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einfachnurtodd · 4 years
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American Horror Story: Hotel
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einfachnurtodd · 4 years
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Ich werde krank.
Es macht mich krank denn Geruch von Essen zu reichen oder zu hören wie Menschen essen. Ich sitze vor meinem Teller und Ekel mich davor was zu essen... Ich weiß nicht was los ist mit Morin letzter Zeit... Ich habe kein Hunger mehr bzw kein Gefühl mehr was essen zu müssen....
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einfachnurtodd · 4 years
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CALL ME JOKER *Erotic Arthur short fiction*
Arthur Fleck and female reader
Arthur dressing up as Joker for you ;)
I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Sex
Lips so softly pressed against your forehead.
You woke up from a dream you barely remember. Everything is blurry. Even now, as your eyes are open.
“Wake up, my love” Arthurs soft voice whispering in your ear.
He lighted a cigarette, handing you a cup of coffee.
“Good morning, Arthur!”
You took a sip while looking at the man you loved so much.
His messy hair, still in his Pjs, humming.
You couldnt remember the last time you slept so tight. Having his arms around you at night made you feel save. Like the rest of the world couldnt hurt you anymore. It was just him and you in his small apartment, which felt like home.
His body also felt like home.  You loved the way he pressed himself against you at night. Like he never wanted to let you go.
He was a very sweet lover which payed much attention to you and your body. You felt like he was just as obsessed with you like you were with him. Which was a magical combination. You just couldnt get enough of him. Everything about him turned you on in a way you never experienced it before.
Everytime you left the apartment you couldnt help but think about what you wanted to do with him as soon as you will be home. He didnt had much experience with woman, the only experience he has was with you. He was so hungry for love and attention. He longed for your hands to touch him where he has never been touched before. He longed for your body to take him in compleately. He wanted to stay inside of you forever.
Thats what he said and you felt it.
Everytime his body left yours again it felt like something was missing.
Sleeping with Arthur wasnt just sex. It was an experience on a higher level.
“(YN), what are you thinking about?”
His voice pulled you out of your daydreams. You felt the blood rushing to your cheeks.
“I was thinking bout you, Arthur?”
He sat down on the corner of the bed , brushing his hair back “Oh yeah? What thoughts?”
You smiled. He was so beautiful.
“I thought about how good it feels sleeping with you”
Arthur smirked “You know…. I have a surprise for you actually”
“You do?”
“Sure. Wanna see it?” his smirk grew wilder.
“Of course. What is it?”
Arthur headed to the bathroom “Just give me 20 minutes, my love. I know you`re going to like it”. He closed the door as he started to sing Thats life by Frank Sinatra.
You were still lying in bed with my coffe and wondered about what the surprise might be.
You put the cup aside and crawled under the blankets again, looking at the photo of Arthur and you which was standing beside the bed. He was smilig but his green eyes still looked kinda sad. The picture was taken when you first met and you noticed that now he didnt smiled with his mouth only. His eyes brightened up a lot,too. He was in a very dark place mentally and I tried my best to make sure he knows how much i loved him. Your love for him was truly unconditionally. You would throw myself off a cliff to protect him. And he must be protected. Arthur was so vulnerable.
You could hear him getting read in the bathroom. Maybe he planned to go out on a date with you.
You thought about him last night. You on top of his body, kissing him till he ran out of breath. Tasting his hunger for you. Just the thought of him made you wild. You closed my eyes and touched yourself while imagin him naked in the bathroom right now.
“Just a second, I will be right back”
You pulled your hand out off your slip as you heard his voice coming out of the bathroom.
You felt kinda caught in the act.
Five minutes later he came out of the bathroom. You barely recognized him the first second.
He wore an elegant red suit with an yellow vest and a green shirt underneath. He wore simple but pretty intense clown make up. His face white as snow, blue around his eyes and a big, red painted on smile, which made his smirk look even wilder.
