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Parenting Reflection

The most surprising thing about being a parent was the amount of energy it takes to control your child. When I say control, I mean to calm them down and to keep them from doing anything horrendous. I realized that parenting is a job that doesn’t pay you yet you work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s amazing how something you created can take over your life in an instant. When I was younger, I wasn’t the biggest mischievous child but I had my days of not listening. My parents were balancing taking care of me and my two older brothers, one of them who has autism. It must have been difficult to take care of us 3 and I will always be grateful for them.

A valuable lesson I learned regarding childhood development is that children actually DO go through a phase in which they go rebellious and that with the right parenting, you can teach your child the rights and wrongs of the world. Another thing I learned was that children don’t really think about their actions and their effects. I can apply this to whenever I babysit my younger cousins.

Raising this flour child did seem to be raising a real child. This simulation taught me and everyone else the importance of taking care of something else. We were taught to be careful with it, to protect it as if our lives had depended on it. Raising a real living child would have been different in the sense that the child is very unpredictable. If Luna were real, maybe her feeding habits would have been strange. The biggest challenge of being a teen mom would be receiving backlash from the older generation. Many of those who were born in the older generation are firm believers of marrying and having kids in their 20s. The second biggest challenge would be balancing school and a job and taking care of the child. Many teen parents drop out of school in order to raise their child in the best conditions. They get jobs that may start early and end late.

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Luna at the age of 4! Oh how time flies 😫

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My Preschooler (ages 3-4)

Luna is now in preschool! Wow, how time flies by so fast D; She has grown out of her Parallel Play stage and is now making friends with people at preschool! I remember when she was 3 years old and still in the Piaget’s Preoperational Stage, where she did not apply any logic into anything which resulted in her running around and thinking she all high and mighty. Being 4 really changes you, I guess haha. She’s super sad whenever I have to pick her up and she hugs her friends!! Whenever we are at home, she tends to grab some paper from the living room and some of the crayons I bought her and she likes to draw! I’m trying to teach her to draw some stars but it has been proven difficult to say the least. I also bought her a nightlight because she has developed the fear of the dark. Understandable, I think almost all of us were afraid of the dark when we were kids. She also memorized One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, and it’s gotten so bad that I have it memorized. Yikes. Luna is a ball fo sunshine now, totally opposite from when she was younger. She runs around the house and likes to hike! Hiking, of all things it had to be hiking. My legs are sore as we speak. She rarely stops talking too. Whatever new word she learns, I will have most likely heard it 10 times from her. It’s a rollercoaster.

As a parent, I try to discipline my child in a way where my child will learn from her mistake and to not attempt whatever she did again. It kind of bases off of Piaget’s Theory of Moral Realism where kids judge between the right or bad choices based on consequences. Regarding discipline, I would say I follow the Authoritative style. This means that I set rules and tell my child why I did such and if my child still questions, I try to help her understand. The Authoritarian style just doesn’t click with kids and it really hurts them and keeps them quiet. if feel like that style also teaches kids that you should never question anything, which is a total false in my books. Luna and I were at home when she had asked me for candy to eat. I was making dinner at the time so I told her that we could have some tomorrow. She started crying and I calmly told her to stop crying and had to explain to her that you can’t have candy for dinner. I told her that candy is very bad for her and that she could feel l=sick when eating it, unlike the super healthy Caesar Salad I made her. She then settled down and we ate dinner, which she LOVED!! 

Link regarding Authoritative vs. Authoritarian Parenting Styles: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thinking-about-kids/201409/authoritative-vs-authoritarian-parenting-style

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Luna grew so much hair!! Pictured is her in her grandpa's car! She spent to day with her grandad, it was fun I heard!

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A small throwback to the day she was born!! I brought her with me to school and it was an experience!

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My Toddler (age 1-2)

I have super exciting news!! As of now, Luna started walking!! She still has to grab onto things for support, but this is such a milestone I’m crying D; She now loves to climb up and down our staircase, but it’s kind of nerve-wracking to watch because what if she falls because she might miss a step?? Anyway, it all worked out in the end and now she just LOVES to explore the house! Luna went through the One Word Stage, meaning that she only responds and talks with one word. It goes from gibberish to one word. How did that happen?  Also, she LOVES to play! She always wants to play with her teddy bear, which has a Santa hat (SUPER adorable by the way). Something that isn’t the best is that she has her fair share of tantrums. When she wants something, she’ll start crying and I only give in 50% of the time. Discipline is pretty important but very hard to teach at a very young age. 

At the age of 2 though, that’s when things got interesting. Many people call this age the Terrible Twos, which I now understand. She is now a small, defiant little girl who just does not listen! It’s so hard to ask her to not do something because she just ends up doing it and when I tell her to stop she’ll just keep going or she’ll start screaming! Infuriating, if I say so myself. Besides this stage, she can now talk and respond with more than 1 word, but it’s kind of more like 2 and 3 words, but it’s an improvement!! This Two Word Stage enables me to listen to my child talk in sentences containing two to three words, which mainly consist of a noun and a verb. Very humorous if I say so myself. I took Luna to my friend’s house and my friend had brought her cousin with her. Her little cousin is about the same age as Luna and they were playing in the sandbox in my friend’s backyard. For some odd reason, they played in the sandbox, but not together. I found out this was called Parallel Play, where they play in the same location yet there is no interaction going on whatsoever. She also loves it when I read The Very Hungry Caterpillar. She just never wants to read another book, but I’ll eventually get her into Barbie or Dr. Suess, she’s in for a surprise.

