elementalphantomthief

[elementalphantomthief]

This.

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[elementalphantomthief]

today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

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when did tumblr collectively decide not to use punctuation like when did this happen why is this a thing

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Gotham TikTok

AKA "Danny moves to Gotham and records TikToks with absolutely deranged captions. He films Get Ready with Me in Gotham videos, fit checks, and even A Day in the Life of a Ghost in Gotham! Except everybody is freaking the fuck out in the comments" prompt idea!

No, you don't understand, I'm obsessed. Like, what if Danny's idea of "safe" is just... anything that doesn't actively try to kill him? So Metropolitians, Star City, and Central City citizens are literally biting their nails and sweating bullets every time he posts, because what if he gets merc'd by the "Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag" Red Hood?? And that's one of the nicer villains in Gotham. And Danny's just like wow, this place is niiiiiice, I haven't even been murdered yet!

Maybe Jazz took a 12-year-old Danny to Gotham to escape their parents. Gotham's cheap, dirty, and doesn't ask questions: it's the best place to go to disappear because damn near half the city's population are either super villains, hostages, dead, or vigilantes. She gets a job at an understaffed hospital as a clinical psych intern. She enrolls Danny for online schooling because she's scared a public high school would be too easy for their parents to track.

Which leaves Danny alone for hours. He makes a TikTok account called "Danny Phantom" because, c'mon, he's a kid. And, like most kids, he doesn't really comprehend the idea of a digital footprint or that his account is public, accessible by literally anybody.

He's also a little shit. So, the first TikTok he uploads is of a man getting carjacked, but the caption reads: love to see people helping each other. remember it's always okay to ask for help! it's okay, I don't know how to parallel park, either :)

And you just see this guy in a mask shove a businessman away from his car, gesturing with his gun, before getting into the driver's seat. Except the car is parallel parked so the carjacker just slowly inches back and forth between a Prius and a Honda until he can wedge himself out of the parking space. And then gets stuck in stand-still traffic. The TikTok goes viral. It's talked about on the Gotham news and Gothamites are losing their shit, pointing out the exact moment you can see the carjacker start to soundlessly cuss through the car's windshield or the way the businessman is just... standing on the side of the road, watching with a deadpan look.

Danny doesn't know about it being on the news, but he sees all the comments, likes, reposts, and feels something. He wonders if this is what Ember feels every time people listened to her music. So, he keeps posting. Usually, it's short three-second videos of a hilariously unexpected situation with an even more deranged caption. But then he's accidentally caught in the reflection of a store front while recording and doesn't know, posts it like he always does; only for this TikTok to go viral, too. Because "Danny Phantom" is a child??

He doesn't notice the shift in his comments, but the public opinion quickly changes from wow, Gothamites are just like that huh lol to what the FUCK, kid, get inside!!! anytime he posts.

Except Danny never gets hurt. Even in the most dangerous situations, when you'd think this kid is a goner for sure, he's just happily yapping in the background. He's so different from Gothamites because he lacks that dead-eyed, despair-inducing aura of someone who's lived in a hellmouth their whole lives. (A couple people post that Danny kind of reminds them of Golden Boy Brucie Wayne, all air-headed and unrealistically optimistic, and suddenly there's memes of "what happens when you've never gotten shot in Gotham" or "how i act when Commish Gordie accuses me of shoplifting again" with them side-by-side.)

And then Danny's posts go viral again and again. Danny doing a fit check with a blond-haired woman with a checkered outfit, she ruffles his hair and kisses him on the cheek. A picture of him wearing an old jean jacket with a bright red lipstick smear on his cheek is trending for weeks. Spoiler, fully suited up in an all-purple vigilante attire, and him shoving gas station hotdogs in their mouths. He even has videos of him clearly in Killer Croc's lair, with comments of are you in the sewers??? DANNY??? and he responds, no, i'm in mom & dad's basement :) (Waylon Jones is actually sitting behind him in one of the videos, intently watching a TV show on an iPad.)

Everybody adores Danny - Rogues, Gothamites, even the Bats. (There's at least six videos of Nightwing teaching Danny how to do backflips, handstands, and other acrobatic moves. Even the youngest Robin has been caught on camera quietly talking with Danny, a shocking lack of violence that left half the city's population suffering from cuteness aggression for the kids.)

So, yeah, Danny belongs to Gotham.

But the internet is widely accessible and Danny made it so, so easy to find him. Jazz obviously didn't know he was posting videos of himself publicly; she was too tired after back-to-back 12 hour shifts at the hospital that she hadn't even checked social media in months. Otherwise, she would've told him to be careful, to never show his face or post his real name on the internet. Then again, Jazz would never have expected all of Gotham (and Superman himself, totally endeared by the kid after Kon and Jon showed him a couple TikToks) would beat the absolute shit out of anybody going after Danny.

