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[elle-writes-things]

Person A: “Hey, were you expecting anyone? Because if not, then we might have been compromised.”

Person B: “…I’ll evacuate the others.”

Person A: “(Person C) and I will buy you some time… Don’t forget the files.”

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Person A: “I can’t believe I agreed to this…”

Person B: “Me either honestly, I was certain I was going to have to bribe you.”

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Person A: “…Well this is definitely a first.”

Person B: “I really wish I could say the same.”

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Person A: “How long have you been stuck like this?”

Person B: “…Longer than I’d like to admit.”

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Person A: “I know it’s bad luck to say that everything’s going a little too smoothly, but… everything really is going a little too smoothly, isn’t it?”

Person B: “Glad I’m not the only one that thinks something’s off.”

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Person A: “Oh come on, please? Just this once?”

Person B: “This is the fifth ‘Just This Once’ this week!”

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Would Soap be an f-boy because of his outrageous charm or would he be the guy everyone pines over but he never acts on anything because he’s too busy doing stuff?

Here’s what I think: Soap is happy to sleep with his friends, and happy to remain just friends afterwords. Often, that’s the arrangement that suits his lifestyle the best. He doesn’t have the time, he thinks, for a proper commitment.

And it’s easy! Soap is handsome, and charming, and friendly! And to top it off, he’s a generous lover, excited to experiment and uninhibited enough in his escapades to get a reputation of being really good at sex. People flock to him like moths to a lantern in the night, and then when he has to leave, he says his goodbyes and lets that be that. His partners move on to others, and when he comes home he shows them nothing but enthusiasm that they found their person.

He does not, though, show people that he wants his person, too. Deep down, like everyone else, Soap wants to go to bed with and wake up beside someone who makes him feel like even the worst days are worth getting through. He wants someone he can tell everything, and he wants to be the person someone tells everything to. He wants to be wanted, to be waited for, to be welcomed home. He wants to get to know someone’s body better than he knows his own, and he wants someone to be as fascinated by him as he is by them.

But he knows he’s not around enough. He knows being with him means being lonely more often than not. So he doesn’t go looking. He doesn’t try very hard to keep anyone. Maybe that breaks some hearts—I don’t know if he’d realize that. But he’d probably say it’s for the best, because he doesn’t have much to offer anyway.

So, Soap isn’t exactly a fuckboy. He doesn’t love ‘em and leave ‘em. But he doesn’t ask for much, either, because he thinks he’s not good enough for it.

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Person A: “Is…Is that a kid?”

Person B: “Yes.”

Person A: “…Why is there a kid in your office?”

Person B: “Because their last babysitter is now in jail, and I didn’t have enough time to do a background check on any new ones.”

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Shout-out to all the stories that didn't make it out of the shower with us in time to be actually written down.

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Me: “I have an idea for a story, time to write it.” Idea: Out of my skill level

Me: “Time to wait and hope it manifests.”

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Person A: “I swear, I did not do that on purpose!”

Person B: “Honestly, I’m not sure I’d believe you if you claimed you had.”

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Person A: “Hey, I…I’m pretty sure someone’s been following us for a couple of minutes now.”

Person B: “Four hours actually.”

Person A: “….What?”

Person B: “Why did you think I kept insisting on sticking to busy areas despite my dislike for people?”

Person A: “…”

Person B: “Take a left here.”

Person A: “…But this leads to an old service road, it’s a dead end.”

Person B: “…I know.”

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Person A: “I’m not sure how to say this without coming across as judgemental, but this seems… highly illegal.”

Person B: “Oh, that’s because it is! Or it would be, if I hadn’t gotten (Person C)’s written approval before hand.”

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Fuck you, I'm bringing back all of my shitty ocs from middle school and giving them the treatment they DESERVE

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[R/n is in a pissy mood and is snapping at everyone.]

Ghost: You’re really campaigning for bitch of the year, huh?

R/n: As the defending champion, are you nervous?

{Soap and Gaz nervously side-eye each other and bail before the bloodbath starts.]

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Soap: if Y/n and I were drowning, who would you save?

Ghost: you two can't swim?

Soap: it's a hypothetical question

Y/n: yeah, who would you save?

Ghost: my time and effort