elodieunderglass - Tumblr blog

[elodieunderglass]

Aww my kids have that puddlesuit too

[elodieunderglass]

THE HOBBIT IS THE ONE THAT STARTS THE UNION???

I haven’t watched Dungeon Meshi, but I always enjoy the dashboard osmosis experience and have a peculiar visual memory. Here is what I believe Dungeon Meshi to be mostly about. No complicating experiences with the text, or indeed character references, fed into this extremely clear vision, which I believe I torrented directly from the astral plane at the same time as the creator was logged on

[elodieunderglass]

Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post

[elodieunderglass]

[elodieunderglass]

I think a very important unwritten piece of locked tomb canon is that corona and ianthe are absolutely both writing home regularly to mummy throughout the entire series - not with any helpful plot points or anything, they just want pocket money. Their mother, hatefully running a planet that she also hates, has the knack of silently wiring pocket money in an incredibly nasty and hurtful way - despite not accompanying it with a note or anything - just a sort of careful psychic warfare involving timing, amounts of money, the transfer service, etc.

(Although at at one point she asks if one of them has Babs, or if he’s dead or what. Corona ghosts her and ianthe texts back “who”)

Anyway, breaking off your meeting with god or the rebels or whatever because mummy has just sent you $465.73 in THEE bitchiest possible way

[elodieunderglass]

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

[elodieunderglass]

I was like, this cannot have been a fever dream because I know SPECIFICALLY that my good friend from NCT classes sold Usborne for a bit and got disgusted. It is a KNOWN THING. But I looked into it a bit more because it is incredibly bonkers when you think about it.

In short, the “direct selling” arm of Usborne is separate from the publishing arm, which is respectable and good quality.

It’s interesting because Usborne isn’t the kind of predatory MLM that actively tries to strip cash from the poor people who get tricked into it. It’s just a really bad method where the company itself undermines its own direct sellers. the left hand of a company sells the poor parents a box of books and tells them to sell the books for a certain price, while the right hand of the company allows Asda (British Walmart) to buy and sell the exact same books at a cheaper price. Asda carries the “That’s not my…” line at like £5 a pop and is RIGHT THERE, while these poor local sellers are trying to shift the same books for £8 at local craft fairs and car boot sales, in an incredibly depressing spiral that nobody actually wants.

Here’s a documented experience about it: https://mlmtruth.org/2018/11/11/uncovering-usborne-my-mlm-experience/

Honestly thought I'd never hear the word "usborne" again. My mom used to live and breathe that company, and while I certainly don't regret a fair chunk, I do find it amusing as I look back now. I legitimately thought it had fallen off faster than Juice+.

In reference to a post where i mention my kid has the usborne “see inside germs” book.

So if people don’t know, usborne is a weird publishing company that has done indispensable books for British children for generations; they’re in every library, school and nursery, and have shelves devoted to them in every bookstore. They are how many people learned to read, and are the originators of many hyper focuses. They’re famed for doing educational lift the flap books for all ages, like “see inside your body”, as well as as the ubiquitous touch-and-feel series, “that’s not my….” In which a mouse comments improbably on various creatures not being their creature. “That’s not my dragon,” the mouse says, inviting you to stroke a dragon with a patch of fur on it, “its tummy is too soft. That’s not my dragon,” on the next page, where the dragon’s ears are lined with textured paper, “its ears are too bumpy.” This seems like such an inefficient way to find one’s missing dragon, a fact that simmers underneath you through endless repetition. Why does the mouse own so many things (pirates, ducks, polar bears) and why is it interrogating other people’s pirates etc by feeling their legs.

At any rate, turn a parents’ house upside down and these books fall out.

Which is why it’s completely hilarious that they are also an MLM.

Well. Kind of. In the old school sense. It’s less about signing up a pyramid scheme and more about getting a random citizen to buy a crate of perfectly popular books and try to sell them on from their home. It’s very traditional for Mums On Maternity Leave to do this. Pre-social media and online ordering, they’d hook up other mums at toddler group. Today, they post awkwardly on social media. The idea is that buying from another parent is cheaper than the bookstore, and they get to keep the markup. They get intense about things, and I believe they attend conferences. Nobody makes a huge amount of money and it’s unclear how undercutting local bookstores is helpful; it’s also basically the same RRP as Amazon I think.

And the books are perfectly respectable and sell perfectly well in bookstores.

So. Like. This marketing scheme is completely weird. Why?? Why does it still exist? People buy the books normally! You don’t need to promote them aggressively! You don’t need elaborate independent local middlemen schemes! You can just buy them! I have never understood this. I just file it under one of those weird mat leave hustles.

But don’t worry OP. They’re still going. They’ll never stop. The thing is that your mom got bored and online sales probably ate whatever residual profit margins were left and it’s probably very liberating for everyone to grow out of the “that’s not my cow” stage, but Usborne books are going strong.

[elodieunderglass]

Honestly thought I'd never hear the word "usborne" again. My mom used to live and breathe that company, and while I certainly don't regret a fair chunk, I do find it amusing as I look back now. I legitimately thought it had fallen off faster than Juice+.