Imagine GIW's surprise when they track down Amity's former residential Ghost only to find an entire city frothing at the mouth to protect their Phantom.

[elementalphantomthief]

I'm practicing manga drawing.

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I've read too many fanfics about this, he's really a big fan.

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for your pen testing: danny phantom or maomao from apothecary diaries

This isn’t what you meant, but I thought it would be funny

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nothing but respect for our troops (smut writers) but listen. i dont want to be the person to tell you this, but not every character is going to be a dom or a sub. some people. and i know this is hard to hear. but some people do have vanilla sex. and some of those people might even be The Character.

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Under no circumstances should a US American be elected pope, but it is very funny to imagine. American Pope should become shorthand in fiction for "this is not our timeline" the way that Female President is.

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You might be frustrated by the library never having a complete manga collection on its shelves at any given time, but the 12 year old checking out 14 volumes of One Piece at once is vital to the library ecosystem. He's like the sea otter keeping the kelp forest from being devastated by an excess of sea urchins.

[elementalphantomthief]

// Episode 783 //

Possibly one of my fave screenshots so far <3

[elementalphantomthief]

Drabble: Cooking with Laios🍲

A/N: I have had so many thoughts about Dungeon Meshi recently, so here is a cute cooking drabble about my cutie patootie Laios. Please let me know your thoughts, and my asks are open!

Word count: ~600 words

Content: Fluff, talks of food, Laois x female reader, reader is a merchant

You had met Laios in the local market. Being a produce vendor, he would often visit your stall in search of fresh vegetables and with some curious questions.

"Hmm, do you think this would go well with roasted basilisk?"

"Dungeon scorpion is very sea-foody! Do you have any carrots today?"

Initially, you were a bit taken aback at his straightforwardness regarding eating monsters

"What? They are living beings too, so what says we can't eat them?" He once replied very matter-of-factly, tilting his head to look at you when you had pointed out how weird this eating habit of his was.

You had shrugged in acceptance of his explanation, and you can never forget the way his eyes shone with appreciation.

Since then, he would stop by your stall even more frequently. The topic of conversation slowly drifting from mere vegetable requests to recounting his adventures in the dungeon, until one day he invited you to cook with him!

"I'm sure your extensive knowledge of produce would be amazing in experimenting with new things! I have some of the mollusks from living armor that I am sure would make amazing skewers!" he blurted out, his hand rubbing at the hilt of his sword.

The situation was extremely unusual for you, but you had to admit his stories had made you curious about trying all of these foods.

So that evening after closing your stall and making a detour to your home to freshen up, you followed him into the forest near the entrance of the dungeon.

"You can only truly enjoy dungeon food if you cook out in the open" he had explained softly, setting a leisurely pace by your side before you reached a small clearing.

You finally unloaded the sack you carried with various fresh vegetables along with some herbs while Laois made quick work of starting a fire.

He collected twigs, which you helped him clean to use as skewer sticks before he finally revealed the mollusks and you ventured a finger to touch them, feeling them retract under the pressure.

He smiled at the way your face lit up with curiosity at the new animals, growing even more eager to cook them for you.

"How do you think we should go about making the skewers? A piece of veggie in between every piece of meat, or more separation?" he asked, deep in thought.

After a very detailed conversation on the flavor profile of each ingredient, you settled on alternating vegetable and meat, and letting the skewers bask in the perfect blend of spices before roasting them.

Before you knew it, the scent of tenderly cooked meat and roasted vegetables filled the air of the clearing, your faces illuminated by both the pale moonlight and the warm coals of the fire.

Laios leaned down to retrieve the cooked skewers, and offered you the first bite. You made an appreciative sound at the taste of the food melting on your tongue, and urged him to try some himself.

"Whoa! The sweetness of the tomatoes really balances how savory the meat is. And the garlic marinade just brings everything together!" he commented, holding a hand over his chest as he looked at the food in admiration.

You chuckled a bit at his passion, and the admirative smile was soon directed at you. This certainly would not be the last of your cooking adventures.

[elementalphantomthief]

marcille

[elementalphantomthief]

we as a fandom forget Jinshi is an annoying 19 year old

[elementalphantomthief]

BJ has a very clear understanding of Objectives unfortunately he lacks that level of comprehension when it comes to tactics methods procedures etc. Thus: his Behaviors.

[elementalphantomthief]

one of the deans in beijing dance academy rehearses with students