elce-winchester - Tumblr blog

[elce-winchester]

I love this feeling

I have a boy to starve for now

[elce-winchester]

“Canada is on fire”: aesthetique

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[elce-winchester]

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[elce-winchester]

has anyone been feeling feverish and delirious lately or is it just me and that twink from crime and punishment?

[elce-winchester]

“You will burn and you will burn out; you will be healed and come back again.”

— Fyodor Dostoevsky, from “The Brothers Karamazov”, originally published c. 1879–1880.

[elce-winchester]

hes a 10 but he lays on the couch in a feverish delirium every day

[elce-winchester]

"But how could you live and have no story to tell?"

– Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

[elce-winchester]

raskolnikov from crime and punishment considering killing himself but then seeing some girl try to kill herself by jumping off a bridge but she survives. and then he’s like omfg that’s so awkward and embarrassing nevermind

[elce-winchester]

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[elce-winchester]

92062) I feel like people liked me better when I was at my worst… now i’m just so lonely…

[elce-winchester]

dont talk to me rn im doing hot girl shit (relapsing on my ed)

[elce-winchester]

Copy and paste this into ur notes and read it if you get cravings:

It’s never worth it. Imagine how much weight you’ve lost in the last few days. If you binge now that was all for nothing because you’ll gain it all back. Do it for cute clothes, shopping sprees, being happy Because food will never satisfy you. If you binge now, the urges will keep coming back. If you binge now, it will not be the last time. It’ll keep going on and on. Break the cycle. That full feeling is so much worse than feeling dizzy with hunger. Because control is power. Collarbones, thigh gap, flat stomach. Think of all the times you’ve binged, how it felt sitting up in the middle of the night. Don’t put yourself through that again. You can reach your GWs. It just takes a bit of control. It’s nearly summer. Still, plenty of time to get skinny. Do it for that belly button piercing to look hot as fuck. Imagine feeling comfortable in a bikini. You’ll never be comfortable in a bikini if you binge. Get thin to be able to fit into those old jeans. Just because you messed up yesterday, doesn’t mean you can’t do great today. Reach those GWs. You fucking deserve it after all this shit you’ve been though. In a week’s time you could be so much lighter. Do it so he can pick you up and say you’re light. Do it so people will worry again. Do it so your fucking period leaves you the hell alone again. Do it so you’re not afraid of going shopping and seeing mirrors. Do it so you can get your makeup done professionally and you’ll look perfect. Self control is so important, not just for weight loss. Practice now. For the before and after pictures. You’re gonna be the skinniest bitch you’ve ever seen. I promise. If you don’t binge. To wear white skinny jeans with a black sweater. To wear PINK workout clothes and just lounge around the house. To wear a sports bra and oversized trackies when working out. To wear triangl bikinis and feel like a model. So you won’t be called ‘heavy’ when picked up To proudly tell people your clothing size To have thighs that look small in anything So you won’t have to compare yourself to others in the changing room To look good in short shorts To have people ask you for diet tips To have people say you look like a model. So that you’ll begin to envy a model’s clothes, not her body To look sexy without trying To be able to change in front of friends Being able to sit on his lap and be picked up Having small thighs when sitting Look good with messy hair, just woken up. Looking in the mirror and seeing bones, not fat The feel of your ribs and hip bones sticking out Being cold all the time because you’re so thin and loving it Always looking good in heels Size 0 skinny jeans Looking small in baggy shirts with jeans Having visible collarbones Having a thigh gap Sitting in the middle of the car because you’re the smallest To enjoy concerts and get drunk and party and just live life Not having to worry about what people say behind your back because it doesn’t matter, nothing does because you’re thin To become someone else’s thinspo Binging is not fucking worth it, EVER, and it’s painful and it’s so fucking pointless. Why do you keep doing it? So that you can try on clothes without wanting to stay in the fitting room, curl up into a ball, and die. So that every and any photograph taken of you from any angle will look good. So that you won’t be the fattest girl out of all your friends. So that boys will think of you as girlfriend potential, not that funny girl who’s kind of chubby. So that all your old expensive clothes fit again So that you’re cheek bones will be fucking amazing again Because skinny girls can get away with, making any face, wearing any outfit, or having any hairstyle So that you don’t look like a messy slob with no self control So that you’re friends respect you So that you’re arm flab doesn’t spread out when you rest your arms on your side So that people whisper about how skinny you’ve gotten behind your back So that you when you sit, no matter what you’re wearing your stomach remains one flat perfect board So that you never have to worry about your disgusting love handles oozing over the edges of your too-tight pants So that you can rush out of the house in jeans and a t-shirt and look like a model So that you don’t look like a fat little kid anymore. So that you make your parents proud instead of being their fat-ass daughter without any self control So that you’re boyfriend will be proud to show your photo, or you off to his friends So that you can wake up in the morning without trying on a million and a half outfits and looking fat in each one So that your self control, your amazing discipline shines through for everyone to see. So that there is a space between your legs. So that the shorter the shorts, the better. So that you’ll be referred to as the pretty one So that you’re hip bones will hurt people when you hug them So that your shoulder blades are literally blades So that your ribs are always showing, not just when you stretch So that nobody even remembers that girl you used to be So that you’re delicate and graceful So that when people do see you eat they will not be thinking, “put down the fork fat ass” So that when you try on your friends clothes they’re too big So that being however weird crazy or out there you are is acceptable because you’ll look good doing it So that if god forbid someone finds out that you’re starving yourself they don’t say “really? But you don’t look anorexic” Because who wants a fat daughter, best friend, or girlfriend So that everything is finally perfect Remember how unhealthy you feel after a binge To be the carefree girl who lives life to the full To wake up tomorrow and weigh less To be tiny and delicate So people say you look like you’re about to break Because what’s the point of eating when you don’t need to? To be the skinny friend So when you sit down your thighs don’t spread out to the size of an ocean So you can be more confident To not have to worry about calories To love yourself

[elce-winchester]

I want to be politically informed and educated but I also wanna have a good day and be in a good mood. Do you see my problem?

[elce-winchester]

“Everything seems okay. And then: a word, a line, a picture, a song…”

— Thoughtkick