el-d-ritch

[el-d-ritch]

cuervocabron‌:

hell yeah dude i know what i want and im not gonna settle for less

anyway whats been up with you we chatted a few times then you like up and disappeared right

hows uh

the kid

he still got two hats on or he good

yeah thatll happen a lot so if we’re friends you gotta get used to it unfortunately.

and hes good. still a dumb four (he turned four like earlier this month) year old but good. getting him to sleep was hell.

[el-d-ritch]

cuervocabron‌:

mine better be some fancy shit with rose scented paper or were through

damn ok mr high maintenance rose-tea-scented paper it is.

[el-d-ritch]

cuervocabron‌:

you cant just fucking ask me questions or statements inquisitively aligned and then expect me to be all coy about it like thats literally the opposite of my deal

ok god let me write this down in one of my various dossiers i have stashed away for every person i talk to one sec.

[el-d-ritch]

cuervocabron‌:

its not

listen

thats not what i was having a fit over i was having a fit over him finding out i was talking about his dong or dongs or whatever hes got going on

well.

i mean.

here we are.

[el-d-ritch]

cuervocabron‌:

this is the part where id be like aw rad except wishing for death is futile for me so now my whole ass monday is clear for other things like uh

making too many taco bell jokes

or like, having a whole ass breakdown over some dudes dick(s) apparently.

[el-d-ritch]

@cuervocabron

yeah emotional breakdowns are on fridays so i have the whole weekend to recover before i start wishing for death again.

super convenient.

[el-d-ritch]

real talk i am so fucking lucky dave isn’t scared of me or tentacles because lol holy shit.

[el-d-ritch]

speaking from experience.

[el-d-ritch]

sometimes a family is some normal human man and a giant eldritch horror with 7 beaks and 8000 eyes and tentacles.

[el-d-ritch]

i cant wait to get a boyfriend, im all prepared. i punched some holes in the lid of this jar and i put some grass and a twig in it

[el-d-ritch]

more tentacles for me.

[el-d-ritch]

bromeggeddon‌:

Epic, gamers. I can’t wait. Giddy is me.

Glorified Shit. The lopsided star on the top of the tree, that’s the only way to go about it. At least he’s having fun though, I remember when my dad would throw Christmas for my bro ‘nd I while things were just catastrophic around us.

Good times.

yeah i hope when hes not a tiny baby and he remembers anything he’ll look back on this and not consider me a total jackass for not knowing wtf im doing.

last thing i wanna be known for is a deadbeat.

[el-d-ritch]

exspiritment‌:

i am not scard of you 

:/

did i say you counted.

[el-d-ritch]

exspiritment

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that is fucked up 

i used to b hardkor

now i am week

sorry spirit im the scary one now

[el-d-ritch]

exspiritment‌:

i just like it when he is scared of me. 

purpl is good color. the rules are purple. my rules.

hate to break it to ya but hes not scared of you.

if hes not scared of me and my 100 tanglebuddies then like wtf do you look like to him.

probs not a big deal.

[el-d-ritch]

bromeggeddon‌:

Write it in blood, you can’t break this promise. Pensive face.

Damn. Fair enough. I’d say bring him into hibernation with you, but something tells me kids are far to squirmy to even consider laying still for a day, let alone, months. My thoughts go out to you.

Oh, yeah. The whole Santa ordeal and whatnot, the hype of thousands of presents. Gets old when you get old(er).

damn aight fine. another name on the suicide pact list it is.

and yeah. its already gotten old for me like forever ago but im not gonna ruin it for him. we set up the christmas tree and everything. he helped me decorate it and insisted on drawing the ornaments himself so naturally it looks like shit but like, a really great piece of shit. 

he cant even fucking draw a star. its hilarious.

[el-d-ritch]

exspiritment‌:

it is purple:)

idk if he likes purple or not.

probably will if its coming from you though.

he actually likes you a lot. he thinks youre cool.