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rumor has it you’re in love

“Hell yeah. Can someone tell Aviva to return my affections? She's blue-ballin' me real hard right now.”

@rouxed

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rumor has it you have your eye on someone rn

“Are we talkin', like, literally? 'Cause I know someone who'd be into having their own eye straight outta their socket on someone's person. Maybe sexually. I don't kinkshame, but that's not my thing. I kinda need mine to see all the cuties in town—maybe even a few more to keep up.”

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Rumour has it that you're really good with kids

“Oh, absolutely. In fact, I think I have this superpower 'cause whenever I'm sitting a kid, it's, like, they're suddenly Boss Babies. Now I'm the one in nappies, tryin' to eat a bug. This other day I lost an arm wrestle to an 11-month-old—came out with a sprained wrist, but hey, kid gave me a few days off work. Feelin' blessed.”

[eleuthers]

There was no denying that Beau liked going to the local salons just for that shred of gossip, even if it wasn’t for the drama itself; it was the experience of a free therapy session, in character of a nosy old lady getting her perm done. It reminded him of the pensioners back in East Sussex, tattling on their neighbours and the ill-behaved cousins of their perfect grandchildren under their respective windows. They did it every morning on the dot, like a rooster’s hymn. “Whatta Grade-A scumbag move. Hope his dick falls off and gets the smallest casket in existence, then no one comes to the funeral ‘cause they couldn’t find it.” Blowing a single curl out of his eyes, Beau twirled around in the chair, mindlessly drumming up a beat on the armrests, as he waited for her to begin working her magic. “Okay, now, when I tell ya somethin’, you’re not allowed to laugh. Actually, no. If you don’t laugh, it’ll just be sad. See, I lost a bet and now I’m supposed to look like I’m having a midlife crisis at 27.” He paused, squeezing his eyes shut and letting out the most dejected sigh—all for dramatic effect. Beau wasn’t one to ever chicken out of a dare or bet; if anything, they made so much more room for excuses. “Frosted tips, ‘ere I come! Just make them temporary if ya can. Mates don’t gotta know everything.” Sharing a secretive wink with her, he leaned back against the chair in sudden thought. “Did I ever tell you about the skywriting proposal a friend of mine got? Except it wasn’t a proposal—they were fully expecting marriage and instead got a misspelled break-up in the sky. And I’m not a like a crazy activist or anythin’, but that’s, like, a shit ton of carbon footprint, ain’t it? So that’s double-a-crime.”

open starter @fairfordstarters

location: the cutting edge salon

"So then, get this, he'd been with his girlfriend for ten years, right? Have a house together, whole nine yards. He goes and sleeps with her best friend in the bed that they share while his girlfriend is out of town at her grandmother's funeral. How crazy fucked up is that?"

Blowing a raspberry and considering her story concluded, she runs her fingers through their hair as she slowly spun them in the salon chair.

"So, what are you thinking? Shorter for summer? Highlights? Colored streaks? Dream big, your wish is my command."

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rumour has it you’re lonely

“Fuckin' hell, punching me right in the dick with this question; you're like Iron Mike and my ballsack is Michael Spinks. But nah, your mum keeps me company plenty enough, but thanks for your concern.”

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rumor has it you don't like bananas

“I love bananas. I like 'em big, small, average. Genetically modified. Peeled and unpeeled. And if I'm feelin' a little wild, even two at the same time.”

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The summer heat was almost unbearable at this time of day on top of his bender, making his head swim with vertigo and cartoon birds circling round his head like they were ice skating on the Milky Way, hammered, in tiny crop tops and with even tinier cocktails. It wasn’t unusual to find Beau lounging in his car, caged inside the shade when the AC wasn’t working at home; it was always convenient to park outside a restaurant in case of any cravings. This time he was just rousing from quick shuteye, a cigarette dangling in between his lips, when someone approached him, making him flip over the corner of his bandana covering his eyes to take a squinting peek at the other. “Oh, actually...” Beau reached over to the back of the car to rummage through a pile of fuzzy handcuffs, alcohol receipts, and torn hawaiian shirts until he heard the sound of rattling keys. “These yours? Not gonna lie, I'm a bit relieved—I thought I'd blacked out and bought another car.” Chucking them back to their rightful owner, Beau took another glance at him, clicking his tongue with pity. “Ya look like a truck just ran you over and then reversed back. You want somethin’ greasy and nice for that sick?” Beau hopped off the car, wrapping the bandana around his forehead to keep the sun and sweat soaked curls away from eyes. “But if that doesn’t tickle your fancy, there’s always banana, pickle juice, and sex. Works like a charm. Just don’t throw up ‘ere unless you wanna start a vom train.”

