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am I bad at keeping in touch with ppl or do ppl just not want to hang out with me
#tumblr diary#ive been trying to arrange meetups with a couple of friends#and both times they're like ah we'll just see how it goes#like what do we not settle on a date?#I would clear my schedule for you but you cant make time for me#sigh#like is it a me problem? is this how ppl normally arrange hangouts#guess I just have to wait and see#tired of trying to guess what's going on in people's heads when it's really not that deep#overthinking strikes again!
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see the difference between sisters and friends is that only sisters can make you feel that sudden inexplicable surge of irritation for the smallest thing ever
case in point I asked my sister to return my backpack (which is mine and I paid for with my money) and she gave a look of irritation which in turn irritated me and now we are both annoyed with each other. See? You dont get that with friends.
#love my sisters tho#but I really feel like killing them sometimes#sibling things#the worst part is when all our periods sync up collectively#and it just becomes an all-out hormone war#always fun when that happens#tumblr diary#elsthoughts
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Kill me now I literally cannot get out of bed... it’s 1:52pm and I have been awake for the past 20 mins or so but I just can’t. Get out. Of bed.
This bodes well for the new year 😃
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Maybe this is why I’m so drawn to Diluc & Kaeya reconciliation fics
lowkey upset rn because I thought we were gonna have a nice family lunch together but then my two feuding siblings had to go ruin it. I really, really miss when my family was whole.
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lowkey upset rn because I thought we were gonna have a nice family lunch together but then my two feuding siblings had to go ruin it. I really, really miss when my family was whole.
#one sibling hates the other’s guts#and the worst part is that I have no idea why#they never told us what happened#just suddenly out of the blue one sibling decided to move out of the house#I mean they still come back from time to time#but you never see one interacting with the other unless absolutely necessary#so yeah this sucks#els's blog#elsthoughts#tumblr diary#family problems#lol
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Last exam
Never really updated with how the cramming 12 weeks of content into 7 days went. Overall I'm quite impressed by how much I was able to accomplish, even if I felt like death near the end.
To date, I've finished 3 final exams last week, and I have one last one tomorrow. Still haven't finished studying for that one (lol) but overall it's going alright.
How do I think my grades will be? No idea. I think I did decently enough to snag myself an A-. I have barely any confidence I can get an A though... which is a bit disappointing, but not surprising considering I literally started studying one week before finals.
Will I do this again? I hope not, but future me has a tendency to not learn from any of past me's mistakes. I really hope next sem I will be better disciplined to start studying earlier and actually revise the content right after lecture, instead of waiting till before finals.
All's well that ends well? I am really looking forward to the holidays.
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Day 3/7 of cramming 12 weeks of content into 7 days
It’s getting worse and worse LOL. I did feel a lot better this morning because I managed to get nearly 7 hours of sleep (amazing) but then my sinus decided to act up halfway through the day, resulting in a persistent headache at my forehead :”(
On the bright side, today’s content was a lot easier than expected! Was really worried about the content because I remember attending lectures and not understanding a thing that was going on, but turns out uni lecturers are just bad at teaching and the content was actually much easier than it seemed. Idk whyyy uni profs have to make things so unnecessarily complicated :((
The not-so-bright side, unfortunately, is that I am slowly losing steam. Tomorrow I’m going to school a lot later to study, and I think I’ll probably attend my CCA as well. That means I have less time to study than the previous days… I hope I can get it all done. I am also so, so tired… my brain feels like it’s been shoved into a blender. My eyes hurt.
I really don’t know how I’m going to survive the next four days. The worst part is that it won’t even be over after four days, I still have another whole week’s worth of exams… man. School.
Really hoping I won’t fall sick. It might help if I played less Genshin, but honestly it’s the only thing keeping me sane at this point.
:)
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Day 2/7 of cramming 12 weeks of content into 7 days
Wahh today was. Not good.
Firstly I slept at 3am, which as we all know is not the healthiest thing to do… I originally planned to wake at 8:45am, but my body said nOPE and I couldn’t physically get out of bed till like. 9:10am. which is not even that bad, all things considered.
Buttt by the time I finally left the house and reached school, it was already nearly 11am, and I was (am?) sooo tired and I felt like nodding off every two seconds. I actually did put my head down and close my eyes for like 5-10 minutes. Several times.
Took me a while to get warmed up, and it was quite depressing to find out that the content for the day had so much memorisation required? And here I was hoping I could just stuff it all in my cheatsheet and not actually need to know anything. Sigh.
It’s now 8:38pm and I have a slight headache. I’m also a bit concerned about my studying progress cos I realised my current study plan was… a tad too optimistic about my speed and brainpower. I’m quite behind and ahhh I’m getting stressed again. help.
Well enough blogging for the day, I’ve got to get back to work. I have one more chapter to power through!! all the best to me :”)
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Day 1/7 of cramming 12 weeks of content into 7 days
Got off to a bit of a late start, but at least we’re here! Gonna try show up for the next few days too :)
Honestly it’s going not bad? I managed to complete the content I said I’d study (still got a few more chapters to go… almost there though) and it’s been really chill experience listening to random japanese songs while studying :D nearly fell asleep like 5 times and I think I actually did fall asleep once, but it’s cool I’m still pretty much on time hehe.
Only thing about the whole day is that… it feels a bit too easy? Like I’m not trying hard enough… I’m worried that on the day of the exam, I won’t remember anything because I didn’t study hard enough or actually try properly. That makes me stressed.
Ah well maybe the next few days’ content will be more tricky. I hope I’ll be able to sustain this though. I am quite proud of what I’ve achieved today.
It’s 7:10pm now and I’m gonna break for dinner soon :) see you tomorrow!
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I realised that I can just make a secondary blog under my art blog LOL. Gonna reblog all these posts to this blog so I have them under one account yay :)
The start of something new?
Hi, Els here :D I realised I can use tumblr as a slightly more personal blog to help me get away from things in life, since sometimes when I voice the self-destructive thoughts in my head to my friends and family they either look at me strangely or get worried about me, or both.
But yeah! For some reason I feel more at ease posting nonsense here than on Twitter or Instagram. There’s too many people there and I don’t need everyone to see this. It’s just personal thoughts. And tumblr is kind of rustic, in a way.
I haven’t blogged ever and it’s nice to just ramble on for a long time without needing to worry about text limit or story views. I don’t need replies, I just want space. And oddly enough it feels different to post something versus documenting it in my journal. It’s kind of like standing at the top of a mountain and shouting my fears and anxieties into the wind, as compared to writing things in a secret book and locking it up in my cupboard.
Let’s see how this goes, then! Maybe I’ll start blogging more regularly too ahaha. Look forward to hearing my not-so-depressed and slightly unhinged thoughts.
:)
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