eliza444c

[eliza444c]

[eliza444c]

Journal prompts 🎈❤️

Write a love letter to your favourite season.

Write an appreciation letter to your favourite item (mug,makeup products eg..)

Create a new dimension through drawing (what does it look like? Smell like? Who lives in it?)

How would you describe music to an alien?

Do you think your dress sense is an accurate representation of your inner self?

What characteristics do you dislike in a person?

Draw other people’s art in your own style

List all the songs you know of by heart and what they remind you of

Define beauty

[eliza444c]

A letter to my mother, the person whose only job is to protect and shelter me from hurt but ended up hurting me the most.

I would rather sit alone with the weight of the world on my chest than let you see my vulnerability ever again.

I choose to bottle it all up not because I want too but because I have to. If I was to open up and show you the slightest bit of vulnerability my words would be twisted and held against me untill I took my last breath.

I could move across the world meet new people get married change everything about my life and yet still feel your ocean of negativity wash over me every single day.

But when I sit alone in my room

When the moon is peeking through my curtains.

I feel the guilt take over when I realise you’re my mother.

I question if I’ve been the problem all along?

If I’ve been ungrateful and ignorant.

But what should I be grateful for?

Your back handed compliments?

Your remarks about my weight?

Do you want me to worship the ground you walk on? I would rather sit alone with the weight of the world on my chest than let you see how much you negatively impact my life.

Instead I choose to be nothing like you.

My kids will never feel the way I have and do feel growing up. Instead they will have a mum who is always there to talk without judgement. A mum who doesn’t start arguments because she’s insecure instead we talk through the problem. They will have a mum who doesn’t hit. They will have a mum that makes a conscious effort in there life. I know I’m going to be a good mum and that thought keeps me sane.

And it’s not going to be like my childhood. Normalise that hitting your kids doesn’t teach them respect it teaches them to fear someone that’s only role is to protect them. If animal abuse and hitting someone on the street is so looked down on why normalise it in your own home? Instead of blaming it on the way you were brought up make a change so your child doesn’t grow up resentful of the child they could have been. Do better before it’s to late children are our future.

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive my mother for the things she has done to me.

I will be forever resentful that my childhood got taken away before I even got to experience it.

[eliza444c]

I find forgiveness so so difficult.

This isn’t because I enjoy holding a grudge or making the person feel miserable.

I just simply don’t want to give the person the relief/comfort of knowing I don’t care anymore.

I want them to know that I’m still hurt because if the hurt was significant enough for me to hold it so close to my heart for a long period of time surely they don’t deserve to be accepted back into my life