open starter @fairfordstarters location : pride downtown celebration

Grey was absolutely furious. Not only he couldn't find his car's keys, he was also very but very hangover from the last night. He shouldn't drink that much, he was always quite civilized when it comes to drink. Now it seems like he just couldn't help himself.

He found himself in the middle of live music, wondering streets of Downtown, until he came to the restaurant, where he dropped his keys this morning. Well, hopefully. Only today he didn't have another key from car, as he was usually caring it around.

"Um, hi. I don't won't to bother you, but is there any chance you found car keys? I happen to lose mine."

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beau: dont threaten me w a good time beau: i love a woman of many talents 😍 beau: are u telling me u dont appreciate my courtship? beau: im like a crow that brings u trinkets except i have 4 nipples and a less likely chance to pass a high school exam

📲 beauregard.

aviva: hello aviva: wanna do me a favor? aviva: stop leaving shit outside my doorway. aviva: it's annoying. i will cut off all that curly hair and use it to make a stuffed dog.

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“Sometimes I get really high and all I can think about my own eyes and how they feel like Tide pods that’ll pop if I blink too hard. Also, it kinda worries me that when aliens come down to Earth, they’re going to take one look at me and be like, “Nah, he doesn’t have two dicks or an aphrodisiacstic asshole. We don’t want him.” Imagine being too beat to get abducted. I think I’d be insecure forever.” 

open starter @fairfordstarters location: thadd and tyson's apartment (thalloween)

"Okay, since we're already microdosing the Halloween spirit out here, what's your most irrational fear? I'll go first -- I don't trust birds."

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[ ... ] # BEAU JAMES RHODES STATISTICS + PINTEREST + MUSINGS

CHARACTER NAME: beau james rhodes AGE AND DATE OF BIRTH: 27 + 10th of september, 1995 GENDER IDENTITY AND PRONOUNS: cis man, he/him HOMETOWN: rye, east sussex, england SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single RESIDENTIAL AREA: downtown OCCUPATION: mechanic at all stop auto shop and tattoo apprentice at ink city; previously a member of the band venom dreams LENGTH OF TIME IN FAIRFORD: seven months POSITIVE TRAITS: convivial, independent, versatile NEGATIVE TRAITS: foolhardy, obstinate, indulgent FACECLAIM: harry styles

[ ... ]

BACKGROUND

triggers for death, homophobia, implied child abuse.

growing up in a small medieval town that didn't even have 10,000 people with an angry father was a very isolating experience for beau. after the death of his mother when he was only two, the only nurturing presence in his life was the quickly fading existence of guinevere rhodes in his memory, a blur on photographs.

there wasn't much to do locally except go fishing with whoever was willing to adopt him for the day or constantly harass the kind grandmas with his childlike chaos—something he could never do around his father without his every move being mistaken for malice or rebellion.

for someone who was as terrible of a student, it was ironic that his safe haven was the private catholic boarding school he'd been forced to attend and which just so happened to be at least an hour away from home.

the older he got, the less he cared. sometimes he'd come home sloshed after a pub crawl with his friends, despite the futile attempts to sober up on the bus ride home with copious amounts of bread and sleep, and most of the days he wouldn't come home at all. it was almost always worth the dire consequences, so long as he could experience a somewhat normal childhood.

beau was admittedly legendary at his school for his pranks, side hustles, and being a walking recipe for headache to the teachers around him, although some of them wouldn't deny that beau's never wavering and kind spirit was admirable.

