einayim

[einayim]

youre never alone. bacteria

[einayim]

Eric Ravilious

[einayim]

sorry it really is so fucked up that one of the best preserved artifacts from the cannibalism expedition is a preserved slab of corn beef from the botulism lead poison canned food. i cant believe we have that

[einayim]

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

[einayim]

The third one looks cool

[einayim]

can i say something

[einayim]

Satire requires being funny and good lest it be unfunny and bad

[einayim]

I wanna look at him forever

[einayim]

Select works of Gérard Trignac, a French artist known for grand and fantastic architectural landscapes.

[einayim]

Stop pussy footing around it. Are you coming to my Chinese giant salamander's bar mitzvah or not

[einayim]

I have very strong opinions on this subject, and I'm curious how others feel.

[einayim]

db cooper got isekai’d by the plane and hes in the elf world now with all the money and parachutes he stole

[einayim]

rb to protect prev from burnout

[einayim]

[einayim]

Incredible headline from Dion Lefler of the Wichita Eagle, but also, he’s right:

Traffic deaths of pedestrians are up by 70% in the last 10 years and pickup trucks are largely to blame, according to a story from The Hill that we ran this week. The number of walkers killed by “light utility trucks” rose from 732 in 2010 to 1,773 in 2021. The reasons are obvious. Pickup trucks have long since ceased to be the single-bench-seat, utilitarian work vehicles of my youth, and morphed into monsters. It used to be rare to see a large four-door pickup. Now, it’s practically impossible to buy anything else. To make them look brawnier, manufacturers raised suspensions and put huge grilles on the front. The hoods are so hard to see over that one congressman has proposed requiring new trucks to have forward-facing cameras and sensors to reduce “frontover” accidents, which is running over people or things you can’t see through the windshield. There’s a better way: smaller trucks.

They exist. We just can’t buy them. Many’s the time I’ve turned on the nightly news and seen Taliban or ISIS militants tooling around in mini-trucks, mostly Toyotas, with machine guns bolted to the bed “Rat Patrol” style. Every time I see that, I say to myself (or anyone unlucky enough to be in earshot) “There, that’s the truck I want” — minus the machine gun, which I’d only need if I were driving Kris Kobach in a parade. But we can’t get those trucks here because of two reasons: profits and politics. Profits, because car manufacturers make way more per unit selling jumbo trucks. And politics because of an antiquated trade policy levying a 25% tariff on imported light trucks, in retaliation for a European tariff on U.S. chicken. Mini-trucks — mostly Toyotas, but also Ford Couriers and Chevy Luvs — were once ubiquitous on the streets and freeways of southern California, where I lived from the late 1970s to the late 1990s.

The first vehicle my wife and I ever bought together was a 1989 Chevy S-10 pickup, and we’d probably still have it if we hadn’t been blessed with twins and needed space for two car seats. It was a simple, nimble, reliable and comfortable two-person truck. From the time we got it, my wife used it regularly to bring home furniture to replace the mismatched mishmash I had brought into our marriage. I once transported enough salvaged solid oak hardwood flooring to redo our entire kitchen. The S-10’s curb weight was 2,700 pounds. It wasn’t the smallest truck on the road then, but today it would look like a mackerel swimming with a pod of killer whales. The Ford F-150, America’s most popular automobile according to Car and Driver, weighs in between 4,000 and 5,700 pounds, depending on options. The real heavyweights are 8,000 pounds and up. Their high-rise suspensions and oversize tires could get you through the Baja 500, but are way more than overkill for the annual trip to Lowe’s to buy mulch. According to an Axios study, shopping and errands are the No. 1 use of pickups, with 87% of owners reporting they do that frequently. Second was pleasure driving, 70%, and third, commuting, 42%. Only 28% said they frequently use their trucks for personal hauling, and towing was a piddling 7%. That same study showed that in 1985, mini-trucks were slightly more than a quarter of all pickups sold. By 2010, that had dropped to zero, and full-size trucks had over 90% of the market. That’s tapered off slightly with mid-size trucks picking up more market share, but the smallest pickup you can buy today, the Ford Maverick, is still a needlessly beefy 3,500 pounds — 800 more than my trusty S-10.

So if you want to try to make a dent in traffic fatalities, gasoline usage and global warming, call or write your congressperson and ask them to repeal the Chicken Tax. That’s not as far-fetched as it sounds. U.S. trade negotiators made a deal in 2011 to allow Korean light-truck imports by 2021, but President Donald Trump, a big fan of trade wars, pushed that back to 2041. Ditching the Chicken Tax might break the big-truck stranglehold on the market. If smaller import trucks sell, as I suspect they would, our domestic manufacturers might be led to retool and compete. And then, when it comes to buying a pickup truck, we might once again be as free as the Taliban.

[einayim]

In this big world is there a place for someone as little as me?

[einayim]