MY thing, they’re all just a bunch of posers.

McGonagall: Severus, for the last time, this is a funeral.

[eileenprideprince]

Actually cryyyying ;-;

Panic in the Halls

Dad!Snape comforts his child during a panic attack

tws: bullying, panic attack

i’m sad and needed comfort LOL

You kept your head down as you walked through the halls to your next class. Your father had, apparently, given out a graded test and many students were very unhappy with their grades. They all feared retaliation against your father, but you? You were small, weak, Snape’s child, you should be able to make him happier. Less miserable, so he would be nicer to everyone else.

You walked with your head down, trying to stay unseen by the other students walking in the hall. Nothing could stop them though. You felt someone shove you into the wall, blocking you in so you couldn’t leave.

“Hey, Snape. Where do you think you’re going?” They asked, hands up on the wall on either side of you. His friends stood around him, further blocking any escape routes you might be able to take.

“To-to class,” you muttered quietly. You tugged your books closer to your chest trying to make yourself look even smaller. Your eyes stayed focused on the bully’s tie. He was a Gryffindor.

“I need you to do me a favor, yeah?” He inched his face closer to yours, breath hot on your cheek. Your chest tightened and you tried to turn away, but he moved his hand, grabbing a chunk of hair in his hand to keep you from moving at all.

A whimper left your lips as he continued. “Go talk to your Daddy for me. Tell him I need that Dreadful turned into an Outstanding. I’m failing, I need that grade to come up.”

You nodded your head the best you could. The bully pulled at your hair, craning your neck up to look him in the eyes. “I need you to promise me. With your words. And look me in the eyes when you do it so I know you’re not lying.”

Tears filled your eyes from the pain in your head, but you were sure the sheer embarrassment of this scene was part of it too. “Y-yes. I’ll talk to him-“

“They’re crying.” Said his friend to your right. She laughed, covering her mouth, then gasped as if she suddenly had a thought. “Oh, Daniel, this probably reminds them of their father, let go of their hair!”

(Now that he was named,) Daniel only tightened his grip on your hair. “Ah!” You yelped, “My-my father loves me, he would never-“

“Your father couldn’t love you if he tried,” Daniel spat. “Kids are meant to make their parents happy. You seem to be doing a real pathetic job at it.”

Your lip quivered at the thought. It was only luck that the same girl tapped Daniel’s shoulder, “We’ll be late to transfiguration. Let’s go.”

Daniel quirked an eyebrow and, quite literally, spat on you before releasing your hair just to shove you and your books down to the ground.

As the entourage left a sob escaped you. Your chest felt the tightest it had ever been as you noticed that the last few students rushing to their classrooms were staring at you while they passed.

You tried to reach for your books and your bag but your hands were shaking too bad. You wrapped your arms around yourself to try and keep your hands still. It became difficult to breath so you attempted gulps of air but even then it didn’t feel like enough.

Your vision was blurry from tears and maybe from the constant gasping, but you could see someone rush over. “Y/N?” It was Draco Malfoy’s voice. “What happened? Wait here, I’ll get Professor Snape.”

Draco left his things and ran as fast as he could to the dungeons and into Snape’s potions classroom. Of course, it annoyed Snape at first. “Mister Malfoy, you dare disturb my-“

“It’s Y/N,” Draco panted. “Hurry.”

Your father quickly ordered the students in the room to stay out or he’d see to it they had detention for the rest of the year and then followed Draco, nearly at a jog.

The moment he saw the state you were in his heart dropped. Like Draco, he kneeled beside you. “What happened, Draco?” When Draco didn’t answer, he snapped, “DRACO!”

“I-I don’t know!” Draco stammered.

What could only be described as a wail came out of you as you grabbed onto your father’s cloak. You were still breathing, or rather trying to breathe, through gasps. Your head pounded now as well.

You squeezed your eyes shut, “Pa-Papa. Feels…L-like I’m dy-y-dying.”

Snape sat down next to you, pulling your body into his lap as he wrapped his arms around you. It was an attempt to ground you, to calm you down.

“Listen to my voice,” he spoke gently. “I’m here now, darling. Shh…”

Draco had slipped away at this point, leaving the two of you alone. You grasped a fistful of your father’s robes, eyes still shut tightly as he spoke to you in a hushed voice.