In reference to a post where i mention my kid has the usborne “see inside germs” book.

So if people don’t know, usborne is a weird publishing company that has done indispensable books for British children for generations; they’re in every library, school and nursery, and have shelves devoted to them in every bookstore. They are how many people learned to read, and are the originators of many hyper focuses. They’re famed for doing educational lift the flap books for all ages, like “see inside your body”, as well as as the ubiquitous touch-and-feel series, “that’s not my….” In which a mouse comments improbably on various creatures not being their creature. “That’s not my dragon,” the mouse says, inviting you to stroke a dragon with a patch of fur on it, “its tummy is too soft. That’s not my dragon,” on the next page, where the dragon’s ears are lined with textured paper, “its ears are too bumpy.” This seems like such an inefficient way to find one’s missing dragon, a fact that simmers underneath you through endless repetition. Why does the mouse own so many things (pirates, ducks, polar bears) and why is it interrogating other people’s pirates etc by feeling their legs.

At any rate, turn a parents’ house upside down and these books fall out.

Which is why it’s completely hilarious that they are also an MLM.

Well. Kind of. In the old school sense. It’s less about signing up a pyramid scheme and more about getting a random citizen to buy a crate of perfectly popular books and try to sell them on from their home. It’s very traditional for Mums On Maternity Leave to do this. Pre-social media and online ordering, they’d hook up other mums at toddler group. Today, they post awkwardly on social media. The idea is that buying from another parent is cheaper than the bookstore, and they get to keep the markup. They get intense about things, and I believe they attend conferences. Nobody makes a huge amount of money and it’s unclear how undercutting local bookstores is helpful; it’s also basically the same RRP as Amazon I think.

And the books are perfectly respectable and sell perfectly well in bookstores.

So. Like. This marketing scheme is completely weird. Why?? Why does it still exist? People buy the books normally! You don’t need to promote them aggressively! You don’t need elaborate independent local middlemen schemes! You can just buy them! I have never understood this. I just file it under one of those weird mat leave hustles.

But don’t worry OP. They’re still going. They’ll never stop. The thing is that your mom got bored and online sales probably ate whatever residual profit margins were left and it’s probably very liberating for everyone to grow out of the “that’s not my cow” stage, but Usborne books are going strong.

[elodieunderglass]

@hound-of-heaven tag promotion. Also Mummy does have some regular interaction with God, since the “wealth” of Ida is relentless resource extraction to fuel a system of lifeless planets and an unendingly expanding Empire, and also they aren’t allowed to be too overtly “rich” because God sees red about that, so they have this delicate balance of placation and conciliation while still being cunty and power-crazed.

Anyway whenever the conversation touches on the dead twin princesses, he knows she knows and she knows he knows, but she is actually quite insulated by genuinely not caring, and therefore when probed with increasing urgency about the dead twin princesses she simply says things like “oh, she’d do anything for attention”.

Where is Coronabeth? “Oh, making an exhibition of herself, I’m sure.”

Are you in contact with Ianthe? “Oh I never talk to dead people darling; they’re so self-absorbed and all they do is howl. Not that you can tell the difference with Ianthe.”

It’s just that her bedroom is neverendingly full of cheap fast fashion and the mithraeum doesn’t have a Primark and Primark hasn’t existed for 10,000 years. “Dreadful for you, darling…”

How are you in contact with Ianthe? “Who?”

We think the twins have eaten each other and vanished again and are possibly seriously undead. “Anything for attention,” Mummy says contemptuously, instantly firing off half the normal amount of pocket money into a joint account in a way that neatly criticises whatever disgusting new kind of incest they’ve invented while pointing out that neither of them look good in babs

I think a very important unwritten piece of locked tomb canon is that corona and ianthe are absolutely both writing home regularly to mummy throughout the entire series - not with any helpful plot points or anything, they just want pocket money. Their mother, hatefully running a planet that she also hates, has the knack of silently wiring pocket money in an incredibly nasty and hurtful way - despite not accompanying it with a note or anything - just a sort of careful psychic warfare involving timing, amounts of money, the transfer service, etc.

(Although at at one point she asks if one of them has Babs, or if he’s dead or what. Corona ghosts her and ianthe texts back “who”)

Anyway, breaking off your meeting with god or the rebels or whatever because mummy has just sent you $465.73 in THEE bitchiest possible way

[elodieunderglass]

this is exactly it.their psychic waves of triangulation and nastiness already transcend death, truth, spacetime & etc. so it’s completely unreasonable that the secret spacebase of the emperor undying not receive a shipping container of ianthe’s shittiest party dresses and half used makeup , spitefully packed. Yes of course we know she’s dead it’s very unfortunate (many such cases) she’ll definitely need her half used makeup from her ‘thought I had deep winter mystique with a light spring skintone’ era in the afterlife. mummy x

I think a very important unwritten piece of locked tomb canon is that corona and ianthe are absolutely both writing home regularly to mummy throughout the entire series - not with any helpful plot points or anything, they just want pocket money. Their mother, hatefully running a planet that she also hates, has the knack of silently wiring pocket money in an incredibly nasty and hurtful way - despite not accompanying it with a note or anything - just a sort of careful psychic warfare involving timing, amounts of money, the transfer service, etc.