Since she can now walk, I had to childproof many of our rooms. I have locked gates on the stairs and going into the kitchen and bathrooms. The stairs was a for sure type of deal because she could hurt herself if she accidentally fell down. So it’s much safer for that to be installed. And it’s also hard for me to open the gate so if I have trouble, she would most likely have trouble as well. Regarding technology, I really only let her watch on Saturday but it’s limited to what is on. if she doesn’t like it, she’ll usually just play with her toys. I don’t really want to expose her to a lot of technology because I’ve heard it can slow child development, and I want my child to grown and learn well. A challenge I had with raising her was dealing with her tantrums. As I grew up, I was disciplined with a cloth hanger but it wasn’t a super strict type of discipline. I think with Luna, she listens well but when she has her tantrums, it’s hard to deal with. A solution I read and tried was to keep my calm and try to talk to them by saying “I’ll listen but only if you stop crying” and it worked!!

Link to article: http://www.momjunction.com/articles/parenting-problems-solutions_0074354/#gref

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Luna eating her first solid food! Blueberries are very healthy, which makes it even greater!!

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Me and Luna when she was born!! picture credits to my friend who I was facetiming!

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My Infant (age 0-1)

Baby Luna has achieved many new milestones in her first year of life. Motor development includes many milestone achievements. When she was 4 months old, she started to roll all over her little bed, and she just could not stop!! And then at 6 months, she was able to sit up BY HERSELF!! It’s just super cute and I love it so much! Pictures will be uploaded soon, just you all wait. She is also starting to get super attached to me, which makes it so hard to put her down in her bed and not complain if I want to go make something to eat. But at around 8 months, she starts to develop stranger anxiety, the fear of strangers. So whenever I take her out, she always likes to hide in my shoulder, which is also SUPER CUTE!! She also said her first word today! She said “mama” and I cried inside, such an amazing moment. 

One major parenting decision I had to make was to switch to a newborn formula for feeding my child. Breastfeeding babies is very important as they are able to create a better immune system, helping them withstand infections and other conditions. Breast milk naturally contains all vitamins a newborn needs as well. Breast milk is also free, unlike formula. Despite all of these good things about breastfeeding, there are some advantages to using formula as well. The formula is very convenient and it can also help create a bond with the child and the father as well. But in this case, that is irrelevant. Since the formula is less digestible than breastmilk, I do not have to feed my child as often as well.

Link for breast feeding: https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/breast-bottle-feeding.html

Second Link: https://www.webmd.com/baby/breastfeeding-vs-formula-feeding

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Pregnancy and Prenatal Development

I am in the 3rd part of the trimester and the kicks are pretty noticeable now. In the first 12 weeks, my child is in the fetal stage. She has fingers and toes, she is forming baby teeth, and her heart is almost fully developed! Many weeks later, I went to get a checkup with my doctor. Good news, my baby is looking pretty healthy at a weight of 2 and a quarter pounds and 14.8 inches long at week 28. That is the size of an eggplant but to be quite honest, they feel like the mini watermelons. My fetus has been growing at a normal rate, which makes me happy that my child is growing to be a healthy one.

Before the fetus stage was the embryonic stage, where her major organ systems were developing. They were not functional until later in the fetal stage. As my child was in the embryonic stage, the placenta (a flattened circular organ) allows for the flow of nutrients from me into my baby. This is very important for the child as this is its main source of nutrients. 

The most challenging thing about this pregnancy has been being able to do simple things in the house. I like to do things on my own, which led to raising my child as a single parent, and so things such as getting up from the couch to make food or getting the remote get to be hard. The cravings have also been hard too. I’ve been craving macaroni and cheese for too many weeks that I had to give into my cravings and buy myself many boxes of Kraft’s Mac ‘N Cheese.

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Our Family!

Hello to the Tumblr community! 

My name is Emily and I have great news! Today, I found out the gender of my flour baby! I was very anxious before the reveal and I can proudly say that I am having a girl! Her name is Luna, meaning moon in Latin. I just found it to be such a pretty name and I was deciding on whether I wanted to name her Luna or Amber, and Luna prevailed! And also, they’re names of two Korean singers in a band called f(x) and we know how I enjoy Korean music :).

I will be raising my biological child on my own as I believe my child will be able to learn independence at a young age. I also think that being a single parent will help with trust and communication between us. Research shows that being a single mother may have many negative effects such as stress levels and juggling many responsibilities, but I think that despite all those negative effects, my child will be able to strive in this situation. I would do anything to make sure my child was on a good pathway to a good future.

Luna is my biological child, meaning that I, myself, gave birth to her. I’m glad that I will be able to give birth to her because of my belief in a stronger bond between us two. I don’t think any beats the connection between a mother and her first born, so I am happy that I am pregnant. I don’t think I would be able to adopt a child because the child would not present who I am, and I feel like parents love hearing that their child resembles them. It gives them a feeling like “Yeah, that’s my kid.” And also, there’s a finding where kids who are adopted could struggle with identity and self-esteem.

As an up and coming parent, my main concern is if I’m doing enough for my child. When do I know when she needs to be fed? How do I know what she wants? When she wants something? I’m worried about if I will be able to find someone to watch her during my practices and other events. Because I don’t trust my kid to be with my coaches at all and I can’t leave her in the car, which is pretty problematic. But overall, I’m looking forward to this learning experience as a new parent! Wish me luck haha!

Some reference links to adopting kids and single-parent households:

https://www.kon.org/urc/v7/bronnimann.html

http://www.americanadoptions.com/adopt/difference_in_parenting_an_adopted_child