He told you he was working as a party clown but the working outfit you saw hanging in his living room looked compleately different from what he was wearing now. Slick back, green hair. A confident look on his face.
“Arthur?….Wow…I dont know what to say you look… different.”
He made his way up to you. His whole body language seemed to have changed dramaticlly.
The way he walked, he held his head up hight, seemed to be a total different person.
“You like it, huh?” his eyes were focused on you. “I knew you would, sweetheart”
You tried to catch my breath. There was something intimidating about him now, which you have never seen on Arthur before.
But somehow you got really turned on by the way he moved and talked.
He came closer.
“I….Arthur..yeah…I think I really do like it” You kept staring at his painted face.
You never thought clown make up could be so incredibly beautiful and sexy. His facial expression was still as sexy and detailed as without make up, only much more confident.
“Arthur…” he repeated. “Well….” he lighted another cigartette “ Let me intruduce you to Joker now”
You couldnt say anything. His appearance was breathtaking and left you a mess.
He started dancing across the room, the cig still in his red painted mouth. There was no music, he was humming, dancing to themusic inside his head. His hands gracefully above his head, his skiny legs dancing like there was no worry on his mind.
You were fascinated by him. He turned you on so much you felt the urge to touch yourself again.
Your hand wandering between your legs. He noticed.
“Oh” he stopped dancing, still making some littel steps.
“I think I can help you with that”
You blushed.
“Arthur?”
Oh how you wished he would just take you now.
“Joker!” he said with a voice that was stronger than usual.
He came closer, little sexy dance moves before he put down his cig and smiled at you, one hand on his small waist. “This is going to be one hell of a ride, my love”.
You swallowed hard. You never saw him like this before. You loved his shyness over anything but you couldnt deny that you wanted the man who was in front of you. You knew it was still your sweet, little Arthur after all. Even though it wasnt very belivable at the moment.
He crawled up on the bed. Slowly. His body language reminded you of a wild cat which was about to get its prey. The smirk stayed on his face. Not only the painted on one. You can tell he was smirking just as intenes underneath all the make up. He ripped the blanket of off you. His face right above yours. Cigatette breath.
He was so close now you could see every pore under his make up, your eyes focused on the parts where the blue melted into the white. Then switched to his lips.
Oh how much you wanted him to kiss you with those red lips.
You felt like you were shaking with your whole body.
“Take your clothes off” his voice so sweet but with a dangerous undertone beneath your burning ears.
You were so hypnotized by those piercing, green eyes that you couldnt even move.
So he took your shirt off.
It was Arthurs gentle hands doing it. Which reminded you that its still him.
“Now the rest of your clothes” his hands …on your hip to get your slip off.
You were already wet and he noticed right away when he gently put his hand between your legs, let it slide along your slit. He grinned “I see you really like Joker, huh?”
You couldnt really say anything. The situation was overwhelming. He never made the first step before. Usually it was you. Evene when it came to kisses. But you guessed it was different with Joker now.
He took back his hand again, running it through his bright, green hair. You noticed green stains of hair dye all over his fingers and shoulders. He closed his eyes for a moment. Like he was thinking abou something very important. You had a thing for his long, eyelashes. They were white now and looked even longer than usual. You wishhe hadnt  pulled his hand away. But he enjoyed teasing you.
He opened his eyes again.
“(YN) You love me right?”
You tried to  sound calm “You know I do”
“You`re mine now”
“I… I am all yours”
He started to caress your legs, you could feel his green curls on your inner thighs as his head sunk between your legs.
Still, gentle Arthur hands on your skin, only with more confidence.
You wanted to close your eyes but you couldnt stop staring at his painted face between your legs. You wanted him to press it against you.
“I am. All yours. Please just take me! Make me a mess!”
You could see his face looking up to you, smirking, right before his face was buried between your thighs again. He startet to give you little, soft kisses  right on your sensitive parts, slowly. Teasing. Your legs begin to vibrate already. You couldnt wait for him to use his tongue.