still, his life was closely monitored by those who respected authority and were devout to god, as well as his father, even with all that distance between them, literally and metaphorically. by the time he turned seventeen, he'd already racked up an impressive number of detention and expulsion warnings. those threats were often empty promises, except for the time he got suspended for bringing a donkey onto the premises and wreaking havoc, until the head master caught him with her son doing everything but holy things.

needless to say, he was expelled months before his graduation and his father had brought him home by his ears only to immediately kick him out and tell him to never return. happy to do so, he packed his entire life into a suitcase, stole his father's car, promising his younger sister he'd come back for her if he were ever mean to her as he was to him, and escaped to london, where he started a new chapter of his life.

he spent more or less a year sleeping on the streets or couch-surfing, working odd jobs and getting involved in sketchy shit just to get by and survive. his saving grace came in the form of a lanky and dashingly handsome man, who would soon become his best friend, taking him into his home and auto shop for the time being, teaching him everything he needed to know to become a decent mechanic and get a long-term job.

later, they would form a band with some of their friends as a joke, except it was quickly becoming a reality after a video of theirs had gone viral, and before they knew it, venom dreams was big enough to start doing gigs and "tour" across the united states under the guise of a road trip.

beau's then long-time girlfriend had joined them on said tour, supporting them at every show, however, her presence was also one of the reasons for the downfall of the band. after finding out that she'd been sleeping with his best friend behind his back, he wasted no time to call it quits and went on a road trip of his own, finding his way to fairford.

although he hadn't intended to stay longer than a week or two, he ended up forming a meaningful connection with the town and its residents, throwing all caution out the window and deciding to build a life there even if for just a year.

[ ... ]

CHARACTER STUDY

inspirations: joey tribbiani (friends) / jason mendoza (the good place) / finn nelson (my mad fat diary) / nick miller (new girl) / pol rubio (merlí) / flynn rider (tangled) / troy barnes (community) / kian lawley (youtuber) / steve harrington (stranger things) / robin hood / jj (outer banks) / jake peralta (brooklyn nine-nine).

HEADCANONS

although he was the drummer and songwriter of the band, he plays multiple instruments, including drums, bass, guitar, and (very loosely) piano. he no longer pursues music as a career, but will do a show or two when asked.

owns a pet rat named bartholomew jr. there is no bartholomew sr.

struggles with insomnia and nonsensical sleep talking.

started tattooing himself and other people with a cheap tattoo gun when he was a teenager and now dreams to open his own studio one day.

he has a habit of doodling or sketching on any available surface, including his own face and body as well as his friends'.

his ultimate party trick is erecting his nipples on command.

has a deep passion for cooking and usually hosts bbq nights at his place every few weeks.

owns three vintage cars and often attends car shows.

easily persuaded into things, especially under the guise of a bet or if it's an extreme activity.

he loves engaging in philosophical discussions about (extraterrestrial) life when he's absolutely sloshed.

he has a soft spot for the elderly and children; as someone who is rather childish but somewhat responsible, he makes the perfect candidate for a babysitter.

has an innate sense of direction and can navigate through unfamiliar places effortlessly, often taking spontaneous detours to explore hidden gems.

beau has a habit of leaving notes or reminders to the people he loves as a way of uplifting them.

king of hawaiian shirts and bandanas.

when he was still living in london, his primary income came from working as a nude model for artists.

CONNECTIONS

leofcwlers best friend, soulmate, love interest. dottiepcttersons a will they won't they situation later defined as they won't because of bro code. cyrusgarza situationship turned awkward co-workers. rouxed do they hate each other or are they fucking? thaddcarter close friends who hook up every now and then whenever their love lives are falling apart. felixmannon mentor. joscphine thing #1 to his thing #2 since their band days. phoebebaker fleeting summer romance from years ago.

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stoooooop stop seriously stop

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Sunset Boulevard (1950) dir. Billy Wilder

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Jack Black photographed by Martin Schoeller 

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The Sopranos〡S2E2

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Golden | BTS

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Behind The Album - Part 2