eliletsglow

[eliletsglow]

Today I shaved my head again.

It's been a couple of weeks since I had the idea of doing it again.

Today I was scrolling on social media and I saw this girl who is super extrovert and she has this magnetic energy

she's gorgeous but she's gorgeous in a hegemonic way, which is not her fault of course.

I instantly compared myself to her. I started to think, what if I were like her, What if I had this magnetic energy

and people would love to see my videos? But I'm not, I'm not like her, my body is different, my personality,

my way to express myself, at least I don't have the confidence to be that extrovert.

I don't consider myself a hegemonic woman.

I have armpit hair because I believe I used to shave them because society told me to.

Now I let them grow, but I still hide them in public.

I don't shave my legs either, and even if I don't hide my legs, I feel like everyone could see me and judge me.

So I closed the app and started to think about the stories I saw before of a girl who was complaining because someone

in the gym told her that she should exercise more if she wanted to lose weight.

And I got this nausea feeling on how we will never, as women, will satisfy this society.

And I don't want my daughter to see that, I don't want to perpetuate the idea that she's not enough only for

existing as a girl.

So I keep my feelings secret.

I'm sitting in front of a mirror and I have the impulse to shave my head, again, anyway, it's been 6 and a half

years with my hair short.

It's easier, and definitely feels good.

I saw all my six months of effort of letting my hair grow laying on the floor.

And I remember, when my hair was long, people used to tell me how lucky I am for having straight hair.

I rather it messy, with volume, and kinda punk.

I started to think of my mother's reaction: what a shame, It looked better before,

then my sisters reinforce her comments: just let it grow

I think in other people's reactions, like: you're crazy, you're bold, you're weird.

Thankfully my partner loves me as I am and he always supports me.

But still.

Then I think, I really am bold, I and really have the courage to say: fuck this

Then I look at myself in the mirror, and I'm not satisfied with what I'm looking at.

Maybe it was a mistake, maybe it was an impulse, which it was, but what I was thinking, do I look better

And for who? For what?

Why do I still have these thoughts that I'm not enough or that I need to look better?

I put some makeup on. I feel better, of course, I'm wearing the society's filter.

Then I put on my new vintage dress, some earrings and rings, and a vintage bracelet.

And I start to feel better, suddenly have the confidence to take that selfie to show that I'm happy with my decision, while I'm thinking

on writing this.

While I'm writing, waiting for the water to boil to make myself some tea, my daughter came and told me: Mommy, you're a champion right?

And everything stops. The world, my thoughts, my inner crisis, everything but my heart, then I smiled and remember that I really am that champion.

And this self-confidence battle won't end but I'm winning. Because even scared, I am able to move forward and do what pleases me. Being able to follow my

intuition.

At the end, that's what really matters.

[eliletsglow]

Some fits I've been wearing.

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Today my fit was all about second hand tesoritos.

Dress, boots & bracelets are second handed.

Vest is vintage ❤️ from Express, I guess maybe from the 90s? Could be older.

[eliletsglow]

I was talking to my boyfriend the other day, we both are creative people and our jobs aren't related to our hobbies.

So we were talking about how hard is to even dare to believe that we could live from the things we love, art, books, writing, fashion, photography, painting, creating whatever, and even though the possibility exists, we both know that depends on money, privilege, and basically nepotism.

When we have time, we use it to do the things we love, even if we are tired, we try to have the space to honor the things that move us, and that's what we are trying to teach to our little girl, that no matter how "trapped" you are in this system, art is a scape, art will always be a scape.

[eliletsglow]

I went to Wokapi the other day, this place has *the absolutely best* almond milk coffee.

I went to read and have some time for myself.

There's a little flower shop and it's been a while since I started to buy myself flowers. (Before Miley's song came out) This time I chose red carnations, I'm still waiting for them to bloom. ✨

Of course I had to wear a cute fit:

Vintage leather faux fur coat. I really looove this piece.

These boots was a dream come true, they were on my Pinterest board for yeeeears and one day I found them in a thrift shop and they were my size, they were perfect. ❤️

Skirt and blouse are second handed and my bag was a Christmas gift from my partner's siblings - also second handed, they know me too well.

I'm about to finish The House of Gucci, I'll do a small review once I'm done with it.

[eliletsglow]

Oufit todito de segunda. ✨

Nunca voy a superar que esas botas las haya encontrado en una Americana de mala muerte, y que sean las que tenía años buscando.