And just as you wished, he did.
His tongue made small circles around your clit, giving you waves of excitement, which you felt all through your body.
You thought about Arthur and how much you loved him and that this confident man between your legs was him. Everything he did was for you.
His lips started to suck gently.
You finally closed yor eyes and imagined all the make up on his face. The thought of his make up all over between your legs and the sheets turned you on.
“Oh Arthur” you moaned “Don`t stop.”
One of his hands wandered above your hips, the other one holding your thigh, pressing softly against it. You loved the way he touched you. Like he really meant it. Like there was nothing else in the world he wanted to touch more.
He looked up on you. You looked at him. Your eyes met.
There was an intense look of dizzyness in his eyes.
“Tell me you will never leave me” he said.
“I could never leave you. i`m all yours!”
The red smile on his face lost its contures. It was a big, red mess. “You are evrything I ever dreamed of (YN). And its dirty dreams most of the time ”
He made his way down again and you could feel his tongue inside of you. His face pressed hard against you now. You moved , trying to get him even closer.  His hands finding their way to your buttcheeks. He kissed you like he did when you french kissed each other. Only down under. His soft lip on your insides. Like velvet.
You held his head in your hands. Looked down on the green curls moving, listening to his breath which got heavier, just as yours. You focused on the soft curls between your now slightly green fingers and his gentle kisses. It was the sexiest moment you ever experienced in your life up until now.
Then he stopped,
“Ohhhh” you managed to breathe “Wow.. that was just..” he layed one finger upon your lips “Shhhhttt..I am just about to start” His smirk almost undefinable now that most of the make up was smeard up on you.
“What are you gonna do with me now?”
Arthur unzipped his pants.
You realized that he was about to fuck you in his suit, which turned you on in ways you couldnt even tell.
“"I`m gonna love you now (YN). I´m gonna love you HARD!”
He pulled his hard cock out of his red pants and pressed it against you.
You never saw this kinda face expression on him before. He was compleately up in the clouds.
You could feel him hard against your wet crotch.
One of your hands touched his face right where all the colors meltet into each other.
“I can`t promise it won`t hurt a little”
You screamed a silent sound when he pushed himself into you with such excitement and lust he looked like he waited for this his whole life.
“I dont mind. Let me feel you all the way.”
“I will…. I will (YN)” he moaned, his breath hot against your face.
He started to move inside you.
“Do whatever you want, Arthur!”
He made  his way all the way inside “Call me Joker!”
“Fuck me harder, Joker! I want you to tear my insides apart!”
Your hands touched the fabric of his suit, you tried to get a closer look on it. The yellow vest underneath. The green.
Joker pushed you hard against the sheets, his face buried in your neck, his curls tickeling your cheek. You smelled his hair.
His hands wandered all over your body, caressing your breasts, you hips. Sometimes harder to the touch. But still gentle.
Feeling his lust for you was everything. The movement inside you felt so intense, it was hard to bear. it was just too much.
Suddely he leaned back, still inside you and closed his eyes. The kinda look on his face he had when he was dancing.  Compleately in the moment but in his own headspace.
The look on his face turned you on even more. It felt like your mind drifted away into a total different time and space.
Feeling him hard inside your guts, seeing his face which seemed to be in some kinda delirium was unbelivable erotic.
You tried to push your pelvis even more in his direction but he already pinned you down so hard you could barely move.
Even though he didnt weight much, he was light as a feather actually, you felt the weight of his body against yours. You couldnt get enough of touching his painted face. Being fascinated by how soft it felt to the touch. The little wrinkles beneath his eyes more visible with the white on.
His lip scar less visible. Which was bothering you for a second.
“Kiss me” you begged “Please Joker, Make my face a red mess”.
