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[ellisonrye-blog]

1 tequila, 2 tequila

4. Four is the number of tequila cocktails you think you have at the male staff works leaving do. One is the massive hangover you have the next day. 9 are the number of staff who now call you 'the Tequila Queen' when you return to work on the Monday morning. 12 is the number of tequilas you find out you actually had #everyone #had #a #story #don't #remember #much #tequila #Queen

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Because we always have to go to the shops

2. Two is the number of staff on the minibus trip to the cinema. Three is the number of phonecalls from the boss to get some items from the diy shop before you get there. One is the time you both switch off your mobiles to see the film in peace. Six is the number of missed calls you have once the film is finished. 8 is the time you both return back from the trip due to the detour. #ifitsnotb&q #itsbootsthechemist

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The five times you complain and nothing gets done

5. Five is the number of times you complain about a member of staff. One is the number of the written complaint you make about this person. One is the witness you have who saw one of the incidents take place. Zero is done about it. One is the complaint the other person puts in against you. One is the meeting that takes place about it. Three is the number of times you tell them about the witness. One reply from the boss is 'doesn't matter' #trustnoone #management #dont #care

[ellisonrye-blog]

The safari park trip

7. Seven is the summer month when your friends decide to visit the safari park. One is the driver who has a panic attack when he sees a lion who he says is bigger than the car. Five are the longest minutes he stops the car for to regain composure. Three is the number of passengers going into meltdown as the lion is jogging towards the car. Zero is the amount of sympathy you all have towards the driver #neveragain #almost #jurassic #meets #safari #park

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How many selfies is too many

15. Fifteen is the number of times one colleague posts to her Facebook page per day. One is the number of times you unfollow her #attention #onceisenough

[ellisonrye-blog]

5 honest women with 1 bad choice

5. Five is the number of women who have confessed to sleeping with the biggest moron in work. Seventeen is the number of other female staff who don’t get the attraction. Two is the number who don’t own up but we all know they did #wasntme

[ellisonrye-blog]

Words can hurt

20. Twenty is the number of times a colleague is being bullied by another member of staff. Twenty times the colleague complains to management. Two is the number of mediations that the colleague has tried to work things out with the bully. Three is the number of further complaints when the bully doesn't stop. One is the management response of 'can you not let this go' #zerotollerance #managementsucks #wordshurt #notimeforbullies

[ellisonrye-blog]

Do you need to have a life outside work?

6. Six is the number of days you've already worked when you're asked if you want to do more shifts. No is the answer. Four is the number of days off you have only to discover on day one of being back that you have been given an eight day shift. #whatsthepointinasking #bossesdontcare #noworklifebalance

[ellisonrye-blog]

Twelve days but who's counting?

12. Twelve is the number of days of weekends you have off in a year. Fifty-two is the number of weekends the boss’s family in the workplace has off in a year. #nepotism #whoscounting #whatsociallife

[ellisonrye-blog]

Sleeping on the job

10. Ten is the number of people who have been caught fast asleep when working on shift. Zero is the number of people who have been sacked due to this #grossmisconduct #apparently #managementdecisions

[ellisonrye-blog]

No more Mamma Mia, no more!

5. Five is the number of times in one week that everyone is made to suffer Mamma Mia. Three is the number of staff who are actually enjoying it. Seven is the number of male staff who are trying to leave the room before a crime is committed #dvdatrisk #mammamia #abbaisbanned

[ellisonrye-blog]

The diet starts today....or not

52. The fifty-two weeks a year you and your colleagues make a pact to start a diet and be more healthy. Three is the number of hours people start to wane and head for the biscuits. Two is the number of days you last before giving it another shot next week. #bepositive #lovechocolatetoomuch

[ellisonrye-blog]

My illness is better than your illness

2. The two ribs you broke when falling at home. One is the number to call your boss to tell them what's happened and why you can't come into work. One is the time they tell you they broke five ribs and still made it to work #broken #topthat

[ellisonrye-blog]

Double trouble

2. Two is the number of tv remote controls within the lounge. One is the app on the mobile that works with your smart tv and the tv in the staff lounge. Five is the number of staff enjoying watching the football. Five is the number of unhappy staff when they think the tv is broke when the channels appear to change all by themself. One is the handyman who can't understand why the tv isn't working. Two is your friends who know what's going on and disappear before they get caught laughing #sometimesannoyingpeoplecanbefun

[ellisonrye-blog]

Five Floors Up

5. The five times you've managed to blank out your team leader and the one minute you can hear an ice-cream van even though you're on the fifth floor of a busy office #gottalovea99 #ice-cream #flakeandraspberrysauce

[ellisonrye-blog]

The Unwritten Rule

9. Nine is the amount of friends lost as a colleague dated their best friends ex. Four is the number of months it went on for before anyone accidentally found out. One was the hour of difference when the colleague discovered how many friends they had were gone #secretsandlies #theunwrittenrule

[ellisonrye-blog]

The Elite Group

7. Seven people are in the elite group ruled by one. One is the person who chooses when to go and who can come along. Six are the others who invite other people. One is number of extra people who come along. The ruler one is very unhappy at the intrusion #thebitchisback