Blusita vintage, chalequito y short de segunda. ❤️

[eliletsglow]

Digicam selfie.

Vestido lencero y jacket de cuero de segunda obvi.

[eliletsglow]

De vivir, de resistir.

[eliletsglow]

Encontré este vestido hace unos meses en la tienda de segunda mano. Lo primero que me llamó la atención por supuesto, fue el corte del vestido y los detalles de los costados que me da un vibe noventero.

Hoy empecé a investigar sobre la marca, la etiqueta me dice que es vintage: está bordada, (ya las marcas comerciales utilizan etiquetas producidas en masa) y, además, hecho en Estados Unidos. - Pero no es suficiente información. Internet y foros de ropa vintage no me dieron tantísima info como quería pero sí la suficiente para saber que la prenda fue hecha en los 90s, como sosechaba.

Encontré que era una marca que fue vendida cuando ganó popularidad a Lillie Rubin, una cadena de tiendas de ropa que cerró en 1996. Fue difícil encontrar artículos, muchas revistas solamente con suscripción se puede acceder a sus artículos porque privatizar la información mientras los medios de notas falsas ganan popularidad es una gran idea. Y en Youtube únicamente encontré hauls de ropa de segunda mano. Así que sí, podría asegurar que es una joyita vintage.

Hace poco aprendí a usar la búsqueda por foto del app de Google (too bad for an ex IT grrrl) y me ha ayudado enormemente en mis research, pero esta vez, solamente me lanzó imágenes de vestidos básicos negros con arnés.

La confección del vestido deja ver lo cuidadosos o los mejores procesos de confección que se tenían antes, fuera del detalle de la etiqueta el vestido está en perfecto estado, la tela si bien es polyester, se nota que es de buena calidad, pesada pero con movimiento. Y hablando del estilo, she's a beauty.

Mi collar es de un emprendimiento nacional que se llama Traded Accessories y me hicieron esta belleza personalizada

Mis zapatos son chancletas de mi suegra porque no todo tiene que ser perfecto ni aesthetic.

[eliletsglow]

Los malaventurados no lloran.

[eliletsglow]

Wearing.

Vintage DKNY sweater, second handed faux leather skirt & Corina Mary Jane shoes ✨

Vintage Brighton leather shoulder bag. - I'm still trying to find out the year this bag was made, but she's a beauty, it was hung on a mannequin in my favorite local thrift shop. I had to have it. I've been looking for something like this for a while.

I know for sure it's vintage and not fake, either way I emailed the brand to validate if the serial number is real. I'm not sure if they'll reply back, but it was worth to try.

I didn't know anything about Brighton brand. It's always great to learn about brands through vintage treasures. ♥️

[eliletsglow]

Wearing.

Vintage Levi's 550 relaxed fit & basic white tee.

[eliletsglow]

Queriendo absorberlo TODO

[eliletsglow]

Fit industrial.

Maderista hasta la tumba.

Camisa de José Madero que me regaló un fan después del concierto del 10 de junio del 2022 en el Auditorio Nacional de la ciudad de México. - Su primer Auditorio como solista.

Enagua de cuerina de segunda y botas de cuero de segunda. ♥️

Mi bolso es de segunda mano, de la marca Del Rio, que me dieron mis cuñados para navidad porque me conocen too well.

[eliletsglow]

Fits.

Blazer de segunda mano, no me he puesto a leer mucho de la etiqueta pero creo que sí es vintage.

Pantalón de Zara y botas de Stradivarius. 🙈 But they were a must.

El collar es de una tienda local que encontré en Instagram donde compré el dije y le cambié el mecate por cola de ratón rojo.

[eliletsglow]

La moda como respuesta estética a la sociedad.

¿Puede ser desligada de lo superficial? Pero es que nunca lo ha sido, realmente, que sea lo que nos vendan ahora los influencers y las RRSS es otra cosa, pero siempre ha sido más que ropa, la ropa es el producto de la moda pero es más que tecnisismos y simbolismos que satisfacen la necesidad del vestir.

Es una respuesta a la pradoja social entre individualismo y la opresión social de la pertenencia.

Es más allá de lo que vemos en Vogue o en street wear que dice todo de nuestra sociedad.

- Sobre la moda y otros demonios

[eliletsglow]

Nick mason, about to drop the hottest album of the decade, it’s called the dark side of the moon, check it out