elizas-mindset

[elizas-mindset]

My song of the day: if i get head cinema with Sebastian Stan as Bucky that always with this song.

[elizas-mindset]

A while ago

Its a while ago that i post something. Tbh? Nothing special happend that i can tell you. To day i go to the hairdresser and on our biulding site is everything really fine. We heard rumors about us and our biulding site. But i ignore that because its so ridiculous. That just envy. I mean we have the posibility to build for free a house. And we planed our house over a year for being perfect. And then its not our problem if they people in my village don´t take the chance like we do.

So we try to get trough the week. My stepdad has a cold and mom and i don´t feel very well.

hope getting better grettings - eliza

[elizas-mindset]

This dairy is very helpful..

At our building site evrything is going very well. The plumper is working really long so they can bring in 4 lost weeks. They do a really great work, so i decide to bake MY very famouse cheesecake. I know that probably nobody read this and this is fine because writing is for me like a valve. To open up before i explose. This is the reason why i do this diary.

In the last days i pulled a shoulder muscle. I couldn´t move my right arm or my head. It was so painful. A relative person is osteopath and she is my engel on earth. She massaged my shoulder on a special way. Holly shit, on the trigger points is twas very painful but right know its much better. She tapped my shoulder and now i can move my head so much better. She save my live very often in this way.

[elizas-mindset]

My song of the say: Its just a song that i feel. I am not a skinny perosn and thats completely fine.

[elizas-mindset]

The last days...

i didn´t post a lot. Sorry for that. Nothing really happends but i loose my conection to the reality in a book. I always say: i don´t read a book, i watch a movie in my brain. The book is from nikola hotel - ever - always if you touch me. A wonderful book and very realistic. I am so excited to the sequel. Right now i am reading from maddie sage- imperial wildest dreams.

Yesterday, finally, the plumbers startet the work at our house. As i have experienced it was like thousand stones fall apart. So liberating. I almost pushed away a tear of joy. At november 8th is everything ready for the flooring. Maybe, but just maybe, the relocation could be possible in december. We will see.

getting better grettings - eliza

[elizas-mindset]

My song of the day: I love the song and is my mood right now.

[elizas-mindset]

First i thought i getting better and after one day i feel so helpless

Basically is everything really fine. Yesterday the workers was really fast to biuld up the fence. It looks so cool. And special to see what is our property. Today the concrete comes for the fence. But the plumber is still not working in the house and thats make me nervous. He has a delay from 4 weeks and thats not good. We hope that we can move this december but i think it hgoes to next january what is in 4 month. Tbh i wanna do a fingersnap and the house is ready so that i can go shop everything what i need. But that is not the reality.

impatient grettings - eliza

[elizas-mindset]

My song of the day: This song make my me wanna dance and freak out. Love the fantastic beats!

[elizas-mindset]

It feels like....

...that i am take a deep breath since 4 days. The thing with the heritage it over. And it was all fine. Remeber the post a couple of days ago? Money that make happy but you can sleep easier. Well thats true. So a couple of fear of future are gone.I think i need start a new thing. I wanna lose weight. Like 22 pounds. And i wanna start it tomorrow. Do sports every second day and watch over my food. I am not fat bit it will be better it will be fewer for my self.

I thinks that what i do here on tumblr is really helpful. I write down what makes my scard of and when i post it it feels like that this post sucks the fear from my inside into my netbook. Makes it scense?

kinda good grettings - eliza

[elizas-mindset]

My song of the day: There is no deep connection to this song.This song is a part of the soundtrack of vampire diaries and i am a huge fan of Elena and Damon. So thats it.

[elizas-mindset]

Tomorrow is the day and i am nervous as f**k and future plans

Tomorrow is the appointment for my heritage and i am nervous as f**k. Of course i will sooooo relaxed if i have it but the time to it, well, i would skip it. Because i am so scard of that something goes wrong.

Yesterday i send a E-Mail to my tattoo artist for a new appointment. I want two new tattoos in decemeber. That will be perfect.

In the next two month, i guess, i will buy, a tablett. I can do better post things here with pictures. Like books, snaps from the move in and other things.

Sometimes i have a the feeling that if i post things here my inside become calmer. Like a self therapy. To write down your feares i feel better.

While i´m at it, i am so scared of to do my driver´s license. I get panic attacks if try to drive a car or get into a lil bit stressful situation. So i broke up. I am fine with it. But i know that is just a put off.

normal gretting (i guess) - eliza

[elizas-mindset]

My song of the day: I think this is a very important song. It shows the role of woman in the last years and sometimes in this time. A very strong song and a motivation to be more than the society wants.

[elizas-mindset]

Just a diary entry

Did i feel better after my last post? I don´t know. The worksteps in our new house going on and everything starts and maybe we really can move this december. Maybe earlier. And thats make me start being hopeful. Where i write this post its 6 a.m in germany. Its start going a bit brighter outside. To the open window fresh and cool air came into my room and a wonderful smell of clean air, the rain from the night and trees and grass flatters my nose and i love it. I i know that i can enjoy it in my new house much better. Because we have a terrace that goes around the whole house. I know very american. I will sit on a rocking chair with a hot chocolat in my hand and enjoy the early hours outside. Oh yes, this thought will make my day.

getting better grettings - eliza

[elizas-mindset]

My song of the day. I get goose bumps everytime.

emotional gretting - eliza

[elizas-mindset]

To day was good...i guess

To day was a good day...i guess. Nothing bad happens but i still have a worried feeling. I think, that´s because a lot of happend. For a couple of month we start to build a house and we hope that we move in this december. But i have the feeling there ist a little stop in everythning that we need for the house. And next week is a very important empointment where i get my heritage and this good because i need it for the house but i am very nervous becaus its with relatives, that could be going difficult with them. But i try to stay positive. Wish me luck.

By the way: i read a new book from Nikola Hotel. Really good.

mixed feeling grettings - eliza

[elizas-mindset]

Because of a person in my life

Did you have a person in your life (family or whatever) that don´t like you? And with "don´t like you" i mean that, this person can´t accept that your are exist, like the way you are. Unfortunately i am realted to this person and i really don´t now what i´ve done, to that the person, that they treat me like that. It hurts me because i kinda like this person. Sometimes i cry a lot or doubt everything that i do or wanna to do because i know this person don´t accept things that i do. Why? I don´t know. I know from related perosn from us, that i am to childish, to loud and maybe awkaward for this person. But i don´t wanna change my self for this person because my friends and my mom and stepdad love me like i am. So i know ,that i should give shit of that person but its hard. I am getting aggresive if someone talk about this person "in a good way" and actually i don´t want it to get aggresive. But i can´t let it inside. Well, i think it is how it is. By the way, Sorry for writing "this person" a lot. I wanted to keep it anonymous because i wanna that THIS PERSON is kinda save....i guess.

Well, injured grettings - eliza

[elizas-mindset]

This song give me everything right now. Well, maybe its cause of the movie After Love. But the song is great anywhere. With or with out the movie. Grettings from a afternator