elfsteak

[elfsteak]

not a dream i think but idk anymore because i was awake and driving home

ok  im really freaked out right now and i know no one is going to see this and thats kind of what im hoping before because i have 0 followers and this is just a sideblog but i just need to tell something even if its just a dumbass website run by fools (and i cant tell my psychologist because she’ll have me committed)  but i am losING IT RIGHT NOW. and if this is seen by someone pls just. dont like or reblog or even comment like please fuck off i feel like im losing it for real (read if you want but like. dont say anything cos i know this is whack and weird and probably didnt happen at all, but im not even sure at this point,)

anyway I was driving home tonight from woollies around 6-30 pm i think, cos i left at 6-15 and its a 20 minute drive home and was coming down the backroad to get to my place and I had this really weird ominous feeling and like the road already creeps me out because theres this weird hill on the way down the road that dips into almost the bank of river and that river is creepy as shit. you know how you go to dangerous place and the hairs on your arms sort of tingle and you feel like youre in danger? its that kind of place. Anyway tonight it felt especially bad and I was going to turn the car around and get back on the main road (i live in a semi-isolated place aka traffic in the day but by 5pm theres nothing at all happening, and there’s long stretches between houses). Only I didn’t. Normally when I go down this road I go wayyy under the speed limit since it’s dangerous fucking road man and sometimes when i’m panicky about it I kinda chant to myself dont crash dont crash dont crash like a mantra. But this time I felt so fucking bad, like I was actually dying I thought to myself shit man I always knew this road was going to kill me so my usual mantra turned to please dont kill me please dont kill me . And this is where I’m starting think i had a fever dream in the car because this fucking voice in my ear says “and why shouldnt you die here?” and i slam my breaks on, or at least i tried. car kept going and I nearly cried i was like wtf is going on. and i looked around me and sitting in the seat beside was like a fucking shadow or something but it had a form like a human but very clearly not and yet i could not for the life of me focus on it. Like a black misty kind of but with a vague humanoid outline but no features and it was like my eyes blurred it out like my mind was trying to censor it or something anyway i could feel myself literally almost crying like my tears were there but not falling and this thing beside just asked me why shouldnt i die on this fucking road and i just reply i think something about not killing me because life is looking good for the first time in history for me (its true, for the first in 3 years and over 260 resumes handed in I finally got accepted somewhere and hopefully this means that poverty will no longer ruin me). But anyway after i said that it was like the thing telelported in front of me (while im still drving) and i couldnt see in front of me but i guess it didnt matter because i wasnt even steering but the car was still moving around the bend and towards that fucking dip/hill and i was gripping that wheel tighter than anything, my hand kind of hurts now from it too. at this point i thought shit has my whole day been a dream? getting that job interview? dream? idk man. but it cant ahve been because im typing this on the same day and im not even in bed yet. anyway this thing is in front of me and im just trying to stare at it but i cant because my eyes wont let me and then at that point im like shit maybe im NOT dreaming after all because its hand on my fucking face feels pretty fucking real to me but the whack thing is that it says to me something like  ‘Periventure’ or some fucking shit  that idk what it means !!! but then it like touches my lips or something and for a second im like wait wtf that feels like lips but im like no probably not i cant see any lips or really fuckin anything at all of this shadow mist thing that seems to actually be physically there and all i really know is it’s black as night and i cant see through it but it looks like mist that i cant focus on. and then like it never happened the thing was gone and i was nearly at my house and im like wtfffff did i just ahve some kind schizophrenic vision or something (which i considered possible because my dad has schizophrenia so im like hmm maybe) but what really nailed it home in my head that it might have been for real is that when i checked my phone after mindlessly parking and maybe a bit dazed is that the time read 9:23 pm. the whole woollies trip should only have taken an hour or less. 20 minutes there- 10 minutes in the shop- 20 minutes back roughly. again, I left woolworths at like 6-15 or maybe 6-10. 20 minute trip back it should have been and somehow im home at 9 something? at that point I nod to myself and think alright im nuts. maybe i just didnt read the time properly when i left. so i was gonna put it all behind and just pretend i had a weird stroke. so i went inside and my brothers like where tf were you did you get my pizza? how long does it take for chips and pizza? and im just stare at him and say how long was i gone for and he’s just like shit dude you were gone for hours and woolworths is not that fucking far. then im like oh shit. it happened i think. but it. is too weird for me so i like to think it didnt happen. it’s 10:25 on the dot as i write this sentence here and im thinking about just not even posting this since ive written it down but i feel like if i dont it wont be here when i wake up and i really will think im just having a nuts dream but like. that job dude. i really hope this isnt a dream. i need that job.