(Although at at one point she asks if one of them has Babs, or if he’s dead or what. Corona ghosts her and ianthe texts back “who”)

Anyway, breaking off your meeting with god or the rebels or whatever because mummy has just sent you $465.73 in THEE bitchiest possible way

[elodieunderglass]

I think a very important unwritten piece of locked tomb canon is that corona and ianthe are absolutely both writing home regularly to mummy throughout the entire series - not with any helpful plot points or anything, they just want pocket money. Their mother, hatefully running a planet that she also hates, has the knack of silently wiring pocket money in an incredibly nasty and hurtful way - despite not accompanying it with a note or anything - just a sort of careful psychic warfare involving timing, amounts of money, the transfer service, etc.

(Although at at one point she asks if one of them has Babs, or if he’s dead or what. Corona ghosts her and ianthe texts back “who”)

Anyway, breaking off your meeting with god or the rebels or whatever because mummy has just sent you $465.73 in THEE bitchiest possible way

[elodieunderglass]

Anastasia Trusova, “And the sunset came” Acrylic on canvas / 60 x 80 cm / 2022

[elodieunderglass]

Yes, Cymbalaria muralis (translation: cymbal(shaped leaves) of the city) a plant of southern Europe and the alps, commonly grown elsewhere as a nice colonist for stone walls and paths and therefore naturalised in the uk as a wildflower (actually, possibly should be called a feralflower!) it’s too well-behaved to receive the “invasive” label, and few other plants actually want to climb up a stone wall.

Common names include: ivy -leafed toadflax, Kenilworth Ivy, Oxford ivy, coliseum ivy, mother of thousands (MULTIPLE plants are called this though), climbing sailor, and wandering sailor. The “sailing” element is probably due to the fact that people knew it had come from abroad and was now wandering about.

Apparently in French, Ruine-de-Rome (ruin of Rome). This and the “coliseum ivy” name are probably because its native habitat included scrambling about in Roman ruins in southern Italy!

In German, Zimbelkraut (cymbal herb.) a callback to the apparently cymbal shaped leaves.

A nice source was this blog post: https://frustratedgardener.com/2019/04/14/plant-profile-ivy-leaved-toadflax/

English Heritage has produced a document stating that wandering sailor doesn’t cause damage to historical buildings and stonework “except in exceptional circumstances” and should be left untouched.

I always stop and look when I see these two plants together because they’re making a little love letter!

Forget-me-not, wandering sailor

[elodieunderglass]

(Slaps roof of pome) You can fit so many folk names for wildflowers in this baby

I always stop and look when I see these two plants together because they’re making a little love letter!

Forget-me-not, wandering sailor

[elodieunderglass]

No it is, you’re right, you’ve nailed it

My boyfriend is trying to explain cricket to me again. “He’s only got two balls to make 48 runs”, he says. The camera focuses on a man. Underneath him it says LEFT ARM FAST MEDIUM. A ball flies into the stands and presumably fractures someone’s skull. “There’s a free six”, my boyfriend says. 348 SIXES says the screen. A child in the audience waves a sign referencing Weet-Bix

[elodieunderglass]

Note that this only works if you tag things. I only reliably tag horrible things with legs. With other posts I often don’t tag, or don’t think about tagging it with what people will remember most about it and search for later. 

However, I do love what happens as a result.

Want to find my original Elder Teletubbies post? The original isn’t tagged anything helpful, so tumblr can’t find it, but if I put “elder Teletubbies” in a search engine… there’s a whole world of content that doesn’t reach me, including a guy who sells plushies and t-shirts based on my post, and a YouTube video with 648k views thinking that guy invented it. Like picking up something you dropped in the garden to find the woodlice underneath have claimed it for their own and formed a religion around it. And also the original post.

Want to find the comic where I draw myself as a swan thanking the concept of jealousy? Surprisingly difficult unless I sometimes remember that I probably tagged it “a swan in a Santa hat.” (The swan in the comic is not wearing a Santa hat.) tumblr search can’t find this post again but upon googling “elodieunderglass jealousy” we find it referenced in a self-help book.

Wanted to find an ask meme I didn’t write myself and wouldn’t have tagged? Googling it randomly led me to discover that my one of my answers to the ask meme was quoted and used as the title of a scientific paper about dating (awesome, you’re doing great besties.)

Tumblr cannot find my moby dick rewriting, even though I know personally that the op was tagged (reasonably) #Mody bick. Through search engines we find the post, and also incidentally learn that the people who reposted it on boingboing were disgusted by the transparency of this marketing ploy (apparently the 1800s out-of-copyright whale novel market is reaching.)

So no, you can’t find any post on tumblr like this. No it isn’t easy. No it isn’t literally any post. No, no, don’t correct me. I like it like this. It’s absurd

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims)