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I love when people have Very Specific Faces that get them cast as similar characters in movies over and over again.

Watching Tenant of Wildfell Hall and this main dude has Brooding Man In Period Piece Face.

And when I googled him, sure as shit, he’s played Mr. Rochester before.

I knew it!!! That’s exactly what your face and eyebrows belong in! That’s just right!

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Pride and Prejudice 2005 + Onion Headlines, part 2/3

Other Austen + Onion Headlines

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MUHTEŞEM YÜZYIL / MAGNIFICENT CENTURY Episode 62 (2012)

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Authors Convinced Fanfic is Illegal/Requires Permission

Terry Goodkind: “Copyright law dictates that in order for me to protect my copyright, when I find such things, I must go out and hire lawyers to threaten these people to make them stop, and to sue them if they don’t.”

John Scalzi: “Let's remember one fundamental thing about fanfic: Almost all of it is entirely illegal to begin with. It's the wild and wanton misappropriation of copyrighted material”

Diana Gabaldon: “OK, my position on fan-fic is pretty clear: I think it’s immoral, I know it’s illegal, and it makes me want to barf whenever I’ve inadvertently encountered some of it involving my characters.”

Robin Hobb: “Fan fiction is like any other form of identity theft. It injures the name of the party whose identity is stolen.”

Anne Rice: “I do not allow fan fiction. The characters are copyrighted. It upsets me terribly to even think about fan fiction with my characters. I advise my readers to write your own original stories with your own characters. It is absolutely essential that you respect my wishes.”

Anne McCaffrey: “there can be no adventure/stories set on Pern at all!!!!! That's infringing on my copyright and can bear heavy penalties…indiscriminate usage of our characters, worlds, and concepts on a 'public' media like electronic mail constitute copyright infringement AND, which many fans disregard, is ACTIONABLE!”

Chelsea Quinn Yarbro: “No. Absolutely not. It is also against federal law.”

Lynn Flewelling: “Whether you are writing about Seregil or Fox Mulder or Sherlock Holmes, if you do not have legal permission from the author, their estate, or publisher, then you are violating US copyright law. It is creative piracy. Doesn't matter how many disclaimers you put on, or if you're being paid. It. Is. Illegal.”

Someone Else, elaborated in the notes

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Consider:

You died with a remarkable fortune and no heirs. You grant your wealth to two rivalling schools in the same city, under one condition: One of them must always keep your preserved skull. They may keep it on display (therefore attracting interest and potentially fame to the school) but that always raises the risk of students of the other school stealing it. The students and staff of the other school have not only the right, but the duty to do so at any opportunity. Nobody can be arrested for this unless they're caught breaking some other law.

Ideally, the students of the two schools keep stealing your skull, back and forth, forever. The culture of both of the schools is enriched by this activity, the students are too busy engaged in these harmless shenanigans to drift into worse habits and behaviours, and you get to be included in countless nonsensically frivolous heist operations whose sole purpose is to bring more fun into the world.

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The trick to stop being so introvert is getting friends who are even more introvert than you, so you have to stop being so introvert and become the extrovert of the friend group because otherwise no one will order the pizza

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I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you

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“no matter how badly you think you’re doing it, someone else has done it a lot worse and been fine” is applicable to a wide, wide range of things and i say it to myself all the time

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Ladybugs ride on wind currents to the mountains so they can hibernate under the snow during winter. If you even care

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Okay i know i myself have made jokes on Mr Darcy hating to spend time with Mr. Collins but. I feel like of the two of them Darcy is probably significantly less annoyed than Lizzie by Collins simply bc 1) he never received The most obnoxious proposal in the world from him 2) the combination of Darcy's superior rank and his not being an Elegant Female puts him in a position to just tell Collins to stop talking and probably be thanked for the privilege. Darcy probably just lets him talk for five minutes and then is all "hm. I'd like to meditate on that in silence for a while. Very intriguing." And gets like an hour of peace

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I wish you'd write a fic where the Bennets were a family of Regency artists, with Mr. Bennet a semi-respected member of the Academy, and his daughters various minaturists and portrait painters. I suppose to keep everyone in the same segment of Regency culture, Mr. Darcy would then be a fancy history painter who's been to Italy and won awards, who's captivated by Elizabeth Bennet's singular ability to paint lover's eye jewelry.