Arthur opened his eyes. You kinda pulled him out of his daydream, but he was back and leaning towards you now, pressing his big smile on your lips. His tongue finding yours. He kissed you with such a passion, it was hard to catch your breath anymore. Your fingers grabbed the red suit. He was compleately dressed up. Even with his shoes on. The only naked part was his warm cock, which was buried inside of you. Pleasing you in a way you didnt even knew existed.
As the kiss was done he let his eyes wander across your face “You look like Mrs. Joker now” making his way in and out of you.
Mrs Joker. You loved the way he said it. You were truly his.
His breathing grew ragged as he noticed that you drifted away in another state of mind minutes ago. his green eyes alight when you begged him to come closer, even though the both of you knew it was impossible to get closer than that.
Body and mind already melted into one another. It was hard to tell which thought or move belonged to whom.
The only thing between you and him was the red suit.
That damn sexy red suit.
But you didnt wanted him to take it off.
It was his second skin for now. Jokers skin.
A groan tumbled through his lips as his fingers brushed the hair out of your face.
He started kissing your neck, biting it, gently pushing you deeper into the sheets. You enjoyed the pain as your skin started bruising. You wanted to feel him everywhere. In every corner of your body, your mind.
And you did. he was all over you. You searched for his lips and kissed him with all the love you had for him, as he contunied to thrusting himself deeper inside of you. Your hips moved to welcome every one of his movements. Your whole body tensing up now, shaking from the waves of lust he gave you.
You could tell from the way he was breathing that he was about to cum. His face expression somewhere between pain and bliss. Mostly bliss.
“(YN) I love you” he whimpered. “So much”
You felt the heath floathing you.
Your body exploded from lust as you felt his warm seed filling your insides.
Your could swear that he could hear your heart beating.
As you both stopped shaking, He pulled himself out of you, just to sink right into your arms.
Your arms welcomed him like he has never been somewhere else.
His eyes stil not back in reality.
He crawled up, layed his head into your lap, which had face paint all over.
His make up started to come off.
Traces of Arthur.
“Mmhhhmmm” he whispered “ a shy smile on his face. Not the wild smirk he wore just minutes before.
"You know what (YN)?”
“What Artie?”
“You are my home!”
You watched him as he snoozed off.
And you never felt more bliss in your whole life.
Arthur was back.
And he was right there with you,
In his red suit.
@impulsiveclown @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @jokerhoe @gwynplaine89 @damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle @ithinkimawriter @duhliriouss @sadjesterautumn @therealjokerking10 @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes @downtoclown-around @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie @jokerflecker @casiaregina @check-out-this-joker @mrsjfleck @darknessisafriend @bring-your-holy-water @nicoleverse @mdme-rosary @arthurhappyclown @yami-rhs @mrsjfleck @cmollica @mollyxlyla-rosex @widkkfowpqpsnanq @rhokie @neon-umbrella-for-stella @queenie70 @casiaregina @missmayx​
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einfachnurtodd · 4 years
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einfachnurtodd · 4 years
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einfachnurtodd · 4 years
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Ich habe mein altes ich verloren leider.. Ich würde einiges dafür geben wieder so zu leben und so zu sein wie früher . Einfach auf alles ein fick zu geben und das leben zu leben egal was passiert..  Es war alles unbeschwert ich konnte frei sein ich konnte ich sein... Aber wie eine gute freundin mal sage (irgendwie ist es schon Ironie das es jetzt so ist wie es ist) das leben hat mich eingeholt schneller als mir lieb war.. Ich hätte gerne noch länger so gelebt, ich hätte gerne länger scheiße gebaut, ich hätte gerne länger frei gelebt und wäre gerne länger frei gewesen...  Was nun aus meinem Leben geworden ist, ist auf jedenfall beschissen und ich hasse es.. Ich hab keine Lust mehr auf dieses Tröde langweilige Leben.. Ich möchte wieder frei sein ich möchte endlich wieder leben können...
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einfachnurtodd · 5 years
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einfachnurtodd · 5 years
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A RATS CONCEPT OF LOVE//
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einfachnurtodd · 5 years
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einfachnurtodd · 5 years
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Es beginnt.