“Will you open your eyes for me?” Snape whispered. You felt him gently brush your hair, “Can you tell me 5 things that you see?”

You slowly opened your eyes, wincing back a bit when the light hit them. Your vision seemed better now yet you felt dizzy. You tried your best to spot things to list off, “Books…Draco’s bag, my wand, my bag…” You glanced down and saw a tiny spider scuttling along the floor so you reached a shaky hand down and let him crawl onto your palm. “And a spider.”

“Good,” Snape placed a kiss on the very top of your head, “4 things you can feel?”

You hiccuped softly and your lip quivered again, “I can feel where he pulled my hair. It doesn’t feel very nice.”

You heard your father’s breath catch in his throat. He was angry, you knew. Angry that anyone would try to hurt his child. “What else can you feel, darling?”

“Your robes,” you said as you grasped them tighter. You let the spider in your hand go, “I don’t want to do this anymore,” you whispered.

“Severus?” Draco had brought Madame Pomfrey to the two of you. When you opened your eyes again you saw the potion in her hands.

“Draught of peace,” you muttered. Your father smiled a bit, “Very good. Here, love, take it.”

You shifted into a better position and took the offered potion from Madame Pomfrey, whispering a thank you after it was all down. She smiles in reply, gave Snape a soft nod and left without another word.

“Get to class, Draco,” Snape said quietly, “I will write to your Professor. And Draco? Thank you.”

Draco nodded and picked up his things, giving a gentle and affectionate kick to your shoe. “Feel better, Y/N. I’ll come see you later.”

Snape waited for Draco to be out of sight before he spoke to you again. “I’m sorry,” he said, “So sorry I wasn’t here. I’ll make it up to you, dearest. I promise. We should get you into bed.”

He shifted you out of his lap, only so he could stand up and help you too. He carried all of your books and your bag in one arm, the other arm was busy holding you close and guiding you along the halls.

When you reached Snape’s chambers, he tucked you tightly into his bed. There was pure sadness in his eyes, sadness and worry. He leaned down and placed another kiss on your forehead this time.

“I love you. I’ll be back after classes. Just rest for me. I love you.”

And you didn’t doubt it for a second.

[eileenprideprince]

Do you have any headcanons for Snape as a dad?

DAD SNAPE MY BELOVED <3

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Masterlist

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Snape would be a very protective dad and teach his child the best defensive spells out there

He'd also teach them his favorite potions to make and even show them how to create their own potions

Snape would buy his child the nicest clothes so they wouldn't face the bullying he did due to his clothing

Snape + bedtime stories = free therapy

He'd read his child to sleep and cuddle them while doing so, playing with their hair and kissing their forehead lovingly

The last thing Snape wants to become is his father; instead of yelling at and hitting his child, he'd use gentle yet effective discipline techniques

If his child did something bad, Snape would sit down and have a calm talk with them about why it was bad, instead of just flat out punishing them without a second thought

If someone ever dared to bully his child, Snape would be ready to defend his child and comfort them

He wants to give his child the love he never had growing up, and does his best to be as present as he can for them, both emotionally and physically

If his child ever came out to him, he'd give them the utmost unconditional acceptance and always remember to use their preferred name/pronouns

Snape would prefer that his child be sorted into Slytherin when they were old enough to attend Hogwarts, yet he didn't mind if they were sorted into another House

If they were sorted into Gryffindor, however, Snape would tease them playfully about it

Snape would also buy his child their own little cloak bc why not? They'd match <3

[eileenprideprince]

Severus Snape is a girl dad

[eileenprideprince]

We all agree that Snape is a girl dad. That’s a fact.

But imagine him watching a little boy grow up to look exactly like him. Same hair, same nose, same pale skin.

He would finally, once and for all, learn to love all those features the marauders made him hate so much.

[eileenprideprince]

Shit Slytherins Say: #138

Gryffindor: “My head hurts”

Slytherin: “That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity”

[eileenprideprince]

harry: how dare you stand where he stood?

severus: dumbledore's ancient ass has stood everywhere in this damn school. what do you want me to do? float?

[eileenprideprince]

severus: i’m glad the week is over

minerva: severus it’s tuesday

[eileenprideprince]

Bartender: Why are you drinking?

Severus: Children.

Bartender: How many?

Severus: 26.

Bartender: O_o

Severus: Teacher