OH FUCK YEAH that would be so good! Mr Bennet would I think be a Hogarth type better known for his low brow satire than his very good portraits with a massive chip on his shoulder because he mostly self-taught, Jane would do Mary Cassat (wrong era but still...Vigèe Le Brun often did the same sort of thing but Cassat was more domestic) mother-and-child portraits? Kitty would keep sneezing all over her practice still lifes full of flowers because of an undiagnosed allergies. Mary...would do really stiff neoclassical things and be hugely uncomfortable with anatomy. Lydia would try and set herself up as the next Lady Hamilton.

And yeah Darcy would be a history painter! Sulking about how he keeps having to put off visiting Paris because of the damned war and all that. The big revelation could be that while he’s a huge dick to his artistic rivals and has a low opinion of ‘crafts’ (in character both for Darcy and, uh, artists of this era generally) he has a wildly good reputation with models for being respectful and paying really good rates and having a handily child-proofed studio for when you can’t find a babysitter. Colonel Fitzwilliam could...do some sort of engineering maybe. Comes from the sculptor side of the family but pivoted into more lucrative firearm designing. (Maybe. I’m not sure how closely the various ‘works with brass’ fields were interconnected. Hogarth was I think an apprentice silversmith for a while.)

...would I dare make Wickham a transplant from baroque-era Italy who is better known for getting into violent fights than salon exhibits? He’d be a fan of Caravaggio for sure.

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I'm rewatching Pride and Prejudice 2005 and the framing of that oddly-staged scene at the end where Darcy proposes strongly suggests that (immediately after bursting into the Bennet household in the middle of the night, interrogating one of the daughters of the house at top volume while her baffled family eavesdropped, and sweeping out in fury) Lady Catherine DESCENDED ON NETHERFIELD IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS to vent her rage at Darcy. Which means Bingley must have either been awake for this conversation - did she interrupt late-night billiards and tipsy delight about Bingley's accepted proposal? - or have been woken up to deal with this whole fuckin'... situation. I mean can you imagine that from Bingley's point of view?

BINGLEY: Lady Catherine! What an unexpected -

BINGLEY: I trust you find Darcy well, I hope no, um, illness in the fa-

BINGLEY: ... Lady Catherine perhaps you would like to have this conversation with Darcy somewhere more private?

BINGLEY: ... Darcy I think your aunt is overwrought, I'll speak to the housekeeper and -

BINGLEY: - Darcy, you proposed to Miss Elizabeth and you didn't tell me?!

BINGLEY: Your ladyship I am sorry to hear you have taken all of Hertfordshire in distaste, but really -

And then I assume she either shakes the dust of Meryton and its environs from her feet entirely, slamming the door behind her, or goes up to a guest bedroom? Because she must have driven through the night, and those horses must be exhausted. Could she have continued on to a posting inn?

Did she, in fact, go to bed rigid with rage and receive the news that Mr Darcy had actually gone and PROPOSED to Elizabeth Bennet and had been accepted along with her breakfast the following morning?

BINGLEY: This is either the best or the worst shooting party I have ever organised.

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Pride and Prejudice 1995 text posts, part 1 of ?

More: Sense and Sensibility 1995 text posts | Northanger Abbey 2007 text posts | Emma. 2020 text posts

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an underrated detail in pride and prejudice is that elizabeth bennett was home alone on the day darcy proposed because she had a headache. can you imagine. this was in the pre-painkillers era. you're at home with a headache and then this asshole walks into the room and tells you he loves you and wants to marry you even though he hates your whole family and you're beneath him. imagine having to deal with that while also having a headache. she doesn't even have ibuprofen

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My eternal Pride& Prejudice headcanon is that Darcy had a kind, if rather formal and stiff, proposal prepared the first time he proposed to Eliszabeth but the moment he saw her his brain deleted all relevant information as well as the last few struggling social skills and out came every single reason against a marriage to Elizabeth which he had contemplated in preparation of defending his choice to Lady Catherine.

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