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einfachnurtodd · 5 years
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Ich bin wieder traurig und versinke in meinen Depression und weiß nicht mehr was ist.. Was ist mit mir die letzten Jahre passiert? Ich war so glücklich und hatte Spaß am Leben wo ist das hin?. Ich hab oft mal keine Antwort auf die einfachsten Fragen, ich bin nicht mehr ich.. ich fühle mich nicht mehr wohl in meinem Körper, ich möchte ihn Verlassen und nie mehr zurück.. Es ist Schmerzhaft hier zu sein und an das zu denken was war und was ich verloren habe. Wie eins mal eine gute Freundin gesagt hat( irgendwie ist es schon Ironie das es jetzt so ist wie es ist), ich finde es traurig mein leben da zu sehen wo es jetzt ist... Ich wollte nie so Werden, ich hab alles versucht damit es nicht so wird aber es ist so geschehen und jetzt ist es leider so... Wie es ist und was passiert ist fragt ihr euch, ich erzähle es euch. Ich habe immer versucht nie im Depression und selbst hass zu versinken aber es ist doch passiert und ich habe mir dabei zu geschaut wie sich dieser Mantel um mich herum gelegt hat und angefangen hat mich aufzulösen...
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einfachnurtodd · 5 years
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Vater du fehlst mir und ich muss dir was sagen
Kapitel: I
Oh Franz du fehlst mir, es fühlt sich immer noch alles so unwirklich an... Der Tag wo dein menschlicher Körper aufgehört hat zu arbeiten und umgekippt ist bei dem was die Seele geliebt hat... Aber deine Seele sie ist immer noch hier und arbeitet an dem Vermächtnis weiter was du errichtet hast... Ich kann das nicht Akzeptieren das du weg bist es fällt mir einfach zu schwer... Du warst fast mein komplettes Leben an meiner Seite... Ich danke dir für jeden tag denn du da warst und mir Ratschläge geben Hast wie ich was im Leben erreichen kann... Ich hatte noch so viele Fragen an dich. ich wollte noch Mehr aus deinem Leben erfahren,was du er lebt hast und was du durch gemacht hast...
Kapitel:II Die Illusion.
Wie konnte ich mir das einbilden das du da gesessen hast und mit mir gesprochen hast?...
Wie kann das passiert sein das ich mir das einbilde? War es nur ein Streich meines Unterbewusstseins? Nein kann es nicht gewesen sein er war da! Ich habe ihn gesehen ich habe ihn berührt!!! Er war am Leben in diesem Augenblick, Er saß vor mir er hat mir in die Augen geschaut und mir gesagt (Jung mach was aus deinem Leben aber mach das was dich glücklich Macht und du dich wohlfühlst)... Nein auf kein Fall kann ich mir das eingebildet haben... Dafür war es alles zu Real und hat sich zu echt angefühlt..
Kapitel IV
ich weiß nicht mehr was ich tun soll, ich weiß nicht mehr was in meinem Kopf los ist, ich weiß nicht mehr womit ich zurecht komme, ich weiß nicht mehr was mein Leben mir bringen soll. seitdem du hier von uns gegangen bist ist die Welt eine andere geworden sie ist so leer und trostlos das Leben zieht an mir vorbei und ich kann nichts dagegen unternehmen die Nachricht dass du gestorben bist war ein Schock für mich ich kann das immer noch nicht wirklich wahrhaben was da passiert ist aber du bist trotzdem weg und es schmerzt es ist ein Schmerz den man sich nicht vorstellen kann, na klar der Mensch der kommt und geht man sollte sich nie an jemanden binden oder festhalten wo man weiß dass er sterben wird und ich habe trotzdem diese Fehler getan ich habe Zu ihm auf geblickt was nicht falsch war aber es war nicht richtig ich hätte mich um mein Leben kümmern sollte wo ich noch die Zeit zu hatte jetzt ist es zu spät ich habe es versaut ich habe es verkackt. man sollte nie so über sein Leben reden das ist mir bewusst aber was anderes habe ich nie getan ich habe mein Leben immer negativ gesehen ich hatte nur sehr wenig positives hören.
