elgringo300

[elgringo300]

[elgringo300]

Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

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05.10 - Morningstar

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currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days

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[elgringo300]

knight who is constantly searching for a good and noble king to serve but cannot fucking find one for the life of him so he has to become the good and noble king himself.

and now all these other knights are coming around like "please let me serve you" and like obviously hes going to let them serve him thats the point of being a good and noble king but its also. very annoying. one of you become the good and noble king for once lets trade

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oh no! the queen is furious

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it's getting too warm outside. I may need to intervene

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I miss my friends so much I’m going to throw up

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people are like oh I'm so tired of masculine female characters I want more feminine ones LISTEN THERE ARE SO MANY AND BOTH OPTIONS CAN SUCK half the time the masculine ones just know how to use a weapon magically but also are still hot in a standard way and half the time the feminine ones are sexist stereotypes we have GOT to join forces and admit really we just don't like badly written women we CANNOT keep being divided like this

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[elgringo300]

The OC narrative questionnaire thing.

INSTRUCTIONS. (Not rules, this is just as it was designed to work.)

- Copy and paste this list into a new post or document. (Please don’t stick the answers in a reblog, this is weirdly important to me. You can, however, share your answers where ever you like.)

- List five characters.

- Search and replace the bracketed numbers with the assigned name. (ex. “1. Tom.” Search and Replace [1] with Tom.)

- Fill out.

- Don’t worry about reading the questions beforehand. I wrote the dang thing and it surprises me every time. You can scramble the list if you really want to.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

  1. [1] and [3] both are in a hurry and practically bump into each other when they get to the door. What happens?

  2. [2] and [5] are in an argument. What could it be about? Just to smooth things out, [4] walks in on them.

  3. [2] needs a confidant and the options are [1] and [3]. Who’s it gonna be? What circumstances would cause this to switch?

  4. [3] and [4] are stuck in a body swap and now they need to impersonate each other. What are the traits they’d overplay to sell it? Who’d do the better job?

  5. [5] has lost something precious. There’s a pile of circumstantial evidence that [2] is the thief. Does [5] decide to trust [2] anyway? Jump on the evidence and start the blame game? Is there enough trust there to label this a betrayal? Is [2] actually responsible?

  6. [4], [2], and [1] are all out in the middle of nowhere and they stumble onto a very suspicious bag of money. What does each of them think of the situation?  Can they agree on what to do?

  7. [3] and [5] are, for the sake of this question, arch-enemies.  For reasons they care about, they have to play nice with each other for a dinner. How well does each pull it off? Does [1] pick up on the tension in the room?

  8. There is a bug! A particularly big, spiny, potentially venom filled specimen.  [1], and [2] are in the room with the little guy, and [3], [4], and [5] are in the next room over. What happens?

  9. Let’s cast [3] as a detective and [4] as the assistant. What could this look like? How effective would they be?

  10. [2] is jealous of [1]. What’s causing this? How is this expressed? How honest is [2] about these feelings?

  11. Say [5] really has to hype up [1] to [3]. Is this going to be easy? Sincere? How convincing would this all be for [3]? What if [1] overheard the hype session?

  12. [2] and [4] are now trapped in the Cave of ‘You’re Stuck Here Until You Resolve Some Character Conflict’. What would they need to talk about? What would they need to hear? How long will this take?

  13. Gift Exchange! [5] got [3] in the Secret Santa. How easy will this be? How much effort is [5] going to put into this? What will [3] think of the gift?

  14. Neither [3] nor [2] believe in ghosts, but they happen to be in a very haunted house anyway. Who would figure out what’s going on first? Who would handle it better?

  15. Well! It looks like a couple of no good bad guys are trying to snatch [5].  Why on earth would they do that? How much trouble would they have? What if [1] got involved?

  16. [4] and [5] have been assigned the Those Two Guys role. Whatever part of the story they play, the other tends to be around too. Would this be a voluntary arrangement?

  17. What kind of age gap is there between [2] and [3]? What if this was exaggerated? Switched around? What kind of dynamic would you get with an old [2] and a young [3]?

  18. What’s something both [1] and [4] find hilarious? Would they enjoy sharing it? What would [2] think of it?

  19. [5] and [4] are in an on-going disaster together. Who’s handling it better? Is there a clear leader between them? Are they working together or cracking under the stress?

  20. Let’s say [3] was leading a team built from [2], [5], and [1]. Would this position be more likely to be earned, elected, granted by a higher authority, or self-proclaimed? How would you rank [3]’s leadership skills? Is there anyone in the underling trio who objects? Anyone whose particularly loyal? How functional would the team be overall?

  21. [4]’s been left out of the day’s shenanigans. Is this taken personally? What level of solo shenanigans will they get into if left on their own?

  22. If you had to choose a babysitter between [2] and [3], who would it be? Who would [4] choose?

  23. Alright, let’s swap [4] and [1]’s stories for a moment. Would they get along with the other’s supporting cast? What’s one big way the stories would change?

  24. [4], [2], and [5] have all been taken to a mysterious location, and separated. They have not seen their “hosts” yet, but have had time to think about the situation. When they are reunited, [5] has been replaced with a slightly too friendly, but otherwise identical, impostor. Do the other two notice? Does the discussion turn to escape? If they realize [5] is missing, what would the others do?

  25. What’s one goal that [3] and [1] could share? What would they think of each other’s methods of getting said goal?

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[elgringo300]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.