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cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

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Need head from a broad with acid reflux. Make it sizzle princess

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It's actually funny how humans decided "fuck living in caves with all these creepy crawlies", got out of caves, built houses that have all the nice parts of a cave without any of the yucky parts, and then all the little bugs and spiders and other creepy crawly creatures that used to also live in caves thought "sweet, new and improved caves" and moved right back in with us.

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A new cat color has been spotted in Finland. This is really interesting. A lot of common cat coat patterns have only evolved in the last 1,000 years. The tabby cat coloration only evolved in the Middle Ages.

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i'm not a lesbian as far as i know and i already have a wife but thanks tumblr

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being anticapitalist with a strong work ethic is so fucking embarrassing like my managers don't deserve this

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Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

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do you guys ever like forget you're interested in something until you start engaging with it again and you go "oh wait i'm like crazy crazy about this yeah"

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“XIV players are, as a genus, incapable of shutting the fuck up about it.”

— me, after yelling about XIV for the fifth time in a friend’s DMs

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*guy with an undiagnosed disability voice:* haha it’s kinda crazy how everyone just deals with the constant unending pain but we just thug it out like usual 💯💯💯