Kapitel: Wilde Gedanken.
Diesen Weg denn ich Jetzt gehen muss ohne dich ist ein langer und steiler Weg. Ich habe angst auf deisem weg mich selbst zu verlieren und nicht wieder zu Finden. Es fällt mir schwer die Schritte zu gehen die wir gemeinsam gehen wollten. Es fühlt sich falsch an ohne dich zu gehen aber es fühlt sich auch falsch an noch weiter auf dich zu Warten denn du kommst nicht mehr hinterher denn du bist plötzlich aus dem Leben gerissen worden. Warum ist es jetzt passiert, wieso konnte es nicht erst in 20 jahren passieren... Es war viel zu früh das du die erde verlassen hast. Ich wollte noch so viel von dir hören und mich weiter von dir inspirieren lassen. Es tut weh daran zu denken das du weg bist,das du nicht mehr mit bekommst wie es in unseren Leben Laufen... Ich hätte es gerne gehabt das Vincent denn Mann kennenlernte der mich mein Leben lang inspiriert hat und die Menschen gelehrt das die Natur unser wertvollste gut auf dieser erde ist.. Dieser Gedanke is Schmerzhaft das Vincent dich nie kennenlernen wird und nie erfahren wird was du für ein toller Mensch du warst... Warum einfach warum musste es so früh sein das du gehst wieso hättest du nicht noch was bleiben können und mit uns weiter Leben können... Ich pack es nicht Mehr... Diese Gedanken machen mich fertig jeden tag... ich hätte es vllt verhindern können das du aus dem Leben gehst aber ich war nicht da...
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einfachnurtodd · 5 years
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Was ist der Sinn im Leben?!..
Ich denke jeden Tag daran es zu tun um jeden Preis egal was es bedeutet ich will es tun ich will es beenden ich will es zu ende bringen was angefangen worden ist ohne mein ein Verständnis ich wollte nie so Wei in dieses leben. Ja Suizid ist nicht das richtige aber ich hab keine andere Lösung mehr meiner Probleme...  Ich habe diesen Mut nicht mehr dieses Leben weiter zu leben meine Hoffnung ist weg ich hab die Hoffnung aufgeben ich habe mein Leben aufgegeben meine Hoffnung ist weg einfach weg... Es ist nur noch eine leere in mir die sagt tu es denn es ist das beste was Ivh tun kann in meiner Lage ich glaube nicht das mein leben noch ein sinn hat und wenn ja wo ist er? Ich hab ihn gesucht Ich habe alles versucht ihn zu finden aber es hat nix gebracht einfach nix es hat es nur schlimmer gemacht egal was ich getan habe....   Scheiß drauf Ich möchte einfach nicht mehr....
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einfachnurtodd · 5 years
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Die Hülle..
Es ist nur eine Fassade ich sehe glücklich aus von außen aber das ist nur ein Schein niemand weiß wie es innerlich bei mir aussieht. Ich fresse alles in mich rein und verdrängte es was ist... Ich ign denn Schmerz der mich zerfrisst jeden Tag. Ich schreie doch niemand hört es. Niemand hört diesen Schmerz, niemand sieht diesen Schmerz, niemand versteht diesen Schmerz. Ich bin alleine damit. Egal was ich tu es wird einfach nicht besser es wird immer nur noch schlimmer und die lasst wird immer größer und größer und der Schrei wir immer lauter....
Es ist nur noch eine leere hülle die versucht gefühlt zu werden. Da ist nix mehr keine Gefühle, kein Leben, kein Geist, kein Sinn der mehr gesucht wird es ist nur noch eine leere Hülle dieser Körper..
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